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Chapter 2

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He woke up with a splitting headache. He remembered him getting drunk, spewing nonsense love confessions about Mikasa and Sasha in his room.

'Shit!' He cursed himself.

He had few vivid memories of what happened last night. The empty space next to him had a lingering smell of her. Smell of fresh summer and blossom. He sighed and tried to gather his thoughts.

'How am I gonna face her after what happened? I am the stupidest dumb shit in the world. I took advantage of her last night.' Scolded himself, he got off from his bed and gathered his scattered clothes. He could still remember the feeling of her body close to him. Her lingering smell and sweet moans.

'I am so fucked up.'

'I got to do something.'

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Jean's POV

I still remembered that lazy April afternoon. Mom and I had to move to grandma's hometown since we have been struggling with our expenses and savings in the city. I was dreadful the day when we moved. I missed my friends and the life that we had there.

And that day, I met her. She was a little sunshine who stepped in the porch of our home. That time, I was stubborn to meet our neighbor. I saw her hiding behind her mom's back. A small smile plastered on her face.

Sasha. Her name was Sasha.

She loved potatoes so much. I would always bring baked potatoes whenever we had our sleep over.

She loved cherry blossoms. They taught lilies were her favorite because they would always see her bringing bundles of lilies but those were for Aunt Lisa. I would always give her cherry blossom bouquet day before valentines day. Don't ask me why, I just do it.

Sasha blossomed into a beautiful lady as we grew older. She started to attract attention from males of our age or even those who were older than us. It pissed me off, she deserved someone better. She deserved someone who understood her, knew what she liked. Would hold her hands when crossing the streets because she did not know how and she was sometimes scared to that. Someone who knew her cravings during her period and will take care of her if she's sick.

It somehow scared me that I will never be by her side forever. That idea scared me.

And then I met Mikasa. The first time I saw her, I was awestruck. Her oriental beauty really attracted me. I liked her so much and maybe at some point loved her. I was a bit unsure of what I feel but I wanted to take a risk.

It was clear that she loved Eren, her childhood best friend. She was head over heels for him. I still tried to court her and least did I know, I am already neglecting Sasha.

I was rejected by the girl I like.

I neglected Sasha's effort. The most important person in my life.

Now I am conflicted on what to do. How am I going to undo my faults to her? How am I going to face her after that night?

Did I regret it? No, never. Memories started to flash in my mind of that night's events. I am an utter pricked. She loved me but I uttered Mika's name.

She will never forgive me. It breaks my heart. I am scared to loose her.

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Jean couldn't help to cry on his bed. He made a grave mistake. He hurt Sasha the most. He was supposed to be the one who will wipe her tears away.

'She must be crying right now.' He bawled. His chest tightened as he imagined Sasha crying on her own.

'I have to find her. Let me make it up to you Sha.' He said to himself.

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After what happened with the them, she sprinted back home and secluded herself in the comfort of her room. She could not help but let tears flow from her eyes. Did she regret it? No, she will never regret it. Jean deserved everything in the world and she would give everything to him without any hesitations at all. Even her body and soul.

But after hearing Mikasa's name, she felt her world crumbled. She wanted to hate the girl but her doesn't have a room in her heart to hate her. It was not her fault that Jean has great affection for her and it was not her fault that she took advantage of Jean's moment of weakness.

'You are brave Sasha. Maybe I will figure out what I will do tomorrow. I am so tired. My heart is tired.' She fell asleep, drowning in the sea of dreams.

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Frantic knocking startled Lisa Braus. She immediately checked who it was and opened the door for the young lad.

"Is everything okay Jean?" She asked worriedly.

"Is Sasha in her room Aunt Lisa?" He asked calmly. He did not want that Sasha's mother would also worry with what was happening with the two of them.

"Hm, Yes? I guess. I have not noticed. Go check her. I was at the backyard few hours ago. Maybe she already retired in her room. Is there something going on Jean?" She skeptically asked him.

"I—uh— We got a bit of misunderstanding Aunt Lisa. Can I check on her? Perhaps talk to her?." He asked and waited for her approval. She responded with a nod and Jean rushed to Sasha's room.

He cautiously knocked on her door but nobody responded. He tried wiggling the door knob and noticed that it was not locked. He slowly opened it and saw her already fast asleep on her bed. Streak of tears were noticeable on her delicate face. Her eyes were puffy and she was still on her jeans and shirt.

He silently sat next to her bed.

"I am sorry Sha. Probably words are not enough to make up with what I did. I just want you to know that I deeply apologized with what I did. Let's talk." He whispered until he drifted to sleep as he held her hand.

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She woke up around midnight and felt someone holding her hand. It was Jean, snoring lightly at the side of her bed. She looked at him sadly and touched his disheveled hair. He suddenly woke up from her touch.

"Sasha" he said softly, still holding her hand.

"What are you doing here?"

"Let's talk Sha. I am sorry." He pleaded, tightening the hold of her hand.

She sat up on her bed and looked at him seriously. She place her hand on top of his.

"I think it is best that we— I think it's best that we should not see each other for the mean time Jean. I can't deny that I am hurt. I am truly hurt but at the same time, I am ashamed with what I did." She bowed her head, trying to hide her tears from him.

"No.. No.. Sasha. Did you regret it?" He frantically asked her. Fear started to etched in his heart. He did not like the outcome of their conversation.

"No, I will never regret it but you Jean, you—, if you are here because you were guilty of what happened between us. It's fine. It was my decision. Don't be burden with what happened. Let's talk if we are both ready and sure on what to do." She smiled softly at him and removed his hold from her.

He sobbed loudly and pulled her into his arms.

"Please Sha. It feels like you are leaving me." He hugged her tightly. Afraid of letting her go.

"I— please Jean. I am not ready. My heart is not yet ready. Please let me heal." He buried his face on her neck. He will do everything to ask for her forgiveness. He released her from his hugged and placed a kiss on her forehead.

He realized. They needed this. He will give her the space that she wanted and he will figure out his feelings until such time that they are both healed and ready to talk again.

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To be continued..