Harry was right in his assumption that he and Ron were staying over Christmas. He had welcomed the holidays with open arms. The last three weeks had been hell.

His trusting of Buffy or what little there was had diminished a fair deal. He had been given many detentions with Umbridge and when he told Buffy all she did was shrug it off and tell him to keep his cool.

Then there was the little fact that they, being Hermione, had decided to form a club called DA, which technically meant Defence association but they just said DA. They had held a meeting which had apparently been over heard and now there was a ban on all groups that weren't authorised. Not that that had stopped them.

They had had two official lessons before Christmas break began and he thought they had gone very well. Hermione had left making Harry promise to learn as much as he could for their next meeting.

Even though in the two times he had been teaching, he was still taking lessons from Buffy, he had kept it from her. Something inside just told him not to tell her. To him it made all the sense in the world, it wasn't like he owed her anything, right?

He shook his head as he realized it was5:30 on Christmas morning and he was having morbid thoughts. He got up slowly so as to avoid Ron who would eventually jump on his bed to wake him up.

He had a brief thought of whether Sirius would like the framed picture of them that Hermione snapped before he turned to the pile of presents at the end of his bed. Even at 15 years old he still felt his heart race a little bit at the thought of presents he was allowed to open.

He sat at the bottom of his bed contemplating whether to open them or wait for Ron. It was rare that he was up on Christmas day before Ron but he shrugged and then smiled at a thought. He reached over and grabbed the pillow behind him and lugged it at the sleeping form in the next bed. Ron shot up in a panic before lying back down with a glare for a second before gasping "Presents" and practically racing to the pile at the end of the bed.

He automatically started tearing through them.

Harry however settled for reaching for one at a time and calmly opening them.

He received a couple of books on defence from Hermione, A bag of sweets from Ron; Sirius had sent him a young picture of his parents and the marauders. He traces his fingers lightly over this present, smiling as the figures waved at him and Sirius and Remus were poking a hidden figure who he knew was Pettigrew.

It was ironic that Sirius had given him the same sort of present he had given him. He opened the next present which was another knitted jumper from Ron's mum, he laughed at that which made Ron look up and grin at him.

He looked over and saw he still had two presents. He grabbed the closet one and saw it was from Remus. He opened it carefully and found that like Hermione he had been given defence books. Guess the DA wasn't such a big secret for the order or Sirius had told him. He smiled and put it with the books Hermione had given him and reached for the last presents.

He looked curiously at his name written in handwriting he didn't recognize.

As he opened it, he saw around 20 letter tied in a bundle and one letter with the words Read me first! Written on it.

He shrugged and opened the letter.

Dear Harry,

This probably seems like a cheap way to give you a present but I thought long and hard about what to give you. I trust you Harry with what I am sure is a secret you can keep. These letter are written over the period of time before I knew you were at Hogwarts, I am ashamed to say that I stopped writing when I found you were here and things happened which I didn't want to write down.

Anyway, the letters are my life, my reasons for the way I am. I just hope you can understand what I have been through and how I have turned out. I never forgot you Harry! I know it seems stupid that an 18nearly 19 year old writing to a 15 year old reassuring him that their friendship was real. But that is what I am doing. I saw the doubt in your eyes during the training sessions and I knew no matter what I told you, this is the only way you would believe me.

I have to admit that when I first starting sending these letters I thought you hated me. I was positive that the reason you weren't replying was because I left you. Can you forgive me?

But for the longest time, I only wrote you a letter when I needed to tell someone, even though I knew no one was reading them. So I guess this is me letting you know that there is someone out there who was thinking of you all those years you probably suffered.

I want you to know that you can trust me Harry. This is my symbol to you, I am not expecting anything in return. You don't have to tell me anything, I won't force you. I just want to be there for you, like you were for me all those years ago.

Remember when I broke my arm and when you found out, you picked some flowers out of your Aunts yard just to make me feel better.

Even though your Aunt went ballistic on you and wouldn't let you see me for a week afterwards. That is the person I remember. So when you read the letter try to remember we were friends at one stage so don't condemn me.

You are probably getting very curious by now what is in my letters, well your letters. I will finish this letter with a simple Merry Christmas. See you soon.

Love Buffy.

Harry stared down at the letter in a little shock. He looked over at Ron who was chewing on a Frog and ripping open what looked like his last present.

He picked up his letters and said "I'm just going to go somewhere before Breakfast." Ron looked up startled, looking like he had forgotton Harry was in the room and said "You ok?"

Harry nodded and said "Just have to do something."

He then walked out of the room and rushed out of the common room and up to the Room of Requirement. He needed somewhere to read these uninterrupted and comfortable and this was the only room he knew that had both.

He quickly pictured what he wanted and walked into the room. He sat on the couch in the middle of the room and slowly took the first letter out.

Author note: Oh I am beyond evil. Lol. Sorry just had to. Hehe. Hope you like.