It was Christmas Eve, the sun was setting on another day in the Tri-County Penitentiary, Shego was wrapping her gift for Dr. Drakken, it wasn't much a homemade shiv but she knew that the Doctor D. would appreciate the thought behind it.
Shego looked up and down the cell block to make sure no guards were coming and then she flipped her Christmas present across the corridor into Dr. Drakkens cell, "Merry Christmas Dr. D."
Drakken picked up the newspaper wrapped present, and opened it, his eyes brightened and he laughed, "Shego…You shouldn't have, a homemade shiv of my very own."
Shego laughed, "I knew you were having trouble with that one guy in the shower, so I whipped up a shiv for you, I know it's kind of low tech…"
Drakken was admiring the sharpened piece of steel that was once a bed slat that was skillfully transformed into a crude knife by his sidekick, "Now Shego we work with what we have…When shower time comes in the morning and ol' Strange Sam says "Come here blue daddy and show me some love." I'll show him some love alright, I'll show him my shiv, right in his ribs." He told her happily.
Drakken hadn't forgotten his sidekick either as he looked up and down the cell block and slid a box wrapped in newspaper across to Shego.
Shego picked it up and opened it and her eyes lit up, "Awwwww Doc, a carton of Marlboros, I can trade these smokes for all kinds of useful things."
The mad genius scowled, "I've sat in here long enough Shego, I think it's time we started to think of ways to escape."
Shego shook her head, "Doctor D. it's winter time, and I kind of like showering with Marion now, at first I was repulsed because she's hairier than most truck drivers I know, but once you get past that and she starts to rub me…"
Drakken glowered, "SHEGO, enough of your prison rape fantasies. I say it's time to leave it's time to leave. We just have to figure out a way to do it."
Kim sat at home in the living room, talking on the cell phone, "Well Bob, I'm glad one of us got away, let me tell you life in the joint is no picnic."
Angry Bob was relieved that Kim was finally released, he had never had such a passionate kiss in his life and was starting to fall hard for Angry Kim, 'Yea…I can imagine, we were going to organize a big rally outside to protest them holding you but they let you out too fast."
Kim sneered into the phone, "The Man's trying to keep me down Bob…I can't allow it. They want me to spend 24 hours at the Tri-County Penitentiary on Thursday…I think I can make us some valuable allies in there."
This was music to Angry Bob's ears, "Finally a chick that gets it!" he thought happily to himself.
Angry Bob smiled, "Thursday's going to be rough Kim, stay strong, stay focused...I'll have to go back to Berkley soon…I tell you Kim….I'm going to miss causing civil disobedience with you."
Angry Kim nodded, "I will stay here and continue the fight against status quo…Death to The Man, Bob!"
Bob was so happy he was glassy eyed, "DEATH TO THE MAN, KIM." He screamed happily into the phone.
Bob ended the phone call and was left with his own private thoughts, "Is this love? I can't believe it…Someone that thinks just like me…and she's a chick."
Kim dropped the cell phone and glared at the twins that were tied up in the corner of the room, "Ok…I'll untie you but not a word to mom or dad about this."
The twins nodded their heads, then Kim untied them, Tim looked panicked and ran off. Jim held his ground a little longer, "Sorry Kim we won't make fun of you going to jail for a cause anymore." And then he scampered off up the stairs.
Kim picked up her Kimmunicator and looked it over, "I wonder if Wade will help?"
Kim keyed the Kimmunicator and Wade appeared, "Hey Kim, what's the sitch?"
She looked around the room to make sure no one would over hear her conversation, "Wade, I need you to find all the information you can on The Man and where we can find him."
Wade sat upright in his chair and started to choke on the soda he was drinking, "W…what…repeat that Kim, I think I might of misunderstood you."
Kim gave a Wade a look and said, "Wade we have to take The Man down, he's oppressing people and he's got it out for me now."
There was a long silence and then Wade smiled, "You're kidding me right?"
Kim ended the call, "You aren't much good to me anymore Wade…Ron was right about you…You only want us to go on your precious little save the world missions and then when a major one really comes along…It's just a big joke."
Kim looked up the street at Ron's house, she seen him pulling into the driveway. She nodded her head, "Ron will help…We can't let The Man ruin all that is good and pure in the world."
Ron hadn't cleared his car yet when he saw Kim heading up the hill, Ron smiled and got out of his car, "Kim…good to see you out on bail again."
Kim narrowed her eyes at Ron, "Ha, ha, Ron…I need your help…I need you to gear up and help me track down The Man."
"Did Angry Bob put you up to this?" Ron asked.
"No...Bob's going back to Berkley to continue our struggle against The Man." Kim replied indignantly.
Ron rubbed the back of his neck and looked around to make sure he and Kim wouldn't be overheard, "I'd like to help Kim…but it's complicated…you see….there is no The Man…It's just a figure of speech that Bob uses."
"There is too a…The Man, Ron or Bob wouldn't be fighting him so hard." Kim replied angrily.
Ron nodded and held up his hands, "Ok Kim…Suppose there really is a The Man, now we fought lots of bad guys over the last three years…Why haven't we ever ran across him?"
"Because he controls everything and he's the one that sent us out on those missions. Now are you ready to be my sidekick again or not." Kim said glaring at Ron.
Ron stared at Kim a long moment and his mind was turning, "She's wigged out…She doesn't even want to be my friend anymore…I'm just a sidekick…I guess I'll just play along and see where she's headed with this." He thought sadly to himself.
"So…what you are telling me is that…Wade is The Man…I'll get changed and be right down…Shouldn't take us the better part of an afternoon to take down Wade and have you home for Christmas eve." Ron said cheerily.
Kim rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips, "Ron you know that Christmas is just a means for The Man to force the masses into spending way too much money and going into debt so people have to stay enslaved to him."
"Angry Bob told you that so he wouldn't have to buy you a Christmas present." Ron countered.
Kim closed the gap between herself and Ron and pointed her finger right in his face, "Ron, you're either with me or against me on this one…What's it going to be."
Ron didn't like having a finger pointed in his face Kim or anyone else's for that matter and it was all he could do to keep from losing his temper with her. Ron narrowed his eyes and told Kim, "NO"
Kim stepped back obviously not getting the answer she wanted, "Fine…Fine…Who needs you anyway."
"Kim, go home, have Christmas with your family, get a few gifts and have some fun…The Man can always wait for another day." Ron told her trying to reason with his friend.
Kim was shaking her head and looking around, she was angry and was trying to control her temper, "Fine….I see how it is…You're wearing that red vest from Smarty Mart…You've been corrupted by The Man."
Ron bristled, "Kim it's called a job, now go home and open presents."
"Since its presents that you only seem to be concerned with…Here's a present for you Jew Boy, happy Chanukah." She sneered as she thrust the Kimmunicator at him.
The color drained out of Ron's face, he reached out and took the Kimmunicator from her, "That's the last thing I ever thought I'd hear come out of your mouth Kim Possible…Go home now…"
Kim turned and stomped off down the hill and Ron watched her go. His mind was empty of thoughts; he just stood there watching her walk down the hill and then Ron started to shake his head, "Awwww Kim, I wish you'd of just punched me." He thought sadly to himself.
"Now what are we going to do with you?" Ron said looking at the Kimmunicator.
Ron opened the trunk of the car and flipped the device into it, then he reached into his pocket and pulled Rufus out, "Well buddy…what do you think about that?"
"Kim Yuck" Rufus said defiantly.
"Kim Yuck" Ron said in agreement as he walked inside his house.
Christmas at the Possible's was tense, every time a twin would open a gift, Kim would inform them of how it was assembled by child laborers and slaves, or how the plastics were manufactured by use of petroleum products that pollute the air.
Finally Mrs. Dr. P. had her fill of doom and gloom, "Kimmie, I think PBS is running an all day marathon about the evils of the global warming that you can watch in your room." She said trying to sound cheery.
"Sure don't like the message run the messenger off…I see how you all are, just like Ron…I'm going up stairs to plan how I'm going to save the world now." Kim said as she left the living room in a huff.
Mr. Dr. P. looked at his wife, "Phase?"
Mrs. Dr. P. just shook her head, "I sure hope so."
Kim sat on her bed and stared out the window looking up the hill towards Ron's house. She was trying to get the image of Ron's face when she called him a Jew boy out of her mind, "I know I hurt you Ron, but you're not getting the big picture of how evil The Man is…Once I save the world again…You'll be ok." She thought sadly.
Thursday morning rolled around at Tri-County Penitentiary and Shego was summoned to Warden Stewart's office. Shego walked into the room and stood in front of the warden's desk.
"Shego….have a seat…I have a favor to ask of you." The warden said with a grin.
Shego sat down in a chair uneasily, "I'm not going to have to be naked for this am I?"
Warden Stewart looked at her strangely, "No…We have a high school student reporting for our scared straight program and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing your cell with her….and scaring her straight in the process."
Shego smiled, "Uh huh…I think I can scare almost anyone straight, the question is…What's in it for me?"
"I think that would be obvious…You might get out of here before you turn eighty." The warden informed her grimly.
Shego grimaced, "I see your point."
The phone rang interrupting the conversation. Warden Stewart answered the phone, "Yes…I see, very well then."
The warden hung up the phone, "Well Shego your high school cell mate has arrived, let me warn you though…I think you'll find that she can be very head strong."
Shego laughed, "Ummmmmm…Yea…I make them or I break them."
Mrs. Dr. P. let Kim off at the entrance to the penitentiary, she looked at her daughter sadly, "I'll be back to pick you up in the morning, have…fun…in…prison…ok."
Kim was in her mission cloths, she was sporting a black t-shirt with a large red letter "A" in a red circle, the Anarchy symbol, black beret, black sunglasses, "Maybe sooner if I break out." Kim said with a smile as she got out of the car and headed inside.
Mrs. Dr. P. watched her walk into the drab high walled gray stone facility, "My daughter the convict." She said under her breath sadly.
Warden Stewart and Shego were waiting at the entrance; Shego took one look and recoiled, "No…Princess? Oh this is going to be good."
Kim reached up and lowered her sunglasses, "Oh…great…I get to have a slumber party with you." She said bitterly.
Once they processed Kim and fitted in her prison orange jumpsuit, she was taken to Shego's cell, "Princess you get the top bunk." Shego informed her happily.
There was a long silence and then curiosity got the best of Shego, "So…What did you do rob a liquor store…Speeding tickets…Ohhhhhhhh I bet it's for when you trashed that Club Banana store last month."
Kim glared at Shego, "NO…I was in the riot at Upperton University last Saturday night…All we were trying to do was say NO to The Man."
Shego started laughing, "Your kidding right…You and Nerdlinger rioting…Come on now, why are you really here?"
Kim pouted, "No not me and Ron, me and my new boyfriend Bob."
"What did you do, dump Nerdlinger again?" Shego asked.
"No…well yes…I don't know and it's none of your business." She informed Shego.
Dr. Drakken heard Shego talking to someone from across the corridor, "Shego…did you get a new cell mate…I thought we requested our own private cells."
Shego leaned out and said, "Hey Doc guess who my new roomie is?"
Dr. Drakken put his hand up to his face and started thinking, "DNAmy?"
"Nope…not even close." Shego teased.
Dr. Drakken scowled, "Now Shego you know I hate guessing games."
Shego rolled her eyes, "Its Kim Possible"
Dr. Drakken lifted an eyebrow, "Ohhhhh really…Tell her I said hi."
"Doc says Hi, so why are you here again?" Shego asked.
"We were fighting The Man, he is evil and he controls everything." Kim told her.
Shego nodded and said, "Really…fighting The Man…great"
Shego nodded and began thinking of a plan to escape from prison, "If I can convince little Miss Psycho that we're on her side…Maybe she can spring us, and then we just dump her and go back to being evil again."
Shego shook her head, "Yea me and Doc have been fighting him for the last two years and then you and…Ron kept showing up and ruining it for us. If only we could have succeeded one time we could have made the lives of average men and women decent again."
Kim looked depressed, "I never knew I was working for the wrong side, even Ron said once that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you guys really did take over the world."
"Ron said that…How sweet, see Ron knows the score." Shego continued on before Kim interrupted her.
"No Ron's working for The Man, he works for Smarty Mart. As you already know Smarty Mart has sweat shops in Indonesia that force children to work as slaves." Kim told her new prison friend.
Shego smiled and nodded, "Kim has absolutely lost her mind…too bad...so sad."
"Who's using children as slaves and why didn't I think of it first." Dr. Drakken interrupted the conversation.
Shego glared at the Doctor Drakken and winked, "No…child labor is…wrong…right Dr. D?"
Drakken finally caught on, "Oh yes…right…I wish we were out of her fighting The Man and…bringing justice and equality and all that to…the world."
Shego frowned at Kim, "Well maybe Ron's just forgotten how bad The Man is…I just wish we could have one more crack at taking him down…but we're stuck her for the next three life sentences." She said sadly.
Kim looked at Shego, "You have those comet powers, and you could have broken out a long time ago."
Shego frowned and shook her head as she held up her hands, "No can do…These big white bracelets drain the power so I can't use them."
Kim examined the bracelets and shook her head, there was nothing she could do about them, "Looks like I won't be coming home early after all…There must be something that can be done, they could really help us fight The Man."
Kim frowned and then brightened up, "I know…me and my boyfriend Bob could break you guys out and we could fight The Man together."
Shego smiled and shook her head, "Ahhhh it's a nice dream Kim, but I'm supposed to scare you straight to keep you out of trouble."
Kim lost her smile, "Oh yea"
Doctor Drakken chimed in with his thoughts, "Perhaps…You could wait a few weeks that way me and Shego could come up with a new…Save the world plan."
Kim nodded, "Yea, things tend to blow over really quickly with me…Two weeks of behaving myself and then me and Bob can break you guys out."
Shego looked puzzled at Doctor Drakken and thought, "Ok…why two weeks…I'll find out after Princess is gone."
Shego smiled, "Yea Doc that will give me time to make another home made shiv and then we take our fight to The Man in style."
Kim was so excited at finding new allies in her fight against The Man, she was clapping and bouncing on the top bunk, "Ok what do you guys do in here for fun?"
Shego smiled and thought wickedly, "Noooooo…I shouldn't…still she is better looking than Marion…Let's just see how freaky Kim can be."
"Well Kim, you know it can get lonely for a girl being all by herself in a cell and having no one to hold you at night…So sometimes we take these really long hot showers together." Shego said in a very sexy voice.
Kim scrunched up her nose, "Showers?"
Shego moved closer to Kim and started to caress her arm, "Yea showers and we take turns lathering each other up and rubbing one another…I never noticed but you have the prettiest green eyes."
Kim narrowed her eyes as Shego moved in closer for a kiss, "Shego…I ain't nobodies bitch."
Shego shrugged and stepped away, "Well it was worth a try."
Dr. Drakken was trying to be helpful from across the corridor, "We could play checkers, or hang man, Bingo…I really like Bingo."
Kim smiled, "I know we could sing protest songs against The Man."
Shego rolled her eyes, "Doc can I borrow your shiv?"
Monique returned from her grand parent's house and decided to call Ron and see how his holiday was going. She went to her room and unplugged the cell phone and went through the list of saved numbers till she reached Ron's number and dialed it.
She heard the phone ring and Ron answered, "Hey baby, what's shakin' in your world?"
"Just thought I'd see how my FC BF was doing" Monique replied happily.
"Not bad, not bad, working a zillion hours at Smarty Mart." Ron told her.
Monique looked at the calendar, "Only a few days left in 2006 and then it's 2007 and we're closer to graduating."
"Yea…yea, then we go back to school…great" Ron said sadly.
Monique cringed, "Oh yea…I forgot sorry."
"No big, so what you doin' tonight? I'm off." He asked.
Monique smiled, "Up for another Thursday night ritual?"
"No…I'm kind of burned out on Voice of God, I guess I'm tired of carrying drunk girls out of the club." Ron told her as he laughed.
"Well what are we going to do then?" She asked.
"I don't know, we'll find something to do…Tell you what I'll think on it and pick you up around six…ok?" Ron suggested.
Monique smiled, "Ok…I'll leave it up to you, you usually come up with pretty fun things to do."
"Ok I'll see you at six then." Ron told her as he ended the call.
Ron put the cell phone aside and started working on his packet again, "Forms, forms and then forms for forms…What are we going to do tonight for fun?" Ron thought.
Ron stretched and continued working on forms; he had multiple copies of his birth certificate, he had the passport form finished, all he needed was a picture, "I think the school wallet size photos are too small…I'll go to the post office and get one made…Good excuse to get out for a while." Ron thought.
He picked up Rufus and headed out to the Middleton Post Office, "Come on Rufus, let's go for a ride." He said to the mole rat as he walked down the stairs.
Outside in the driveway he could hear the Kimmunicator going off in his trunk, "Ohhhhhh great…well should I see what Wade wants?"
Ron frowned and opened the trunk, he picked up the Kimmunicator and pushed the receive button, "Hi Wade"
Wade was on the other end, "Hi Ron…Sorry to bother you…I see Kim gave you the Kimmunicator."
Ron smiled and nodded and told Wade, "Yea…she said Happy Chanukah Jew boy and handed it over…All I could do to keep from throwing it away."
"Ron…Kim's in Tri-County Penitentiary." Wade said.
Ron shook his head in disbelief, "What's she doing in there?"
"Scared straight program they got her in with Drakken and Shego." Wade said in a panicked voice.
Ron closed his eyes, "Well at least they'll have something to talk about."
Wade grimaced, "Ron have you ever noticed that when your not around Kim goes…slightly bats?"
Ron chuckled, "Yea…I've noticed it…I think it's because we're so used to each other."
Wade shook his head, "No Ron…This may come as a bit of a shock to you but…Kim's a thrill junkie."
"Oh come on Wade." Ron chuckled
"Ron, open your eyes, she's only happy when she's doing insanely dangerous things. Fighting bad guys, skydiving, paragliding, dating you, that's the stuff that drives her." Wade told him.
Ron rolled his eyes, "Dating me Wade is hardly thrilling."
Wade shook his head, "Ron remember the summer, she tried to get you back from Lacey and you found out about the chip and then you guys got back together after Lacey died, then you guys broke up…She attacks Monique and destroys Club Banana, now rioting with that Bob guy."
Ron shook his head, "I am so going to kick Angry Bob's ass…Poor Kim…I…just wish I would have told her not to go out with Angry Bob." He told Wade.
Wade grinned, "Now that doesn't sound like a bad idea…Ron, you need to start dating Kim again."
"No…that's not really going to happen…I mean…I know you don't think a lot of me Wade…I'm not blind…At one time…" Ron stopped talking as he tried to gather his thoughts.
Wade shook his head and apologized to his friend, "Ron…I'm sorry about the chip…I didn't think about what I was doing then."
Ron shook his head, "It's not only the chip now…The Holo Kim you made…It's ruined my life."
Wade looked Ron on the view screen, "Holo Kim that was a couple of years ago."
Ron nodded, "Yea…I was exposed to the Mystical Monkey Power...it's pretty much ruined everything."
Wade shook his head, "Ron your not making sense."
"Wade when I was exposed to the power, I was marked for life. That's why Yamanouchi Ninja School was always so interested in me…Seems I not only can wield the Lotus Blade, but I'm also going to be some sort of assassin and I can't have a normal life now." Ron explained to his friend.
Wade was looking away from the screen, "I'm sorry Ron…I never thought about consequences or anything…It was always adventures and beating the bad guys…I don't blame you for hating me Ron."
Ron sat down in the front seat of his car and shook his head sadly, "It's ok Wade…If Kim was there she'd have been exposed and then she'd be doomed…Better me than her I guess"
Wade frowned, "Ron, you can still be with Kim."
Ron shook his head and laughed bitterly, "I…back when we were still going out on missions…I used to fantasize that Kim and I would get married and have a few kids…We'd work for Global Justice, and lead a life fighting bad guys, you were even going to make dumb ol' me a gadget or two."
Ron stopped and wiped his eyes, "Then that damn prom came along and fed that dream even more…Anyway, after Kim dumped me the first time…I gave up that dream. Now the whole Mystical Monkey thing has taken it away for good."
Ron looked away from the screen and smiled, "Master Sensei told me to live everyday like it's the last...I'm dating Monique now and I'm happy with her and when I get my diploma…I'm going to aliyah to Israel and find my destiny."
"Ron, you can still be with Kim, you guys still love each other." Wade pleaded.
Ron got a far away look in his eye and then frowned and looked down at the little screen and said, "No…I'm tempted to say Don't worry Kim will be ok…but I'm worried too…I have some running to do Wade…Keep in touch with me and let me know how Kim's doing…Hey…How did you know I had the Kimmunicator?"
Wade smiled, "I tried to contact Kim earlier and discovered the Kimmunicator was in a car trunk…Only one person I know would put it there."
Ron smiled and got out of the car and opened the trunk back up, "You right Wade only one person we know would do that….Good talking to you again…Stay in touch Ron out."
Ron turned the Kimmunicator off and dropped it back in the trunk and closed the hatch, "Only one person we know." Ron said to Rufus.
Rufus was standing on top of the front seat and fell off backwards laughing.