Side-ship: Theo Nott/Blaise Zabini
Hermione stormed out of Malfoy Manor and to the Manor's large backyard. She pointed a quick sonorus to her throat. In her incandescent rage, she did not notice the third figure in the sky was missing.
"DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY. GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW OR I WILL BE LIABLE TO THROW HEXES. GIVE ME BACK MY COCK RIGHT NOW. YOU KNOW I NEED IT TO PLAY AND YOUR PETTY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVENESS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH. IF YOU DON'T RIGHT NOW, I WILL WITHHOLD SEX."
A moment passed, then a voice boomed down from the sky, unmistakably not Draco's.
"GRANGER, I'M AFRAID DRACO'S SCRUMPTIOUS ASS HAS GONE TO THE LOO."
Oh, God. Blaise.
"AND BY COCK, I ABSOLUTELY MEAN SHUTTLECOCK. FOR BADMINTON."
"YOU COULD JUST ANGRY SHAG DRACO INSTEAD- MAYBE SOMETHING TO HIS ASS THIS TIME- LIKE BLAISE SUGGESTED? NOW MIGHT BE A GOOD TIME TO TRY SPANKING, GIVEN YOUR MOOD."
She sighed. There was Theo's crassness. Honestly, the two were perfect for each other.
"I'LL GO FIND HIM. THANKS."
A snicker.