Well, I have been craving a KakaAnko for some time, and I decided to write this little piece to abate my obsession. XD Hope y'all enjoy!
Watch Me Cry
The curse seal ached again.
No, not ached. Compared to this, an ache would've felt like a spider bite, and she'd welcome the faint throb as a temporary annoyance.
The brand on her neck seared, so much she thought she might die from the agony. As it was, she probably should have been dead already. The villagers and her colleagues made it a point to remind her of that often.
"You're one lucky sonofabitch, Anko. A seal that powerful woulda sucked the life right out of an average person."
She still didn't understand how that was supposed to boost her morale. Made her feel like some freakish mutant, to be honest. But people thought she was a raving lunatic, anyway. Hadn't fully accepted her since she returned to Konoha after a stint as Orochimaru's lab rat. Anko knew that; she had come to terms with it, but she wasn't about to kow-tow to anyone's sensibilities. So they didn't trust her yet. Big deal. It was no skin off her back.
Except during times like this, when her hard-ass routine cracked, when pain practically drove her to her knees, when all she wanted was to be taken care of…
She had left her apartment before she realized what she was doing, where her legs were about to take her, and by then it no longer mattered.
There was only one place she could go.
---
"Settle down, boys."
Two hounds that had been playfully roughhousing on the floor near the foot of their master's bed each let out a bark and then grew silent, though one, determined to have the final say, nipped the ear of the other.
"And none of that," Kakashi's voice, buried beneath blankets, warned as another scuffle threatened to ensue. "If either of you wake me up, you'll be sorry."
That seemed to do the trick; the dogs ceased moving.
Preparing to surrender his consciousness completely to sleep, the jounin grinned. It had been a rough day—his objective was to assassinate a particularly troublesome renegade who was spreading nasty rumors about Konoha's interrogation methods and also happened to be female. Kakashi hated killing women—and he was relieved to be at home, surrounded by familiarity, by security.
Later, he'd ask himself why he stuck with ANBU. Later. After he got some much- needed rest.
It was a question he was in no hurry to answer.
---
The balmy night air, usually so pleasant, suffocated her, and the sharp sting in her neck spread throughout her entire body, like a flame traveling along a trail of kerosene.
Anko clutched at the seal, tears streaming from her reddened eyes.
She never cried. Crying was for pussies. Crying was for weaklings with no self-control. Crying made you vulnerable, and she'd had enough of that under Orochimaru's pitiless gaze.
"Damn you," she whispered resentfully, "damn you to hell."
In response, a wave of dizzying pain crashed over her, and she was forced to pause, gasping.
Though she'd left him three years ago, her sensei was always with her.
"Bastard."
The leaves on nearby trees rustled.
Anko carried on. Little bit further…you'll be there soon…
---
"Come on, Kakashi! What're you waiting for?" Laughter. "Jackass. Quit lagging!"
Obito is running, running, running…but running to where? Kakashi doesn't know, though he is compelled to follow.
"They're all here! Everyone! See them, Kakashi? Look. Look hard."
He looks.
A man and a woman raise their hands in greeting. They step to the side, revealing a girl whose smile lights up her entire face. And seated next to her on the grass, twirling a kunai about his pointer finger, is…
"Sensei," Kakashi says, awestruck. "It's you…you're really…"
"No. I'm not, boyo," he shakes his head sadly. "It's just that I can be anywhere in dreams…"
His outline begins to fade, and Kakashi cries out.
"What do you mean? Sensei! Yondaime-sama!"
"I don't belong here, boyo. Part of the contract…"
"Contract?"
"Goodbye, Kakashi."
"Wait! Sensei!"
But he is gone, and so are the others. His mother, his father, Rin…
"Did you see, Kakashi?" Obito wonders. "Did you see them?"
Kakashi blinks.
"Yes. I saw them."
Barking. Kakashi heard barking.
Brow furrowed, he opened his eyes and checked the clock on his nightstand.
"Oh god," he groaned into his pillow. "I give up."
It was one o'clock. He hadn't slept an hour.
The dogs raced out of the room, yapping even louder than before. Once they realized their master wasn't behind them, they bounded back in and howled insistently.
"What? What is it?"
But the dogs continued howling, and, resigned, Kakashi dragged himself out of bed.
"Okay, okay, I'm coming, for cripes sake."
Scrambling ahead of him, the dogs pawed at the front door of the apartment when they reached it, something they normally did whenever company arrived.
Kakashi raised his eyebrows.
"A visitor, huh?" Who the hell would stop by so late? His stomach dropped. Gai. That little twit…I'll murder him…
Gently shoving the dogs aside, he fumbled with the deadbolt for a moment, inwardly cursing both his impaired motor-skills and his 'eternal' rival. When the bolt clicked, he flung the door open, ready to treat the spandex-wearing source of his current distress to a sound reprimand, however his plans did not exactly pan out the way he envisioned.
"Anko?"
She swayed dangerously, and he rushed forward to catch her, gathering her close in his arms. Her tears fell hot and thick on his shoulder, and she trembled.
"It hurts," she repeated over and over. "It hurts, it hurts, it hurts."
Maneuvering backwards through the doorway, Kakashi prodded the door shut with his foot. "Shh, I've got you," he said, stroking her hair. "I've got you now." He made his way to the couch in the living room and sat cross-legged, Anko in his lap.
"I'm dying," she murmured.
"You're not," Kakashi insisted. "Relax, kid. Take a few deep breaths. If you're tense it'll hurt more."
The hand in her hair moved to rub her back, and she instinctively leaned closer, enveloped by his warmth, soothed by his touch.
This was why she came here.
He was levelheaded, dependable, grounded. He rarely lost his composure. And he knew her. He was attuned to her. He always said what she needed to hear.
He loved her. He told her so himself.
---
"Oy, brat. You know I love you, right?"
"Bullshit. I'll bet you say that to every pretty girl you meet."
"No, that's the bullshit."
"Haha."
"Seriously, though, kid. I do love you."
"Oh yeah? Prove it, then."
"Sure," he said, pulling down his mask and grinning cheekily at her.
Any doubt she held on to after he kissed her—quite thoroughly—was kept merely to prolong the game. Kakashi was the kind of person she could play hard-to-get with and enjoy it.
---
They had history, her and Kakashi. He was the first boy she ever kissed…and countless kisses had followed. He was the first boy to actively chase her, and as far as she was concerned, he hadn't stopped.
He was the first man—the only man—she'd ever slept with.
---
"I can't believe we're doing this…"
"Me neither. I figured you'd castrate me for suggesting it at all."
She smacked his naked belly. "Shut up, you jerk." But she smiled when she said it, which took the edge off.
"So…shall we, my violent dove?" He pressed his lips to her collarbone.
"Moron," she giggled.
"Why, thank you." His mouth journeyed lower.
Anko's breath hitched.
"Yes, ma'am," Kakashi said smugly.
---
She trusted him enough to cry in front of him.
"Feel better?" Kakashi asked, noticing she seemed calmer now than when she arrived.
"Yeah. Sorry…I got your shirt all wet."
He snorted. "That's the least of our worries, I think." Peering at her tearstained face, he added, "You'll be staying over tonight, of course."
Anko chuckled ruefully. "Mm-hm."
"Good. I could use a distraction."
"From what?"
"Oh…stuff," he replied vaguely.
Her eyes narrowed. "Kakashi…I spent the last few minutes bawling all over you, and you can't tell me what's wrong?"
The silver-haired jounin winced.
"It'll sound too much like whining for my comfort. I can't stand whiners."
"I can't stand them either. Talk."
Defeated, Kakashi let out an explosive sigh.
"Fine. The same old crap. My past. ANBU. Lack of sleep…"
"Partly my fault," Anko conceded apologetically, but he waved her off.
"Naw. Don't worry about it. I'd rather be with you like this than sleep."
Something about the way he looked at her and smiled stirred an emotion that she'd feared to indulge in, because it had betrayed her once…
"Why do people live in their pasts?"
Kakashi's expression was unreadable.
"It's easier," he said.
Anko traced the pad of her finger over his scar. "…to run away." She kissed him. "We shouldn't run."
"No," he whispered, and returned the kiss. "We shouldn't."
---
Later, she would confess that she loved him too. Later. After the seal stopped hurting.
She wasn't ready to show up at his apartment without an excuse.