A Sense Of Family

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Chapter Nine: The Volcano

Ramiela:

I looked forward to Kaliann's visits, she joined me for long talks in the garden, or we'd spar in the small dojo in our home. Our talks were never of great importance just every day stuff, but the little jokes and the companionable discussion was relaxing. True there was five years difference between us, and in many ways I felt so much more mature then that but it didn't seem to matter, we had found common ground in each other's company and there were times I often thought of her more like a little sister, as well as being my friend. The first real friend around my age I ever had.

I hadn't had many friends as a child, those I had acquired were short lived, simply because I had to spend most my time in studies and lessons on ninjitsu, there was little time for me to play or enjoy myself, my Masters were strict, but then they had their orders from father, who wanted to insure I would become the ninja he desired, the one trained to bring down his worst enemies.

While she was familiar with the Japanese language and some of the customs of Japan,as they had been instilled into her in her youth, there were still many customs that were unfamiliar to her, such as the tea ceremony. When I had initially invited her to join me for a proper tea ceremony in the garden she had given me the oddest of looks before stating "All the tea ceremony is, is sipping tea and talking Rama, we don't need a ceremony for that we just do it."

I shook my head surprised that she felt the tea ceremony was nothing more then companionable talk while enjoying refreshments "The tea ceremony is very different from that. Through the ceremony one learns to slow down and appreciate the things around us. It helps us to see the beauty in the ordinary, the niceties of the ceremony stay with you long after the tea and cakes are gone" I explained.

Of course I had been raised in Japan, I had learned manners quickly while absorbing clan life, the morals and ethics that had been instilled into me in my youth were still a part of me.

Kali was coming over today to once again join in the tea ceremony she had quickly caught on to it and seemed to enjoy sitting in the garden for the ceremony telling me that it was far better than meditating and just as refreshing. When Kali arrived she greeted me with a hug, I sidled out of her arms ever so carefully, feeling more than a little uncomfortable with the affection she bestowed upon me.

I knew Kali meant no harm, so I did my best to tolerate her touch but such displays were almost unknown to me and I was not used to this casual way of greeting one another. However I was also aware that Mike's clan seemed to be very much into such displays. I had often seen them hug or touch one another in friendly, reassuring ways. I figured if such displays was a requirement of this clan then it was unlikely for me to ever fit in. Course I probably would never fit in anyways.

"Sorry about yesterday Rama" Kali began, "Aiden shouldn't have gone after you the way he did."

"It is not your fault Kali so there is no need for you to apologize." I stated casually.

"Mom and Dad grounded Aiden for a few weeks, plus Aiden has to do a lot more practice sessions and work around home as well as writing a long essay." Kali declared, "Oh and he also has to apologize to you too."

"A forced apology has no sincerity and I would not put much stock into it. Your brother has a great deal to learn about respecting others" I remarked in a miffed way before turning to walk to the gardens, I sighed "Still he is young and has a lot to learn about many things."

Kali followed close behind entering the garden and going to sit by the table she bit her bottom lip then she blurted out quickly "My parents don't want me sparring with you anymore. They think you might hurt me." She confessed reluctantly, heaving a miserable sigh.

I felt a flash of hot anger blaze up from somewhere within. I was tired of being cast as a demon or a monster. I wasn't! I had not had the audacity to invite someone into my home and then launch an all out attack on them. I took a couple of deep breaths, knowing that Kali didn't deserve my rage, so I swallowed it down like disgusting bile. Kali however must have seen something for she was quick to say.

"We can practice anyways Rama, I know you'll never hurt me. Mom and dad would never know about it. Besides they aren't really being fair about this." She declared emphatically.

I stared at her for a moment in shock, simply because her words astonished me on a few levels, one of which was the fact she would even consider going against her parent's direct orders, to just outright defy them. I had never done such a thing, not with my father. No! I had learned that it was far better to comply and not ignore his wants or demands no matter how unjust they might seem to me.

I finally gave a shake of my head to clear my mind " It would not be wise to defy them. You ought to respect your father for two reasons, first he is your father and secondly he is the clan leader." I might not like Leonardo myself, but I was not about to tell one of his Jenin to defy his orders, that would be so wrong.

"He is still wrong about you Rama" Kali snapped defensively.

"We all make mistakes Kali, but just because someone we love makes a mistake doesn't give us the right to make a mistake to get revenge upon them" I advised her, "Talk to your parents they don't seem that unreasonable, well your mother doesn't at any rate."

"Talking won't do any good, not as long as they believe you will hurt me, either accidentally or on purpose" Kali grouched sitting back in her chair as she crossed her arms over her plastron.

"Then abide by their decision. One does not disobey a clan leader just on simple grounds." I retorted, "it might be difficult to obey but nothing is impossible" I murmured.

"Easy for you to say" Kali laughed a little "You don't know my dad."

I arched an eye ridge as I checked the tea in the pot before pouring the liquid into the waiting cups. "You are forgetting who you are speaking to Kali. Yukio Sekora was my father and Clan leader as well, just as Leonardo is yours. As my father and clan leader he asked a great deal of me, things I often felt were not adequate or appropriate but he was still Jonin and I had to comply..." I paused.

Kali leaned forward as she took the teacup from my hand she stared at me expectantly "Yukio wasn't always easy to please huh? I bet there were times you wanted to disobey him."

"Many times" I admitted wistfully as I let out a shaky breath of air. My brow furrowed and I shuddered as an image came to mind but I quickly shoved it back to whatever neither region of my mind it had come from "I rather not talk about it." I concluded.

"Yukio hurt you when you didn't obey him. Most of the scars you have are because of him and what he did" Kali stated knowingly, "But fathers shouldn't hurt their children Rama."

I gave a weak smile "Father did as he felt was best for me. I'm sure he did the best he could," but even as I said those words I had to wonder if they were really true or not. "He believed that I would have to sacrifice a great deal to become the powerful and skilled kunoichi that he expected me to be. When I acted inappropriately he would lesson me."

"You mean torture" Kali corrected bluntly, "he beat you and tortured you. That wasn't a lesson that was out right abuse and cruelty" Kali's tone was indignant, "Just like when you lessoned Uncle Raph and Mike."

She was not trying to throw my past actions in my face, rather she was just commenting on the facts of how things had gone, she was just telling things the way it was, and I recognized her words for what they were, the truth.

I gave a small smile "No what I received from father was more along the lines of what Leo suffered at my father's hands during your imprisonment." I answered. I took a deep breath.

This talk was starting to unsettle me and I really didn't want to think of those times. I didn't believe, no I knew it wasn't right to be angry at father but Kali's anger made me wonder if perhaps I was wrong in thinking such a thing.

"Why did you go against Yukio to help us then?" Kali asked stubbornly refusing to let it go.

I shrugged "I'm not sure, not even now, after all this time." I admitted.

Kali sipped her tea, and waited patiently for a better answer then that.

"I was having a lot of memories of when I had been part of your family, before living with Yukio. They were vague, disjointed and overwhelming they sort of took over. But those memories seemed far more like a dream then any reality" I sank back into my chair gazing with disinterest at my tea, I had a cold shaky feeling inside that was growing stronger that came from somewhere deep within my being. "Back when we had you prisoner. I had many memories of Mike and how he had once been my dad and I loved him then." I took a few deep controlled breaths fighting to retain hold of control of whatever seemed to be slipping so quickly through my fingers, "The last time I tortured Mike was, well I didn't even want to do it only he insisted that if I didn't it might raise suspicion and make father suspect something. He told me it was better for him to be hurt then for Yukio to hurt me. He was kind and he wanted to protect me, and that was something I never really got from father. Truth is no one had ever tried to protect me from anything."

"Is that when you remembered Uncle Mike as your real dad?" Kali inquired kindly.

I gave a slow deliberate negative shake of my head "No I had learned father had been lying to me. He had an heir to the Foot Clan his own flesh and blood son. He had always told me I was the only one. With the memories and the knowledge he had lied to me about important things, I had the strangest premonition that he would kill me." I swallowed and sniffed a bit, the strange feeling I couldn't even begin to identify was growing and I knew I had to change the subject and get away from this, for I was afraid of what might happen if it didn't. " Sometimes I thought I was just longing to be a part of your family. It took a while for me to realize he was my dad but I felt I couldn't betray Yukio. Still all the lies made me decide I had to try to get you all free. I wanted just Mike but I knew he would not leave the rest of you there."

I reached out taking my teacup in hand and sipping the warm brew, and though I knew it was still hot because of the steam rising from the cup, it didn't feel very warm in my shaking hands or in my mouth, in fact the liquid seemed to grow cold as I swallowed it. "Your mother wasn't too upset about what happened yesterday, was she?" I asked .

Kali laughed and smiled "I think mom was more worried you'd hurt Aiden after his foolish stunt of tossing the shuriken at you. Not that Aiden didn't deserve you thumping him for attacking you in our home. Sometimes my brother has no manners whatsoever."

"It wouldn't help matters for me to beat on him, now would it?" I pointed out "It would only make me out to be more of an enemy though I was ready to defend myself after the attack was launched. Besides I know I can beat Aiden, and he knows it too. It unnerves him, I think, to feel weaker then me, especially when he knows what I can do. I have nothing to prove and will only push the others away. I really didn't want to upset your mother."

Kali smiled as she looked into my face "Are you alright Rama?" she asked suddenly.

I nodded to assure her I was fine. She gave me a quizzical look as if she wasn't too sure about it. She gave an indifferent shrug as if she was quite willing to let the matter slide, at least for the time being and for that I was grateful.

"Why do I get the feeling you like my mom even though you hardly know her. I mean, I hate to say it but mom's not exactly friendly towards you."

"But I do know her Kali" I insisted, "from the first moment that I saw her I knew her name, knew that there had been a time that she cared about me and that I had felt deeply for her, so much that I..." I stopped suddenly knowing that I had almost revealed too much.

"That you what?" Kali pressed as she leaned forward in her chair.

" I recall being little and how nice she was to me, the things she taught me, and I wanted her to stay with daddy only..." I considered for a moment, "He told me that people can't exist in the sewers that they needed to be topside and feel the sun, that it wouldn't work out. I still wanted her to stay with us though, I didn't want her to leave not ever!" I laughed a little, "I was a child I was foolish."

Kali sat back as she finished her tea "Mom has always been easier to get along with then dad. She is more lenient with us but dad I guess has to be stricter with shaping us into ninja. Still I have to wonder what mom did to make such an impression on you." Kali tried to keep her tone casual, but there was a hint of curiosity in her words.

"I don't know really because that time is so foggy and dream like to me, that I don't know what is real or not. I know the mind can play tricks on you Kali, that is why I am never sure if what I think I recall is actually what it is." I groaned. "I think it has to do with someone who scared me very badly and I thought I wouldn't see my family again." I shut my eyes for a moment all I had was the image of the dark room and the child I once had been crying for daddy to help, I winced and went beyond that stirring up other memories that washed over me in a consuming sort of way. Images of one thing or another flashed before me and I tried to sort through them as quickly as they came, trying to make sense of what I could before it pulled me under. "Someone who had been visiting had taken me topside and told me that my family didn't love or want me and I was to live with her. Only I saw Karena and I knew she was trying to help me and from then on, well, I loved her." I confessed.

It was the truth I had loved her then, loved her until, she, like the rest of my family had let me down. None of them had bothered to come save me from the dark room and the pain when I had been taken yet again one other time, this time taken to a place of shadows and darkness, pain and hunger that filled my days and nights until I gave up on my family ever coming for me. Yukio later called that place the lab and would threaten me with the dreaded aspect of being returned to that awful place. It had been Yukio who had taken me from that place so he had proven himself worthy.

I had done only what I had to, I had no one and I longed for help, or some show of kindness and since Yukio had been the one to offer it when my family had clearly forgotten or given up on me, there was only one thing I felt I could do and that was to take the lifeline he had thrown my way.

Somehow what was supposed to be the tea ceremony had ended up becoming something else and I knew that there was something building inside now, something that longed to break free. I didn't think, that under these circumstances I could get back to what should have been a relaxing and enjoyable visit.

Michaelangelo:

Rama had been unnaturally snappish and quarrelsome the last few days. It seemed no matter what I did or didn't do it bothered her, she pretty much insisted on being left alone, didn't want to be touched or disturbed in any way. She still came to practice and was extremely volatile, worse then ever.

I knew something was bound to blow or give, she was storing up stuff and at any moment would explode spewing out everything she was fighting so hard to restrain now. Yeah, Volcano Rama was going to blow, it was just a matter of where, when and how bad it was going be when she let loose.

Hell, she'd even been threatening me, often acting as if she'd kill me just as soon look at me, and in her present cheerful mood she just might carry through on her threat, and this was unheard of for she hadn't threatened me since we were prisoners. I wasn't about to press my luck with her, much as I wanted her to let loose and vent, I figured it would clear the air and do her some good, I knew that she would have to let it play out in her own way and that seemed to be stewing in her own juices at least for the moment. All I could do for her at the present was be there for her.

Talk about delicate negotiations.

Due to her recent behaviour I warned Kali to stay away for a few days, explaining that Rama wasn't good company at the moment.

I woke one night about six nights later and I heard Rama screaming somewhere in our home.

"Ate you, I hate you!"

Oh gods what was up now?

I leaped from my bed, instantly awake with my heart racing as I ran full speed in the direction of her screams. I found her in the dojo, she had her katana out and was using it to destroy the dummy of Yukio Don had made.

"Baka na yatsui shiseiji" ( Stupid Bastard!) "Nikushmi na" She roared as her blades flashed slicing away more of the tattered dummy's remains, there was stuffing everywhere, the dojo looked a disaster all ready. ( You deserve to die.)

I looked at the scattered remains of the dummy and what little of it was left dangling from above, a flash of the sword brought the rest down and she pounced on it with her sai plunging and tearing at it, leaving scraps of cloth no bigger then a pinhead, this wasn't killing it was over kill, and it was clear evidence of her wrath and hatred brought to light. I could only stand rooted to the spot watching the whirling dervish as she continued to thrash at what little was left.

My heart ached for her, because I knew she was hurting, but even though she was in so much pain she at least saw fit to turn this murderous rampage on the dummy and not on one of us. I was conflicted not knowing if I ought to draw near her, I wanted to help her but was afraid that if I got too close she might go for me, I knew sooner or later she would wear herself out and then would be the time to approach her. Even though I longed to hold and comfort her I listened to that instinct that told me to stay back until then.

Finally she collapsed into a huddled form on the floor sobbing and shaking all over.

"Rama" I whispered softly, not wanting to startle her. Her head shot up just the same and I saw the torment in her eyes, that lost haunted soul look that disturbed me to no end.

"Don't hurt me father. I'm sorry" she cringed slightly as she positioned herself suddenly into a kneeling position with her upper body bowed to the ground so her forehead was almost touching the floor, she whimpered a bit.

Oh Rama do you truly believe I could beat you for this? I wondered, but perhaps she was lost a bit in the past and thought I was Yukio, and I knew Yukio would not have lost the opportunity to reprimand her for anything, in fact I had a feeling that when we got the best of Yukio it was Rama who paid for it with her flesh and blood. Oh he might not have said that it was us, no any excuse he could find in her behaviour or attitude would do.

"Masume ga iie hitaryo kewageru. Ga kesshito nai itamu O" I spoke in a soft whisper keeping my tone gentle as I walked towards her crouching down in front of her. ( My daughter there is no need to be afraid. I would never hurt you."

She raised her head and locked her haunted reddened eyes on mine "Tasuke" she pleaded and that wrenched at my heart. ( Help)

I opened my arms and she crawled into them shaking all over. "I'm here for you Rama" I whispered as she huddled closer to me clinging with all the desperation of one who holds their only hope of survival and yet knows that they might not have the strength to maintain that hold.

TBC