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There was no time to sit back and wallow in her grief. People the galaxy over were losing husbands and wives, children, parents, siblings, all those dear to them, and they still had to go on, many under horrific circumstances. J.R. Shepard was no different.
It was strange to suit up again, to climb onto the shuttle with Kaidan and Javik and get ready to go planetside. They were hunting for Ann Bryson, daughter of the scientist who had worked so hard to find Leviathan. Ann herself was in danger now, and didn't even know that her father was dead, or the dark turn his research had taken.
The shuttle was silent until Javik spoke up, somewhat uncharacteristically for him. "Do you know that your Joker pilot insists that I should call myself 'Prothy the Prothean'?" He growled. "I insisted he allow me to throw him out the airlock."
Shepard managed a smile at that. "Please don't. He's the best pilot in the galaxy."
"So he has informed me. Many times." He shook his head. "The Mordin salarian asked if he could dissect me. I told him that I approved—but only if he could defeat me in combat first."
"What did he say?" Kaidan asked.
"'Problematic'," Javik quoted. "I do not understand that one. In fact, Commander, I do not understand many of your crewmembers."
"You're not the only one," Shepard said dryly.
Ahead at the controls, Cortez laughed.
"Did you know that the Wrex krogan offered me a job? He said that if I tired of the 'easy life' on the Normandy, he would give me something real to shoot at."
"He doesn't think the Reaper forces are real? Typical." Shepard shook her head affectionately. Wrex would never change.
"Do you ever get tired of fighting, Javik?" Kaidan asked him.
Javik looked at him for a long moment. "Your Liara asari has asked me that question, also." He shrugged. "I believe we are all a product of our time. Had I been born in this cycle, perhaps I would be the noble scholar she wishes me to be."
"Do you think you'd like that? It's a whole different kind of work." Personally, Shepard imagined she'd be rather bored with nothing left to fight.
"I wouldn't know. Living a life of constant war, taking life in every battle …"
"Yeah, I can see how it would be tough to see outside the box." Kaidan spoke as someone who had no trouble imagining life in a different box. Shepard envied him that.
"It is the only 'box' I have ever known. Probably it is the only 'box' I will ever know." Javik nodded. "It shapes me. A stone is shaped by the one who carves it. The stone has no choice in what form it will take." He looked up at Shepard, all of his eyes on her sharply, seeing deep inside her. "You and I, Commander … war is our sculptor. And we are prisoners to its design."
"Maybe not much longer." Shepard felt wearied all of a sudden, the years stretching out ahead of her with no prospect of a change, no victory possible. What if someday she wanted something different? She didn't want to be chained to the Reapers for the rest of her life. "Maybe we win this, and both of us are set free. Maybe Leviathan is the key, and the Reaper war is as good as won."
"So a Reaper goes rogue and kills one of its own? That's what we're looking at here, right?" Kaidan asked.
"Yeah. Bryson was onto something much bigger than he knew. It's a shame he didn't live to see it come to fruition."
Javik shook his head. "If this Leviathan is a defector, a Reaper that broke away from the others, then it is also a traitor. And traitors are never to be trusted, even among the enemy. If they can betray their own kind, imagine what they can do to you."
Cortez spoke up, tension in his voice. "Shepard, we're coming in hot. Lots of Reaper activity down there."
She readied her weapon. "Time to get our hands dirty, then."
They were barely in time to save Ann Bryson, and the rest of the research facility was a total loss. Shepard had to admit, she was getting tired of the destruction everywhere she went. Just once, she'd like to land somewhere that was in decent shape, where people were happy. Maybe a life without fighting wouldn't be so boring after all.
Ann Bryson had been in contact with one of the glowing orbs through which Leviathan transmitted its spirit, and had been temporarily taken over by the entity. They snapped her out of that and managed to get her back on the shuttle. She was a tired-looking woman of about Shepard's age.
"What … what happened down there? One minute I was in the bunker, and then … I was here."
"Leviathan took control of you. We cut the connection before you got hurt."
"Took control? Leviathan itself? That's incredible." Ann thought about that, her eyes bright with fascination.
"It seems to have a powerful psychic connection to anyone who gets too close to one of those artifacts."
"Dark. Cold. Is that right?"
"Yes, people keep saying 'the darkness cannot be breached'."
Ann Bryson frowned. "I wish I knew what that meant."
"We both do. For that matter, so do the Reapers. We were hoping you could help us figure out why."
"I'm sure my father will know."
Shepard took a seat next to her. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. Your father was killed—one of his assistants was taken over by Leviathan, as you were, and shot him. I guess Leviathan thought your father was coming too close. But we have to get to it. Whatever it is, Leviathan may be our last hope."
"I … Are you sure about this?"
"Yes. I was there. I wasn't fast enough to stop it. I'm sorry." Something of Shepard's own recent experiences strained and cracked her voice. Was she never going to be fast enough? Was she going to just miss saving someone over and over again?
Ann Bryson nodded. "I understand, When we—when I reach the Citadel, I will look through my father's research and see what I can do to help. If you don't mind …"
There was no privacy aboard the shuttle, but the rest of them turned away as she buried her face in her hands and wept. Tears stung Shepard's eyes, as well. How she missed Thane.
Kaidan reached across from his seat and put a hand on her knee, squeezing lightly. He didn't speak, so as not to disturb Ann, but his open face said clearly that he was there if Shepard needed him. She managed a smile for him, in acknowledgement and thanks. In all this, she had to remember that she had friends. Her motley crew of galactic wanderers. Javik might think the crew of the Normandy was strange—but Shepard wouldn't have it any other way.