CHAPTER ELEVEN: BONDING

Tara timed her arrival back at the Summers' home to happen just after Willow had left. She knew it was cowardly to avoid her former girlfriend, but she didn't think she'd be able to face Willow so soon after their break-up. She walked up the stairs towards Buffy's bedroom, but was sidetracked by the open study-room door.

She poked her head around the corner and was surprised to see Buffy clad in denim overalls and a tightly fitted pale blue shirt, a navy blue bandana holding her hair in place. Tara grinned at the sight.

"You look like Domestic Buffy," Tara said, giggling slightly.

Buffy turned, and grinned. "Hey Tara. How was class?"

"Good actually," she replied honestly. "It uh…helped me to get my m-mind off things."

Buffy smiled gently. "That's good then."

Tara looked around the room, surprised by Buffy's progress with it. The last time she'd seen the study, it had been completely cluttered by Joyce's old belongings that none of them had the heart to get rid of.

"Where did you put your m-mom's things?" Tara asked gently.

Buffy's smile faded and Tara regretted her question.

"Well…some of it went to the gallery, which was good cos…well, the money we got went into Dawn's college fund and the general household money. Um…I put some of it in storage…the stuff that I really couldn't get rid of, y'know," Buffy explained.

Tara nodded. She knew exactly what Buffy meant. She'd gone through the same thing with her mother's belongings. She still had a lot of her mother's possessions with her that she couldn't bear to part with.

"Her clothes and stuff went to Goodwill. And uh…that's about all that was in here."

Tara stepped forward and gently touched Buffy's arm. The Slayer looked up at the blonde Wiccan, tears stinging her eyes.

"Thank you," Tara said quietly, her tone genuine and sincere. "I know this must have been h-hard."

Buffy nodded and gave a half-hearted smile. "That's one word for it. But…it needed to be done, and you gave me the perfect excuse to do it," Buffy said. She paused for a moment and looked proudly around the nearly clean room. "Besides, I didn't even know we had a bed in this room."

Tara chuckled slightly moved to sit on the aforementioned bed. It was only a single bed; probably one that had either come with the house or that had belonged to Dawn before the young girl had upsized to a double bed.

"Oh, and uh…I may have forgotten to mention that even though I've cleaned this place out, if…if you really don't want to stay, then you don't have to. But…I just…well, I wanted you to know that I –we- want you here," Buffy said softly, slightly self-conscious. "No matter what happens between you and Wills."

She took a seat on the bed beside Tara, her heart racing for an unknown reason. It was strange; her nervousness seemed to skyrocket whenever she was around Tara nowadays. It was almost like it had been when she'd been around Angel and Riley for the first time. She hadn't taken the time to analyse her feelings for the taller girl just yet, though she knew that when she finally did, she would probably be in for a world of heartache. Tara was the type of girl that you could fall into deep and scary love with. And that was something that Buffy wanted to do, she just wasn't certain that having that kind of a relationship with her best friend's ex-girlfriend was the greatest of ideas.

"Or what happens between you and me?" Tara asked, her voice barely a whisper, her heart pounding furiously.

Buffy's eyes snapped up to lock onto Tara's. She could read fear, nervousness and behind all that a new type of love in Tara's pale blue eyes. She hadn't been expecting Tara to bring up what was happening between them.

Buffy sighed deeply and took hold of Tara's hand, taking comfort in the warmth that it brought. She felt Tara's fingers brush over her nearly healed knuckles, the touch sending tingles throughout her entire body.

"Tara…I don't know what's happening between us," Buffy admitted.

"Me neither," Tara replied.

"All I know is…I don't think I want it to stop."

Tara felt herself sigh with relief. She hadn't realised that she'd been holding her breath to hear Buffy's thoughts on the topic.

"But…"

Tara's breath hitched. She should have known there would be a 'but'.

"Nothing can happen between you and I while you and Will are still so up in the air," Buffy said sadly. "Because…because if you and I…if we became an 'us' and you ended up regretting it, well…it wouldn't be pretty for either of us. And I don't want to ruin our friendship."

Tara nodded, taking the words at face value. She knew that Buffy was right in what she was saying. Regardless of the tingles she felt in her stomach and the way her breath caught in her throat when she looked at Buffy, now was not the time to be jumping into anything, especially when so many other people were involved.

Tara remained silent, unsure of how to answer. Buffy, not really one for silence, took this as a bad sign and jumped straight into a babbling ramble that could have rivalled any of Willow's babble-fests.

"And I mean…this is assuming that you even feel what I feel, which…well, how can you, when I don't even know what I'm feeling, cos…I mean, it's all new. And I've never felt like this about another…well, another woman. Except for that one time, but that's a whole different story. But, I mean…you might not, so…it might just be a completely moot point."

Tara smiled slightly. She'd never seen Buffy nervous before. It was a strange sight to behold, and she couldn't help but wonder how she, Tara Maclay of all people, was making Buffy Summers nervous.

"Buffy, stop," Tara said softly.

Buffy stopped and took a deep breath, her cheeks taking on a slight pink tinge as she realised she'd been rambling. "Sorry," she apologised quietly.

"It's okay. And…and I think I do. Feel the same about you, I mean," Tara qualified.

Buffy felt something within her burst with joy at the same time it was overwrought with sorrow. Her eyebrows scrunched together and she sighed.

"We've got the suckiest timing on the planet," Buffy commented.

"I know," Tara agreed.

Buffy breathed in deeply and looked up at Tara, a smile curling onto her lips. She reached across to gently touch Tara's hand, and felt the taller girls fingers entwine with her own. Buffy felt the familiar peace and contentment wash over her. She heard Tara's breath catch slightly in her throat and the Slayer smiled softly, in awe of the effect she was having on the witch.

She shifted closed to Tara and gently brushed Tara's lips with her own, barely making contact at all, but leaving them both shivering with want. With a slight amount of hesitation, Tara brought her lips back to Buffy's, the contact a little firmer and surer of itself.

They pulled apart several moments later and Buffy brought her free hand up to gently cup Tara's cheek. Their eyes met and Tara smiled at the spark that was in Buffy's eyes.

"We s-shouldn't…" Tara said breathlessly. "We…we have to wait…"

The Slayer bent forward once more and placed a chaste kiss to Tara's cheek before standing up and letting go of the witch.

"You're worth the wait."