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Shepard stood in the shower, letting the hot water run over her face, closing her eyes against it. Usually she took very short showers, careful not to abuse the Commander's privilege of unlimited hot water, but today … Gellix was a very cold planet. And those scientists had been in way over their heads, fleeing from Cerberus and trying to take Cerberus's equipment and data with them. If she hadn't arrived when she did … A fresh chill shook her. All those children, all those non-combatants. All those resources for the Catalyst.

And Jacob Taylor, whom she had never expected to see again. She would have been perfectly fine if she hadn't, to be honest. She had never much liked him. Too rigid, too apt to take things the wrong way, too arrogant.

He had been arrogant today, and presumptuous. "I want a life," he had said. "I want a family." As if no one else on the Normandy wanted those things. As if she didn't. He had never even asked about Thane. She had humored him, keeping her feelings close as she had learned to do long ago, telling him she got that, she understood. And Jacob had snorted at the very idea that she might understand the longing for a real life and a family, telling her that the Normandy was her only real love. And had still never mentioned Thane.

Tears welled up in Shepard's eyes and slid down her cheeks, mingling with the water. But underneath her grief, she had to admit she was unsure. Did she want a real life? A family? Was it a coincidence that the man she gave her heart to, the man whose ring she wore, had never had a chance of offering her any of that? Was she incapable of reaching for anything but this—this constant shuttling between planets doing the galaxy's bidding?

The chime of her door was a welcome interruption to her darkening thoughts. "Hold on!" she shouted, turning the water off. Hastily she toweled off and threw on enough clothes to be presentable before commanding the door to open. She was surprised to see EDI standing there. "You know, you could have just spoken to me through the ship."

"Yes. I could have. But I am learning that some conversations go better face to face."

"No argument there. What's on your mind, EDI?"

The robot looked uncomfortable for a moment. "I have been considering my purpose."

"You run the ship. You are the ship."

"Yes, but I appear to be an entity beyond that. So I have looked into what drives other beings. Organics appear to be driven to procreate, to replicate copies of their genes in succeeding generations. But synthetics have no need to do that."

"It's not that different from organic life, really. Yes, we need some members of each species to procreate, but not all. We are free to choose what we want. So are synthetics."

"Perhaps. But something must drive the choice. I had no frame of reference for my options, so I examined other synthetic life-forms. The most successful ones I found to compare myself to are the geth … and the Reapers."

Remembering the indoctrinated geth, what Legion had called the heretics, Shepard felt a moment of panic thinking of what damage EDI could do if she chose to become like the geth. Her tone was harsher than she meant it to be when she replied, "The Reapers have nothing to emulate."

"The Reaper lifespan is between fifty thousand to thirty-seven million years. That's a very successful model," EDI pointed out.

Shepard took a step closer to her, looking the robot in the eye. "And all they do is harvest and destroy. Ask yourself if that's what you really want."

After a moment, EDI nodded. "That is an unusual perspective, Shepard. I will devote processing power to considering it. Thank you."

"Can't ask for more than that." Shepard was confident EDI would arrive at the right conclusion. She usually did. As the robot turned toward the elevator, she called, "EDI?"

"Yes, Commander?"

"What did Joker say, when you asked him?"

"He asked why I would want to be 'like those assholes'. I pointed out that the Reapers do not appear to have similar waste ports to those of humans, but that did not seem to be what he meant."

"No … no, it wasn't." Shepard was going to let Joker deal with that one.

The elevator doors opened just as EDI was reaching for the button, and Kaidan stepped off. He flinched visibly when he came face-to-face with the robot.

"Spectre Alenko," EDI said courteously as she moved past him onto the elevator.

"Uh … EDI." As the elevator doors closed behind her, he laughed nervously. "That—she still scares the shit out of me."

"Sorry. I should have warned you before you came on board."

"You had a lot on your mind."

Shepard nodded in agreement, waiting for Kaidan to continue.

He was still looking at the elevator. Shaking his head, he said, "She looks good, though."

"Kaidan?"

"Hm?"

"Something you need?"

"Oh! No, I just came up to see how you were. That was … That guy thinks he's a friend of yours?"

"Jacob?" Shepard chuckled. "I'm not sure he thinks in terms of friends. Squadmates, at best. I find it's easiest not to take him too seriously."

"As long as you didn't. Take him too seriously, I mean. Some of the things he said were—unnecessary."

"It's all right, Kaidan. But thanks." She was touched both that he had noticed her reaction to Jacob's comments and that he had come up to make sure she wasn't taking them too much to heart.

"Sure. Anytime." He cleared his throat awkwardly, looking around. "Man, Cerberus really didn't cut any corners rebuilding this place, did it? There's a whole lot of credits in here."

This was skating toward thin ice, Shepard thought. There were a whole lot of credits in her, too, and it was still hard to forget Kaidan's initial reaction to that.

But he grinned. "Feels pretty good to have stolen it out from under them, doesn't it?"

Shepard smiled in return. "It does at that."

"All right, I'm going to head down. Maybe I'll run into you in the chow line later." He grimaced. "The food hasn't changed much. What I wouldn't give for a good steak."

"Kaidan? Thanks for checking in. I appreciate the thought."

He nodded. "Sure, Shepard. Anytime."