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Shepard turned over restlessly, punching her pillow. Sleep was elusive, as it so often was these days, and the alcohol and the hours in the pounding beat of the club music—and that kiss—weren't helping the situation.
She cursed herself for an idiot for yielding to whatever crazy impulse had led her to kiss Kaidan. Commander Shepard didn't do that kind of thing. She thought before she acted, she considered what was best for the ship, the mission, the galaxy, the Alliance, and she didn't make a fool of herself in public. It was the shots, she thought.
But was it the shots that sent melting warmth through her limbs now when she thought of Kaidan's mouth on hers, of his arms around her, of the sheer bliss of not having to think for a moment? Or was that something more?
Unable to lie there another minute, she got up, throwing on enough clothes to be presentable. She'd go talk to Joker and EDI. That's what she'd do. No, she wouldn't, either. She'd give them their privacy.
Even as she punched the button to call up the elevator, she couldn't admit to herself where she was going—not until the elevator doors opened and Kaidan Alenko stood there in front of her.
"Shepard, I—"
"Kaidan—"
She didn't know who started it this time. She only knew that she was in his arms again, kissing him, kneading the fabric of his t-shirt and feeling the firm muscles beneath it.
Kissing, they made it to the wall next to her door, and it only took her three tries to key in her lock combination without tearing her mouth from his. The door slid open and she bunched up his shirt in her fist, tugging at him.
Kaidan held back. "Shepard, are you sure about this? Because—"
"Make it stop, Kaidan. Make it all stop. Please. Just for a little while."
He looked at her, concern deep in his eyes, and seemed to be about to ask a question—if she was all right, more than likely, and she had no answer for that—but then thought better of it. He lifted her, carrying her into the room as she wrapped her legs around his waist.
Pressing her back against the glass of the aquarium, he kissed her breasts through the tank top she wore, drawing each nipple into his mouth. Shepard leaned her head back, closing her eyes, letting the sensations fill her.
She could feel Kaidan's hands sliding up over her stomach, pushing the tank top out of his way, and he stepped back, letting her down so that she could pull it off over her head. He reached out to touch a strand of hair that had come loose from her bun.
Shepard reached for the pins, yanking them out and dropping them on the floor on top of her fallen shirt. She gave her head a shake, and Kaidan spread her hair out over her shoulders, his fingers sliding through it, then curling in it to hold her still as he kissed her again.
She could feel that warmth spreading through her again, the security of his strong arms around her, his muscular body against hers, and she wanted more. She pushed at him, moving him closer to the bed. They navigated the few steps down, Kaidan stripping off his shirt as he went. Shepard reached for his belt buckle, unfastening his pants even as his hands were sliding into the waistband of hers. The rest of the clothing came off in a rush and whether he lifted her or she pulled him didn't matter, because she was lying there in the bed underneath him, nothing but sensation—the taste of his kiss, the scent of his hair as his mouth moved over her jaw and down her neck, the sound of his breathing as she reached between them to stroke him, the feel of his fingers at her center, the sight of his broad shoulders rising above her blocking out the light from the aquarium.
The pleasure rose in her until nothing else mattered but this feeling, the peak just out of reach—and then it was there, and she was flying, warm and weightless and free.
Kaidan followed with a low growl from deep in his chest. He pressed his forehead against Shepard's and she could feel his body trembling against hers. Reaching up, she kissed him, quickly at first, and then lingering, her hands restlessly moving up and down his back.
"Can we do this again?" she whispered to him.
"Right now?"
"Right now."
"We'll have to take it slow."
"Take as long as you like. I'm not going anywhere."
He did, indeed, take his time, and by the time it was over the second time the events of the day, the exertion of the activity, and the lassitude of the afterglow combined to send Shepard washing along the shores of sleep.
She woke the following morning alone in the bed, stretching luxuriously, the sheets soft and warm against her body, which was pleasantly sore from the night before. She had slept the night through, as deeply as any night's sleep she'd had in a long time, and found to her surprise that she was still comfortably sleepy.
So she decided to do something she couldn't remember ever having done before—take the morning off, roll over, and go back to sleep. The ship could take care of itself for a few hours, and maybe then she'd feel rejuvenated and ready to take on whatever the next challenge was that the galaxy was going to throw at her.