Day 5

Kelly's Mood!: Not happy.

The Weather!: Dark and scary and I DON'T LIKE IT.

Where Kelly's Army Is!: Somewhere where it's dark and scary and I DON'T LIKE IT.

Okay. Okay. Kelly, CALM DOWN. First of all, it's dark and scary. Second of all, I DON'T LIKE IT. I think that answers all of your questions, then. OKAY.

I'm like, writing in the middle of the battle because there is LIGHT here and I'm SCARED. And nobody stayed behind to protect me because APPEARANTLY, I don't exist! How rude! So, I'm sitting in Merlinus' tent and he's gone off to hide because he's old and stinky and stupid and not a gentleman at ALL.

Not like I'd reduce myself to trying with HIM, that is! OHEMGEE. He's old, and ugly, and stinky and stupid and NOT A GENTLEMAN.

Okay. I just took a look outside. Kelly's Army looks pretty angry at Kelly. OHMYGOSH. Do they expect me to instruct them when it's DARK AND SCARY? They're all rude and old and stinky and smelly and not gentlemen at all.

SO. THERE.

(Oh, and that Nini-girl is DANCING for everyone now. What an attention-seeking whore!)

HMMMPH. Kelly.

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Day 7

Kelly's Mood!: OMFG CUTE BOY!!1

The Weather!: Sunny.

Where Kelly's Army Is!: Some fortressy place between Thria and Ostia.

OMG. Remember that cute wyvern rider I said we were getting a few days ago? Well, WE GOT HIM. And Rath.

But I don't care about Rath because his horse is smelly and he wears that ugly bandanna. Doesn't he know they're so out of fashion? I think I'll have a talk with him about that bandanna. NOBODY IN KELLY'S ARMY WILL BE UNFASHIONABLE, DAMMIT. COME HELL OR HIGH WATER I. WILL. MAKE. HIM. FASHIONABLE.

Ahem. Yes.

Anyway. Legolas is staring at Heath creepily. I do not approve! I SAW HIM FIRST!! HMMMPH!! BACK OFF, PURPLEHEAD.

Oh, right. I should talk about what a great job I did instructing this battle! Only two people died this time! And I'm so bringing Isadora to aaaalll the battles because she's pretty, like me! Except I'm still prettier, so that's okay!

We had to protect that Nulsis kid this battle. He's so dull. Like his sister. Stupid dancing whore on legs. Um. That is, if whores don't usually have legs…

Anyway… OMG CUTE BOY.

Kelly!!

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Day 8.

Kelly's Mood!: I HAVE SAND. IN. MY. HAIR.

The Weather!: TOO HOT.

Where Kelly's Army Is!: IN A SMELLY STUPID DESERT.

THERE IS SAND IN MY HAIR. WHY IS THERE SAND. IN. MY. HAIR!? Grr! That stupid old ugly smelly man with the beard told us to come here. WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS? JUST BECAUSE HE'S OLD AND SMELLY AND HAS THAT BIG DUMB STICK HE THINKS HE CAN BOSS US AROUND!

HMMPH. I AM SO ANGRY, THAT I'M NOT GOING TO INSTRUCT ANYONE TO DO ANYTHING! IN FACT, I'M GOING TO CHUCK THIS DIARY RIGHT OVER… THERE AFTER I FINISH WRITING THIS.

I have the sneaking suspicion Kelly is trying to kill me.

-- Eliwood.

I have the sneaking suspicion Kelly doesn't know what suspicion means.

-- Fiora.

I am keeping my cape, come hell or high water.

-- Matthew.

My name is not Legolas.

-- Legault.

…come to think of it, he IS looking at me funny.

-- Heath.

Lies. Untruths, I say.

-- Legault.

Kelly's hearing is impaired. I told her she had an ant on her head.

-- Erk.

OHEMGEE. THEY THINK THEY CAN VIOLATE MY DIARY LIKE THIS AFTER I TOSSED IT CARELESSLY AWAY, DO THEY? WELL… WELL… I'LL SHOW THEM! THAT'S IT, I'M MAKING THEM DO EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WAS PLANNING. HAH. BYEBYE, ARMY!

KELLY.

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Day 9!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

Kelly's Mood!: WHAT!?

The Weather!: I DON'T CARE.

Where Kelly's Army Is!: WHY AREN'T THEY DEAD?!

THEY'RE. STILL. ALIVE.

I am so mad. This is not possible. WHY ARE THEY NOT DEAD.

I'm so mad I'm going to wash my hair with Pantene. AGAIN, to make it SHINIER so Fiora gets even MORE jealous of my gorgeous long locks of perfect brown-golden hair that falls in a cascade to my hip much like an elegant waterfall.

My hair is so nice!

I'd so marry myself if I could!

Actually, I should ask that Pants guy if I can marry myself. He looks all… smart-ish and all. Maybe that's just his hair. His hair is very nice for a guy named after trousers. It's all nice and sleek and silvery. I wonder if my gorgeous hair would be… gorgeouser if I had silver hair.

Wait, no. Then they'd be all… 'you're ripping off Pants!'

And that would be bad.

Teehee. I made a funny.

Kelly!