Day 10

Kelly's Current Emotions: Sinking beneath a curtain of woe as the razor sharp blade of the plastic fork slides across my wrists of inevitable death.

The Weather: It is frightful, but the fire is very delightful as it flickers with its blue flames of white passionate fury, and the sparks remind me of my shining toothbrush of eternal misery.

Where Kelly's Army Is: A desolate place void of bananas and fruitful delights as my scars light up with the joy of being delivered.

I'm emo now. See?

Well, I totally don't know where we're going, but, whatever. It's scary and dark and my face is like a bug as it is squashed beneath the mighty fork's steel boots of justice, mercy and doom, doom, and more eternal, unavoidable doom.

Haha. I'm so emo.

Well, misery and death and stuff to you, dear diary,

Kelly.

PS: Avril Lavigne rocks! Oh and I'm not allowed to say stuff anymore. It's got to be 'such' now because it sounds more emo. And such.

day 12!

Kelly's Mood: Fogged up.

The Weather: It makes my contacts fog up.

Where Kelly's Army Is: Stupid foggy place.

Emo's so out of style now. So, I'm back to being hot, gorgeous and totally awesome Kelly the Best Tactician in all of Elibe and the universe, and stuff.

Well, right now we're in some lame foggy place where it's totally foggy. I lost the robber-guy somewhere, but Legolas is still here, so that's okay. I think.

I've got all the torches 'cause I need to write in my diary and stuff. Stupid army people don't look happy about that. Whatever. I'm the tactician, and I rule and stuff.

Big clunky tin-can man joined us. What was his name? Waldo? Pfft. Like I care.

He's bald. And my mirror broke.

Hm…

Kelly.

Day 13

Kelly's Mood: AAAHHHH!

The Weather: ….AHHHHHHH!

Where Kelly's Army Is: OH MY GOD. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.

The lady's trying to poke meeee! Make her go away Bad hair style! Bad! It's awful! Her hair would be nice if she left it longer, but it's all CHOPPY and—OH my GOD!

Smelly said it'll take 11 hours for us to get out of here! I can't wait that long! She's trying to poke me!

…I really like Lisa's hair, though. It's like spun gold!

AND SHE'S TRYING TO STAB ME!

MAYBE IF I GIVE HER MY DIARY SHE'LL LET ME GO.

…OR MAYBE NOT.

KeLlY.

Day 15

Kelly's Mood: I'M COLD.

The Weather: IS COLD.

Where Kelly's Army Is: A VERY COLD PLACE.

I wish I had those spiffy earmuffs I bought last winter, because ARGH IT'S SO COOLLD.

None of the men are gentlemanly enough to offer their freezing, gorgeous tactician their cloak so I yanked Matthew's off of him and went off to sit in a corner.

I think the reason is that I'd be a totally hot winter goddess, you know? I have these gorgeous eyes. They're like sapphires. At least I think they are. No one told me if they were. But I'm always right, so they're like sapphires.

It's so cold, and the stupid flute-guy won't shut up about how it's snowing. UM, HELLO, I KNOW IT'S SNOWING. SHUT UP AND STOP BEING UGLY!

Grr.

Kelly!