NIGHT 17 (its not even day yet gragh ARGH)

Kelly's Mood: Grargh.

The Weather: It's dark.

Where Kelly's Army Is: Castle. Ugly dark castle.

Grrrargh. Eliwood and Linda and Henry woke me up. It's like, 4 am and I totally need my beauty sleep and stuff! I can't do this! I can't find my hair brush and I didn't get time to apply my eyeliner and I look AWFUL AND I CAN'T PICK UP CUTE GUYS LIKE THIS, AND THIS IS DREADFUL AND I DON'T WANT TO BE IN SMELLY CASTLE WHERE IT IS DARK AND NOT EVEN DAWN YET BECAUSE THAT IS STUPID AND NO.

And horsey-woman keeps trying to zap me! As if my hair isn't bad enough! First the ugly stabby woman and now stupid horse-lover's trying to whack me!

There's this big guy who's wearing PURPLE and it's so ugly and he shouldn't wear that colour armour unless he's stupid and named Marcus and really, really old and HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME.

I WANT COFFEE.

Luv, Kelly.

MORNING 17

Kelly's Mood: Yay!

The Weather: Um. I don't know. Purple?

Where Kelly's Army Is: Water Temple.

Okay, so we're in the water temple now. Ugh, my cape's getting wet. Okay, fine. It's not my cape, it's Matthew's. I'm just sort of hoping he hasn't noticed.

Well, he probably has.

Oh, who cares?

We got Jaffar! He's like, totally cooler than the guy in Aladdin! Like, for one, he doesn't have a stupid goatee! He gets points for that too!

But that ugly greenhead girl Nina's like, the apple of his wood or something.

I think we're trying to kill her mother, or something. Pfffsht. They all talk too much. It's not like it's important or anything, Lord… uh… Nergal's just a big smelly pooha and Sonic's got really ugly hair.

I really like her dress, though.

Maybe I could ask to borrow it, or something.

Kelly!

Day 17

Kelly's Mood: It's STUCK.

The Weather: It's STUCK.

Where Kelly's Army Is: Somewhere in the middle of the road and it's STUCK.

Well, great. I got my foot stuck in a tree. No, it's not funny.

NO, IT'S NOT FUNNY.

We're like, on the road, and I get bored and kick a tree and MY FOOT GETS STUCK AND I CAN'T GET IT OUT AND EVERYONE'S LAUGHING AT ME. Especially that stupid Fiora! I knew she hated me! I'm going to kill her!

Well, okay, I'm going to kill her after I get my foot out of the tree.

And Smelly won't stop giggling. It's so not masculine, and it's SO NOT FUNNY.

Hmmmph.

Will get revenge! Especially on the squirrels! They're laughing at me, too!

Kelly, who is not Mark, who is better than Fiora, and is also way cooler than Smelly.

Day 19

Kelly's Mood: Oh whatever.

The Weather: Foggy. As usual.

Where Kelly's Army Is: Foggy place in Bern. Again.

Well, pointy crazy lady's joined us. Not happy about that. Vivian, I think her name was. Pffsht. Such a lame name! If I was her, I'd call herself Vaida or something cool like that.

Okay, so it's foggy. Linda just keeps going the foggy way just because she thinks she's SO COOL just 'cause she has green hair. OH YEAH? Well my hair's totally better! And I look better from every single angle AND I'm a talented writer.

LALALA FINGERS IN EARS CAN'T HEAR YOU. AM BETTER. BETTER BETTER BETTER.

I wish Menthos was Santa. He'd be more fun and give me presents and a pony.

But no-o, he likes Eliwood better than me. Which is you know, kinda creepy. He's like, fifty billion years old. He's even older than Santa!

E-ew. Play-doh-fillia! Or… you know… uh… something…

Right, whatever.

So he gives Eliwood a horse, and NOT ME.

LiFe Is UnFaIr!

KeLlY

Day 20

Kelly's Mood: GAH.

The Weather: I think it's okay. I don't care.

Where Kelly's Army Is: Well, I DON'T KNOW. NOBODY'S TOLD ME YET.

Eliwood, Linda and Henry ran off to some cave and I had to follow them because I'm the sexy, gorgeous loyal tactician. And it's hot. And it's stuffy, and I hate it and people keep trying to POKE me, and they obviously haven't cut their fingernails in a long time!

AND THEN this scary, but totally hot blue haired guy started talking to Smelly and it was SO WEIRD and then we left and this big dragon came and so did Lo—NERGAL and then Smelly killed the dragon with his shiny shiny sword and then it turns out it was that stupid dancer and THEN HE CRIES LIKE A LITTLE GIRL and I'm like, "Ahaha!" 'cause it's just that funny and…

Oh, wait.

Um, yeah. Mourning and stuff.

Hi Eliwood! I love you! You're my favourite person! Poor Nini-girl!

Um, Kelly the Tactician.