What comes from 4 hours of watching various things called 'Serenity'.
Disclaimer: Joss owns them.
AN: Simon likes talking too much.
At first he had thought it would only be for a few days; a few weeks at most. That it was a situation he could control.
But then that idiot Dobson had ruined it all, and suddenly it had all spun so out of control, and he had realized that he hadn't really had a plan in the first place. And it had made so much sense, to accept Mal's offer to stay. He hadn't really given the consequences much thought.
Months later he realized he still had no plan. Time seemed rather meaningless out here in space, and it was with some shock he woke up one day and realized they had been on the ship for five months, and that it was beginning to feel like home.
The thought scared him more than he wanted to admit.
He had considered leaving then, but when he looked at her he realized that that was the last thing she needed. They were safer there than anywhere, and she was happy; at least as happy as she could be out here in the void.
By the time eight months had rolled around he had stopped all considerations of getting off. If he had learned one thing, it was that people like him did not survive long out here. Mal had once told him he had strength, and that that counted for something. But out here even that wasn't good enough, and he was terrified of what would happen to her, if something happened to him.
He accepted his place.
And then it all went to gorram hell.
After the battle, when they had picked up the pieces they could, and buried the ones they could not, he had wondered if Mal would let him stay. He had caused it all, in some way, somehow.
But Mal never said a word, neither apology or offer, and they had both been accepted back into the fold without a second's thought. It was different now, of course, but he soon realized the difference was more than just numbers. He felt accepted, and needed, and wanted, and he realized that he would fight to stay, if Mal ever told him to leave.
A year before he had still been living in his own apartment on Osiris, with friends and family and a job he loved more than anything else in the world.
Now he knew that that had been the problem all along; he had loved something more.
River.