Email Session 4 with the Vampire

Manji Clan Village, Yamanashi Prefecture, Japan…

With the new King of Iron Fist Tournament underway, Kunimitsu dismissed the invitation from the Zaibatsu, seeing it as a sign of subjugation that would undermine the Manji Clan. Some time ago her husband's superior officer and childhood friend, Master Raven, requested that she look after the vampire Eliza who is now roaming the world once again. Hearing about Eliza's story made Kunimitsu very reluctant to keep her in case the vampire wanted to feast on the townspeople. Nevertheless, Kunimitsu made the hard decision to keep Eliza at the Manji Village and make the vampire understand the new world that she is now living in. This time, Kunimitsu ordered Eliza to enter her study room for another lesson about computers.

Servant: "Lady Kunimitsu! Your student is here!"

Kunimitsu: "Send her in here!"

Servant: "Yes my lady!"

Eliza comes inside…

Kunimitsu: "There you are! And I'm pleased to see you actually covered up wearing our traditional garments."

Eliza (Looking down at her burgundy kimono): "I still don't like it."

Kunimitsu: "Hmph. You are in no position to chastise! I will not have you leave this place on your own accord, not without the seal I placed behind your neck."

Eliza (Trying to get a grip on the sticky talisman): "I can't even get it off!"

Kunimitsu: "Only masters like myself and Raven can take it off. You're as good as a slave here!" (Laughing) "Now! It is time for your next lesson!" (Pulls another chair from out of the closet.) "Sit here so that you will understand what I am about to show you!"

Eliza (Complying): "Damn."

Kunimitsu (Watches her with mean eyes under the mask): "Now what I am about to show you is something very private! But! Because you are such a rare creature and you are from a bygone time period, I have to show you how to use an email address. Pay attention to this because if you do not! I will burn your horns! So no sleeping!"

Eliza freaks out…

Kunimitsu: "Listen up!"

Kunimitsu explained the intricacies of using an email address. Eliza paid full attention, but still didn't understand what this all meant.

Eliza: "How come I can't see the people you are sending messages to?"

Kunimitsu: "It's all private. Now you can have a picture, but some people use icons for a picture instead. They are also called avatars."

Eliza (Shaking her head): "This is all confusing. Whatever happened to sending letters through human hands?"

Kunimitsu: "Trust me this is far more efficient than playing a mail carrier. Now, I am going to respond to my people who support me all over the world by answering their questions. I will type the first answer myself, but I will have you to input my answers for all of the other questions. You understand?"

Eliza (Balling up): "Yeah. I guess."

Kunimitsu: "Sit up! This is no time to act like a little brat!"

Eliza (Obeying): "Ok! Ok! Mmmm!"

Kunimitsu: "See! I have quite a few emails to reply back to. Why don't we start here shall we?" (Mouse click)

Email #1

Guest: "Dear Kunimitsu, In case you haven't noticed your former master is back in the tournament? I heard he had perished by your blade over a year ago. What happened?"

Kunimitsu (Types): "Your guess is as good as mine. That bastard can't stay dead for nothing! I shall wait until the tournament has concluded and then I will find a way to finish him off for good."

Email #2

Guest: "Have you caught any more bad guys trying to ask for nudes?"

Kunimitsu (To Eliza): "Now it's your turn. Type what I have to say." (Slides her own chair to the left)

Eliza (Sees the keyboard): "Uh..k."

Kunimitsu: "No I have not. But my rules are the still the same. No begging. No punishments."

Email #3

Guest: "Kunimitsu, this is Trent from the Warlock squad from Scotland. Listen we need some rations for our people who are victims of the war between the Zaibatsu and G Corp. I'm not one to beg, but we ask for the help of the Manji Clan! The war is taking its toll on us! So please help!"

Kunimitsu (Pushes Eliza's chair): "Move, let me answer this one!" (Types) "I will be glad to aid your group Trent. I will send some ninja over to Scotland and have them bring lots of water, food, and clothing immediately! Stay safe!"

Pulls out her cell phone, sends a message to one of her senior ninjas…

Kunimitsu: "Now that's done. Next email Eliza!"

Eliza (Moody): "Yea. Sure."

Email #4

Daifuzu: "Lady Kunimitsu. I don't mean to be nosy but is it true that a vampire is in our village? I heard she is a bloodsucker. Should we stay indoors in case this creature roams our streets?"

Kunimitsu (With Eliza typing): "Yes. It's true elder. However, do not call her a vampire or let the populace know that she is a bloodsucker. I will figure out how to keep the creature's thirst satisfied. In the meantime, you continue your job as a science teacher for the little ones."

Eliza (Laughs): "He's really scared." (Kunimitsu smacks her on the back of the head.): "Aaaagggh! That really hurt!" (Rubbing her head)

Kunimitsu: "That was for laughing at my elder! Keep your silly opinions to yourself! Next email!"

Email #5

Guest: "What is the percentage of the individuals who pass the Manji chunin training course?"

Kunimitsu: "15 percent." (Eliza types)

Email #6

Guest: "There was another wildfire in Northern California yesterday. Several people lost their homes and they need immediate assistance on supplies. Will you send some ninja to help out here or donate money?"

Kunimitsu: "I will donate 100,000 yen to the victims. Also, I will send one of my scouts to assess the damages."

Email #7

Guest: "I hear people say you are great mechanic. If I send you my broken electric generator how much would you charge me? I'm in Japan btw."

Kunimitsu: "The labor will be 800 yen per hour. Take it or leave it." (Eliza types)

Email #8

Guest: "We want another haiku freestyle Kunimitsu!"

Eliza: "What's a freestyle?"

Kunimitsu: "Tell them it's on the way. I'm a little busy at the moment. Type it!"

Email #9

Guest: "Where is your son and what is he doing at the moment Kunimitsu? He's growing up really fast."

Kunimitsu: "My son is doing fine and I have him asleep at the moment. He needs his daily naps, otherwise it interrupts my duties."

Email #10

Guest: "Is it true that the Manji have special abilities beside ninjitsu?"

Kunimitsu: "We Manji pick and train an art that will enhance us in battle & the workforce. So the answer is yes. My specialty is fire breath." (At Eliza): "Speed it up! You're typing is too slow!"

Eliza: "I'm doing the best I can lady!"

Email #11

Guest: "How long have you been married to Raven, the black ninja? I didn't know you know were a couple."

Kunimitsu: "It's only been 4 months."

Email #12

Guest: "Do you always fall asleep with the mask on? It looks like you never take it off."

Kunimitsu: "Are you serious? Of I course I take it off when I sleep."

Email #13

Guest: "I want you to punish me Kunimtsu! I'm a savage who doesn't belong in normal society! I need a queen like you to keep me on a leash! Now come and get me!"

Kunimitsu: "No. I will just kill you and save the world a lot of headaches."

Email #14

Guest: "Does your face look like this?" (It's a picture of a woman without a nose.)

Eliza: "Ewww!"

Kunimitsu (She types this time.): "No that is not me! Do not test me child! I'll have my ninjas blast you with RPGs!"

Eliza: O_O…

Email #15

Guest: "Hey Kunimitsu, remember when I asked you about dieting and exercise? Now I lost 15 pounds ever since I cut down on sodas and drunk water along with eating lots of rice foods. Thanks for the advice."

Kunimitsu: "You are welcome sir." (Eliza back to typing)

Email #16

Guest: "No one has really seen the Manji Village unless you are for training or refuge, how come there are limited pictures of the city? There isn't even a Google Street View."

Kunimitsu: "I have the authority on what is seen and not seen at this place. No random person is coming here unless you will be of some use to us. Otherwise, STAY OUT!"

Email #17

Guest: "Kunimitsu do you plan on having even more children?"

Kunimitsu: "I haven't decided yet. I think one has been a challenge as is. Then there are the other children here in the village to worry about also."

Email #18

Guest: "Are you good with origamis? I'm trying to learn how to do it, but I need a proper teacher. Do you have a tutorial of yourself doing some designs?"

Kunimitsu: "No I'm not into origamis. My husband however is an expert crafter. Maybe he can help."

Email #19

Guest: "What do you think of YouTube Kunimitsu? You should make a channel and do live streams."

Kunimitsu: "It has its usefulness. I find a lot of good recipes for cooking. Live streams? Meh, I'm not sure. Rather not be a YouTube whore." (Eliza typing slow) "Hey speed it up!"

Eliza: "My fingers are getting tired!"

Kunimitsu: "Are you getting smart with me?"

Eliza: "No! They really do hurt!"

Kunimitsu: "Quit being a weakling and type!"

Eliza (Sad): "Hmmmm…"

Email #20

Guest: "Do you shave under your pubes or do you let the hair grow all the way out?"

Kunimitsu: "Don't make me capture and torture you ya little twerp!"

Email #21

Guest: "How much treasure does the Manji steal from people all over the world?"

Kunimitsu: "Last year, the Manji took up to 500,000 items of treasure. Most of them are just souvenirs and we give it to people that really ask for it. We do the same for food and clothing too."

Email #22

Guest: "Is there a trading post or pawn shop near the Manji village? I wanted to find a place that sells old Dreamcast games."

Kunimitsu: "Yes there is, and we have an antique video game section inside. Feel free to browse at your convenience."

Email #23

Guest: "Kunimitsu be honest, are you a feminist?"

Kunimitsu: "I am, but I'm more traditional. Some of these women out here are begging for things to improve but without putting in the work for it. You get it? Respect should be earned not given."

Email #24

Guest: "You cook Kunimitsu? What is your favorite food to make?"

Kunimitsu: "Of course! I make the best spicy rice balls! Also like to eat popper fish, but I get rid of the poison first. It's to die for!"

Email #25

Master Raven: "Kunimitsu. It's me Master Raven. I just defeated Yoshimitsu by using your strategy of the pickle juice bomb. Not only did it work, but his actions made him knock himself out. I plan to return to the village and check up on Eliza in a few hours. I hope you two are getting along. Master Raven out."

Kunimitsu: "Nani? Master Raven beat Yoshimitsu?"

Eliza: "The Raven lady is coming back! Yay!"

A ticked off Kunimitsu uses fire breath and Eliza's horns caught on fire! Eliza panicked! After rolling around, she finally spots the view of Kunimitsu's bathroom inside the bedroom. Eliza ran full speed to turn on the water faucet, spraying her horns with cold water. In tears, Eliza came out, but Kunimitsu kept staring at the computer.

Eliza: "You! You really burned my horns! Wwwhhhyyy!"

Kunimitsu: "Your presence has annoyed me enough! The email lesson is done! Now go to the forest where Raven is for the obstacle training! He will be looking after you by the time dinner is served! I need to start cooking."

Kunimitsu rises up and leaves out of the bedroom. She left a gloomy vampire all by herself, wondering why did she get left by somebody like her as a teacher. Eliza was gonna tell Raven and Master Raven about this mistreatment. No way could she go another day without feeling embarrassed and ashamed.