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After her early dinner with Zaeed, Shepard stopped by the dance club to see who was around. To her surprise, she found Joker and EDI sitting there together at a table, listening to the music.
Approaching the table cautiously, she saw that they were sitting without speaking, both seeming to feel awkward and out of place in the pounding rhythms of the club. "Hey, you two," she called out as she came near. "Funny seeing you here."
"I could say the same, Commander. I am not under the impression that you find dancing relaxing," EDI replied.
Shepard smiled. "Relaxing, yes. Embarrassing … also, yes."
Joker got slowly to his feet, Shepard watching with her usual impulse to offer him help and reminding herself as always that he wouldn't thank her for the suggestion. "I was just going to get another round, Commander. You want anything?"
"Not right now, Joker. I'm hoping to make an early night of it."
He nodded and made his way slowly to the bar, leaving Shepard and EDI alone at the table.
"So …" Shepard took a seat. "You two looked like you were having fun."
EDI took the comment seriously. "Yes. Joker has been smiling and laughing at a significantly higher rate since he and I agreed upon a relationship. I mean, he is happier."
"No question about that," Shepard agreed. Their current awkwardness aside, there had been a confidence in Joker recently that she had never seen before. She looked at up Joker, standing there at the bar, and saw him glance back over his shoulder at EDI with a smile. "I thought you two might make a good match."
"I was not so certain," EDI confessed. "When I first presented this body to Jeff, he seemed aloof."
"Really?" That wasn't exactly how Shepard remembered it. "What did he say?"
"He said I didn't have to conform to some feminine ideal in order to impress him."
"Did he? Good for him."
EDI went on, "I then called him on his bullshit, and we then proceeded to talk normally. After your encouragement, his attitude exhibited signs of change. He said he was reluctant, but you convinced him to 'go for it'."
"I know firsthand how precious love is when you find it," Shepard said softly, missing Thane with a sudden fierceness. "I wouldn't have wanted either of you to miss out on the possibility. I'm glad I could help, at least a little."
"Thank you for your support, Shepard. This is proving to be an illuminating experience."
"What's illuminating?" Joker asked, putting the fresh round of drinks on the table.
"New experiences." Shepard got to her feet, smiling at both of them. "I'll leave you to it. Don't … go too crazy."
"I won't break any bones, Commander, I promise."
"See that you don't, Lieutenant."
She left them there in the club, happy for them, but sad for herself. How she missed Thane. Perhaps it was contacting Kolyat that suddenly made his loss feel so fresh.
Letting herself into the apartment, Shepard breathed a sigh of relief at its quiet and solitude. For tonight, this was what she needed, she told herself. And then she proceeded to check her email, the habit of remaining connected at all times too deeply ingrained in her to give it up easily.
The first mail to come up was from Kolyat, and it was titled "Memorial Service". Shepard's heart contracted within her, tears welling up in her eyes at the idea. Yes, Thane deserved such a thing … but she didn't want to say such a formal good-bye to him. Not yet. Maybe not at all.
She scrolled down to read the email.
Commander –
I was somewhat surprised to receive a comm call from the Council. They would like to hold what humans call a memorial service. Where it is held does not matter so much as who attends. You should be there, as well as those people on the Normandy who knew my father.
I understand at human services, people speak well of the dead. It seems appropriate for you to conduct this part given your relationship with my father. To be honest, I am somewhat nervous I might recall an inappropriate memory in front of everyone.
Thank you. I find this means a great deal to me.
- Kolyat
Before she could think better of it, Shepard rapidly typed out an acceptance and an offer to hold the service in her apartment, tomorrow, if that would suit everyone. Then she sent out a group email to those from the Normandy who had known Thane, inviting them to attend.
Those tasks taken care of, she sat back in the chair and let the silent tears roll down her cheeks.
Her grief was interrupted by a buzz at the front door. Torn between irritation at the interruption and relief at having something else to think about, she got up to answer it, and to her surprise, found Dr. Chakwas waiting downstairs, waving a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy at the camera.
Shepard buzzed her up, waiting in the doorway as the doctor came down the hallway. Dr. Chakwas lifted the bottle. "Remember our agreement to open a bottle every year? It was my turn to buy."
"You know it hasn't been a year yet." She followed the doctor into the apartment, closing the door behind them.
"Yes, well, something tells me we might not have the chance a few months from now, so indulge my impatience."
"When you put it that way." Shepard went into the kitchen, hunting through the cupboards for glasses.
"Admiral Anderson certainly has expensive taste."
"The place doesn't really look like him, does it? I was surprised," Shepard said. She found the glasses and took out two, rinsing them out under the faucet. The place had been cleaned regularly since Anderson had been gone, but still … she'd rather not have dust in her brandy.
Dr. Chakwas had been rummaging in the drawers and came out with the corkscrew, and she poured a generous dollop into each glass.
They toasted each other and drank, the brandy cold at first but warming as it went down. "Oh, that feels better," Shepard said.
She looked up to find the doctor's green eyes resting on her with sympathy. "I saw the email. For what it's worth, I'm glad we're taking the time to remember Thane's time with us … but I imagine you weren't quite ready to take that step."
"No, I wasn't," Shepard agreed, refilling both glasses and draining hers almost immediately. "Do you remember when he first came on board? Half the crew would turn and go the other way if they saw him coming, afraid he would murder them if they just brushed against him."
"I feel that reaction is fairly common on board the Normandy. Do you remember when Wrex first came aboard?"
"And threatened to throw Ashley through a bulkhead? He is colorful."
"And then we picked up Jack, who actually tried to pick up Miranda and throw her through a bulkhead."
"I was so close to having to restrain her … and had no idea how to go about it."
"And then Joker broke in on the comm and asked Jack if she could please not break his ship as it was harder to fix than she was …"
Shepard laughed. "And Jack yelled at him to stop fucking calling her ma'am."
"And Jeff says, 'Jack. Jacqueline. Subject Zero … sorry, but it's 'Ma'am' to me. I'd like to keep my Admiral Winky.'"
"Jack was so startled she forgot to be mad. He probably saved someone's life that day."
"He's saved all our lives many times over."
"I know it," Shepard said. She refilled the glasses again, the warm glow of the brandy beginning to spread through her. "So have you, doctor. We all appreciate it."
Dr. Chakwas nodded. She looked at Shepard thoughtfully. "Do you know, Shepard, I just realized … you've never called me by my first name."
"Well, neither have you."
"And I never will. You are Commander Shepard, hero of the Citadel, conqueror of the Collectors, savior of the galaxy. Using your first name just disrespects everyone you're fighting for, alive or gone."
"You know that makes no sense."
Dr. Chakwas lifted her glass. "Possibly it's the brandy talking. Or you can consider it a lady's prerogative. Come, let's have a toast." She refilled the glasses, lifting hers.
Shepard lifted hers as well, "To a woman I'm proud to call my friend. I'm lucky to have you with me … Karin."
The doctor's green eyes warmed. "And to you, dear friend. It is my great honor to share this journey with you … Commander Shepard. Good fortune to us all."