Chapter 7

Bam's eyes cracked open as voices buzzed around him. He was too lost in his thoughts to determine whether the voices were talking to him or about him. He didn't even care what they were saying, so he turned over onto his side, pulled the blanket up over him, and made an attempt to go to sleep.

"Bam!" Jenn said firmly as she slapped him on the shoulder

"What?"

"I hope you're listening. This is important."

"I am!" He lied

"Mr. Margera," Bam looked up towards the doctor.

"It should be no mystery to you why you collapsed. You're extremely underweight and, like I've all ready told every one else, you're suffering from severe Anorexia. Frankly, I'm surprised that because of your weight you didn't suffer from heart failure."

"Heart failure?" Bam's eyes widened."Are you saying that I should have died?"

"Now relax. Bam, we're transporting you to a special clinic that deals specifically with people suffering from eating disorders. Don't worry you'll have all the privacy you'll need there… you'll of course have to attend the group therapy sessions, as well as one-on-one sessions…"

"In other words it's like rehab." He turned away from the doctor "No thanks. I'll risk the heart failure instead."

"Bam you need to get better. This clinic will be the best thing for you."

"I'd rather not spend my time in a clinic around a bunch of fifteen year old girls."

Just outside in the waiting room, Bam's friends and family had just received the news about Bam's condition. April sat in her chair shaking her head.

"I knew this was going to happen. I knew he was going to make himself sick over this. I said it before; the things he does to himself are a lot worse than what he does to me."

"I don't get it. Anorexia… that's something only teenage girls go through, right?" Asked Ryan in a whisper to the
other guys.

They shrugged their shoulders.

"That's what I thought. Man I had no idea this was going on with Bam."

"Novak, you mean you live with him and you couldn't tell that he was starving himself?" Dico asked with a laugh

"This isn't funny. I mean we've always thought that Bam was the most headstrong one of us… nothing bad could really happen to him, and he could just get up, dust himself off, and ride away unharmed. This time isn't going to be that easy for him."

The other guys were stunned at Raab's speech. But before either of them could give a response, Jenn walked out of Bam's hospital room. Phil and April stood up and went up to her.

"What did you find out?" Phil asked

"Bam's going to be fine… as long as he agrees to go to this clinic that they're trying to send him to."

"A clinic?"

"Yeah. He doesn't want to go because he thinks that it will be like rehab, and people will find out about this. Also because he doesn't want to be the only twenty-six year old guy around all of these fifteen year old girls. I tried convincing him that it's not just teenage girls that develop eating disorders, but he… well he feels like a freak."

The doctor came out of Bam's room and went up to April.

"Mrs. Margera? Your son is asking for you."

"For me? Why?"

"I don't know he just asked to see you." He walked her into the room and left her alone with Bam.

Bam was lying in bed, facing away from the door. He had the blanket wrapped firmly around him.

"Bam? You wanted to see me?"

"Mom what's wrong with me?" He asked with a whimper

"Well Bam, you collapsed because you have been starving yourself. What did you expect?"

"I know why I'm in the hospital! But what's wrong with me? Why do I feel so stupid?" She stood next to the bed and gently rubbed Bam's back.

She couldn't see the tears that were falling from his eyes but she could hear them in his voice.

"Why did it take me going to the hospital to realize that something was wrong with me?"

He paused and sniffed as April came around to the other side of his bed. She wiped tears away from his eyes.

"I think you knew the whole time that something was wrong."

"So, what? You're trying to tell me that I was in denial?" he closed his eyes tight.

"I just wanted to stay in shape after I lost that weight I gained. I started taking diet pills and just wanted to be thin… I didn't realize what it was doing to me." He paused and opened his eyes, then stared at his mom as more tears fell.

"Mom I'm scared. I don't want to go to this clinic, but I don't want to be like this."

"But you know the only way you're going to get better is if you go to the clinic."

"I know! But why does it have to be like this?"

She kissed him on the forehead "I don't like it either sweetie."

"Mom… I… there's something else that I'm scared about."

"What is it?"

"I… I've been keeping something from everyone… Jenn especially. Only one… well two people actually know about this. But I don't know how to say it… I don't know if I want to, or if I should say it."

She sat down in the chair next to the bed and prepared herself for the worst. "What is it Bam? What have you been hiding that you don't want to tell us about?"

"You have to promise me that you won't tell any one…"