She Don't Dream for Me

By: caramelo

I do not own One Tree Hill or anything related to it.

Chapter Four: Looking Like a Crush

Brooke arrived home later that night and fell back on her bed with a groan. She had spent her whole afternoon at the mall without buying a single thing, and she had a killer stomachache. After eating all that food, she had ended up going back to Express to browse afterwards, but she had been so bloated that all of her usual sizes looked like shit on her.

She moaned again. "What was I thinking?" she said. That quarter-pounder was going to make her gain at least ten pounds. She knew she was pregnant, but did she really have to look the part?

Brooke eventually heaved herself up and walked over to her dresser to change into an oversized shirt to sleep in. Despite the fact that it was almost pitch-black, Brooke navigated around safely, avoiding the legs of her nightstand and her Algebra book lying right in the middle of her floor and finding her way back to her bad unharmed. She was used to being alone in the dark. When she was little, Brooke remembered how so many of her friends were scared of the monsters that lurked in the shadows. During sleepovers, they would all call for their parents to come chase them out.

Brooke didn't need any help chasing out the monsters. They knew better than to mess with her.

Brooke smiled at the memory as she shut her eyes. She was a girly-girl but she had always been tough. She could get through this. Who needed Lucas or Peyton or her absentee parents? Brooke certainly didn't.

But all those years of doing everything by herself had gotten awful lonely. She could use someone to help her every now and then. Who could even, maybe, possibly love her. Someone like…

"Nathan," Brooke murmured sleepily. Her eyes shot wide open. Had she actually said that? Where did that come from? Her and Nathan Scott, the idea was certifiably insane. He was so hung up on Haley they were practically married. There was no way she would ever have a shot at him. She didn't even want one. Case closed.

But, maybe, a rebellious voice in her head reasoned, maybe she wanted someone like him. Nathan was hot, determined, and talented, and now that he had cleaned his act up, he was actually kind of sweet. What was there not to like?

"Careful, Brooke," she told herself. "If you don't stop this, it's going to start looking like you have a crush on him or something."

Brooke laughed and turned over on her side. She shook her head slowly as she began drifting off to sleep. As if that would ever happen…

Brooke had a relatively calm sleep that night. When she woke up that morning, she felt more rested than she had in weeks, and for once, she was actually on time. She couldn't put her finger on it, but somehow, no matter how miserable yesterday had been, she felt more at peace with herself and the rest of the world. She must have finally gotten all that jerky guys, shitty life stuff out of her system. She had had it with people like Kyle. Today, she was starting out on a campaign to find some decent boys at her school. Maybe she'd even give Mouth a chance.

She chuckled. Maybe not.

Mouth was cute, but who said nice guys couldn't be hot? Like Nat—there was that name again. Stop it, she admonished herself. She couldn't stop obsessing about one Scott brother and then start with another.

She retouched her lip gloss and threw on a pair of sunglasses on her face. That day, she decided to switch it up a little, forgoing her normal school uniform of tight jeans and and even tighter top in favor of a pink sundress that flattered her legs. It wasn't exactly the right time of the year to wear it, but Brooke hadn't made a reputation for herself by following all the rules. It was hot out today, and she was going to take advantage of it.

Sauntering out to her car, Brooke checked her watch just to make sure that, yes, she was at least ten minutes early. Not long after, encountering unusually light traffic, she pulled into the school parking lot. The burnouts hadn't even lit up yet. One of them glanced up at her, surprised.

"You can't expect me to be late every day," Brooke told him.

The guy shrugged. He peered at her shyly through dreadlocked black hair. "I was sort of hoping you'd just give up and join us," he said.

Brooke smiled. "I'm afraid I'll have to take a rain-check on that," she said, "I've got to get to class."

It was almost worth it to arrive early, she thought, as Mr. Nicholson did a double-take when he saw her. She smirked and plopped into her seat. Nathan looked at her askew. "What?" she asked innocently.

"You're here," Nathan said.

Brooke nodded slowly. "Yeah, unless I've got things seriously mixed up, I'm pretty sure this is my first class."

"You're here early," Nathan said, as if this explained everything. Which it did, but Brooke wouldn't admit that.

"Maybe I like learning," Brooke said.

Nathan snorted. "Yeah sure, and maybe I like my dad. What's the deal, Brooke?"

She shrugged and smiled. "I just had a good morning, that's all."

"Oh," Nathan said. What was that supposed to mean? Did she find out she wasn't pregnant or something? Had she ever really thought that in the first place, or had that guy last night just made everything up? If he did, why? Nathan's eyes traveled down her dress, landing on the way it nipped in at her waist. He swallowed, hard. She certainly didn't look pregnant.

"Are you checking me out, Nathan Scott?" Brooke said, breaking into his thoughts.

"No!" Nathan said in a hurry, tearing his eyes away from Brooke's body and up to her eyes. He blushed, negating his heated denial.

"It's okay," Brooke lowered her voice flirtatiously. "Happens all the time." She turned back around in her seat and began scribbling yesterday's notes out of her book.

Nathan stared at the back of her head for a while after, his eyes wide. Brooke definitely could not be pregnant. Pregnant girls didn't act like she did, did they? Based on his mom's old photo albums, they certainly didn't dress as hot as she did. Wait, did he think Brooke was hot? No way. Well, yes, he did, but he had Haley. He wasn't blind though. Brooke was obviously one of the prettiest girls in school. Everybody knew that. But why should he even be thinking about this when he already had a girlfriend? It was wrong, wasn't it? It was like, psychologically cheating.

Nathan scoffed at himself. So what? It wasn't like he had actually done anything wrong, unless you were judging on a psychological sense, but face it. Who did that? Still, it sort of bothered him just how much he was noticing, and liking, the bare expanse of Brooke's tanned legs in front of him. Her dress only reached down to mid-thigh, and when she sat down it inched up even further. Right now, it was at the point of being unbearably teasing. Nathan, along with half the other guys in the room, couldn't tear his eyes away.

"Hey, baby," Haley came out of nowhere and sat on his desk.

"Haley!" Nathan exclaimed. He quickly averted his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

Haley looked confused. "Just coming to say hi," she said. "I missed you last night. As much as I've complained about you sneaking in, I actually got kind of lonely without anyone to share my room with."

"Nobody had any parties scheduled last night," Nathan said. "It was nice to finally be able to crash at my own place."

"Oh," Haley said. She fell silent for a moment before brightening up, "Well, plans for our party are going great. Just like we said, small but still enough to have some fun."

"Great," Nathan said. He forced a smile. For some reason, he felt edgy, almost guilty around her. He couldn't stand it. "Haley, the bell's going to ring any second now."

Haley cocked her head to the side. "Are you trying to get me to go away?" she asked. Her voice sounded slightly hurt.

"No, it's nothing like that," Nathan said hurriedly. "I just don't want you to get in trouble."

"Mr. Nicholson won't care," she insisted.

"Haley…" Nathan said firmly.

"Okay," she said uncertainly. She hopped off his desk. "Let me know when you decide to stop being so weird."

"It's just your good influence," Nathan called after her with a weak smile.

She glanced back at him. From the looks of it, she seemed satisfied enough with that explanation. "I'm glad some of it's finally starting to have an effect on you."

"What was that about?" Brooke murmured quietly as she continued to copy down her notes, not even glancing back at him.

"What was what about?" Nathan asked irritably.

"You just totally brushed tutor-girl off." Before he had the chance to deny, she continued. "Don't tell me it's not true. I know a brush-off when I see it."

"And you were listening in on a conversation that was none of your business," Nathan concluded.

"It's a useful habit," Brooke said. "You should pick it up."

"I'm not nosy," he told her.

"It never hurts to pay attention," Brooke shrugged. "Look what happened to me when I wasn't." Nathan frowned. He hated it when Brooke had a point, especially one that proved him wrong. Luckily, the bell rang, signaling the beginning of class, and saved him from admitting she was right.

Unluckily, she knew how much he appreciated the bell at that moment too. "Good timing for you," she whispered as Mr. Nicholson began to speak. Nathan made a face at her. Of course, it was useless since she wasn't even looking at him.

"Today, class, I've decided we're going to work on essays. I'd like you all to write a report on the most important person in your life due by Friday of next week…"

The rest of class was devoted to planning and discussing ideas for the essay. Brooke couldn't wait to get the hell out of there when the bell rang. She had exactly two words written on her paper: Brooke Davis.

Honestly, where did teachers get these stupid ideas from? Who was the most important person in Brooke's life? She was, of course. What did they expect? Some mushy garbage about parents or a boyfriend? Brooke didn't have any of those. Not really.

But, for now, she was trying to be content with what she did have, no matter how shallow they were. She had money, she had a killer fashion sense, and she had the admiration of almost everyone else at this school. People would fall over themselves to talk to Brooke Davis. She was the closest thing they had to royalty. In the halls, crowds would literally separate to make way for her.

Except for one person.

"Peyton," Brooke said coldly as she stopped before her former best friend.

"Brooke," Peyton replied, just as cold.

Brooke glared at her. "You're in my way. Move."

"Gladly," Peyton sniped back sarcastically. "Anything for Queen Brooke."

"Watch it," Brooke warned her.

"Or what? You'll send a castle guard after me?" Peyton shook her head. "God, Brooke. Get over yourself."

She narrowed her eyes. "Maybe I will once you get out from under my ex-boyfriend."

"How many times do I have to tell you we're not together? We're trying this thing called being friends. You know, like you and I aren't anymore."

"So then why are we still talking?" Brooke snapped, pushing past Peyton to continue down the hall.

The rest of the morning passed by fairly quickly. Brooke attended Algebra in the sense that she actually went, but her head was somewhere else entirely. Whenever the teacher called on her, she didn't even bother to try and pick up on what had been asked. She was perfectly content to just give the answer "four" every single time. It was an improvement though, in the eyes of most. At least she was there.

At lunch, she made her way out to the courtyard where she spotted one of the people she wanted to see most. Haley James. Brooke immediately set off towards her. This would be where she pulled Haley aside for a serious heart-to-heart, and Haley would be understanding and supportive, and maybe Brooke would have a real friend for once that would be sure not to hurt her. It would be Tigger and Tutor-girl against the big, bad world and all the jerky, obnoxious guys that came with it. Brooke's face lit up. It might be nice.

(1) Haley was already talking to two other girls when Brooke walked up behind her. "Oh, hey, our lips are sealed," a girl was saying, Brooke vaguely recognized her from her Chemistry class. Her name was Megan. "Thanks for the invite, Haley," she continued. "You rock."

"Sure," Haley smiled back. Megan and her friend giggled at each other and Haley one more time before walking off, chattering excitedly.

Brooke's eyes gleamed. She knew plans for a party when she heard them. She grinned in anticipation. It had been a while since she had been to a good party. It would also be a killer chance for her and Haley to talk and hang out some more and develop some trust before Brooke spilled her guts.

"Hi, friend," she said perkily as she bounced into Haley's view.

"Hey, Brooke," the other girl responded.

"So, when's the party?" Brooke asked.

Haley's face fell. That was odd. Brooke felt a twinge of apprehension. "Well, it's Saturday night, but-"

Brooke suddenly realized what Haley must have been so worried about. Before leaving, the other two girls swore secrecy. This was a Haley James party after all. She was obviously trying to keep it small. "Don't worry," Brooke reassured her, "I'm not going to tip off the paparazzi."

Haley bit her lip. "Oh, no, I'm not worried. We're just trying to keep it small. So." She cut off abruptly, averting her eyes.

Reality hit Brooke like a ton of bricks. Haley wasn't worried that Brooke was going to paste fliers around the school. Haley was worried about Brooke, Peyton, and Lucas being in the same room. And if her instincts were right, one of the two had requested that Brooke didn't make an appearance. "Peyton said not to invite me," Brooke said. Her voice was touched with anger and disappointment.

"No, she didn't," Haley said weakly, "not exactly."

Disappointment gave way to fury. Fury that Lucas and Peyton still got whatever the hell they wanted, while Brooke was being deprived of everything. Even Haley, the girl that was supposed to be on her side, was swept up in the two blondies' charm. "All right," Brooke said bitterly. "You know, have your little party, and play your naked twister, and-"

Haley sighed. "Brooke, it's really just going to be a couple of friends."

Brooke didn't know whether to laugh in Haley's face or cry. "Right," she hissed, spiteful, "but I'm not one of them. Whatever." She turned abruptly and headed back inside. What had she been thinking, hoping that Haley would be her friend? Haley was loyal to Lucas; she always would be. (end 1)

For the first time, Brooke accepted the fact that she was really, truly in this alone.

She stopped in her tracks feeling a wave of sadness wash over her. She wallowed in self-pity for a few moments before picking up her pace again as a steely determination flared inside, forcing out the sadness.

Who cared if she was alone?

Brooke Davis had chased out the monsters alone before. She could do it again.

(1)….(end 1) Scene taken from One Tree Hill episode "What Is And Never Should Be"

Author's Note: Chapter four.

until next time…

caramelo