As long as you are by my side

Chapter Text

Sesshomaru did not respond when I said his name, and all I knew to do was stand up. I felt like the walls were closing in around me, and I wanted to run away from this situation. I normally always had something to say, I often didn't know when to stop talking, but not now. What could I say to the one I loved catching me in the arms of someone else, I knew it must have hurt him deeply. I didn't understand it myself. After a few long and torturous moments of Sesshomaru and I staring at each other in silence, Kohaku stood up breaking our trance. He swiftly picked up his weapon, and for a moment I became frightened that he was going to try and start a fight. Instead though, he just turned to me with the same peaceful look on his face he had earlier.

"Rin we will meet again, please be safe wherever it is you're going."

I said nothing in response, I just stood frozen staring at Lord Sesshomaru once more, wondering what was going through his head, and his heart. Kohaku didn't pressure me to say anything back, he just began to walk in Lord Sesshomaru's direction. Kohaku stopped once they were shoulder to shoulder, and facing opposite directions.

Lord Sesshomaru finally spoke for the first time since he appeared before us, sending shivers down my spine. "Kohaku, the line I spoke of before has been crossed."

Kohaku smirked, almost cockily throwing his weapon over his shoulder. "Understood, but we can handle that another time. It looks like you have bigger things to deal with." Shesshomaru's eyes averted back to me, and just like that Kohaku was gone. It seemed that as soon as Lord Sesshomaru and I were alone, the sun and warmth disappeared. The air felt cold now, and the clouds covered the sun. I couldn't help but think it was my fault that there was such sorrow surrounding us.Shesshomaru began walking towards me so elegantly, almost as if he was floating on a cloud. He didn't even look the slightest bit angry, and that worried me more than anything. He finally stood in front of me, towering over me with blank eyes.

"Rin, would you like to stay a few days longer to be with the old woman?" His question was sincere, and I had a feeling he would have asked me this regardless of the fact that he arrived upon me and Kohaku embracing. Although I was surprised that with everything that just happened, he chose to bring Kaede up without addressing the issue at hand.

"Uhm, no we said our goodbyes she knows I'll be going, she wants me to." Truthfully I had wished that I could stay with her until she passed on, but she begged me to go. She said she didn't want my last memories of her to be of her dying. I told her I'd honor her wishes, no matter how it pained me to do so.

"Is that what you want?" He dryly asked. I knew what he was really asking was if I wanted to stay here with Kohaku, and that hurt me.

"Yes, my things are already packed at my hut. I'm ready to go." My voice was shaky, and I was so nervous, and scared that I had finally pushed him away with my actions.

"Very well. I'll get A-un, and we can be on our way."

He tried to turn to walk away, but I grabbed his hand, keeping him facing my direction. "Sesshomaru, we must talk about this. Please." I cried, my voice cracking. He pulled his hand away from mine, and I tried not to let it hurt me, but it did so deeply. Lord Sesshomaru was a prideful man, and I had just taken his pride, and chopped it up in little pieces.

"Rin If I ever catch him embracing you in such a way again, I will kill him. There's nothing more we need to discuss." His look was cold and I wanted his face to return to the gentle man I knew who would risk his life to keep me safe.

"Lord Sesshomaru it wasn't his fault, I embraced him." I sheepishly admitted. I saw a flicker of pain cross his eyes, but he quickly recovered.

"I know that Rin. I understand that I caused this to happen, if I hadn't denied my feelings for you that night in your hut this wouldn't be happening." He paused giving me a brief look of sympathy. "Nevertheless, I did let it happen Rin, and I have to live with it." He seemed sad, and I hated myself for being the cause of his sorrow.

"My Lord you must understand you are the only one for me, I do not wish to be without you. I choose you, I will always choose you. What you saw was not what It appears to be, nothing more happened than what you saw. Please believe me, Kohaku and I were just saying goodbye."

Ignoring my statement, Sesshomaru looked up to the sky. "Rin, Would you like to go to the Western Lands?"

I looked down at the ground wanting to crawl into a dark hole. "What about you my Lord, would you even want me to come now?"

He grabbed my hand, causing my heart to flutter. "Yes I do. I have a surprise for you, this is why I had to leave you here."

I looked back up at him, letting a small smile form on my face again. "The Western Lands, that's where your father ruled isn't it?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yes, Rin."

"How long will we be there my Lord?" I smiled even brighter hoping that this meant I was forgiven.

Lord Sesshomaru paused, calmly thinking about his answer. "Indefinitely Rin, if that is what you want."

I wrapped both of my arms around him, laying my head on his chest. "I want to be wherever you are, it does not matter where we go."

Lord Sesshomaru put one hand on the small of my back, letting me know that everything truly was going to be okay. "Rin if you want to come back here, I won't stop you from visiting, if that is your will. I won't share you with the boy though, you must know this. I will kill him Rin, he has challenged me, and defied my warnings."

I nuzzled my head deeper into his chest, "My Lord I beg you to forget about this, please it wasn't my intention to cause any issues between you two. I'm not requesting that your share me, you will never have to do that."

He held onto me tighter. "Rin do you remember when you were young, and you were killed in the underworld?"

I felt cold thinking about the incident, "Yes, how could I forget it, I almost lost my life. Why do you bring this up now though?"

He let go of me, instinctively bringing his hand to his Tenseiga. "No Rin, you did lose your life in the underworld. You have died twice, being resurrected once by my Tenseiga, and once by my mothers Stone."

"Lord Sesshomaru, why do you bring this up?"

"I bring it up because I want you to understand that I have held your lifeless body in my arms, and I know what it feels like to lose you. It's a terrible and gut wrenching feeling, one that I'll never forget. I promised after that incident there would never be a 3rd time. My Tenseiga cannot revive you again, so the only thing I can do is protect you the best way I know how. It's not all about jealousy, I'm not trying to control you. I'm simply trying to make sure that I never have to lose the only thing that I have to live for."

I placed my hand over his hand that was holding onto Tenseiga, and he closed his eyes for a brief moment before locking eyes with me again. "How do you presume to protect me from everything my Lord, it isn't possible, and that's okay. You can't put such a burden on your shoulders."

Lord Sesshomaru removed his hand from Tenseiga. "You may be right Rin, I hold the sword that saves lives in my hands, but it is no use to you anymore. There are other ways to ensure you're taken care of though. I have a castle of sorts that I inherited from my father, he prepared it especially for lady Izaoi, before she died of course."

When he said Lady Izaoi's name, a flicker of annoyance crossed his face."That was Inuyasha's mother, wasn't it?"

"Yes, It was. I never wanted the castle, I wanted to rule an empire that I created myself. Truthfully I didn't want to live somewhere that was intended for Inuyasha, and his human mother to live in." Lord Sesshomaru's look of annoyance turned into one of determination. "I have changed my mind though, the palace is surrounded by walls, and is flooded with servants and security. My mother has looked after it all of these years, in case I were to change my mind. You could bathe everyday, and sleep in a warm bed protected from all outsiders."

I looked at him feeling more love than I ever had before, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I was becoming a burden. "Lord Sesshomaru, you know that I do not care for such things, I just want to be where you are. I hate how much trouble I cause you, if I was a demon woman you would never have to go to these lengths."

Lord Sesshomaru's face turned into a scowl. "Ridiculous. Even If I had the power to change you I would never, I don't want anything or anyone else. Never apologize for being what you are, because what you are, is the only thing or person I've ever loved." Lord Sesshomaru grabbed my hand, his cold skin sending shivers down my spine. "I've spent the entire week preparing staff for our arrival, this is why I had to leave you here for the week. We can live there in peace, and I will only fight when it is to protect you."

"Lord Sesshomaru by moving to the western lands and taking over your fathers home, doesn't this mean you will be ruling over those lands?"

Lord Sesshomaru looked off into the distance, his mind seeming to wander off to a far away place. "The people there have been neglected ever since my fathers death, they live in constant fear of demon attacks, and they can barley scrape up enough food to survive. I do not presume that they will be happy about a demon who abandoned them coming to suddenly rule over them, so I am not sure how this will go. I know that I denounced my rightful place as a Great Dog Demon, and ruler of the Western Lands long ago, but it still is my right as my fathers heir."

I gave him a reassuring smile, happy that this didn't just seem to be all about me. "It is okay to right your wrongs, my Lord. So your father protected humans, I'm surprised you'd take on that job. Is one human girl not enough?" I playfully teased.

"It's not so much about protecting humans, as it is about keeping peace between humans and demons in the land that I will reside over. Other rulers like Kirinmaru, simply just rule over the lands making a profit where they can. He is not fond of humans."

"Who is that?" I inquired.A dark look came over Lord Sesshomaru's eyes.

"No one for you to worry about, he is the ruler of the Eastern Lands. I want you to stay far away from him, should we ever cross paths."

I nodded, mentally taking a note to bring this person up again at a different time. "So this is all simply just so that I will be safe?"

"It is, but it's also more than that. Kohaku accused me of not being able to give you the life you crave, and I want to be able to do that. Should you want to live in a home and raise children, I want to give that to you, and this is the best way I know how."My heart fluttered at his words, and I truly knew now that he put me before himself. I went to lean in to kiss him, but in that moment A-Un and Jaken appeared with my things.

"Rin!" Jaken yelled. "You better help us carry some of this, you packed too much for such a long journey!"

Lord Sesshomaru and I broke our embrace, and I began waving at them. I was happy to see them, but worried because I knew I had not convinced Lord Sesshomaru to cease his grudge against Kohaku. No matter how far we traveled, I knew we would cross paths again one day. "Hello Master Jaken! Hello A-Un!" A-Un bowed his head, signaling for me to hop on. I jumped on, lovingly rubbing his back. "I missed you A-Un."

Lord Sesshomaru stood beside me. "Are you ready Rin?"

I smiled. "I am ready, as long as you are by my side."