She Don't Dream for Me
By: caramelo
I do not own One Tree Hill or anything related to it.
Chapter Ten: Something You Do
Lucas dropped the fork he had been holding, and it fell with a clatter onto his mostly empty plate of French toast. It was the only sound at their table for a few minutes. Brooke shifted anxiously.
He never did like the crusts very much, Brooke thought absently as she studied his plate, looking anywhere but him.
Lucas sputtered once or twice, opening and closing his mouth, trying to find the words he needed.
"You're what?" he finally managed to get out.
Brooke swallowed, hard. "I-I'm getting an abortion, Luke," she said, her tone considerably less firm.
"But…" Lucas protested. "You…you can't."
Shaking her head, Brooke opened her mouth again. She had to make him understand. "Luke…"
"No, no," Lucas said, his voice steadily rising, "I'm not hearing this."
Brooke winced. This was not going as well as she had hoped.
"I can't have this baby, Lucas," she reasoned.
"Why not?" Lucas said harshly. He hit his hand against the table and clenched his teeth. His head began to shake back and forth before she could explain. "You know what?" he cut her off. "Just…no. This isn't something we should be talking about here. Let's wait till we get back to your house or my house or something."
Brooke nodded weakly as Lucas called for the check. She reached into her pocket to pull out the money for her breakfast, but he stopped her. She stared at him, confused.
He had a nasty grimace on his face. "We decided that I'm paying, remember?" he said coldly.
Brooke bristled and opened her mouth to speak when the waitress came to pick up the bill, too soon for Brooke to protest and lay out her own money. Lucas smirked and walked out of the booth without another word, forcing her to scamper after. Her jaw clenched in annoyance. Only he was capable of keeping his promises to a fault.
He was already waiting in his stalled car when Brooke climbed in. Silently, he pulled out of the Denny's parking lot. His face was hard and cold, seemingly etched out of stone. Brooke was sure her expression mirrored his. That whole restaurant debacle had seriously pissed her off.
It turned out Lucas couldn't even wait till they had reached either of their houses before he started tearing into her. "Abortion," he said, his voice cool, "You've thought this through for days and days, maybe even weeks, and abortion was the best you could come up with?"
"Yes," Brooke said evenly, her tone matching his, "It's what's best for me."
"What about me, Brooke?" Lucas demanded, and he took his eyes off the road to glare at her. "This isn't your baby; it's our baby."
"But I'm the one that has to go through a nine month pregnancy," she said. "I'll be the one who has to be with it at night when it's up screaming and crying, and it'll be my reputation that's ruined."
"That's what you're worried about?" Lucas cried disbelievingly. "Your reputation?" He shook his head and paused for a moment before revving up again. "Well, I can't do anything about that," he retorted, "but as far as I'm concerned, you don't even have to see this baby once it's born. We can work out a Nikki-Jake relationship."
"So I can be the wicked, bitter bitch mommy that has to watch Peyton raise my kid?" Brooke scoffed. "I don't think so."
"Could you put aside your own stupid insecurities and social appearances thing to think about this for one second?" Lucas snapped. "I didn't say you couldn't be in the baby's life. I want you to be in the baby's life. But most importantly, I want this baby to have a life. And I'll do anything for that to happen, even if it means being a full-time Dad."
Brooke sighed and turned a steely gaze towards the window. "I have thought about this, Lucas. And, however stupid you think my reasons might be, I have them, and I already decided that I can't have this baby."
"Can't or won't?" Lucas sneered.
"Both," Brooke said. "But mostly can't. Do you know what will happen to me if I go through with this? Do you?"
"You'll get kicked off the A-list?" Lucas asked sarcastically.
She had never glared at him with such an intensity, not even when she had gone to him to tell him she knew about him and Peyton cheating. She felt a streak of vindication when he shrunk back a little. "If that were all I cared about," she said, her voice surprisingly calm, "then I'd be a pretty shallow person." Her tone grew stronger. "But, no, that's not it. If I carry this baby for nine months, I don't care how clueless my parents are, they will find out about this. And when they find out about this, I'll be kicked out so fast my ass won't even be able to feel it. I'm sure it'll be good for the baby, being raised in the streets and all."
Lucas looked somewhat abashed but remained determined. "You could move in with us," he said stubbornly.
"Right," Brooke scoffed, "that would be the only logical thing to do, since your mom barely makes enough to support the two of you, let alone two more."
Lucas remained silent for a few moments, a calculating expression on his face as he studied her. "You really have thought about this, haven't you?" he said softly. Brooke nodded her head and looked away. A honk snapped them both into reality.
"Jesus, Luke!" Brooke shrieked as an oncoming truck barreled towards them. Somehow they had crossed over into the other lane. "Watch where you're going!"
Lucas swore and jerked his wheel back over to the right, pulling them across both lanes and straight into a ditch. Brooke felt her body being thrown forward, and she instinctively wrapped her arms around her stomach, while out of the corner of her eye she saw Lucas's head hit the dashboard. She winced, and all of the sudden, it was over, and the car was still.
"Shit," Lucas said, letting out a long breath. "Are you okay, Brooke?"
"Pretty sure I am," Brooke squeaked, her own breath still coming in fast, short gasps. "Don't think I'll be riding in a car anytime soon again though. Lately, they haven't been going so good for me."
Lucas laughed weakly with relief and settled back against his seat. He looked sort of dazed. Brooke watched worriedly as he put a hand to his head.
"Are you all right?" she asked. Something was strange about him. He hadn't stopped laughing yet.
"Yeah," Lucas chuckled. "Just too much. All at once. Just sort of…dizzy…"
Brooke's eyes widened. His answer hadn't calmed her at all. "Lucas," she demanded, "What's wrong with you?"
"Sort of dizzy," Lucas said vaguely. The laughter that had worried Brooke so much had stopped, but still, she wasn't soothed.
"You already said that," Brooke said slowly. "Is there anything else?"
"Dizzy," Lucas repeated. "My head hurts."
"Goddamn it," Brooke cursed. She had been a cheerleader long enough to see a number of basketball players carted off the court with concussions. Lucas was showing some definite signs.
Lucas made a face. "Jesus," he said as he clutched his head tightly. "Why does it hurt so much?"
Leaning towards him, Brooke slapped him across the cheek lightly for him to pay attention. "Lucas, I'm going to need you to switch places with me," she instructed, addressing him in the same tone she might have used if he had been a three year old. She had no idea if she was doing the right thing or not.
Luckily, Lucas was pretty obedient, even when he had no idea what was going on, and he hoisted himself unsteadily behind her as she crawled over to the seat he was vacating. She situated herself just in time to steady him as he fell back against her seat.
Too much, her mind echoed Lucas's words as she started up the car again and shifted the gear into reverse. Too much too much too much too much too much.
The car rocked back and forth as she tried to force it out of the ditch. For a second, it looked like it would actually work, when the car gave a sudden jerk and fell sharply back into place.
"Oh man," Brooke groaned. She looked helplessly over at Lucas, who was clutching his head, his eyes squeezed shut. "What am I supposed to do?"
A cell phone glinted tantalizingly near the gearshift. She glanced quickly over at a still preoccupied Lucas and snatched it. "Sorry, buddy," she shrugged, unconcerned, "Don't know what your minute plan is, but I'm gonna need this."
Brooke dialed the first number that came to mind, willing for the person to pick up quickly. Lucas was concussed, she was nervous, and despite how unimportant it was, she had a suspicion that Lucas didn't have actually have a spectacular amount of minutes to use. She had rarely seen him use the phone, and he never lent it to anybody.
"Hello?" a voice picked up on the other end.
Brooke was more than relieved as she heard him. "Nathan," she sighed. "Thank god."
"Brooke?" he asked curiously. "What's up?"
"I kind of need your help," she explained quickly. "Something happened."
There was an edge to Nathan's tone as he replied. "Sure," he said, trying to sound neutral. "What's wrong?"
"Lucas and I," Brooke thought she heard some type of dissatisfied grunt on Nathan's end, but she couldn't be sure. "We're sort of in a bind. There was almost an accident, and the car ran into a ditch, and I think Lucas might have a concussion and…"
"Where are you?" Nathan asked sharply.
"That little country road near Denny's," Brooke said, trying to think of the name. "God, um, Miller, I think."
"Okay," Nathan said, "I'll be right there." Before Brooke could thank him, he hung up.
Brooke hung up as well and looked over at Lucas again with a sigh. He was pale and shaky, and the pupils of his eyes were oddly enlarged. She knew concussions weren't terribly serious or anything, but she couldn't help but worry. She fingered a lock of his stick-straight hair. "Why do I have to care about you so much?" Even after all the fights, the cheating, the everything, she couldn't stop herself.
Surprisingly, Lucas answered. "It's just something you do," he murmured. "Something I do too."
A soft, sad smile crossed her face. "You don't know what you're saying."
Lucas remained silent. He shut his eyes again and leaned his forehead against the window.
It was fast, just a flash, but for a moment, Brooke felt her heart give that familiar pull. "Jesus," she said under her breath. He always did this to her. Always. And she hated him for it. It would be so much easier if she could just stay pissed at him. It would be so much safer.
An approaching car managed to erase Brooke's disturbed thoughts from her mind. She looked in her rearview mirror and was immediately comforted at the sight of Nathan pulling up beside her. His car came to screeching halt, and he jumped out. Brooke eased herself out of Lucas's car too.
"Are you okay?" Nathan demanded as he hurried down the ditch to them.
"Fine," she assured him, enveloping him in a hug as he reached her. Nathan pulled away slightly to fix a serious, searching gaze on her, and she nodded to enforce her point. "I promise," she said. She gave him one last squeeze and dropped her arms. He did the same. "I just want to get Lucas checked out," she continued. "He seems to have it pretty bad."
Nathan peered through the window to see Lucas nodding off against the window, his fists clenched tightly. "Definitely a good idea," he agreed and walked over to Lucas's side of the car. He knocked on the window until he was sure Lucas was wide awake and opened the door, hauling Lucas out by the arm. Lucas stumbled back a step and Nathan was unprepared for the sudden weight, but Brooke raced over to help. With Lucas's arms slung around Brooke and Nathan's shoulders, the trio made their way up to the top of the ditch to Nathan's car.
"Geez, Luke," Brooke panted as they neared the top. "I thought you worked out."
Lucas gave some groggy, unintelligible answer, and Brooke and Nathan shot each other concerned glances. Brooke must have let more of her worry shine through than she usually allowed, because Nathan began reassuring her. "I've seen guys like this a bunch," he said, opening the door to his car, "He should be fine after we get him to the doctor. It'll all be okay."
"I know that," Brooke said sharply as she helped ease Lucas into the backseat. She slipped in front of Nathan and leaned down to secure Lucas's seatbelt. She tried her best to hold her breath as she hovered just inches above him to prevent the ragged gasps of air she knew would escape if she dared to breathe, but she couldn't resist, and just before she pulled away, she took a long inhale.
An image suddenly played in her mind. It was if she was seeing herself, running, distracted, and Nathan coming from the opposite direction, preoccupied as well. Neither looking up, it was only a matter of seconds before they collided, and Brooke collapsed against his chest.
Brooke slowly opened her eyes, smiling. Lucas's scent was nearly identical to Nathan's.
"You about done?" Nathan asked impatiently behind her. His voice was touched with irritation. But from what? Jealousy?
Hah, Brooke thought wryly, You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? Somewhat reluctantly, she pulled herself away, and turned. She let out a small "oh!" of surprise when she spun around to find Nathan only inches away.
Nathan swallowed, hard. He had been planning on hurrying over to the driver's side of the car as Brooke had begun to straighten back up again, but for some reason, he had been rooted into place. "So I guess we should go," he said uncomfortably. His feet felt like they had been super-glued to the asphalt.
"Yeah," Brooke said, uneasy as well. "I guess we should." When Nathan showed no signs of moving, she carefully slid away from him, their eyes trained on one another the whole time, and she got into the car. Nathan followed suit.
"Should we be going a little faster?" Brooke fretted as Nathan drove in the direction of the hospital, going at least ten miles over the speed limit.
"Not unless you want to make a hobby out of being in car crashes," Nathan retorted.
Brooke sighed and leaned back against her seat. "I just don't want anything to happen. I feel so guilty."
Nathan looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "You have nothing to feel guilty about," he assured her. "Why would you even say that?"
"I told Lucas about my decision about this pregnancy," Brooke said, "He wasn't too happy about it. In fact, he kind of freaked."
"I can see where he's coming from," Nathan said, "but I still don't think the wreck was your fault."
Brooke shrugged listlessly. Let him think what he wanted to think. She knew the truth, and that was all that mattered. A shorted period of silence ensued.
"So, um," Nathan began to restore the conversation and his sanity in the car. He had lost control of his sanity so many times, he was afraid it would run away for good soon. "What did you decide about the baby anyway?"
Brooke winced at the term baby. "I'd really rather not talk about that right now," she pleaded. "Maybe later."
Nathan just nodded. "Got it. No baby talk. Okay, then, we can talk about…"
"Nathan? Brooke?" a groggy voice called from the backseat. "What's going on?"
"Luke!" Brooke cried in relief. She wasted no time in yanking out her seatbelt and climbing into the back to sit with him. "Are you feeling better?"
"My head hurts," Lucas admitted, "and I'm a little fuzzy on what's been going on for the last…" he squinted at the clock, "…half hour."
"Poor guy," Brooke said sympathetically.
Nathan rolled his eyes in the front. Last he had heard, Brooke was being an icy bitch towards desperate Lucas, and now all of the sudden she was all over him? When had this happened? He glanced back at them in the rearview mirror. They were huddled close, murmuring quietly. Disgusted, he tore his gaze away. It made him sick to watch them. He wasn't exactly sure why.
Yeah, you do, a small voice sneered in the back of his mind. You don't like watching her with another guy, especially Lucas.
But that didn't make sense. Why would it matter to him whether Brooke was with other guys?
Jealousy…
He had Haley. There was no reason to be jealous. He loved Haley.
Didn't he?
Meanwhile, in the backseat, Brooke and Lucas were falling into a tired, old habit. They had already covered the basics. Brooke had explained to Lucas about the concussion and where they were going, and surprisingly, Lucas had revealed that he remembered what Brooke had told him and most of their argument up until their near crash with the truck. Now, they were back to discussing the baby, although they seemed to disagree on everything. "Don't preach, Luke," Brooke warned softly. "I know what abortion involves."
"I just wish there were another way," Lucas insisted.
"There's not," Brooke said. "Trust me, I've thought of everything."
Lucas sighed. "But abortion is just so…"
"You said you'd support me no matter what I did last time," Brooke pointed out quickly.
"I thought you'd keep the baby then," Lucas confessed. "Even if it was only to make sure that Peyton and I stayed apart."
Brooke turned pale with fury. "I can't believe you just said that."
Lucas realized his mistake and was instantly apologetic. "That didn't come out the way I meant it at all," he tried to explain.
"There aren't too many ways you can mean something like that," Brooke said, her tone even.
"It's been a long morning, Brooke."
Lucas was trying to sidestep yet another argument, and it was painfully obvious to both of them. He was never that good at covering his tracks. Brooke gave one last annoyed huff, but let the remark slide, just this once.
"That was a pretty shitty thing to say," Brooke replied coolly. "And you're lucky I'm still talking to you."
"Very," Lucas nodded.
"Don't try to humor me," Brooke said. Her voice was warning, letting him know that this was not the right time to push his luck.
Lucas was about to respond when Nathan cut him off. "Okay, everybody out," he said tightly, bringing the car to a halt, "Time to see if Luke permanently damaged his head."
Brooke raised a brow at his tone. What was bothering him? Again, he almost sounded…but no, he couldn't be. They had both agreed to put everything behind them just this morning. Not that he had had much to put behind because it had simply been a heat-of-the-moment fluke thing for him, but she had been at least trying. Her eyes caught his, and she felt something flip inside of her. She attempted to change her expression to one of haughtiness and forced herself to look away. It was hard to admit that, if she let herself, she could feel the same way about him as she did with Lucas.
Almost falling for two guys who don't want you in the same day, Brooke berated herself. Geez, Davis, are you trying to turn into Theresa?
She might as well just curl up and die if that ever happened.