She Don't Dream for Me

By: caramelo

I do not own One Tree Hill or anything related to it.

Chapter Fourteen: Your Perfect Girlfriend

As Brooke ventured further into Nathan's room, the moonlight provided her with a clear view of Nathan's half-covered body and his eyes glittering darkly as he stared up at the ceiling. He was completely still, and Brooke, well accustomed to the darkness by now, could just make out the stony expression on his face. As she took another step forward, her shadow crept onto his bed, and Nathan happened to notice. Immediately, his eyes flew shut and his expression melted into one of false relaxation.

"Oh stop it, I know you're awake," Brooke whispered, afraid to break the quiet for a reason even she wasn't aware of. She stood there, waiting, and wasn't disappointed as Nathan opened one reluctant eye when he realized she wasn't going to leave. "Baby," she muttered under her breath.

"Brooke," he said, his voice kept carefully gruff and guarded, although she could see the surprise written in his eyes, both of which were now open. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk," she said simply, verging on petulantly. She sat on a tiny corner of his bed, careful not to come in any sort of contact with him.

This seemed to annoy him. "We were talking. You were the one that pushed me out, remember?"

Brooke fought to keep cool. "It was getting a little intense," she said, choosing her words cautiously.

Nathan scoffed. "You got scared."

She shot him a glare. "Maybe. But you were about to cross the line. We both were."

"What line?" Nathan challenged.

This was it. Brooke swallowed. Her mouth opened and closed as she struggled to speak, to find the right words. Finally, she decided on the direct approach. "We were flirting, Nate."

"So what?" Nathan burst out bitterly. His voice was mocking as he repeated her words from only earlier that day. "Kissing is no big thing. Having sex is not even worth mentioning most of the time. Where the hell does that leave flirting?"

Brooke stuck out her chin defiantly. "This is different."

"How, Brooke?" Nathan pressed. "How is this different?"

"You know how," she said, keeping her gaze steady on him.

He matched the stare with equal intensity. "No, I really don't. Explain it to me."

Brooke swallowed, hard. He was trying to push her into something she wasn't sure she was ready for. He should know better. How could he be so cold? After Lucas, and the baby, and everything…why was he doing this to her? She studied him carefully. His expression was expectant and determined, his lips set in a thin, straight line. He was propped up by his elbows, and she could see his shoulders were tense. His eyes, however, she realized with a start, his eyes told another story.

She saw confusion and uncertainty mixed with aggravation and what might have very well been desire. For the first time, she could see things from his point of view. She had come into his room late at night, and she was trying to be difficult. She was the one who had pushed him out earlier, and now she was trying to pull him back into their tired, old habit. She had been throwing him away and yanking him back so much this past week, he must have had whiplash. And while he said he could handle all her issues, she knew it wasn't fair that she treated him like this. He didn't deserve that.

He was watching her intently, and though he remained silent, Brooke could feel the frustration emanating from him. She couldn't blame him.

"We're different," she finally said after a lengthy period of silence. He quirked a brow, and she continued to explain. "I lied to you, Nate. That kiss last night, it shouldn't have been a big deal, but it was. To me, at least. I just…I…" she trailed off helplessly, making nonsensical gestures with her hands.

Nathan brought himself up to a sitting position, and his hands shot out to grasp hers, holding them tightly to stop their motion. "The kiss was a big deal to me too," he said, "I told you that. And it wasn't just because I betrayed Haley. I'm not going to lie. I wanted it to happen again." A ghost of a smile reappeared on his face. "But maybe in a different situation."

"I won't be Peyton," Brooke whispered. Her arms crossed across her chest stubbornly, and her eyes shone with an emotion Nathan couldn't place.

His grip on her hands tightened and then relaxed in one soothing squeeze. "You aren't," he assured her. "And we won't. I can barely stand myself now for what I'm doing to Haley. This all just took me by surprise. But now that we're here...I don't want to go back to the way things were."

"It feels wrong," Brooke admitted.

"Maybe you should go back to the living room," Nathan suggested, albeit reluctantly. "We can get this all sorted out in school tomorrow."

Brooke nodded but felt a strange lump in her throat. She didn't want to go. Reason, however, for the first time in a long time, was the stronger voice. "We wouldn't want to do anything we'd regret later," she said softly.

"Yeah," Nathan agreed. He released his grip on her hands, allowing her to pull away.

But Brooke wasn't ready yet. She leaned in and placed an innocent kiss on his cheek, pausing to whisper, "You better not disappoint me, Nate."

Nathan felt a tingle running up his spine. Technically, they weren't doing anything wrong, but it all felt so traitorous. He swallowed and raked a wobbly hand through his hair. His other hand clenched into a fist around his bed sheets. "You should go, Brooke," he said in a tight whisper.

She understood. She had felt a catch of breath too in those past few seconds. They were so close to crossing that precious line. Maybe they already had. Shaken, Brooke pulled away and scrambled off the bed. "I'm sorry," she said, though she was uncertain as to what exactly she was apologizing for. Looking back, she might have liked the idea that it was an apology that encompassed everything that had happened and everything that would happen in the future. Brooke hadn't been lying when she told him he would have to give up and take on more than he bargained for just for her. She came with a heavy price.

Nathan smiled at her lopsidedly. It was a welcome change from the somber tone that had enveloped most of the night. He looked adorable with his tousled hair and rumpled bed sheets around him and that tired, silly expression. Her heart nearly melted just watching him. "Don't be," he said. "There's nothing you need to be sorry for."

It was a lie, but it brought a smile to Brooke's face all the same. "Goodnight, Nathan," she said contentedly before drifting out of his room. She shut the door behind her and walked over to Nathan's couch, her bed for the night, and collapsed onto it, for the first time realizing how tired she actually was. Maybe she would get some sleep tonight after all.

In fact, it wasn't ten minutes later when her eyes began to blink, too heavy to keep open for more than a few seconds at a minutes after that, it was apparent they wouldn't open again. Despite the fact that the couch was slightly lumpy, and the sheets were impossibly tangled from all her tossing and turning earlier, a peaceful smile touched her lips, and her sleep was uninterrupted until the next morning.

Unfortunately, her wake-up call was not nearly as pleasant as her slumber had been.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" A gruff voice echoed through the apartment.

Brooke's nose twitched, and she turned over, murmuring softly. A door to the left of her flew open, banging against the wall loudly. Her lips curved into a frown as she burrowed her head further under her covers. Surely, it had only been a couple hours since she had fallen asleep. It was much too early…

"Damn it, Brooke!" a dismayed voice exclaimed above her. A pair of hands shook her shoulders, trying their best to be gentle but affected by a strong sense of urgency. "You need to wake up!"

Brooke grumbled. "Two more minutes," she pleaded, still half-asleep.

"No more minutes!" the voice howled. "We've already missed half of first period!"

Brooke's eyes flew open. She shot up into a sitting position, only to have the top of her head collide with Nathan's chin. "Oww!" she cried, her eyes watering as she clutched at the injury. She glanced up at a pajama-clad Nathan to see him wince and cradle his chin.

"I'll get us some ice," he said through clenched teeth. "You get our stuff together."

"Having trouble now that Mommy's not around to dress you anymore?" she shot back. The stress level that morning was quickly shredding apart her cheerful mood from the night before.

Nathan shook his head. "Don't be a bitch, Brooke. We don't have time today."

Brooke stuck her tongue out at him and scampered into his room. Nathan watched her for a few seconds before turning and heading towards the kitchen to get a couple baggies of ice.

Once in Nathan's room, Brooke was faced with a serious dilemma. She had had no trouble picking out his outfit (a blue polo shirt that brought out his eyes and a pair of khaki shorts that showcased his ass—she was never too fond of his hoodies and basketball shorts) but her own outfit proved to be a problem. She hadn't brought any extra clothes with her to Nathan's house, and she had thrown her clothes from yesterday in the wash last night. They were soaking wet. For once, she actually had nothing to wear.

Panicked, Brooke dove into his drawers, tearing through them at an alarming rate. Surely, there had to be something, anything, close to her size. "Tutor girl had to have left something here at some point," she muttered under her breath.

"Nope," Nathan said behind her. She whirled around to see him standing in the doorway with two dripping baggies of ice in his hand as he stared at the destruction she had created in his room while searching for something to wear. "Clothes don't come off in this house. No action, remember?"

"Prudes are no fun," Brooke said grouchily. It was a bitchy thing to say, but at the moment, she didn't particularly care. Haley had been her only lifeline. They didn't have time to drop by Brooke's house this morning.

"Hey," Nathan said warningly. He didn't look happy. "Don't talk like that about Haley."

Brooke knew where he was coming from, but it didn't stop the jealousy from coursing through her. "Sorry," she muttered, "didn't mean to insult your perfect girlfriend."

"What's your problem this morning?" he snapped.

"Nothing," she retorted, still savagely searching through his things.

Nathan shook his head disgustedly. "Here's your ice pack," he said, tossing it to the floor beside her. "Meet me in the car."

"What about Haley's car?" Brooke asked.

"She's going to come home with me this afternoon to pick it up. She doesn't want you driving it anywhere."

"Nice to see she has so much trust in me," Brooke spat.

"Can you blame her?" Nathan challenged.

Brooke stood, holding the ice pack, a pair of jeans Nathan had outgrown, her belt from last night, and one of his old hoodies. "Apparently not," she hissed as she brushed past him rudely on the way to the bathroom. Nathan was left to stare blankly in bemusement.

When Brooke exited the bathroom fifteen minutes later, she was in a possibly worse mood than before. She had no make-up on, the hoodie she wore made her top half look shapeless, but the stained, dirty tank top from yesterday - the only thing that hadn't been thrown in the washing machine - she wore underneath looked even worse. A pair of Nathan's oldest jeans sat low on her hips, not in a sexy way, but in a serious danger of falling off way despite the fact that she had buckled her belt using the last hole.

She stormed through the apartment, gathering her things in a plastic grocery bag as she went along, and finally headed outside, slamming the door shut behind her. She was halfway surprised to see Nathan sitting in his stalled car in front of the building.

"You waited," she said as she climbed into the passenger seat.

"I said I would," he retorted.

Brooke shrugged. "People don't always mean what they say."

"More cryptic allusions," he said sarcastically, "that's exactly what I needed this morning."

"They're not so cryptic if you stop to think about them," Brooke said with a sidelong glance in his direction.

He steadfastly refused to meet her eyes. "Well, we don't really have time for that this morning."

Brooke's lips pursed, and she put up an obvious effort to keep her cool. You deserved that, she reminded herself, thinking about the way she had acted earlier. "I'm trying to apologize here," she said moodily.

"Really?" Nathan said, raising a brow. "Doesn't sound like it to me."

"Well, I am," Brooke insisted. "In my own weird way, I really am. I shouldn't have acted the way I did this morning. I didn't mean half the things I said. I'm not sure what got into me."

Nathan sent her a pained smile. "I think I do. You were trying to push me away again. You're always trying to push me away."

He parked his car into the school parking lot just as Brooke began her protests. "We don't have time for this now, Brooke," he said, cutting her off as he clambered out of the car. He was just about to slam the door shut when he noticed she had made no effort to move from the passenger seat. Annoyed, he poked his head in. "What are you waiting for?"

Brooke glared at him defiantly, her arms crossed in front of her chest. "I think I'll just stay here."

Nathan rolled his eyes. "So you can steal my car? Come on, Brooke, we're late enough as it is."

"No." Her glare melted into a pout, and she chewed on her lip in an almost insecure way. Nathan's brow shot up in bemusement. "I promise I won't steal your car," she said flatly, "but there is no way I'm coming out."

"Why not?" Nathan nearly tore his hair out in frustration.

"I can multitask," she replied in that same flat tone.

Nathan stopped mid-rave, his hands falling limply down at his sides. "What?" he demanded.

Brooke pursed her lips. "While I was trying to apologize to you, even though I should have known it would be useless since you're so stubborn, I was looking in the little car mirror at the same time and noticing just how bad I look in this." She gestured down at herself, and Nathan noted for the first time how his clothes fit on her. It wasn't a flattering look. "Exactly," Brooke said, seeing the expression that had crossed his face. "I am not going to throw myself out there in a place where everybody is just waiting to pounce on me like wolves. Wolves, Nathan. They'll tear me apart."

Nathan let out an exasperated breath. His shoulders slumped. "I'm sure you're overreacting," he said.

"I'm not," Brooke said persistently. "And I'm not going out there."

The look on Nathan's face could only be described as sort of pained and long-suffering. "I can't skip school, Brooke," he said reasonably. "I just got emancipated. Imagine how that will look to everyone."

"Well, you don't have to imagine how I'll look to everyone," Brooke hissed, "because you can see me right now. High school is made up of predator and prey, Nathan, and if I walk in there like this I'll be on the wrong side of the food chain."

"You're the most popular girl in school, Brooke," Nathan said, hoping he sounded reasonable. "You'll probably end up setting a trend or something."

"Grunge was so three years ago. Everybody knows that," Brooke snapped.

"Of course, what was I thinking?" Nathan mumbled under his breath, irritated. Brooke shot him a dangerous look, and he was quick to recompose himself. "I mean, I'll be with you the whole time too, and I'm the most popular guy so…"

"Get over yourself," Brooke said rudely.

Nathan's blue eyes were wide and innocent. He looked really cute that way, Brooke decided, before remembering that she was supposed to be arguing with him. Her gaze darkened as he began to speak. "Well, am I?"

Brooke smirked. "Lucas has been taking the limelight recently," she said.

His expression soured. "That was cold."

Brooke giggled despite herself, and soon neither of them could hide their smiles. "You'll be fine, Brooke," Nathan assured her after a few quiet moments. "Nobody can bring you down. You're stronger than that."

"I am pretty tough, aren't I?" Brooke said lightly. She took flattery well. "I shouldn't have to worry about the big, bad high school kids."

Nathan laughed. "Considering you're one of them, definitely not. Are you ready to come out now?"

Brooke thought for a moment. She shook her head. "No." Nathan looked like he was about to start yelling, and she was quick to continue. "But I will anyway. If anybody gives me a hard time, I'll just have you beat them up for me."

"…good plan," Nathan said, only halfway certain that she was joking. Brooke shot him a big smile, and Nathan returned it with considerably less enthusiasm, and she hopped out of the car. Nathan sighed with relief and finally slammed his own door shut. When he met Brooke in front of the car, he was forced to stifle a snort of laughter. His clothes threatened to swallow her thin frame. Apparently, they had already gotten a hold of her hands and feet, as the appendages were nowhere to be seen under the mounds of extra fabric.

"You just had to get a large, didn't you?" Brooke said. She shook her head disgustedly as she began marching off in the direction of their first period classroom. "Boys." Nathan followed her, still struggling to keep himself in check, but his smirk was quickly exchanged for a look of bewilderment as they walked through the front door. He could have sworn Brooke had nodded amiably in greeting to one of the burnouts in the parking lot.

There was little time to ponder this new development, however, as the pair raced through the hallways to get to Mr. Nicholson's class. "Don't see why we're bothering," Brooke huffed as they turned a corner and his door came into view. "The bell should be ringing any…"

The bell rang.

Nathan's groan was drowned out by the sounds of hundreds of students gathering their things throughout the school and pouring out into the hallway. Brooke might have been the only person able to hear him if her attention hadn't been otherwise averted.

"Umm, Nathan?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yeah?" Nathan said, his head bent back to stare straight up at the ceiling as if asking the higher powers what he had done to deserve such misfortune.

"Did you tell Haley I was sleeping over at your apartment last night?"

His head shot back up so fast Brooke might have feared he had gotten whiplash if her eyes weren't still glued on something just ahead of them in the hallway. "No, why…" The question died on Nathan's lips and his blood ran cold as he followed her gaze to an incredulous and hurt-looking Haley standing frozen just outside Mr. Nicholson's classroom.

Author's Note: So, yeah, I looked at the date, and I've been working on this story for over a year. Yeah. Long time. Is it coming to an end? Umm, tell you the truth, I don't even know yet. I let this story take its own course. I do, however, doubt that it will make the 20 chapter mark, and this is chapter 14, so you do the math…another year worth of writing, considering how slow I go. I'm so, so sorry. Really. I hope I still have readers after such a long time. Please let me know what you think in a review!

until next time…

caramelo