She Don't Dream for Me

By: caramelo

I do not own One Tree Hill or anything related to it.

Chapter Eighteen: Marriage Proposal

The rest of the weekend went by with little consequence. Monday would have been just as uneventful if Brooke hadn't crossed paths with the one person who she knew she would have to speak with about everything. She wasn't looking forward to the conversation, but she knew it had to be done.

"Lucas," she said, just as he was about to pass by after giving her a simple nod of acknowledgement. He stopped with a questioning look. It had been a while since she had initiated anything with him.

"Yeah?" he asked.

Brooke paused. She smiled tightly. "Um, I just sort of wanted to talk to you. Is that okay?"

Lucas looked surprised but smiled genuinely back all the same. "Yeah," he said. "I told you I'd be here whenever you needed me. What is it you wanted to talk about?"

Brooke glanced around. She had stopped him in front of the cafeteria on the way to lunch, and the hall was bustling with hordes of students. "Not here," she said. "It's pretty important. Could we go somewhere?"

"Sure," Lucas said agreeably. Brooke was sure he thought she wanted to talk about Nathan or else he wouldn't be nearly this pleasant. He put his hand on the small of her back in a friendly gesture and steered her through the crowd with him as they sought out privacy.

It wasn't hard to find. This Monday was a chilly day, beginning of February weather finally catching up with Tree Hill. A steady drizzle had accompanied the cooler temperatures, ensuring that the rest of the students stayed within the safe confines of the inside of the school. Naturally, Brooke and Lucas ventured outside, huddling together on the front steps of the school.

"You wanted to talk about something?" Lucas prompted.

"Yeah," Brooke said reluctantly. "I did."

Lucas waited. She knew he would.

"See, the thing is…" Brooke tapered off almost as soon as she had begun. She didn't know that it would be this hard to find the words. "I…"

He sat, waiting patiently. By now, Brooke would have been sure to make some smart remark if the roles had been reversed. She was grateful that he wasn't like that. This was difficult enough already.

"This week, well, I…" Brooke was determined to finish what she had started this time. "I started looking into getting an abortion."

Lucas's eyes widened, and, if she wasn't mistaken, seemed to light up. She eyed him suspiciously. "What?"

"What?" Lucas repeated innocently.

"That look," Brooke said. "What's that look for?"

"I'm just listening," Lucas defended himself.

Brooke shook her head. "Bullshit. You had a look. Why?"

Lucas flushed, abashed. "You caught me, I guess," he said, though there was little regret in his voice. His eyes still danced for a reason unknown to her. "See, when you first told me you were getting an abortion, I decided to look up some stuff about it too. Just a little research, you know? And, well, it's against the law here, isn't it? You'd have to get parental consent."

The muddled meaning of Lucas's look suddenly rearranged itself into something that made sense. It was a mix between joy and triumph. He thought she couldn't go through with it. Which was partly true, for now. She was still trying to decide whether or not she was angry with him for it.

"There's actually another way," Brooke said in a small voice.

The sparkle of good humor in Lucas's eyes vanished. "What?"

"I said there's another way," Brooke said, more confidently this time. "I found a way around having to tell my parents."

"What? How?" Lucas asked. A horrified expression settled over his features. "You're not planning on anything illegal, are you? Because I can't let you do that, Brooke. Not to yourself or the baby."

"It's not a baby yet," Brooke mumbled. He only continued to glare at her accusatorily.

"I'm not doing anything illegal, all right?" she snapped. "It's all about legality, in fact. I've taken it to the courts, Luke."

"You've what?"

"I filed my request last Friday. My court hearing is tomorrow," Brooke said. She crossed her arms in a gesture that she couldn't decide whether was stubborn or defensive.

"And the purpose of this court hearing is…"

"To get a waiver for my abortion. I won't have to tell my parents a thing."

Lucas sighed. "Why are you going through all this trouble? Why can't you just keep it?"

"I just can't, okay?" Brooke said sharply. "We've already been through this."

Lucas buried his head in his hands. His voice came out muffled. "It isn't fair, Brooke."

"I don't want a lecture about morality, Luke," Brooke said.

"You need one," Lucas shot back.

"Nothing about this is right," Brooke said. "Any decision I make will be wrong. I might as well pick the one that hurts the least amount of people."

"What about the baby?" Lucas demanded.

"It isn't a baby yet!" Brooke said, her voice jumping up to a high, near hysterical pitch. "Did you not take Biology?"

"It is a baby," Lucas insisted. "This isn't the right way to handle things."

"Sorry if I'm not too sold on your judgment when it comes to handling things," Brooke sneered. "You accepted my decision before. Why can't you do it now?"

"I never accepted it. I recognized the situation was more difficult than I originally thought, but I never accepted that. You can't do this, Brooke," Lucas insisted.

Those were exactly the wrong words to say. Brooke turned pale with fury. She leaned in close. "Never tell me I can't do something," she hissed in his ear, "because chances are, I can. And I will." She pulled away and straightened up, staring down at him contemptuously. "And do you want me to tell you something you can't do? You can't stop me, Luke. You can't make this decision for me. I've already made it."

She didn't wait for his reply or look back as she swung the front door open and stormed inside. She fumed for the rest of the day and was pleased when most of her fellow classmates widely steered clear of her. She didn't feel like answering any questions about the whirlwind of gossip she had been involved in recently. Brooke had fended them off enough in the past week already.

However, there were always the select few that were stupid enough and curious enough to ignore the warning signs.

"So," Theresa said, twirling her pen casually during French class, "Saw things get pretty heated between you and Lucas outside today. What was that about?"

Brooke glared at her sharply. "When did you see me and Lucas outside?"

Theresa shrugged. "I went to my locker during lunch. I saw you stomping through the doorway with that super bitchy look you get when you're angry, and then Lucas came in looking all depressed a few minutes later."

"He was depressed?" Brooke repeated slowly. Anger, she could understand. But why the hell would he be depressed? She realized he was against the abortion based on moral grounds, but he must have innately known that she was doing him a favor by not tying him down to a family at such a young age. He couldn't be that sad.

"Dragging his feet and hiding his eyes," Theresa said cheerfully. "What happened? Did you, like, reject his marriage proposal or something?"

"Marriage proposal?" Brooke said, horrified. She was beginning to feel like a parrot, but she seemed to be incapable of forming her own words at the moment. What marriage proposal?

"Well, you're pregnant, right?" Theresa said. "And since he's the father, he's like obligated to propose. We've all been figuring that it's just a matter of time, even if he's got that thing with Peyton or whatever. All us cheerleaders are thinking about the bachelorette party…or we were. Until you rejected him."

"Theresa," Brooke said, trying not to sag with relief but not bothering to hold back a roll of her eyes. "Lucas and I are not getting married. We never were getting married. He did not propose to me today."

Theresa looked aghast. "But what about the baby?" she demanded breathlessly. Her tone of voice indicated that she knew she was about to stumble onto some very good gossip.

Brooke only stared at her. The word baby seemed to render her completely void of any scathing remarks about how Theresa should mind her own damn business. After taking a deep breath, Brooke turned back around in her seat and did not speak to the other cheerleader for the rest of the class period.

She left Mandy in charge of the squad that day. She had no doubt that practice would be spent gossiping about her. Theresa would be sure to tell the rest of them about the conversation she and Brooke had shared, and Brooke's weird reaction after telling her that Lucas hadn't proposed.

Brooke had a headache. She needed a nap.

The next morning, Brooke was very surprised to learn her nap had lasted a little over twelve hours. She had plenty of time to get to school as it was only six, but she didn't feel like she had the energy. Her movements were slow and lethargic. Brushing her teeth alone had taken about seven minutes. She had nearly fallen asleep with the toothbrush in her mouth.

Brooke splashed cold water onto her face copiously, hoping to shock herself out of her funk. She only stopped when a wayward splash splattered onto yesterday's top and made the garment stick uncomfortably to her. "Whatever," she grumbled, stripping off the shirt and pants and stepping into the shower.

Brooke brought her notes to school for some last-minute preparation before her case that afternoon, but on the ride over, a cold fear gripped her. What if a nosy classmate happened to catch a glimpse at the sheets? She settled for studying in her car until the bell rang and then stashing them into the glove compartment.

"Hey, Brooke," Nathan said as she slid down into the seat in front of him, just in time for the last bell to ring. He had thoughtfully been giving her space ever since the catastrophe that was the end of their date on Friday.

"Nate," she replied back amicably, digging through her bookbag for her English notes. "Hah!" she said when she finally found them stuck inside the inside cover of her algebra book.

Nathan shook his head with a laugh. "You don't need those today. Mr. Nicholson is grading the papers we turned in on Friday. This is basically a free day."

"What papers?" Brooke asked blankly.

"You know," Nathan said, "the one about the most important person in our lives."

Oh, yeah. Brooke remembered. The person to the left of her had gushed about a favorite aunt. The person to the right had composed a piece about her best friend. She had written some drivel about a grandmother she had never actually met. But Mr. Nicholson didn't have to know that.

"Suppose you wrote about Daddy Dearest," Brooke said with a wry smile.

"Centered around how he almost ruined my life? Yeah, not likely," Nathan said.

Brooke frowned. "No? Hmm…what about your favorite half-brother? It was him, wasn't it? I know yow much you look up to your big bro." She couldn't bring herself to say the actual name Lucas for some reason. Even alluding to him gave her a twisting feeling in her stomach.

"You really suck at this guessing game," Nathan said.

Brooke waited expectantly.

Nathan sighed. "It was just Whitey, okay? I couldn't think of anybody else."

Brooke paused. She hadn't expected the answer, but it was oddly…"sweet," she murmured. Whitey was sort of like Nathan's mentor. He shielded him from Dan's wrath during the games.

Nathan was flushing bright red. "So, who did you pick then?" he demanded.

"Somebody I never knew," she said. "My grandmother."

"I'm sorry. Did she die?" Nathan asked.

"Last I heard she was tanning in Barbados," Brooke said, shrugging easily.

Nathan looked stumped. "Oh."

"Sorry," Brooke grinned, "I know that wasn't a very good sob story. I'll try to think up a better version later."

"Whatever," Nathan said, laughing, "I should have known."

"You should have," Brooke agreed. "You obviously haven't been paying enough attention to me lately."

Nathan's brow shot up. "Wonder why," he said noncommittally.

Brooke grimaced. "Point made. I know; it's my fault."

Nathan didn't disagree. "Maybe whatever it is you need to do will be over soon?" he said hopefully.

"Yeah, it will be," Brooke said. She tried to smile, but it was creaky and forced. It surprised her just how hard it was. She felt sick.

"Something wrong?" Nathan asked, concerned.

Brooke shook her head quickly. "No, no, not really," she said. "Just…thinking."

"What about?"

Brooke mumbled something unintelligible and turned her head away.

"Didn't catch that," Nathan said, noting that something was, in fact, wrong. He grinned, hoping it would take her mind off whatever was troubling. "It was me, wasn't it? You were thinking about me."

"You're just so sexy," Brooke said, rolling her eyes. "I couldn't help myself."

"It's okay," Nathan teased. "Happens all the time."

Brooke's eyes lit in recognition at the familiar statement, but it was obvious she was still otherwise preoccupied. "Not fair. You can't use my lines against me," she murmured.

"It was too good to pass up," Nathan said. Brooke smiled faintly, and he frowned. He was losing her, but why? "So I was thinking," he tried again, "that since basketball practice is cancelled and I'm free, that you and me could do something after school today."

Brooke smirked. "You were thinking, were you? Surprise, surprise."

"Haha," Nathan said. "Well, how 'bout it? We could rent a movie and watch it at my apartment or something."

Brooke avoided the answer completely. "Why is basketball practice cancelled?" she asked.

Nathan sighed with impatience. "I don't know. Whitey's got some appointment or something. Doctor, dentist, chiropractor, whatever. Old people have lots of problems."

"Not very nice to talk about your hero that way," Brooke said.

"He's not my hero," Nathan said. "I just didn't have anyone else to write about."

"You could've written about me," Brooke pointed out.

"Right," Nathan snorted. "Brooke Davis is the most important person in my life right now because I asked her to hang out with me like ten minutes ago, and I'm still waiting for her answer. Sounds like an A-worthy paper, right?"

"I was actually thinking a C," Brooke said.

"Brooke!"

"What?"

"Can you hang out with me after school today?"

Brooke bit her lip. The cold twisting in her stomach settled into a tight knot. A grimace was frozen on her face. "I actually can't," she said softly.

Everything about Nathan was guarded and carefully nonchalant. "Oh," he said, "okay then."

"Nathan," Brooke said desperately, "I would really like to. You have no idea. There's just something else I have to do. Something really important."

"I get it," Nathan said. "We can reschedule. No big deal."

Brooke nodded, but something about the way she was avoiding his eyes made Nathan suspicious. "This something," he said slowly. Brooke glanced up at him, startled. She obviously hadn't expected him to delve further into the subject. It made him even more certain that something was amiss. "Does this something that you have to do today have anything to do with Lucas?"

"I…" Brooke said, clearly taken aback. "Well…" It was impossible for her to lie at this point. "Yeah, it does actually."

Nathan stiffened. His gaze shuttered. "I see," he said woodenly. "I didn't know…well, Theresa mentioned something the other day, but I didn't really…I just…Whatever. You and Lucas, huh?"

If it hadn't been for Brooke's impeccable self-control, her jaw would have dropped wide open. "Wha-what?" she said faintly. "Me and Lucas? Nathan, I think you've got the wrong idea."

"You don't have to spare my feelings, Brooke," Nathan said tightly. "You're pregnant. Lucas is the father. I know how it is. My mom and dad, remember?"

"Nathan, I…"

"No big deal, Brooke. It's just like you said. We never really had anything real between us anyway. I don't care," Nathan cut her off quickly. He smiled weakly. "It's not like I don't have plenty of back-ups to choose from."

All Brooke's attempts to explain things died on her lips right then and there. "Back-ups," she repeated flatly.

"Well, yeah," Nathan said with a grin that was too easy and too wide to be real, "A guy like me always has back-ups. Sort of like insurance, you know?"

Something in the back of Brooke's mind was screaming that this wasn't right, that this wasn't Nathan. It had hurt him when Lucas's name had been brought into the center of it all. She knew he had to be insecure about the history she shared with Lucas. She knew what he thought, mistakenly, but…back-ups? Insurance?

"I'm afraid I don't know," she said in a clipped voice. "Maybe it's just a guy thing."

Nathan snorted disgustedly. "Oh, please," he said. "Like I wasn't your back-up in case things fell through and Lucas didn't propose to you. I'm not naïve, Brooke. I'm a little dumb, obviously, since I fell for everything, but I see what it all was now."

"After everything," Brooke said, her voice soft and barely controlled. "After everything that we've been through, and everything that I've done, you can't possibly believe something as stupid as that." She glanced around and lowered her voice. "You saw me cry, Nathan."

"But who were the tears for, Brooke?" Nathan shot back. "I thought it was me at the time, but if you were so heartbroken then why did you say no when I said I wanted you? Give me time, you said. Meanwhile, in this time, you avoid me to go off god-knows-where with Lucas to try and see if he'd get down on one knee for you."

"How long did it take you to come up with this whole conspiracy theory?" Brooke demanded. "Because I guarantee that you over-thought it all."

"Did I? Then what are you doing this afternoon, Brooke?"

Brooke paled. Her lips narrowed into a tight line.

Nathan's lip curled. "That's what I thought."

The cold coils in Brooke's stomach snapped in a flame of fury, roaring inside her and burning her eyes. She sprung out of her seat. "You've got it all figured out, don't you?" she hissed. "Yesterday, out on the steps Lucas proposed to me, and we're going to be married and have one big, happy family together, starting with this baby. Sorry that I used you, Nathan. Sorry that I thought up this huge, elaborate lie, so that you would lose Haley and be there for me, just in case things didn't go that way. Sorry that I'm such an evil, conniving bitch. But hey, look at it this way: now, you're free to hook up with as many of your little back-up sluts as you want. Everybody leaves happy, right?"

On the last word, she spun away from him, storming furiously towards the door. "Ms. Davis," her teacher called, "Ms. Davis, where are you going?"

"Bathroom," Brooke said shortly. She left the room, and not long after, she left the school.

She wasn't sure who she wanted to kill more: Nathan, Lucas, or Theresa.

Author's Note: Did the chapter title make anybody stop and go "what?" I know if I were reading this, I'd be like it takes her seven chapters to get them to kiss and now all of the sudden they're getting married? LOL. Instead, Nathan and Brooke are doing nothing but growing apart, and without Haley's good influence, Nathan's less than admirable qualities are showing through. His quick temper and open jealousy of Lucas, for examples. Hmm, maybe I should just give up and make this a Brucas. KIDDING! I've got the plot line set up for what may be the last few chapters and well…you'll just have to wait and see. ;) Review please!

until next time...

caramelo