Complicated

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon.

So complicated, I'm so frustrated.
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.
Should I say it?
Should I tell you how I feel?
Oh, I want you to know.
But then again I don't. It's so complicated.

Love. It's weird, complicated and sometimes downright annoying. At least to me anyway, it can also be so hard and depressing. Whoever came up with being in love, please if you know them; let me know so I can beat them with a stick. I, Small Lady am in love…with a horse. Not Platonic love, not that friendship kind of love, but that my-heart-aches-to-be-with-you kind of love. Who knew someone could be in love with a horse! Of course he has a human form, which is incredibly handsome; but I think he's forgotten about me anyway. Even though he promised we would see each other again. I'm now 17, though I'll be 18 in a few hours, it's been several years and still he has not come. I'm not sure I can even remember the sound of his voice, I can vaguely see his face it's been too long.

I always was annoyed with my Mother on how she seemed too obsessed with my Father; how she seemed to hang on his every word, melt at his every touch, or just simply be content to just be with him. Whether they were watching a movie or just sitting staring at a bug on the wall. It didn't seem to matter. Well, if there was a bug on the wall she'd have been screaming for him to kill it all the while clinging to him at the same time, but that's beside the point.

I know I was only a child at the time when I met Helios. I try and tell myself it was only a child's infatuation, but if that is so, my love for him would have never lasted this long. He seems so far away, and I know when it's true love geographical distances shouldn't matter; but I just wish I could see him.

I completed my dream, I became a lady. Just like I wanted, I grew up into a beautiful woman like my Mother, like I had always dreamed of. Do I have a dream left? Yes, to see Helios that's my dream.

Nowadays I just spend time in room gazing out the window, my parents are worried, but, they know when I'm like this, I like to be alone. When I'm upset, I just like to be alone being around people makes it worse. I want to just sit and rot in self pity. I know it sounds sad and pathetic, I constantly dream of Pegasus, and the time I spent with him; when I was younger. Sometimes I wish he would just go away, so I wouldn't have to remember him.

I sighed quietly watching my friends with their lovers walking in the garden, Raye with Chad giggling softly, Ami with Greg looking quite shy, Lita with Ken, and Mina with some guy she met a few weeks ago.

It was official I seemed to be the only woman in Crystal Tokyo without a lover to be with. How pathetic. Wasn't a girl my age supposed to be giggling over guys and dating?

That'd be the normal thing to do; but not me, I sit and dream of a man I loved when I was a child and still love, a man who probably forgot about me and is probably off courting some faerie princess or whatever. Stupid faerie.

"SMALL LADY!" I groaned and put my head in my lap wanting to rip my hair out at the insane voice that just screamed my name. I looked up and saw Ceres and Vesta. Sometimes seeing them made the situation I was in worse, they were around when I had met Helios; and they were a horrible reminder of my time spent with him.

"Ceres is it really necessary that you scream my name?" I asked looking up at Ceres who only grinned wider at me.

"And why is our little, cute fluffy, pink-haired princess sad?" She asked in a baby voice walking over and pinching my cheeks.

"CERES!" I screamed at the top of my lungs slapping her hands away, "Stop pinching my cheeks." I said glaring at her.

"Ceres I am going to hide those Snickers bars from you, you're high on sugar again, leave her alone." Vesta said walking in more, I was relieved she stood up for me till I heard, "And it's obvious why she's sad!" She said grinning at me making me fearful.

"Vesta…" I said looking at her.

"She misses her love Helios!" She grinned at me, laughing, "Aw, I bet she dreams of making out with the Priest of Earth."

I swear my face matched the color of my hair, "Oooh," I said putting my head back in my lap blushing, "I do not." I said taking a pillow from the ledge I sat on chucking it at her. I put my head back into my lap I wanted to cry I wanted to scream; I wanted to find Helios shake him and scream at him for making me feel this way, I wanted to grab him and kiss him; I wanted to tell him I loved him. I wanted to scream and cry at him and tell him how horrible it was he broke his promise to me and left me; I wanted to find him and spend the rest of my life with him.

I wanted to scream.

It wasn't because of Ceres or Vesta, it was because of Helios. Any mention of his name and I felt depressed again. Had I dreamed of 'making out' with him? Yes, I dreamed of meeting him again and kissing him. Why? I don't know, I tried everything to stop loving him. I tried doing a pros and cons list, I tried telling myself it wasn't love. I tried telling myself he didn't love me, I told myself that it was only but a dream; but no matter what I did, it didn't seem to help. When I slept I dreamed of him, when I was awake, little stupid things reminded me of him. Ceres and Vesta did, feathers did, horses did, even the word 'dreams' did. Everything around me reminded me of him.

I remembered he once told me that if I lost my dream he wouldn't be able to find me again. Was that why? Did he lose me? Was he searching for me?

It was annoying I just wanted to move on with my life, which was partially true I wanted to move on with my life…with him by my side.

Ceres and Vesta sighed, "We'll leave you alone for a while." They said taking the hint, seeing as I was just staring off into space. I did that a lot spacing out, musing about my life.

I mused that maybe there was some sort of dream potion I could take and I would go to sleep and dream of Helios forever, that always made me scowl it sounded like something my Mother would have said when she was younger. I also mused at how many tiles were on my ceiling I had once attempted to count them; however there were so many I lost count.

I mused that there was some evil witch faerie that had found Helios and put him under a spell and made him a love slave to her. I also mused that maybe rabid fan girls, (if there were any in Elysion) had taken him hostage and done horrible things to him, making him their slave to their obsessions.

I sighed my life sucked and I was a pitiful person dwelling on dreams forgetting to live; but sometimes I wondered if I had forgotten to dream which helped me to live.

Confusing.

Neo-Queen Serenity smiled widely at everyone, "Okay are you ready? Small Lady doesn't suspect a thing!" She said happily, with her husband by her side.

Ceres and Vesta grinned, "No, she's still moping in her room." Ceres said smiling, feeling their plan was working out fantastically.

Serenity nodded, "Good," Serenityreplied sighing happily. Her daughter had been withdrawn for the last few months, and she had finally figured out why. Her daughter was still in love with Helios. Serenity still believed and knew in her heart her daughter would see him again. She was excited her daughter was turning 18 today finally an adult, it seemed like just yesterday she had given birth to a beautiful baby girl.

Now she was 18 and all grown up and in love, "I'll go get her." She said smiling walking down the hall, smiling so widely her face might crack, they had had this planned for weeks, and so far everything was going according to plan all she had to do was get Small Lady out of her room.

---

I sighed standing up, deciding to read, hopefully it would take my mind off of him, and unfortunately there was a knock on my door. I sighed, "Come in." I said turning towards the door, it was my Mother.

I put a fake smile on my face, "Good Afternoon Mother." I said looking up at my Mother beaming face.

"Good Afternoon dear," She began, "Lunch is about to be served why don't you come down?" She asked softly.

I sighed I was about to say no till I looked up into my Mothers hopeful eyes, I always hated to disappoint. I guess the reading will have to wait till later, "I guess." I replied.

She smiled brightly, "Good." She grabbed my hand and drug me, my Mother still had those qualities she had always had. Like being way too excited and not being able to hide anything. Something was going on she was way too excited for lunch.

"Is there something going on?" I asked trying to keep up with my Mothers strides.

"No, why do you say that?" She asked.

"You just seem excited." I replied.

"Can't a Mother be excited to see her Daughter?" She asked stopping and looking at me.

I rolled my eyes, "Of course."

"Don't roll you're eyes at me," She replied playfully grabbing my arm as we started off at another brisk walk down the hall.

It didn't take to long with the speed we were going when we reached the dinning hall. There were big white wooden doors with intricate carvings in them that made them have a beauty to them.

She opened the doors and I walked in and saw the hall was filled with Birthday Decorations, "Surprise!" All my friends and family yelled standing up smiling at me.

I'd be lying if I said I was happy, it wasn't that I wasn't happy I had mixed emotions, I always loved birthday parties; I think that's how my friends knew something was wrong. My Birthday was coming up and I hadn't said a word like usual; they would ask if I was okay and I'd always say I was fine.

I hated to think what they would say if they found out I was still in love with someone I knew as a child.

I put on a smile on my face and ran up to Ceres trying to push my moody depressed thoughts and feelings away, "Ceres, you knew this morning and didn't say a word." I laughed.

"Of course not, it wouldn't have been a surprise then!" She said smiling at me.

"But last year you told me that-" Vesta covered my mouth quickly with wide eyes, last year Ceres had told me about the gift I was getting. Which was a dress I had seen in a shop and had been begging for.

"Shh," She laughed, "I think you're parents would kill us if they found out we accidentally told you about that." She laughed nervously.

First there was a dance which was what usually happened only I usually got stuck with the men that were pigs, or were secretly eyeing other girls behind me, finally there was cake which was one of my favorite parts. And finally the gifts, which I also enjoyed, the party actually was taking my mind off of Helios, I was able to enjoy myself with my friends and laugh.

Finally the gifts were all opened, my Father stood up and raised his glass, "To my Daughter who has reached her adulthood!" He said, everyone toasted and drank, I smiled my Father always managed to get a smile on my face.

After the toast and everyone settled down he began to speak again, "Eighteen is a special age, it's when you reach adulthood and begin you're life. Especially when a girls blossoms into a beautiful woman." He said smiling at me. "There is one more gift my wife and I would like to present our daughter." He said.

They all turned to the big wooden doors, so I assumed I was suppose to too, although this was proving difficult with people squeezing me Ceres was on top of me nearly trying to see over Lita who was trying to get Mina out of the way.

The group finally cleared and the doors opened and what I saw made my heart stop. There he stood, the person I had dreamed of seeing again for so long. The one that made me moody, depressed and made me feel confused. The one that I loved: Helios. He was smiling at me, Ceres and Vesta were giggling like mad so was Mina.

Ceres elbowed me, "Go make out with him." She said as he approached me, I elbowed her back, "Shut up." I muttered blushing.

He stood in front of me and smiled, he got down on one knee, took my hand and kissed it softly, "My Maiden." He said softly looking up at me making my heart skip a beat.

I was feeling a million emotions at this moment, I broke out into a huge grin and threw my arms around him, making him fall backwards onto the floor, "Helios!" I said through tears, "I've missed you!" Ceres and Vesta whistled and everyone else laughed.

He smiled, "I have too." He whispered into my ears I helped him up seeing as the position I was in wasn't lady like with my legs sprawled out across the floor. We all looked at the crowd, they stared at us for a moment as we stared back.

"Oh, right." Lita said laughing, as everyone else got the fact we wanted privacy, Helios lead me to the balcony and as he did I turned to my parents and mouthed a thank you and they nodded happily sitting back down.

Once we got to the balcony I sighed, "I've missed you," I said, "I was beginning to think you would not come." I said.

He sighed, "I know, I was able to find you till recently, you're light faded and I could no longer find you. I assumed you had forgotten me." Hereplied looking at me.

I looked down, "I could never forget you Helios." Isaid softly.

"Did you forget you're dream?" He asked.

"No, I completed my dream of becoming a lady. My other dream I felt was hopeless and I let go of it." Ireplied choking up a little, "I dreamed of seeing you again." I finished.

"I was coming, I was waiting for the right time."He said, "I started to panic when I could no longer find you. It wasn't till you're Father came to me, and told me."

I looked up perplexed, "Told you what?" I asked.

"That you spent unusual amounts of time in you're room." He said looking at me, "It was then he suggested I come when you turned 18, that it would be the perfect time." Hereplied, his hand caressing my face.

I leaned my head down into his shoulder and cried, "I tried convincing myself." I said cryptically.

"Convincing yourself?" He asked.

I nodded, "That I didn't love you, that it was just a phase, but…" I said looking up and seeing the hurt in his eyes, "No matter how much I denied it, I did love you. I finally understood what made my Mother act the way she did around my Father, it was love." I said choking up, "I love you Helios." I said looking down.

Helios put his hand under my chin and wiped the tears away, he leaned in and kissed me, "I love you too." He said looking at me.

"AW! HOW SWEET!"

I looked up and glared, "CERES I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" I said looking over seeing she was spying on us, I lifted my dress up and ran after her.

She was running for all it was worth, "BUT I HELPED YOU GET WITH HELIOS!" She screamed looking back seeing I was still after her, "AHH!" She screamed, Helios looked from the balcony and laughed at the sight she was still the same person she was years ago, the person he had fallen in love with.

"AHHH I'M TOO PRETTY TO DIE!" Ceres screamed.

-END-

A/n: This was my first one-shot about Small Lady and Helios, I hope I portrayed them okay and I hope you enjoyed this. I thought the idea of Helios and her family surprising her on her Birthday was an original idea. This took me two weeks to write. I hope I did okay.