Wow. I am just raking out the song-fic's tonight, aren't I? Heh. Well, I don't own Johnny C, or the beautiful Devi D. The ALMIGHTY Jhonen does. And I don't own Baptize Me - The Exies do, once again.
You're in my head tormenting me I'm running scared in my time of need Cuts on my head cuts on my feet I'm here waiting so baptize me
After attempting another failed suicide, Johnny sat on his little-used bed. His eyes were heavy, but he didn't feel like sleep. He just stared at the broken mirror on his dresser that sat a few feet away from him. Reverend Meat sat glaring at him, the word CALL on his stomach. Johnny shook his head.
"I wont." He muttered. Meat looked at him with caring eyes all of a sudden, then began laughing madly.
'Oh please, do. It might be fun. You cant run forever.'
"I can run. From her at least." Johnny declared, unsurely. For the past three weeks, he couldn't stop thinking about Devi. After refusing to talk, call, see, or stalk her again, he couldn't keep his mind off of her - though he had also refused to give her even the slightest thought. "And I will run. For as long as they let me run." He looked at the ground sadly. He felt strung up, like he had been placed in his own torture devices, shackles maybe, against a wall, or on a cross. He felt like he had nails in his hands and feet, making him immobile at all times. He felt tethered to everything he hated. He couldn't get away from life.
I need a reason I need to know just why You were my meaning Now its me you deny You're in my head tormenting me I need a beginning so baptize me Baptize me
He hated the fact that she was always there in his mind. He knew how she must have felt, when he would follow her home at night. He reflected silently on how she was always the one thing that meant something to him, even though she hated him. Well, maybe not hate, but fear for her life. That's right. He knew why. He might be scared shitless if he had tried to kill him. That made no sense, but he still thought it was worth keeping in his mind.
And she wouldn't leave his head. It was like she was a new voice that had manifested itself in his head. She was somewhat like a conscious for him. She told him not to do the things he did. Very rarely did he actually attempt at listening.
'You know, you could always go get some bullets for that gun.' He told himself, holding the cold piece of metal in his thin hands. He tossed the gun on the bed beside him. He couldn't believe that he didn't have anymore bullets. Where did they all go! He didn't use a gun THAT often. He couldn't stand to touch it most of the time.
Hole in myself Kills by degrees Gift of compassion You gave to me Blistered my hands On your beliefs I'm here waiting so baptize me
He hated remembering everything about Devi. He slammed his body down into the hard bed, and sighed deeply, staring up at the ceiling. A small smile formed on his lips.
'What are you smiling about?' Meat questioned from the dresser. Johnny propped himself up on his skinny elbows and eyed the figurine. The word DEVI was on the stomach this time. Johnny through the gun at the doll, barely missing it.
"I wont miss next time." He muttered, standing from the bed, and walking to the door.
'And, where might you be going? I seem to remember a time about three weeks ago that was awfully a lot like this… Are you going to see Devi?'
"I don't know where I am going. I might end up falling off a cliff, for all I know." Johnny explained, grabbing his trench coat, his backpack, and his walkman. Beethoven blared in his ears as he walked out of his house, not bothering to lock it.
You're in my head tormenting me I'm running scared in my time of need Cuts on my head cuts on my feet I'm here waiting...
He ended up at the cliff, where he and Devi had sat on their date. He glanced over the city, watching the lights flicker. Beethoven still blared in his ears. He felt someone tap him on the shoulder, and he whirled around, so fast, that it almost knocked him off his own feet.
He looked on in awe. Was he dreaming? He couldn't be.
"Hello Johnny."
FIN