Authors Note: I don't know where these things are coming from… Damn me for listening to too much music, and being a writer. Heh.
Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said But I didn't mean to hurt you
"That movie was… interesting." Johnny said as they neared his car. Devi laughed.
"Yes, quite interesting. I didn't like it that much, but it was good to get out. Thank you for coming with me, Nny." She said as she climbed into the passenger seat of his little grey-blue car.
"What now?" He asked as he started up the car. Devi shrugged slightly. "I had fun."
"As did I." Johnny sighed. He could almost hear MEAT's voice nagging him: 'Do it. Invite her over. Fall in love all over again. Kiss. You know… Beg for forgiveness.' He wanted to smash that little voice and that stupid figurine into a million tiny pieces, than smash those into a million more tiny pieces. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to Devi.
"Let's go to my place. I have something's I would like to show you." Devi said. Johnny nodded, and headed over to Devi's apartment.
They walked up the stairs, silently, not touching one another - when they did bump shoulders or elbows, or their hands touched, they would shrug, and continue walking.
Devi opened the door to her apartment, and walked in, gesturing for Johnny to do the same. He followed her in, and sat where she dictated him to sit - on the couch. It was a comfy couch. He snuggled in deep into the cushions. He was relaxed, something he never was when with another person.
Devi disappeared into one of the back rooms, and returned a few minutes later, carrying a few canvas' under her arm. She showed them to Johnny. They seemed to all be of him, with eyes, and hands. It scared him, and depressed him, that he had inspired her so much. He didn't want to be an inspiration to her.
"Forgive me…" He whispered.
"For what?" Devi asked, a little bit of sarcasm in her voice.
"Why did we go out tonight?" He asked, looking up. He had a bit of crazy in his eyes. Devi took a step back.
"I… don't… know." She said (imagine the way GIR says it when Zim first gets him. Yes. Like that.)
"And, if you don't know, how do you expect me to evaluate the situation at the moment? I'd like to think that you have forgiven me. But most of me says that that is impossible. Of course, this might just be a dream. I believe it is. Do you have a window?"
"Why?" She asked, looking at him.
"I am going to push myself out of the window. If it hurts when I hit the ground, then I know that it wasn't a dream. And I might die." Johnny stood.
"This isn't a goddammed dream, Nny. I am really here, and so are you." Devi yelled. She slammed her paintings down on the ground, and took those few steps to Johnny, grabbing his shoulders, and shaking him.
"Slap me." He demanded.
"Excuse?" Devi stepped back.
"I said, SLAP ME." Johnny yelled. She did. "Ow…"
"See? Not a dream." She scoffed out, slamming her body into the couch. Johnny sat next to her, and held his head in his hands.
"Please, forgive me." He requested.
"Doesn't this date mean ANYTHING to you?" Devi spat out. She beat at the couch-arm, cursing herself in her mind.
"I hurt you. I cant deny that fact. I scared the living daylights out of you. And here I am, and here you are… And you aren't trying to kill me with mace…" Johnny said, sitting back into the couch. Devi looked at him. "I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't think you would actually live through that night. I didn't think I would live through it, after you beat the shit out of me. I didn't want it to turn out this way. I fucked up. Just another time in my life where something good goes away because of something I do. I shouldn't have lived after that night…"
"Shut up." Devi said, grabbing his hand, and holding it.
"What?" Johnny looked at his hand in hers, and let a smile creep onto his face.
I heard the words come out I thought that I would die It hurt so much to hurt you
"I said, SHUT UP. You cant continue to beat yourself up over this stupid situation…" Devi said, glaring at him. He looked away, and up at the ceiling. He then turned his attention to the walls, which were covered with more paintings like the ones she had shown him - except for the creepy one of a doll type thing. Devi saw his eyes looking at it.
"It's name is SICKNESS." She said, looking at the painting.
"It's… interesting." Johnny sighed.
Then you look at me You're not shouting anymore You're silently broken
Johnny looked at Devi, and smiled. They both leaned in for a kiss, but Johnny stopped at the last second.
"You're leaving aren't you?" He asked, pulling back. Devi sighed. She looked around.
"The boxes gave it away, didn't they?" Johnny nodded. "I guess I wanted to see you before I moved."
"Why are you moving?" Johnny asked, looking at her with wide eyes.
"I don't know… I just… need a change of scenery."
"I understand that need." Johnny laughed. Devi gave a little chuckle, than stood from the couch. She walked around her living room, eying all of the boxes.
I'd give anything now to kill those words for you
Each time I say something I regret I cry I don't want to lose you.
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.
"Johnny…" Devi said, as she turned back to the couch. No one was there. He was gone. "Oh, Johnny."
'Cause you were made for me Somehow I'll make you see How happy you make me
"I am SO FUCKING STUPID!" He yelled at himself as he ran home. He stopped every once in a while to glare at the moon over head. When he reached his house, he was glad to be able to sit on his own couch, and think.
"Give her my nothing… Give her… my… nothing?" He questioned himself over again, one time after another. He couldn't stop questioning himself. "I just… want her to be happy." He confessed to the walls of his house. "I just want to be happy…"
'You cant be happy without feelings, Nny. Even I know that.'
"Shut up." Johnny muttered to the figurine that was conveniently placed on the table between the couch and the television.
So stay with me You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry..
"FUCK IT!" He went to his room, and grabbed his gun. "I hate these things… but sometimes, shit needs to be done." He grabbed his jacket again, and ran back to Devi's apartment - you see, he had left his car there.
When he got to her apartment, he noticed that the lights were off. 'She must be asleep,' he thought. He quietly walked up the steps, and picked the lock. She was lying on the couch, eyes closed.
"I am so fucking sorry…" He whispered as he placed the gun against the side of her head.
"Just… do it… Nny." She said in her sleep, and rolled over. He repositioned the gun. He didn't think she actually knew what was going on - sleeping minds never know the truth.
"I… love you." He whispered, and he pulled the trigger. Blood went everywhere, on his clothes, the wall, the couch. She was dead. He had finally annihilated the one thing that brought him happiness. He would never be happy again. Yet, a small smile crept across his face as he grabbed some of her paintings off the wall, and the ones off the floor. He quietly headed down to his car, taking one last look up at the window. As he looked into the darkness of the apartment, he swore he saw Devi, standing in the window, staring at him, her hand on the glass. The ghost-Devi smiled at him, waving with her other hand.
And you forgive me again You're my one true friend And I never meant to hurt you