Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto or Ah! My Goddess! If we did, you would see a lot more of Itachi! There would be many shirtless Itachi scenes… We know, we dream about it to.

A/N: This is a crack fic… deal with it!

Ah! My Big Fat Mouth!

"You realize there is no way you could possibly win." Stated Sasuke as he glared at Naruto from across the table.

"Oh, I think not!" Stated Naruto, glancing up at Sasuke.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "And what makes you so sure?"

A shit eating grin formed on Naruto's face. "Cuz Sasuke, you……. Have to…….. GO FISH!"

Sasuke grimaced as he drew another card.

Sakura slammed her head on the table and muttered, "Oh my god."

Holding her throbbing head in her hands, Sakura stated, "It's just Go Fish, what is wrong with you two?"

Naruto glared at her through the corner of his eye. "It's not just Go Fish anymore… It's war."

"You may have won this round dobe, but the game is still mine." Stated Sasuke as he looked through his cards.

"This is it. Life or death. Dress or no." This statement caught Sakura's attention.

"Dress or no?" Questioned Sakura.

Naruto threw a copy of the legal document of the bet right in Sakura's face. She poured over it. She looked up and said, "So, Naruto, if you lose you have to run around, wearing one of my dresses, screaming 'I'm a pretty princess'?"

Naruto grimaced. "It will not end that way!"

He immediately turned back to Sasuke. "This is it Sasuke, do you have….. Any twos?"

Sasuke glared at Naruto a moment, he then took a card form his hand and slammed it on the table in front of Naruto. "Damn you." He seethed silently.

Naruto smiles, "You lose Sasuke."

Sakura poured over the rest of the document. Questioningly, she states, "It says you have to go….buy and cook Ramen for Naruto tonight."

Sasuke glared at Naruto, "Yes."

Naruto smiled and pointed towards the door of his apartment. "Now go get my Ramen."

Sasuke stomped out, slamming the door behind him.

/ We now skip Sasuke's uneventful trip to the store and back. If you must know, the entire trip he was thinking to himself, "How could I lose to that idiot?" We now return you to the fanfic already in progress, Sasuke is now going to make Naruto some Ramen. Thank you /

"That Ramen had better taste good!" Came the shout of Naruto from the next room.

"Umm… Ok." Was the only response Sasuke could come up with has he stood in Naruto's kitchen, about ready to start making the Ramen.

Sasuke picked up the cup of Ramen and pulled the tab lid off. As he did, bursts of black and red confetti shot from the cup. Falling on his ass from shock, Sasuke looked up to find that the confetti had gathered together to form a woman.

The woman was sitting on the counter, staring down at him with an innocent smile on her white face. Yes, her skin was white. She had long black hair that had random things placed in it, such as clips, ribbons and braids. Her eyes were bright crystal blue, staring at him with joy. Her lips were gray and curved in a smile. On her forehead, there was a black star. She wore a black Victorian type dress, with the frilly sleeves and skirt that went a little past her knees. Over the dress, was a black leather corset. From the knee down her legs were covered with skin tight black pants. Her feet were adorned with huge black combat boots with torn up black laces. In her right hand was a black fan that was around two feet long. All together, she was an oddity. She continued smiling down at Sasuke. Then, closing her eyes, she giggled and said, "Greetings!" in a high pitched voice.

"Huh?" Sasuke managed to say as the girl giggled again.

"My name is Desirel, and in thanks for releasing from my imprisonment in the container of Ramen, I shall grant you one wish. It can be anything you desire!" She finished that statement with another giggle.

Just as Sasuke was about to say something, Naruto rushed in and yelled, "What the hell happened here?"

Desirel's large eyes narrowed as she held her fan like a baseball bat and hit Naruto with it, he went flying into a wall.

Sasuke stared in awe, and without realizing it said, "I wish you could stay here forever so I could see that again."

Suddenly, the star on Desirel's head glowed purple, as did her eyes. After a moment, the glow was gone.

"What just happened?" Asked Sasuke.

"Your wish was granted." Said Desirel in her high pitched voice. "I'm yours forever! Hug me!" She jumped down from the counter and spread her arms.

"No." Said Sasuke as he realized she was slightly taller than him.

"Hug me!" Desirel said.

"No."

Desirel smacked him upside the head with her metal fan.

"Hug me!"

"Ok…" Said Sasuke as he felt himself being crushed in a hug as the pain on the side of his head doubled. 'Me and my big fat mouth.' Thought Sasuke as he was released from the suffocating embrace.