47 Things That Will Never Happen
On X-men Evolution.
Another note from the author: this fic will not be updated during the week because of school/college. And now some review answers.
We have reviews?
Yes. Now lets get on with this.
Okay. Yaya bitchy fish, thanks we're glad your enjoying the symptoms of our insanity.
And Scarlet-Child don't worry the brotherhood teens will be out in force in later chapters.
On with the fic.
At The Institute
Wolverine is playing Tetris
Wolverine: Jean you're so dead for resetting the high score on Tetris.
Jean: I didn't do it, it was, um, it was, I DON'T CARE WHO IT WAS IT WASN'T ME
Wolverine: Don't lie. LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!
Jean: I don't know why you have to be so immature.
Wolverine: am I the person who reset the high scores because I can't take losing? No not this time anyway.
(Knock at door)
Ray: I'll get it!
Wolverine: Just don't break anything, kid.
(Ray answers the door and amazingly fails to break anything)
Ray: hey Wolverine, there's some chick at the door for you.
Wolverine: oh hell I hope she isn't here to kill me. (Goes to the door.) Oh, um, Hi there Nicolette
Nicolette: Hey there Logan, I was gonna try and kill you but I can't really be bothered, anyway you can have all this junk back cause it's takin' up too much room round my place. See ya.
Wolverine: Hey Nicolette do you, like, um, want to come in for a drink.
Nicolette: No sorry Logan but Trevor and I are going out for a meal what with me just dashing from the wedding reception and all.
Wolverine: who is this 'Trevor' of which you speak?
Nicolette: you know Wolver…um yeah well he's my bloke now I gotta go coz we've bin goin out since 1st grade. Bye.
(Nicolette wets herself)
Wolverine: Hey Nicolette you've wet yourself.
(Nicolette morphs into Mystique)
Mystique: Dammit I knew I shouldn't have got the cheap kind!(Mystique runs off)
Wolverine: hey get your ass back here where'd you get all my stuff? And I'm not cleaning that up!
The fanfic that will never happen will be back after these messages
Voice over: Are YOU a wet bed? Do YOU wet yours? I thought so.
SO BUY SUMO NAPPIES THE CRAPPIST NAPPIES IN TOWN (after use)
Crap voice over: If you don't want your summer to be lame and icky pick up the phone and call me I'm the REPAIR MAN.
Lady Deathsrike: my non-organic components were so annoying I couldn't even kick Logan's ass. The itching and burning was driving me crazy! So I tried Steele's Medicated powder for cyborgs, it worked like a charm, now I can kick ass again.
Cheesy ad guy: Steele's Medicated powder for cyborgs, use only as directed.
We now return to the fanfic that will never happen
At asteroid M
Havok: All right this party is gate crashed!
Nymrod: That's right we'll destroy you and you puny non-robot inferiorness.
(Havok and Bishop look really offended)
Hank: Nymrod? WHAAAT?
Bishop: Hey sounds like your not even acknowledging Havok or me. And besides Nymrod ain't even in this series nor am I.
Hank: and I'm not even supposed to be at this party.
Havok: Scott! Will you pay attention to me I'm your brother!
Cyclops: No! I hate you! You stole my Teddy. I can finally express how I feel about you. You are a big Poopoohead!
Magneto: how do all you people keep getting here?
Bishop: well this asteroid crashed to the earth decades ago. Well I'm gonna get back to my own series now.
Nymrod: affirmative.
We interrupt this fanfic for a special report
MYSTIQUE
HAS GOT
SOME OF THE RIGHT SIZE NAPPY KNICKERS!
We now return to our scheduled fanfic.
The next morning at asteroid M
Magneto: bye everyone. thanks for coming.
Everyone: yeah bye Magneto, great party.
Pyro: umm boss, they just ran off with our furniture.
Magneto: WHAT! Get back here you kleptos!
Cyclops: Run!
(Everyone scatters and disappears)
Magneto: Pyro go and get new mail order catalogue from Sabertooths room.
Pyro: Do it yourself boss I'm not going in Sabertooths room.
Meanwhile the X-men return to the institute with their stolen goods, in the Bayville high school female toilets a new villain is destroying the water supply, and Magneto searches Sabertooths room for the new mail order catalogue.