A/N: Thanks to those who deserve to be thanked, you know who you are. I do not own the characters and I know this would probably never happen in the show, but it was fun to write.

"Look up please."

Two brown eyes stared at the ceiling. What the hell am I doing here and why did I not shoot Greg when I had the chance at the firing range this afternoon?

"Good, now all that's left is your hair."

"What's wrong with my hair?"

The woman who was applying make up –too many layers of make up- smiled at her. "There's nothing wrong with it honey, you have beautiful thick hair, but it's just a tad too… mundane. It's television after all, we need you to look great."

Sara sighed and stared at herself in the mirror. Okay, so maybe make up doesn't look too bad on me when applied correctly, and maybe putting my hair up isn't the worst thing in the world…But I swear to God I'm going to haunt him and make him eat print powder.

"Okay," the woman beamed at her while helping her up. "You're all done, now if you walk with Jenny here, she'll take you to wardrobe and you'll be ready to find the man of your dreams. Good luck."

Sara smiled a fake smile and followed the bored looking blonde haired girl going by the name of Jenny out of the make up room and down the hall.

"Have you worked here long?" she asked, trying to break the silence.

"Yes."

Okay… Not a very talkative person.

"Hiiiiiiiii, you must be Sara, I'm Corinne and I will help you getting dressed today!" I think she swallowed pink fluffy bunny slippers this morning, she is definitely too bright.

Within mere minutes Sara was clad in tight light blue jeans and a dark green tank top. Two bracelets -too shiny for her liking- found their way to her left wrist and she was put in tan colored high heels.

"I think we're done here, sweetie," Corinne said while sending a wink her way. "I hope one of those guys out there is the man of your dreams."

"Thank you."

Sara once again followed Jenny through the hallways and backstage where she was fitted with a microphone and wire.

I do not want to do this, never ever make a bet with Greg, I do not want to do this, it just gets you into trouble, I do not want to do this, or on television, I do not want to do this.

She politely smiled at the hostess who looked vaguely familiar and felt no need to introduce herself and listened to the directions given to her by the stage director.
Sit on the chair, smile all the time, do NOT look at the camera and always address the hostess with "Lesley" which is apparently her name.

Ten minutes later she was positioned backstage, waiting for Lesley to give the opening speech and invite her on stage.

"Everybody, please give a hand to our bachelorette!"

The loud clapping sound could only have been prompted by 'applause' signs on the sides and Sara felt a large push in her back, practically sending her flying onto the stage.

"Our bachelorette has lived in California all her life and has now lived in Las Vegas, Nevada for six years. Now, bachelorette…" I have a name you know! "…we have changed the tone of the voices of our contestants, so that you don't get biased by a suave accent."

Sara nodded in understanding.

"You are allowed to ask one question to two different bachelors. Then you have to move on to a different question. You can ask six different questions in total. Are you ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready, Lesley."

"Go ahead then!"

Sara shifted uncomfortably in her chair, quickly scanning the public for Greg, whom she knew would be there.

He's having way too much fun for my liking. Look at him smirking at me. Yes, I will definitely feed him print powder next shift. Oh, maybe we'll have a decomp and I could make him trip.

"Okay, let's start with my first question," she said. "Are you a religious person?"

"Who do you want to ask this question?" Lesley asked, smile plastered on her face. Botox!

"Oh, I'm sorry. Bachelor number one."

She looked to the left, although there wasn't much to see there. A large pink screen divided the stage in two parts. One for her, and one for the contestants.

"When I was a little kid, I had to go to church every single Sunday. Nowadays I don't really have time to go there, but I do pray on occasion and I go to church on holidays."

Sara smiled, "Sounds good. Contestant number two?"

"I come from a very religious family and I still go to church whenever I can. God is very important to me."

Oh wow, he probably spends every spare minute in church…

"Okay. Question number two. Do you see children in your future? Contestant number two."

"Yes. I love kids and I definitely want them. I come from a big loving family and we always had a lot of fun. I'd love to have that for my kids too."

Right, someone who wants his wife to pop out kids her entire life.

"Contestant number three?"

He question was followed by silence and she absently tapped her knee waiting for a response. Greg was grinning like a fool and dividing his attention between Sara and the invisible bachelors on the other side of the screen. Too pink, definitely too pink.

"Well," came a hesitating voice, "I think most people take having children lightly. But, with the right woman… Yes, I can see myself being a father."

That's more like it!

"Well bachelorette, we'll give you some time to think about these questions and we will be back after the break."

Lesley smiled brightly into the camera until the director yelled cut. The row of teeth was immediately replaced with a irritated look. "Will someone give me a glass of water! Jeremy!"

Sara raised her brow at the woman who was probably in her mid-forties but trying to look twenty-eight. Well, at least I definitely won't be fooled. The director sent the make-up lady her way and then stepped over. "You are doing great Sandra."

"Sara."

"Right! Could you try to smile a bit more, look a little more sexy?"

Look sexy? Do I look like a centerfold to you? I'm sitting next to that botoxed, face-lifted monstrosity. I could wear my baggy pyjamas and still look better that her!

Sara nodded politely, produced a jaw aching grin and waited for the director to go back behind the cameras and get the show going again.

"Hi everybody, welcome back to 'The Dating Show', our bachelorette has already asked two questions and she has now four questions left."

Lesley gave Sara a small nod.

"Bachelor number three, what kind of music do you like?"

This time the response came sooner.

"I like different kinds of music. It depends on my mood. When I have to think I prefer music without lyrics, because lyrics distract me. When I'm at home, I like classic rock."

"That sounds really good," Sara said. "How about you, bachelor number one"
"I love jazz, I play the piano myself."

Hmm… A musician, and Jazz too! He and Warrick would probably get along great. Sara pulled her face into a huge grin again. Smile, you're supposed to smile and look sexy.

"Bachelor number two, who would you say is your favourite writer?"

I guess I should at least give spend-my-Sundays-in-church-with-my-overly-large-family-guy another shot… Right?

"I've read all John Grisham thrillers multiple times. What can I say, I like the mystery and I love solving crimes."

His last comment made Sara smile a genuine smile.

"And you, bachelor number three?"

Greg's eyes twinkled when they met Sara's and her desire to know what he was up to almost made her miss the bachelors answer.

"I would have to say… Shakespeare. He has written a wide variety of plays and stories and most writers from our time are inspired by him."

A hopeless romantic, well, well! Fireplace, Hamlet, wine…No Sidle, this is not the time to dream. For all you know he's the biggest jerk on the planet, and you might not even pick him anyway. Still…He reminds me of someone… Can't quite put my finger on it.

"Bachelorette?"

"Oh! Uh… Yes! Contestant number one. Are you a democrat or a republican?" Thank god for the make up, I'm sure the burning sensation in my cheeks is NOT just the lamps.

"I'm a democrat. To be honest, I don't think the current president is doing a very good job. I am hoping the democrats win the next elections."

Sara nodded and asked contestant number 2 the same question.

"I'm from Texas, so I guess that pretty much gives it away." Can I buzz this guy out… About… Right now? "I'm a republican," yeah I got that, "my whole family is. I think you can comment on both republicans and democrats, but republicans just fit me best"
Hm, okay, that explanation wasn't all that bad. But… Wait a minute! Texas…Large family… Grisham thrillers… NICKY?

"Okay, it's time for your final question. Think this one through before asking it okay?"

Sure, like I wasn't given the question cards about an hour before the show with no possibility of changing the questions. Not that those questions are all that bad, but who are we kidding here, right?

"I've thought about it Lesley, and I would like to ask contestant number one, what he would do on a date with me."

Am I pulling this sugar-sweet-woman act off or what?

"Well bachelorette, if you and I went on a date, I'd take you to a jazz club and dance with you all night. I'd then take you home and write you a song and who knows what happens next…"

How about… nothing?

"And you, number three?"

"I'm afraid I'm kind of boring. I don't go out a lot, I usually just read and watch documentaries, but, if I were to go on a date with you… I'd probably either take you to a nice restaurant or cook you dinner myself. We'd talk about our jobs and interests and maybe watch a movie together. At the end of the night I'd bring you home and if everything went well I'd ask you to go on a second date with me."

Wow.

"We'll see which one of our bachelors will have the chance to go on a date with this lovely young woman, after the break."

Okay, so… Three men. One makes me think of Warrick, one is so much like Nick it's frightening and number three…Well he does sound an awful lot like Grissom. Which would explain Greg's juvenile behavior in the audience over there…Then again… No way Grissom would participate in something like this… Would he?

"Oh wow, contestant number two really is yummy! Those brown hair and eyes and that rough Texan look going on… And is he tall or what?" she overheard Lesley say to her personal assistant.

"He's not as tall as number one though," Jeremy answered. Both snickered.

Brown hair, brown eyes, Texan, tall… And the other one even taller… Oh my God, it really is Nick and Warrick… And Grissom?

Lesley resumed her spot next to Sara and beamed in the camera.

"Welcome back to the final part of 'The Dating Show'. Our bachelorette is ready to reveal her choice. Now, bachelorette, you know how it works. First you eliminate the person you deem the least suitable for you, then you eliminate your second choice and ultimately your dream guy will be the one standing on the other side of the screen."

"Thank you Lesley." Be polite, be polite!

"Go ahead."

"Okay, the time has come for me to decide. The first bachelor I have to eliminate sounded like a very nice guy, we could probably be good friends, but I don't think he's really my type. Although religion does matter to me, I don't go to church every week. I don't think a large family would work for me. He did make me smile when he told me he liked to solve crimes, that's something we definitely have in common, but the fact that he's a republican ultimately broke the deal for me. So… bachelor number two, I'm sorry but I have to eliminate you."

Come on out Nicky.

The man walking around the screen was not by any means Nick, although he was tall, dark and handsome. You're not Nick but you're hoooooooooooooot! Hmm… Can I go back, I want to pick you! Would it be inappropriate if I gave you my phone number? Kissed you, mouth open? Can you say kitchen table? Meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

"Hi I'm Brendan," the very handsome man said with a southern drawl, "I'm sorry you didn't pick me."

Me too! "Nice to meet you Brendan." Sara gave him two kisses on the cheek and off he went.

Aww look at him go! Is he gorgeous or what? Oh… And the way he walks!

"So, who's up next?" Lesley asked.

"Wow, this is hard," Sara said, "because both of the two bachelors left sound great. Bachelor number one has the same view on religion as I have and he's a democrat, so that all sounds really good." Will both of them be as handsome as the cowboy man? I mean he didn't fit me at all, but a girl has to eat, right? "Number three likes Shakespeare -which makes me believe he's a romantic man- and he has thought the whole concept of having kids through very well. That's very important to me, I think too many people have kids without being ready for them. So I have things in common with the both of them."

Should I go with the guy who reminds me of Warrick, or stick with my old pattern and choose the one that makes me think of Grissom? I've been chasing Grissom for almost six years and look where it has lead me; sitting on a stool in a pink setting after losing a bet to Greg who is still having way to much fun for my liking. Yes, print powder and a decomp slip. I should follow my mind for once in stead of my heart. That guy on chair number three is not Grissom and number one is not Warrick. Mind over matter. Number one it is.

"This was a very hard choice for me." Go with number three Sidle, follow your heart. "Both men are undoubtedly great and I think both of them would be great to date." It's not Grissom, pick number one.

"However… When I asked the men what they would do on a date with me both gave very different answers. I live a very busy life, I don't have much free time. When I do have the time to be home, I like peace and quiet. I have to eliminate number one." Atta girl!

Bachelor number one walked around the sheet and it took all of Sara's efforts not to burst out laughing. Tall? My ass! Danny DeVito could pat this guy on the head. Behave Sidle!

"My name is Gary, it's very nice to meet you."

"Yes, you too, Gary." Do not laugh, I repeat do not laugh. The pens in his breast pocket and the severe lack of hair might be somewhat comical, but laughing at people is not polite.

Sara bent forward and planted two kisses on Gary's cheeks. And he smells too.

The short man smiled shyly and walked out of sight. Oh thank God he's gone.

"Bachelorette, please stand next to the screen to meet the man of your dreams." Okay, he doesn't have to be as cute as number two, but at least let him look better than the last guy, I don't think I could get through dinner without bursting out laughing if it's Gary's ugly twin.

She stood next to the screen, extremely aware of the fact that the man she'd go on a date with was standing a mere foot away from her. All that kept them apart was that stupid pink screen. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. It'll be okay, it's going to be okay, at least you get to kill Greg and dispose of his body without anybody ever finding it.

She shot Greg -who was beaming at her and sending her two thumbs up- an angry glare.

"Sara Sidle," please God let him be at least a little interesting, "meet our bachelor," I want to go back to bachelor number 2, "Gil Grissom."

She's kidding right? Open your eyes Sara, look to the left.

She opened her eyes slightly and turned her head to be met by an equally baffled Grissom.

Grissom! What on earth are you doing here?

"You two win a romantic dinner at a Las Vegas restaurant of your choice," Lesley beamed.

"Oh."

"Kiss!" the blonde hostess hissed under her breath.

"Right," Grissom stammered, taking a step forward.

Oh my God, it's Grissom and he's going to kiss me. Why do there have to be cameras?

"Way to go Sara!" she heard Greg shout.

Grissom stood across from her, pink around the edges. He took a step toward her and both of them inhaled.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Don't ever take Greg up on a bet." His eyes twinkled.

"I'm very aware of that," Sara muttered.

His hands landed on her hips and his mouth softly tickled her cheek. "Thanks for picking me."

She turned her face toward his so that their noses were practically touching. "I always would, I always have," she whispered. You just never chose to believe me.

He leaned into her and softly grazed her lips with his.

Oh, this is good. He is good…

He gave her a soft peck then leaned back and whispered in her ear, "Wanna kill Greg together?"

"I was going to, but now… I'm not so sure."

I'm not sure of anything right now, except that I want you to kiss me you idiot!

"Hm, yeah, me too."

Their mouths linked and sparks ran through her body. Don't you dare ever stop.

"So… Sara, Gil," Lesley interrupted. Damnit! "Enjoy your evening out and let us know how you are doing!" She then turned to the camera. "Thank you for watching 'The Dating Show' and remember, if you ever think you'll never ever find someone. Call 'The Dating Show' and we will find you the man or woman of your dreams. Thanks for joining us, see you next week."

The crowd burst into another round of applause and Sara looked at Grissom. I guess it's my turn now. She stepped closer to him, wrapped his arm around his neck and sought his mouth. His hands roamed her back and pulled her closer. Her lips parted and her tongue softly licked his lips before meeting him halfway. Ohh…

She vaguely heard Lesley say that they "could stop pretending now" but both her and Grissom didn't respond.

I followed my heart, it got me the man of my dreams and I won't let him go this time.

Grissom slowly released her and looked her in the eye. "Dinner?"

"Your place or mine?"