Alex and Izzie just stare at her. Alex looked at her in a bit of stunned silence. Then he tilted his head, and his eyes grew soft for her, but it did nothing to quell the storm that was inside of her. On the other hand, Izzie still stared at her in shock with her jaw on the floor. Jo looked at her for a second before she looked back at Alex. Everything that she wanted to say, she wanted to say to Alex, alone. She didn't care about Izzie Stevens.

"You need to get out. This is between my husband and me," Jo said through gritted teeth as she glared at her.

"No, I think I have every right to stay. I have a stake in all of this. Alex and I have kids together," Izzie started to protest, standing up and crossing her arms.

"I said get out," Jo said, pointing to the door and standing her ground.

"Izzie," Alex spoke for the first time, although he stared at her before his eyes glanced at Izzie. "Just give us a moment, please."

His words were soft in a way that he used to be with her and it only makes her angrier. His kindness was directed at Izzie and not her, and it wasn't fair. Still, Jo waited to unleash her anger on him until she left. Izzie got up and walked past her, glaring at her the entire way before she left. Jada gave her a simple nod and a small knowing smile as she closed the door behind them. Jo turned and locked the door as well. She didn't want to be interrupted in the speech she had for him.

The second Alex heard the click of the lock, he uttered the first words he had said to her in nearly a month. "Jo, what are you doing?"

Jo looked deep into his eyes. She saw a lot of things in them, desperation, sadness, love, but none of those things she was ready to receive. Instead, she reached into her bag and pulled out the letter and the stack of divorce papers that he had so neatly sent to her.

"Dear Jo," Jo said as she started reading bits and pieces of the letter out loud. As if saying his words back to him would stir something inside of him and make him realize everything that he was walking away from.

"The last thing on earth I wanna do is hurt you, but I'm leaving…. this letter? It's officially the worst thing I've ever done. But it's about me, Jo. It's not about you…. I love you, but I'm in love with Izzie… Izzie had my kids and I know you get what that really means…. When I asked you to marry me, I meant it. When I told you I love you, I meant it…. But Izzie has our kids, Jo…. I can't face you. I can't look you in the eye because I wouldn't be able to walk away…. I hope you find so much better than me. I don't know how to end this. I don't want to. Goodbye."

By the time she got to his goodbye, tears had collected in her eyes, and she could barely see his messy handwriting. She looked up and Alex was just hanging his head in shame. He wouldn't even look at her. He wouldn't look her in the eye and that was the worst part of it all.

"That's it!" Jo said as she finally let herself yell at him. "That's the end of our marriage, our lives together, our family?"

She paused as she waited for him to respond, but Alex just shrugged. "I'm sorry, Jo."

"But you're not, you're not sorry, because if you were, you wouldn't have left me like this. Seven years. I've known you for seven years. We've been together for six, I married you two years ago. I've had your last name for two years, and you married me again six months ago. I want more than a letter and the words, I'm sorry," Jo screamed, as the tears started to stream down her face, and she tossed the letter and divorce papers at him, but the letter just ended up flying around the room.

Alex was silent as she waited for a beat. He still didn't look at her, so Jo screamed. "Look at me!"

And Alex did. He looked at her with those honey brown eyes that she knew all too well. He always looked at her with such softness and such love, and there was a hint of that in his eyes now, amidst the heartache. His eyes had comforted her and loved her. One look from him and she would know that she was loved by him. Now all she saw was the same look of regret and sadness that was in his eyes when the police arrested him after he assaulted DeLuca. They made it past that, he worked to be better, and he proved himself to her. Yet, Jo didn't know if they could make it past this.

"You were gonna take a plea deal for me, so I wouldn't have to testify and risk Paul finding me," Jo said, remembering all the times that Alex was there for her. "You supported me when I divorced him and you protected me. You were willing to move across the country without hesitation when I got the fellowship at Mass Gen. You encouraged me to do it. You never gave up on me, even when I pushed you away in the midst of my depression. You sent Link and Meredith to take care of me. Where's that guy?! Where's my husband, my Alex? The man who didn't take the out when I gave it to him while I was in treatment. Instead, he proposed to me again, he married me again, and said for better or for worse."

Jo paused for a second to glare at him as he took in her words. He didn't look away from her again, although she could see shame fill his eyes. There was a sense of regret between them, but still, neither of them moved. Alex just sat there, frozen at his desk, staring at her, so she continued.

"And you, you've done this to me a dozen times before. You've pushed me away, but I always came back because I love you, and I want to fight for you, for us. Did you really think I would let you push me away? That I wouldn't track you down and talk to you first? That I would let you leave me?"

Jo paused again and Alex just looked at her. Finally, he whispered. "No."

His single word took her breath away as she froze and stared at him. It was what she had wanted him to say when she first set out to Kansas. A simple acknowledgment that the life they had together wasn't all a lie. That he would take this chance to try and make things work between them.

"I know you, Jo. I knew that after you got the letter, you would do this," Alex said, gesturing to her as he finally stood up and walked around his desk to stand in front of her. "I knew that you would come find me and confront me. That you would beg me not to leave you and to go back home with you, but I can't. I can't, Jo."

And there it was. The harsh reality that none of her actions could change. With those two words, she felt like he dropped her glass heart and left it shattered on the floor. She felt like she should have seen this coming, but she didn't. She believed that he would choose her, but he didn't.

"Because of your kids and Izzie?" Jo whispered, she wanted to look away from him, but she couldn't. She was desperate to read his body for any sign that it wasn't true.

"I have to stay for my kids. They deserve to have a dad who is there for them 24/7. Who does school work with them and goes to soccer games," Alex said as he pleaded with her to understand.

"And movie nights and book reports, I know," Jo finished as she looked down and put a hand on her stomach as her nausea came back.

She closed her eyes and let her tears fall. It was silent again as they both looked away. Jo's tears streamed down her face as she silently cried and she reached out to wipe them away with her hands. Although they kept coming like rain on her cheeks. When she looked up, she saw Alex crying now too. Big fat tears rolled down his cheeks and he didn't bother to hide them or brush them away.

Jo took in a breath and swallowed down a lump in her throat as she gave him one last chance. "Tell me you don't want to work this out. Tell me to go and I'll sign the divorce papers and I'll leave."

"I can't," Alex whispered, tears falling down his face as he looked up at her with the same amount of desperation in his eyes. "I love you, and I don't want to divorce you, but I can't go home with you. I need to make things work with Izzie and be a family with her, for our kids."

"So you are picking her over me," Jo sobbed, as her face contorted into a grimace, and it took everything inside of her not to break down and fall apart then and there.

"I don't want to, but I have to. It's what's best for the kids, for my kids," Alex said it like he was trying to convince himself, as much as he was trying to convince her.

"What about me? What about me, and our family, and our kids? You said you wanted to have a baby with me, have a family with me," Jo said, emphasizing her words and trying so desperately to make him remember the promises he made to her.

She was supposed to be by his side, be a family with him, the two of them together. Alex looked away from her, more tears falling from his eyes as she cried openly. He stared at the walls like he always did when he was thinking. She knew him so well and she could see the way his mind worked. The way he was thinking of the things to say to her. She didn't know what it was, but she clung to the hope that he would say that he did love her. That he wanted to be a family with her, that he wanted a baby with her. But the moment he looked back at her, she could see it in his eyes that he was going to break her heart all over again.

"Please don't be in love with someone else, please don't be in love with her," Jo begged him one last time.

"I slept with her, Jo. I slept with Izzie," Alex said, staring at her with those brown eyes, and she could see the hurt and the heartache in them as he regretfully admitted it. "I've been sleeping with her since, since I got here."

"No," Jo whispered, it can't be true, it can't be. "No, you wouldn't, you would never…."

"But I did," Alex said, glancing down at the floor as the truth started to sink in.

"Six years. Six years and you've never so much as looked at another woman and now you tell me that you slept with her? While we were married!" Jo screamed at him now, unwilling to hold back her anger and her disbelief. "You cheated on me, and you tell me you slept with her while we're still married. We're still married now and you're telling me you want her!"

"I'm sorry," Alex said like he was desperate to take it back, but his words were nothing to her now.

"Because you're cheating on me? Yeah, you better be sorry," Jo sneered, although her lips trembled and more tears appeared in her eyes.

"I'm sorry I betrayed you like this," Alex said, and she knew he truly meant it, but it didn't change what he did. "It was never my intention to do this, it just happened and I've tried to make this as easy for you as I could."

"Easy, you think any of this is easy for me, Alex?" Jo said, throwing her arms out.

"No, but I sent the letter because, because I do love you, Jo, I do. I know I had to break your heart, and I thought that, that if I just sent a letter, you would…. I don't know, I just, I thought that it would be easier than if I had shown up and handed you the divorce papers and said it was over. I just wanted to make this as easy for you as I could because I love you enough to try and spare you some of the hurt in all of this."

Jo stared at Alex as things fell silent again. She could see the truth in his eyes and she believed him. She believed him when he said he wanted to make this easy for her. To spare her from the hurt she was facing now. She believed him when he said that he loved her. Still, she didn't want it to be easy. She wanted the truth and now she had it. She took a deep breath and wiped her face, clearing the tears away that had barely stopped falling.

"Was it all a lie?" Jo asked him because she had to know. "Were you secretly hoping that Izzie would come back all this time? Was I just a placeholder for her?"

"No," Alex said in an instant like he was desperate to make her believe him, and she did. "I loved you with all of my heart, Jo. I swear that it was only ever you. You were never a placeholder or second best to anybody. I love you, I, I still do and I meant every promise that I ever made to you."

"Just not our wedding vows, I guess," Jo said with a shrug.

A look of pain flashed across his face as his lips parted and she realized how bitter her words were. Yet, at this point, she didn't care that she hurt him as much as he was hurting her.

Jo gave herself a moment to be filled with sadness, and hurt, and anger, and to let all of her emotions out through her tears. She closed her eyes as her tears overwhelmed her and the lump in her throat became too large for her to speak again. A silent river of tears fell, and she didn't have the strength to brush them away again.

Then she took a deep breath. She had to collect herself until she could go home where she could have a proper breakdown because if she did that now, she would never get off the floor of his office. He didn't deserve to see her broken, to know that he broke her. He didn't get to do that. Then after that, she would rise, she would amend the divorce papers, and send them back to him. She meant what she said to Link that she would rise so high she would make him a fool for ever leaving her. She remembered all the love that he used to have for her. She was going to take that love and go back to Seattle and pour that love into herself and someone else. Even if he broke her heart, she would put it back together on her own.

Jo opened her eyes, but she didn't look at Alex. Instead, she looked at the floor and reached down to pick up the divorce papers. Unlike the scattered pages of the letter that had fallen around them like snowflakes, the divorce papers were thick and sat at her feet as she picked them up.

"I'll have my lawyer look them over and add a few things. Then I'll send them back to you," Jo said as she picked up the papers and put them back into her bag.

"You don't have to add anything," Alex said, that softness was back in his voice and she could tell that he was still trying to make this easy for her.

"I do," Jo whispered, losing her voice again as she looked up at him.

She waited for him to notice. It was so obvious that everyone back in Seattle had figured it out already. Hell, Jada had guessed it, even though Jo had lied to her. She was 12 weeks pregnant and the changes their baby brought to her body were undeniable. Her breasts were swollen and she had gone up two cup sizes already. Her cheeks had rounded out as she was starting to gain weight now. Most of all, she had a bump, a small round protruding belly that was physical evidence that their baby was growing inside of her.

She placed one hand over her belly in a way that most mothers did, but Alex didn't notice. He looked at her, he saw her standing in front of him, but he didn't see their baby, and that was the worst part of it all. His eyes lingered on her and she thought for sure he would notice, but he didn't.

Alex looked away from her, breaking her heart again with a simple. "Okay."

Jo couldn't take it anymore. She bit her lip to hold back the tears that threatened to overtake her. She wanted to tell him, but she didn't know how. The words got stuck under the lump in her throat. She would tell him eventually, but she couldn't tell him in this moment.

It was easy to turn away from him now. Easier than she thought it would be, as she reached for the door and unlocked it. She pulled it open and wasn't surprised to see Izzie and Jada in the hallway along with a dozen other staff members. They all quickly turned away and pretended to look busy, but Jo didn't care that they heard every word. She didn't spare Izzie a second glance as she quickly rushed out. Jo walked as fast as she could to the elevator and ran out of the hospital and across the snow cold parking lot to her rental car.

She clutched her bump, holding their baby as if it would spare them from the pain of their father's rejection. Still, her little one seemed to know what was going on and made her stomach churn, She barely made it to the grass before she threw up again, but it was all water and bile now. Jo leaned over with her hands on her knees as she cried and vomited in the snow. She felt a warm hand on her back and for a second she thought that it was Alex. That he had come back to her and that he was going to stay with her.

But instead, it was just Jada's warm words that reached her ear. "There, there, honey. I'm sure your little one is just as upset as you are, but they'll be okay because they've got a strong Mama who's going to take care of them."

Jo didn't deny it this time, as she stood up and leaned against the hood of the car. Jada quietly offered her a tissue and a bottle of water. Jo took it with a simple thank you as she thought about Jada's words. Link, and Meredith, and everyone back home had assured her that she was going to be fine. That she was going to be a good mom and everything would work out, but there was always a hint in their words that Alex would come back once he found out about the baby. A part of her still believed that that was true. She knew Alex enough to know that he would do anything for his kids. She knew he was going to be there for them, but that didn't change the fact that he wasn't coming back to her, and now she didn't want him to.

"Please don't tell anyone that I'm pregnant. I'm going to tell Alex soon enough and I don't want him to hear it from anyone else," Jo said as she glanced at her.

"Alright," Jada said, giving her a simple nod, although Jo didn't quite believe her.

Jada got paged but gave Jo a packet of crackers before she left. She got in her car and turned on the seat warmers and out the heat on high as she shivered in the cold Kansas winter. She put a hand on her belly as she looked down at her bump.

"It's just you and me now, kiddo," Jo said as she affectionately rubbed her thumb over them. "But we'll be okay because I'm gonna take care of you. I'm gonna make sure you're okay and that you have as good of a life as I can give you. And your Daddy will be there for you too, although he and I won't be together. I know that the first part of your life has been filled with a lot of sadness, but from now on, you and I are going to chase happiness. I promise you that."

She couldn't feel her baby move inside of her, and she probably wouldn't for a couple more weeks, but her nausea finally subsided, and the lump in her throat went away as she smiled down at them. Jo looked back at the hospital one last time, and she almost didn't see him, but then she spotted his familiar frame standing on the second floor overlooking the parking lot. He was watching her. She didn't know for how long, but he didn't chase after her, he just watched her. Jo took a deep breath and let it out. She decided that she was done letting him hurt her.

"Come on, let's go home," Jo said to her baby as she put the car in drive and went home.

AN: Before you kill me, just remember that there are four more chapters!