****
Disclaimer: The original Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to
Gainax. This particular plot deviation was constructed by me, JJ Corley,
and has been dubbed an 'Alternate Universe (AU)'. Therefore, the term
Alternate Universe or AU shall serve as my disclaimer for any future
posting of this series which lack this disclaimer. Please do not
sue me, for if you do you'll only get a few bucks and an old 486DX
with a copy of edit.com. What A Prize. I've made my point.
****
Ludicrous Configuration! Productions
Presents
A Neon Genesis Evangelion Alternate Universe
By JJ Corley
"What IF God was one of us, eh? You'd be ridin' the subway, all
honkey-doory, and some bearded dude bumps into ya, and you're all like
'Hey, watch it pal!' and give 'em the bird. And then, Bamph! You're like
this pile of ash with eyes as God tips his hat and says 'Excuse me,
asshole'. That would suck!"
Evangelion: Honor's Duty
Maya looked around. This was her chance. The lab was completely
void of all personnel, save for herself and Ritsuko. Tonight, she could
finally ask her beloved Sempai to dinner!
Taking a deep, calming breath, she strode forward, determination
echoing in her wake. "Sempa-"
"Doctor Akagi."
Maya eeped and skuttled backwards.
"Oh, good. You're finally here, Commander Ikari."
Maya glumly went back to her station as the two began to talk
about giant bolts, Angel remains, and things that go *ping*. She began
to think dark thoughts.
`Damn, stupid, jerk Ikari.. always ruining my plans!` She grit
her teeth and groaned. "Oh, why must the world be such a cold, dark, and
lonely place? Why? Wh-"
*Riiing*
Maya blinked at the phone. It responded by ringing at her again.
Muttering vague curses at, for, and about Gendou, she picked it up.
"Hello, Nerv, Lab B, sub-section twelve, level 14, box A, route fou- oh,
hell. What?"
"Give. Me. Ritsuko."
Maya blinked again. "Captain Katsuragi?"
"GIVE. ME. RITSUKO! NOW!"
Maya "Yipe!"ed, fell over backwards, and scrambled on all fours
over to where Gendou and Ritsuko had been absorbed in a few things,
hiding behind the blond doctor and pulling on her lab coat. "Sempai! I'm
scared!" She pointed at the phone in her hand as her commanding officers
gave her a blank look. "M-m-misato's mad about something!!" she
whimpered.
Ritsuko looked from her watch to the phone, and sighed. "'Bout
time.." She said as she took the offending object from her unnerved
assistant. "So, what's wrong, Misato?"
"YOU! WHAT'S THE BIG IDE-"
"Shinji will be staying with us, Captain. That's final."
"..." She paused, "..but WHY?"
In the background, Shinji could be heard saying "{Really, I
don't mind at all.}"
"Quiet, you!"
"Misato. We have jobs. We need to be at our jobs to save the
world. Not to mention earn money for your beer budget, right?"
"Of course! What els-"
Ritsuko cut in. "When Rei gets out of the hospital, she'll need
someone to look over her during the day, and we can't ignore our
responsibilities here! Shinji is the logical choice."
Misato's voice dropped down a bit. "But, Rei likes him! I can
tell. What if..?"
"They have sex? Do the wild thing? Enjoy themselves a bit?"
"Err.. yeah."
Ritsuko ignored the glare Gendou was giving her. "As long as
it's of mutual consent, I don't mind."
"They're sixteen, for christsakes!"
Ritsuko sighed again. "They also hold the fate of humanity in
their hands. The world's continued existence is placed on their
shoulders. Who are we to tell them not to enjoy themselves during what
little time we may have left?" After a moment of silence, she continued.
"Face it captain. One or both of those kids may die during these trying
times. If they want to find happiness in each others arms, who the hell
are we to tell them no?"
"Yeah.. but.."
"But?"
"He's hitting on me!"
Ritsuko began to laugh.
[_}~`\-/'~{_] Neon Genesis Evangelion: Honor's Duty
^ " ^ Stanza Four: Livin' La Vida Local.
As she closed her cel phone and turned to face a rather
nonplussed Shinji, Misato bowed slightly. "Err.. Sorry. I don't mean
that I don't want you with us.."
"Funny," He said in a flat tone. "That's what it sounds like."
"Ah heh heh.. Sorry.."
Shinji shrugged. "It's ok. I mean, you just met me twelve hours
ago, and.. who knows? I may be some kind of peeping tom or something."
"Are you?"
Shinji folded his arms, looking indignantly off to the side. "Of
course not! I have some honor, you know. I would never spy on anyone
without them knowing about it."
Misato, eyebrow raised, Hummed softly to herself. "Izzat
so?"
"However," He continued, "if I make a dissembling remark in
passing that might be somehow construed as a declaration of peeping, and
you don't recognize it for what it is, that's your problem, right? I
meant, I _am_ an Ikari. Half-truths and mind games are our specialty."
Misato sweatdropped. "umn.. Glad to hear it. Now, come come, we
have stuff to buy for the party and we need to get you settled in." She
said, going around him and pushing from behind.
"I can walk, you know."
"But you look so statuesque!"
[_}~`\-/'~{_]
^ " ^
"What am I supposed to do..? How do I handle this..? I'm his
mom, but at the same time, I'm not!"
"..."
"It's just so confusing! I love him, but what can I do about it?
Isn't being with him, when it's me, like incest?"
"..."
"I mean, it might not come to it, but.. if I'm around him too
much.. you know, I may just.." she blushed, "And he may just.."
"..."
"..are you even listening to me?" Rei asked of her guest.
"..yes." came the emotionless reply.
Rei shuddered and leaned back into the hospital bed, her gaze
traveling from her guest, who was no better off than she was in physical
condition, to the bedside table, and the small white flower the other
girl had brought with her. "Thank you.. for the rose.. and for
listening.. I feel better now."
Her guest got to her feet, and strode quickly and silently
towards the door. She opened it with the hand not in a sling, stepped
through, and stopped -turning her bandaged head slightly. "If you wish
to be with him, then do so. Current standings belie any moral
assumptions you have on this matter.." She paused, turning to look at
Rei once more with a single crimson eye. "Do what makes you happy."
"Kizuko.. I'll try."
Kizuko Ayanami, the second Rei, nodded once and closed the door.
[_}~`\-/'~{_]
^ " ^
*Skreeeeeeeeeeee-Kerplunk!*
Yet another 90 degree parking job courtesy of Misato. Shinji,
who had yet to get used to such things, pulled his body from the door
and attempted to get out of the car. The door opened slightly, then
stopped.
"Misato?"
The older woman, who was already out and grabbing groceries,
stopped and looked over the trunk at him. "Yeah?"
"Too close to the wall."
She winced. "Oops, sorry. Ritsuko has her own car and I don't
ride with passengers much."
"I can tell.." Shinji said as he crawled through the driver's
side and to freedom. Car + Misato = Speedy 4-Wheeled Coffin.
Shinji looked around himself. It was a nice high-rise apartment
complex, with the rooms built around an open rectangular courtyard, a
skylight twelve stories above. Each floor had 24 apartments, with a half
wall and guard rail on the upper level corridors. The courtyard had been
arranged so that it was part garden, part parking, and part snack shack.
"Shinji.." He turned to look at Misato. "Heads up!"
One, two, three grocery bags were caught and he looked at her
blankly. "You could have asked me to carry them instead of throwing them
at me, you know."
"Just testing your reflexes."
He sighed, looking inside the bags he carried to the food
within. "And now I suppose you want to test my culinary skills, as well?"
The trunk clicked shut and Misato walked towards the apartment
complex, another three bags in her arms and Shinji in tow. "Well,
Ritsuko and I have an agreement.. she cooks and I clean. But, I'm sure
that if you want to fix dinner, she wouldn't mind." She stopped and
pressed the call button for the elevator, and it pinged open instantly.
She stepped inside.
And waited. "Arn't you getting on?"
Shinji gave the elevator a dubious look. "I've been in one too
many metal boxes today. There's some stairs over there. What floor?"
"Are you sure you want to do that, Shinji?"
"Yes. What floor."
"Tenth."
Shinji looked to the stairs. `Uh uh.. no way am I walking up
that many stairs.` He looked to the inside corner, and followed it with
his eyes up to the tenth floor, nodding. `I'll do it the fun way, then.`
He placed the bags into the elevator and smiled. "See you at the top."
Misato sighed. "Well.. don't be too long about it.. I'm not
going to wait forever, you know. Apartment nine twenty two.."
Shinji nodded again, waiving as the doors closed on Misato. He
then ran for the corner, and leapt straight up, landing on the 2nd floor
railing, startling an elderly gentleman sitting across from it. Before
the old man could say anything, Shinji was gone, having jumped to the
third.
[_}~`\-/'~{_]
^ " ^
Ritsuko was about to swipe her key card through the reader and
unlock the front door when two things happened. One, the elevator gave a
pleasant *Bing*! as it opened, revealing Misato. Two, and more
surprising, Shinji suddenly landed on the guard rail directly across
from her. She watched him pause, then hop down and walk towards the
elevator, grabbing a handful of bags.
"Damn, you beat me," He said.
Ritsuko calmly walked over to the railing and looked down,
meeting the unbelieving stares of those who were looking up after the
young martial artist's passing. Misato did the same.
Shinji joined them a moment later. "Oi, whatcha lookin' at?
Oh.." He gave a sheepish grin to those below. "Err.. Sorry 'bout that.."
"Shinji.. You didn't.. jump up here, did you?" Asked Misato in a
small voice.
"Not from ground, no. Had to do it diagonally from floor to
floor, see.. I could have gotten here in one leap, if you lived on the
second or third floor, but.. err.." He stopped as both women gave him an
odd look. "What?"
"Nothing. I need to sit down.." Ritsuko said, shaking her head,
while Misato opted for a more conventional saying.
"I need a beer.."
[_}~`\-/'~{_]
^ " ^
"So then.. this is our Enemy.." Fuyutsuki said in awe.
Gendou poked it with a stick. "Not so tough now, are you,
Sachiel?"
The Angel, being quite dead, couldn't tell Gendou to bugger off.
"You there!" Fuyutsuki called to the tech crew above them. "How
goes the removal of the core?"
"Almos-" *ClunK* "Ok.. we are done."
The large platform descended, and the techs made room for the
Commander and Sub-Commander. Gendou removed his gloves, pressing his
scarred hands against the warm, slick surface of the S2 organ.
"Excellent.. It is in almost perfect condition.."
"Yes, save for the minimal amount of degradation due to the host
being deceased." Fuyutsuki agreed. He turned to one of the techs. "Is it
still active?"
"As near as we can tell, with the equipment and knowledge we
have.." she said, holding up a voltmeter and pressing the probes to the
S2 organ, "No sir, it is not. It seems to have gone into a type of..
stand-by mode, we think. No radiation or gasses are being released.. and
it's currently thirty two degrees Celsius, with a water content of 80%."
She gave it a look. "If it had stripes, I'd say it was a big
watermelon."
"And you can tell all that by using a voltmeter?"
She nodded. "It can even project an approximate hair loss ratio
due to stress and genetics. Wonder of modern technology, ain't it, sir?"
Fuyutsuki was sorely tempted to use it on his head, but was
saved by his master's call. "Yes'sir?"
"Contact the third Nerv branch in the US.. and tell them to
expect a delivery."
"The third, sir..? Why not the second, in Germany? Some of our
top researchers are there. Or, why not just examine it here?"
"I am more concerned with what SEELE would do if they had access
to research derived from this."
(Somewhere in Germany, a certain Kaji Ryouji sneezed. Keel
handed him a Kleenex. "Gezunhiet. Now, what was that about Unit One's
pilot?")
Fuyutsuki nodded. "Probably dance a jig."
"Indeed. A merry Irish jig, over our graves." Gendou slid his
glasses back up. "A condition neither of us want."
"Uh huh. But the Committee has spies in Nerv-Three as well."
"Yes, but they are American. And what do Americans do with
important information..?"
Fuyutsuki chuckled. "Blackmail you and keep quiet if you pay."
"Exactly." He nodded to the techs as he pulled his gloves back
on. "Box it up."
The two turned and headed out of the containment bay.
"Gendou equals Genius."
"Why, thank you."
[_}~`\-/'~{_]
^ " ^
Shinji blinked. "It's a penguin."
Ritsuko had slumped into an overstuffed chair in the corner next
to the TV, while Misato had hit the left fridge and gotten a beer before
plopping down on the spacious sofa. Shinji, after noticing the general
lack of room in the left fridge (50 gallons of beer?! I bet she likes
shrimp too..), had asked about the right one. Enter Pen-Pen.
"Ya!" Misato smiled, pulling the can of Yebisu from her lips to
speak, "He's an ex.. extremely rare, brand new hot-spas penguin!"
Ritsuko gave her a look, which Shinji missed. "His name's Pen-Pen, play
nice now."
"Wark!"
"Nice to meet you too.." Shinji shook his head, placing the bags
on the kitchen counter. Soon after, sounds of a meal being prepared
wafted through the house. Ritsuko sighed.
"This is nice.. a meal being made -and for once, I'm not the one
making it." The blonde scientist looked to the kitchen, and seeing
Shinji was out of hearing, leaned towards Misato, "Nice save.. Why
didn't you tell him the truth?" She whispered to her.
Misato snorted into her beer, giving her roommate an odd look.
"An jus what am I suppos' ta say?" Came the muffled reply, "Oi, Shin-
chan, our pet is an ex-science experiment turned lab rat who was drugged
and thrown in a garbage can before I saved his sorry ass?"
By her side, Pen-Pen gave an indignant squawk and waddled back
into his fridge.
"I'd hoped you could have put it in a slightly more tactful
manner, but.. more or less."
From the kitchen, amidst the periodic *Chopchopchop*ing,
Shinji's voice floated to them. "It doesn't matter to me where you got
him, having a penguin as a pet is kinda cool. Sorry to hear about his
past, though."
"You heard that?" Ritsuko had to laugh at the look of complete
disbelief plastered on Misato's face.
A sharp hiss of a hot pan meeting cold food flared, followed by
"Of course I heard you." Then, "Hey, Ritsuko.. how's Rei?"
"super hearing or something.." Misato muttered as her friend
took over the conversation.
"Quite fine, she'll be home within the next few days. I think
Kizuko visited her this afternoon."
"Kizuko? Who's that?"
"The designated pilot of Unit Zero." Ritsuko answered.
All sounds of meal preparation stopped. Shinji came out of the
kitchen, a Wok in one hand, a spoon in the other, and a disgruntled air
about him. "...the.. what?"
Ritsuko, with a puzzled expression, repeated herself. "Unit
Zero's pilot."
"She doesn't happen to bear a strong resemblance to Rei, does
she?"
"They're sisters.." Misato told him, followed by a soft "more or
less.." That Shinji didn't hear.
The young man turned to Ritsuko, "You have TWO kids?!"
"Err.. no.. I adopted Rei, Kizuko is your father's
responsibility.."
"Ade.. Ado.." Shinji breathed a sigh of relief, causing both
adults to look at him oddly. "Adopted! Heh, that's why you seemed young,
Ritsu.. You are available after all.."
"..."
"What?" He said, shifting uncomfortably under the older woman's
gaze.
"I think you're a bit young for me, Shin-Chan." She said,
stressing the 'chan'. Shinji sighed, and went back to finish dinner,
grumbling something about age and perceptions about women and not being
a kid. Misato groaned.
"And I thought he was only going to hit on me!"
Ritsuko began to laugh again as a disgruntled "I am now!" came
from the kitchen; followed closely by Misato's angry "Treat me like
second best, will you?" as she went after Shinji.
`Things can only get stranger` Ritsuko mused as sounds of pain
wafted out to her.
Disclaimer: The original Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to
Gainax. This particular plot deviation was constructed by me, JJ Corley,
and has been dubbed an 'Alternate Universe (AU)'. Therefore, the term
Alternate Universe or AU shall serve as my disclaimer for any future
posting of this series which lack this disclaimer. Please do not
sue me, for if you do you'll only get a few bucks and an old 486DX
with a copy of edit.com. What A Prize. I've made my point.
****
Ludicrous Configuration! Productions
Presents
A Neon Genesis Evangelion Alternate Universe
By JJ Corley
"What IF God was one of us, eh? You'd be ridin' the subway, all
honkey-doory, and some bearded dude bumps into ya, and you're all like
'Hey, watch it pal!' and give 'em the bird. And then, Bamph! You're like
this pile of ash with eyes as God tips his hat and says 'Excuse me,
asshole'. That would suck!"
Evangelion: Honor's Duty
Maya looked around. This was her chance. The lab was completely
void of all personnel, save for herself and Ritsuko. Tonight, she could
finally ask her beloved Sempai to dinner!
Taking a deep, calming breath, she strode forward, determination
echoing in her wake. "Sempa-"
"Doctor Akagi."
Maya eeped and skuttled backwards.
"Oh, good. You're finally here, Commander Ikari."
Maya glumly went back to her station as the two began to talk
about giant bolts, Angel remains, and things that go *ping*. She began
to think dark thoughts.
`Damn, stupid, jerk Ikari.. always ruining my plans!` She grit
her teeth and groaned. "Oh, why must the world be such a cold, dark, and
lonely place? Why? Wh-"
*Riiing*
Maya blinked at the phone. It responded by ringing at her again.
Muttering vague curses at, for, and about Gendou, she picked it up.
"Hello, Nerv, Lab B, sub-section twelve, level 14, box A, route fou- oh,
hell. What?"
"Give. Me. Ritsuko."
Maya blinked again. "Captain Katsuragi?"
"GIVE. ME. RITSUKO! NOW!"
Maya "Yipe!"ed, fell over backwards, and scrambled on all fours
over to where Gendou and Ritsuko had been absorbed in a few things,
hiding behind the blond doctor and pulling on her lab coat. "Sempai! I'm
scared!" She pointed at the phone in her hand as her commanding officers
gave her a blank look. "M-m-misato's mad about something!!" she
whimpered.
Ritsuko looked from her watch to the phone, and sighed. "'Bout
time.." She said as she took the offending object from her unnerved
assistant. "So, what's wrong, Misato?"
"YOU! WHAT'S THE BIG IDE-"
"Shinji will be staying with us, Captain. That's final."
"..." She paused, "..but WHY?"
In the background, Shinji could be heard saying "{Really, I
don't mind at all.}"
"Quiet, you!"
"Misato. We have jobs. We need to be at our jobs to save the
world. Not to mention earn money for your beer budget, right?"
"Of course! What els-"
Ritsuko cut in. "When Rei gets out of the hospital, she'll need
someone to look over her during the day, and we can't ignore our
responsibilities here! Shinji is the logical choice."
Misato's voice dropped down a bit. "But, Rei likes him! I can
tell. What if..?"
"They have sex? Do the wild thing? Enjoy themselves a bit?"
"Err.. yeah."
Ritsuko ignored the glare Gendou was giving her. "As long as
it's of mutual consent, I don't mind."
"They're sixteen, for christsakes!"
Ritsuko sighed again. "They also hold the fate of humanity in
their hands. The world's continued existence is placed on their
shoulders. Who are we to tell them not to enjoy themselves during what
little time we may have left?" After a moment of silence, she continued.
"Face it captain. One or both of those kids may die during these trying
times. If they want to find happiness in each others arms, who the hell
are we to tell them no?"
"Yeah.. but.."
"But?"
"He's hitting on me!"
Ritsuko began to laugh.
[_}~`\-/'~{_] Neon Genesis Evangelion: Honor's Duty
^ " ^ Stanza Four: Livin' La Vida Local.
As she closed her cel phone and turned to face a rather
nonplussed Shinji, Misato bowed slightly. "Err.. Sorry. I don't mean
that I don't want you with us.."
"Funny," He said in a flat tone. "That's what it sounds like."
"Ah heh heh.. Sorry.."
Shinji shrugged. "It's ok. I mean, you just met me twelve hours
ago, and.. who knows? I may be some kind of peeping tom or something."
"Are you?"
Shinji folded his arms, looking indignantly off to the side. "Of
course not! I have some honor, you know. I would never spy on anyone
without them knowing about it."
Misato, eyebrow raised, Hummed softly to herself. "Izzat
so?"
"However," He continued, "if I make a dissembling remark in
passing that might be somehow construed as a declaration of peeping, and
you don't recognize it for what it is, that's your problem, right? I
meant, I _am_ an Ikari. Half-truths and mind games are our specialty."
Misato sweatdropped. "umn.. Glad to hear it. Now, come come, we
have stuff to buy for the party and we need to get you settled in." She
said, going around him and pushing from behind.
"I can walk, you know."
"But you look so statuesque!"
[_}~`\-/'~{_]
^ " ^
"What am I supposed to do..? How do I handle this..? I'm his
mom, but at the same time, I'm not!"
"..."
"It's just so confusing! I love him, but what can I do about it?
Isn't being with him, when it's me, like incest?"
"..."
"I mean, it might not come to it, but.. if I'm around him too
much.. you know, I may just.." she blushed, "And he may just.."
"..."
"..are you even listening to me?" Rei asked of her guest.
"..yes." came the emotionless reply.
Rei shuddered and leaned back into the hospital bed, her gaze
traveling from her guest, who was no better off than she was in physical
condition, to the bedside table, and the small white flower the other
girl had brought with her. "Thank you.. for the rose.. and for
listening.. I feel better now."
Her guest got to her feet, and strode quickly and silently
towards the door. She opened it with the hand not in a sling, stepped
through, and stopped -turning her bandaged head slightly. "If you wish
to be with him, then do so. Current standings belie any moral
assumptions you have on this matter.." She paused, turning to look at
Rei once more with a single crimson eye. "Do what makes you happy."
"Kizuko.. I'll try."
Kizuko Ayanami, the second Rei, nodded once and closed the door.
[_}~`\-/'~{_]
^ " ^
*Skreeeeeeeeeeee-Kerplunk!*
Yet another 90 degree parking job courtesy of Misato. Shinji,
who had yet to get used to such things, pulled his body from the door
and attempted to get out of the car. The door opened slightly, then
stopped.
"Misato?"
The older woman, who was already out and grabbing groceries,
stopped and looked over the trunk at him. "Yeah?"
"Too close to the wall."
She winced. "Oops, sorry. Ritsuko has her own car and I don't
ride with passengers much."
"I can tell.." Shinji said as he crawled through the driver's
side and to freedom. Car + Misato = Speedy 4-Wheeled Coffin.
Shinji looked around himself. It was a nice high-rise apartment
complex, with the rooms built around an open rectangular courtyard, a
skylight twelve stories above. Each floor had 24 apartments, with a half
wall and guard rail on the upper level corridors. The courtyard had been
arranged so that it was part garden, part parking, and part snack shack.
"Shinji.." He turned to look at Misato. "Heads up!"
One, two, three grocery bags were caught and he looked at her
blankly. "You could have asked me to carry them instead of throwing them
at me, you know."
"Just testing your reflexes."
He sighed, looking inside the bags he carried to the food
within. "And now I suppose you want to test my culinary skills, as well?"
The trunk clicked shut and Misato walked towards the apartment
complex, another three bags in her arms and Shinji in tow. "Well,
Ritsuko and I have an agreement.. she cooks and I clean. But, I'm sure
that if you want to fix dinner, she wouldn't mind." She stopped and
pressed the call button for the elevator, and it pinged open instantly.
She stepped inside.
And waited. "Arn't you getting on?"
Shinji gave the elevator a dubious look. "I've been in one too
many metal boxes today. There's some stairs over there. What floor?"
"Are you sure you want to do that, Shinji?"
"Yes. What floor."
"Tenth."
Shinji looked to the stairs. `Uh uh.. no way am I walking up
that many stairs.` He looked to the inside corner, and followed it with
his eyes up to the tenth floor, nodding. `I'll do it the fun way, then.`
He placed the bags into the elevator and smiled. "See you at the top."
Misato sighed. "Well.. don't be too long about it.. I'm not
going to wait forever, you know. Apartment nine twenty two.."
Shinji nodded again, waiving as the doors closed on Misato. He
then ran for the corner, and leapt straight up, landing on the 2nd floor
railing, startling an elderly gentleman sitting across from it. Before
the old man could say anything, Shinji was gone, having jumped to the
third.
[_}~`\-/'~{_]
^ " ^
Ritsuko was about to swipe her key card through the reader and
unlock the front door when two things happened. One, the elevator gave a
pleasant *Bing*! as it opened, revealing Misato. Two, and more
surprising, Shinji suddenly landed on the guard rail directly across
from her. She watched him pause, then hop down and walk towards the
elevator, grabbing a handful of bags.
"Damn, you beat me," He said.
Ritsuko calmly walked over to the railing and looked down,
meeting the unbelieving stares of those who were looking up after the
young martial artist's passing. Misato did the same.
Shinji joined them a moment later. "Oi, whatcha lookin' at?
Oh.." He gave a sheepish grin to those below. "Err.. Sorry 'bout that.."
"Shinji.. You didn't.. jump up here, did you?" Asked Misato in a
small voice.
"Not from ground, no. Had to do it diagonally from floor to
floor, see.. I could have gotten here in one leap, if you lived on the
second or third floor, but.. err.." He stopped as both women gave him an
odd look. "What?"
"Nothing. I need to sit down.." Ritsuko said, shaking her head,
while Misato opted for a more conventional saying.
"I need a beer.."
[_}~`\-/'~{_]
^ " ^
"So then.. this is our Enemy.." Fuyutsuki said in awe.
Gendou poked it with a stick. "Not so tough now, are you,
Sachiel?"
The Angel, being quite dead, couldn't tell Gendou to bugger off.
"You there!" Fuyutsuki called to the tech crew above them. "How
goes the removal of the core?"
"Almos-" *ClunK* "Ok.. we are done."
The large platform descended, and the techs made room for the
Commander and Sub-Commander. Gendou removed his gloves, pressing his
scarred hands against the warm, slick surface of the S2 organ.
"Excellent.. It is in almost perfect condition.."
"Yes, save for the minimal amount of degradation due to the host
being deceased." Fuyutsuki agreed. He turned to one of the techs. "Is it
still active?"
"As near as we can tell, with the equipment and knowledge we
have.." she said, holding up a voltmeter and pressing the probes to the
S2 organ, "No sir, it is not. It seems to have gone into a type of..
stand-by mode, we think. No radiation or gasses are being released.. and
it's currently thirty two degrees Celsius, with a water content of 80%."
She gave it a look. "If it had stripes, I'd say it was a big
watermelon."
"And you can tell all that by using a voltmeter?"
She nodded. "It can even project an approximate hair loss ratio
due to stress and genetics. Wonder of modern technology, ain't it, sir?"
Fuyutsuki was sorely tempted to use it on his head, but was
saved by his master's call. "Yes'sir?"
"Contact the third Nerv branch in the US.. and tell them to
expect a delivery."
"The third, sir..? Why not the second, in Germany? Some of our
top researchers are there. Or, why not just examine it here?"
"I am more concerned with what SEELE would do if they had access
to research derived from this."
(Somewhere in Germany, a certain Kaji Ryouji sneezed. Keel
handed him a Kleenex. "Gezunhiet. Now, what was that about Unit One's
pilot?")
Fuyutsuki nodded. "Probably dance a jig."
"Indeed. A merry Irish jig, over our graves." Gendou slid his
glasses back up. "A condition neither of us want."
"Uh huh. But the Committee has spies in Nerv-Three as well."
"Yes, but they are American. And what do Americans do with
important information..?"
Fuyutsuki chuckled. "Blackmail you and keep quiet if you pay."
"Exactly." He nodded to the techs as he pulled his gloves back
on. "Box it up."
The two turned and headed out of the containment bay.
"Gendou equals Genius."
"Why, thank you."
[_}~`\-/'~{_]
^ " ^
Shinji blinked. "It's a penguin."
Ritsuko had slumped into an overstuffed chair in the corner next
to the TV, while Misato had hit the left fridge and gotten a beer before
plopping down on the spacious sofa. Shinji, after noticing the general
lack of room in the left fridge (50 gallons of beer?! I bet she likes
shrimp too..), had asked about the right one. Enter Pen-Pen.
"Ya!" Misato smiled, pulling the can of Yebisu from her lips to
speak, "He's an ex.. extremely rare, brand new hot-spas penguin!"
Ritsuko gave her a look, which Shinji missed. "His name's Pen-Pen, play
nice now."
"Wark!"
"Nice to meet you too.." Shinji shook his head, placing the bags
on the kitchen counter. Soon after, sounds of a meal being prepared
wafted through the house. Ritsuko sighed.
"This is nice.. a meal being made -and for once, I'm not the one
making it." The blonde scientist looked to the kitchen, and seeing
Shinji was out of hearing, leaned towards Misato, "Nice save.. Why
didn't you tell him the truth?" She whispered to her.
Misato snorted into her beer, giving her roommate an odd look.
"An jus what am I suppos' ta say?" Came the muffled reply, "Oi, Shin-
chan, our pet is an ex-science experiment turned lab rat who was drugged
and thrown in a garbage can before I saved his sorry ass?"
By her side, Pen-Pen gave an indignant squawk and waddled back
into his fridge.
"I'd hoped you could have put it in a slightly more tactful
manner, but.. more or less."
From the kitchen, amidst the periodic *Chopchopchop*ing,
Shinji's voice floated to them. "It doesn't matter to me where you got
him, having a penguin as a pet is kinda cool. Sorry to hear about his
past, though."
"You heard that?" Ritsuko had to laugh at the look of complete
disbelief plastered on Misato's face.
A sharp hiss of a hot pan meeting cold food flared, followed by
"Of course I heard you." Then, "Hey, Ritsuko.. how's Rei?"
"super hearing or something.." Misato muttered as her friend
took over the conversation.
"Quite fine, she'll be home within the next few days. I think
Kizuko visited her this afternoon."
"Kizuko? Who's that?"
"The designated pilot of Unit Zero." Ritsuko answered.
All sounds of meal preparation stopped. Shinji came out of the
kitchen, a Wok in one hand, a spoon in the other, and a disgruntled air
about him. "...the.. what?"
Ritsuko, with a puzzled expression, repeated herself. "Unit
Zero's pilot."
"She doesn't happen to bear a strong resemblance to Rei, does
she?"
"They're sisters.." Misato told him, followed by a soft "more or
less.." That Shinji didn't hear.
The young man turned to Ritsuko, "You have TWO kids?!"
"Err.. no.. I adopted Rei, Kizuko is your father's
responsibility.."
"Ade.. Ado.." Shinji breathed a sigh of relief, causing both
adults to look at him oddly. "Adopted! Heh, that's why you seemed young,
Ritsu.. You are available after all.."
"..."
"What?" He said, shifting uncomfortably under the older woman's
gaze.
"I think you're a bit young for me, Shin-Chan." She said,
stressing the 'chan'. Shinji sighed, and went back to finish dinner,
grumbling something about age and perceptions about women and not being
a kid. Misato groaned.
"And I thought he was only going to hit on me!"
Ritsuko began to laugh again as a disgruntled "I am now!" came
from the kitchen; followed closely by Misato's angry "Treat me like
second best, will you?" as she went after Shinji.
`Things can only get stranger` Ritsuko mused as sounds of pain
wafted out to her.