What Crooks Love

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the rights to Lupin III or anything remotely noteworthy for that matter.

Author's Notes: Zeni to the rescue! Enjoy!

Chapter Three: Between Love And Hate

Lupin knew all too well what the inside of a jail cell looked like. After all, he'd been getting in and out of them for years. Hell, he'd even spent a full year of his life inside one. Being the patient man that he was, Lupin had no problem staying locked up for a while until he came up with a plan to escape, or until his friends came to his aid.

But at the time, his mind was not on escaping his bars. For starters, if he did get out of jail he'd have to go back to the hideout and put up with the inevitable barrage of questions from his friends. Questions that he knew would stay unanswered. But even if his intention was to escape, his mind was too preoccupied to even consider coming up with a breakout plan.

The kid was right. About everything. Did he really care about the fate of those caught in the crossfire, or was he just looking for a way to alleviate his guilt? Tomoe had manipulated the lives of all these women, and she was a monster for it. But in what sense was he any better? The witch might not have been his biological mother, but perhaps he shared a lot more in common with her than he thought. How many people's lives had he destroyed just to achieve his goals?

It had been a few hours since Lupin had been apprehended, with the local police keeping him in the nearest station until a transport vehicle arrived to take him away. But said vehicle was in no rush to arrive. 'Incompetent bastards! Don't they realize that he can break out of this pathetic excuse of a cell in no time?'. Zenigata knew these bars would not hold the thief for long. So he opted to stand guard in the hallway all night. After all, if anyone could ever hope to catch an escaping Lupin, it was him.

Yet the thief was surprisingly quiet in his cell. No taunts, no pacing around, no attempt to break out. In Zenigata's mind, it was clear that something was off. If Jigen and Goemon were to break him out, they would have tried already by now. So what was that damned shithead waiting for? Soon enough the inspector was standing outside of Lupin's cell.

"Don't you take me for a fool! I know you're planning something Lupin. But whatever it is, it won't work! Your ass is not getting away this time!" Zenigata thought toying with Lupin might be a good way to get some reaction out of him. Force him to say something. The silence was so… unnerving.

Luckily for him, Lupin looked at him and stood up to face him. Good, at least he was responsive.

"That kid you've been working with lately, Yatagarasu. He's pretty good." His voice sounded weird, devoid of his pride. And his tone was far from his usual smug one, sounding almost wounded.

The inspector had been caught off guard. 'The hell is he talking about? What does Yata have to do with anything?' Regardless, Zenigata decided to play along, for now.

"Of course he is! He's Interpol after all! Ha, I bet you're furious that a rookie caught you! But make no mistake Lupin, this rookie was trained by me! You shouldn't have written him off as some…"

"Why do you take him along when you're chasing me?" Lupin sounded almost… mad! To say Zenigata was confused would be an understatement.

"He's been assigned as my partner. And the kid is capable. What, did you think, I'd ask for your permission first?" The inspector truly had no idea where Lupin was going with this.

Lupin's blood was beginning to boil and he clenched his fists. "How stupid can you be? Do you honestly think he'll survive long chasing after me? You drag him around like he's some puppy on a leash! And you even had that Arianna girl tagging along! What the fuck do you think you're doing? You trying to build a gang of your own? Don't you realize you're setting them up to die? You might have a death wish but that doesn't mean they do!"

Zenigata knew Lupin well, maybe too well, and his behavior was almost unprecedented. At first he just stood there, unable to understand why the thief would ever snap like that. He'd had many partners in the past and Lupin had never cared for any of them. So why now? Until it hit him.

"You feel guilty for what happened don't you?" Zenigata replied calmly. It made perfect sense. That's why he let Yata catch him. Why he wasn't trying to escape. And why he was suddenly interested in the well being of others.

Lupin always found it frightening that Zenigata could read him better than any of his friends or the woman he loved could. Or maybe Zenigata was too up front. Nevertheless, he was right. His anger immediately dissipated and he sat back down looking away from the inspector. For whatever reason, talking to him was so much easier.

"I've been thinking a lot lately," he started. "How Tomoe ruined so many lives just to get to me and how Arianna and Mattea almost died because of her. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that I'm just as responsible as she is. I knew her, I should have known what she was up to. And I walked right into her like a moth to a flame. I was so close to murdering all the people I care about. And for what? Some fucking poem?"

Zenigata chose to ignore Lupin referring to him as someone he cares for and was beginning to understand. That stubborn prick was blaming himself for what had happened.

"So what, you're retiring now? Leaving your friends behind so you won't hurt them? You really think that will achieve anything?"

Lupin let out a small laugh at that. "You know I'll retire the day I die. After all I'm sure you remember how it went the last time I tried to live a normal life." At the thought of that his smile quickly disappeared.

"Come on Lupin, you act as if you've never almost killed me before. I know I've had to restrain myself from strangling you several times!" Somehow Lupin found that reassuring.

"Besides, it's not like your friends are any better. Goemon almost sliced you in half just a few years ago. Fujiko, I mean do I even have to say anything? And even Jigen shot at you and Goemon the other day. As for Yata, I know he's not ready yet. And if something were to happen to him… But then again who is? He chose this life Lupin, as did Arianna. You blaming yourself isn't going to change the past."

That was something that Lupin needed to hear. But he still couldn't forgive himself for what he had done. At all previous occasions Lupin had accepted the consequences of his actions and moved on. But this one was different. He had to, somehow, make sure something like this would never happen again.

Zenigata sat down across from him and offered Lupin a cigarette. God knows Lupin could use a smoke right now. The inspector wiped out a lighter and lit both his and the thief's cigarettes and the two of them sat for a while in comfortable silence.

"I'm sure you've heard Mercedes broke out a while back. Think she's headed your way?" Lupin had honestly forgotten about the redhead amidst all the chaos.

"Nah, I think there's nothing more to be settled between the two of us. If she's as smart as I think she is she'll move on."

"You'd be wise to move on from this whole story too, you know," came Zenigata's remark as he took a long drag.

"Easier said than done pops. After all you know I'm far from wise." Both of them smiled and Zenigata stubbed out his cigarette.

"All this time you've been going on about the people you've hurt. But have you considered all the people you've helped all those years?" Lupin lifted his eyebrow as he realized he'd been having nothing but negative thoughts.

"You are an obnoxious kleptomaniac who deserves to rot in jail for the rest of his life and you've ruined countless lives… but you've saved more than a few too. I'm sure some nutjobs out there are under the impression that you're a hero! If you're going to embrace your past you have to embrace all of it. The bad, but also the good."

Lupin didn't know if his nemesis giving him such sound advice was a good thing, but dammit he was grateful. All this time he'd been sulking about the past and all those he had hurt. But not once did he think of all the friends he'd helped along the way! Suddenly it was clear to him what needed to be done. He wouldn't go back to the hideout. Not yet. First he'd go on a trip around the world. One that would remind him all the good that he'd done and which would hopefully make him move on from the witch.

"I'm sure that you were my best friend in another life Zeni!"

Zenigata had to turn his back on Lupin to hide his small blush. "Don't flatter yourself you weasel! I'm only helping you with this so I can make sure I don't end up with another bullet hole in my hat!"

"Oh come on pops, a bullet hole in your hat is nothing. I mean mine is a freaking bomb!"

"Huh?" is all Zenigata could say as he turned to face Lupin and instinctively caught something that the thief had thrown at him. Upon closer inspection, his eyes went wide.

"You always forget to check the hairpiece," said Lupin, his grin reaching all the way to his ears. "Sorry for leaving so hastily but I've got a trip to go to. See ya pops!"

Zenigata was almost glad the thief had found his usual self. Until he came to the realization that he was holding a bomb that would explode in any second. Maybe helping Lupin get back to his senses wasn't the smartest thing he'd done.

"DAMN YOU LU-" is all that managed to come out of his mouth before the exploding hairpiece lived up to its name. Zenigata was blown several meters away as the cell was blown wide open and when the dust cleared, the thief was unsurprisingly nowhere to be found. Yet a tiny smile was creeping up on the inspector's face.

Morning came and after a mostly restless sleep Jigen was out to get his newspaper along with some food for the fish. When he came back both Goemon and Fujiko were up, with the former cooking some breakfast and the latter slouching on the couch.

"Move your damn legs out of the couch, that's my spot!" The problem with Lupin not being around was that Fujiko was nothing but a nuisance.

"I'm watching a show, you can sit on that armchair," she said in a bored voice, not even looking at the grumpy gunman.

"I said that's my spot! You can watch tv from the armchair, now move!"

"The view isn't as good," she replied, slightly irritated, once again not even bothering to avert her gaze from the tv.

Jigen silently spat out several curse words as he laid on the chair and went about reading the paper. Soon enough he had found just what he was hoping for and started reading loudly for the rest to hear.

"Last night, notorious phantom thief Lupin the Third broke out of the jail where he was being held in Paris. There were reports of an explosion around 4am and soon after the criminal was reported missing. The whereabouts of the thief are currently unknown as national law enforcement is working to locate the escapee."

Goemon appeared from the kitchen and Fujiko stood up and clasped her hands.

"I told you guys he'd break out in no time! See, there's nothing to worry about!" she yelled excitedly.

"Hold on. If he escaped at around 4am that would have provided Lupin with ample time to return to the hideout. So why is he not here yet?" came Goemon's observation.

Suddenly Fujiko's smile disappeared.

"So where the hell is he?" asked Jigen.

Unsurprisingly, there was no response.