What Crooks Love

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the rights to Lupin III or anything remotely noteworthy for that matter.

Author's Notes: Hey, remember that woman that Jigen was seeing in the manga who shows up for like four panels and the only thing we know about her is she's obsessed with Jigen? Well the three of you that do, this one goes out to you! Enjoy!

Chapter Five: Reddy, Set, Go

Lupin could really use some coffee.

From the moment he set foot in Japan, he immediately went about locating the next woman, completely and utterly ignoring the jet lag, a less than wise decision. But once the thief's mind was set on something, no amount of weariness could possibly get in his way.

His search had led him outside of a relatively quiet cafe on the outskirts of Tokyo. "Gunman Cafe" was what the bright red sign wrote. The woman was still obsessed alright. Tracking her down was easy, after all Lupin had a plethora of informers around the world and several dozen located in Tokyo alone. Wasting no further time, he swung the door open and took a seat at one of the many vacant tables.

It was a warm and pleasant afternoon, the sun still shining but the temperature a lot cooler than it was when he arrived in the morning. The cafe itself seemed to draw heavy inspiration from old school Hollywood. The name of the bar was displayed once again above the counter, this time in a neon pink sign. The interior was decorated with several license plates and road signs, while there were also a few posters of classic 50s and 60s movies, the majority of which Lupin had in fact seen. He preferred not to dwell on them for too long however, as they reminded him of that damned red hairing of a poster. That was a royal waste of time. Bright red leather chairs were standing in front of the tables while a jukebox was playing some thematically appropriate tunes. 'Damm, this joint is like Tarantino's wet dream,' he thought.

What completed the scenery was the woman currently serving the customers, the owner and sole employee of the shop. She looked straight out of a western movie with her sleeveless red dress that made her look like a waitress in a saloon, coupled with her long brown boots that matched her eyes. A pair of discrete red earrings were hanging from her ears while her short wavy black hair was messy and mostly uncared for. She hadn't changed a bit.

The woman soon lazily approached Lupin and asked for his order without sparing a glance at him. "Welcome to Gunman Cafe, may I take your order?" Lupin was under the impression that she was trying to fake a southern accent, but he chose to ignore it.

It was showtime. "Well I'm still a bit dizzy from my flight so I think I'll go for a double Espresso. That's what Jigen always drank whenever he had jet lag. But you would know, wouldn't you?"

At the sound of a specific word from that sentence the woman dropped her pen and block note as her mouth went wide open. She stared at the man in front of her, instantly recognizing him.

"Long time no see Reddy! You look as gorgeous as ev-"

His sentence was cut short as her palm swiftly connected with his cheek, leaving behind a handprint almost as red as her dress, her gaze betraying borderline murderous intent.

"Well, well if it ain't Daisuke's so called best friend! Only a man like him would keep you as a friend after what you did to him, you scheming sack of shit!"

Deciding that his plan would be futile if he were to be murdered by the very angry lady across him, Lupin ignored the pain of the slap and nervously went about explaining himself. "Reddy baby, let's relax! There's no need for all this hostility. You know I'd never deliberately hurt your sweetheart."

It seemed like Lupin had underestimated the situation, as her face was now starting to match the seats. Lupin realized he was suddenly sweating profusely.

"Never deliberately hurt him? You replaced his gun with a rock while he was in the middle of a shootout, disassembled it, spread the parts all around the area and then forced me to leave him behind you leach! Had he been a second slower he would have died you-"

"But," he interrupted her, while raising his voice so as to be more intimidating, "he wasn't. I know my partner better than anyone in the world and I knew he would make it in time. I never expected you of all people to doubt his ability."

This seemed to calm her nerves somewhat and she lowered her voice. "You know I trust Daisuke's abilities more than anything in the world. I thought he would make it out alive as well. But that don't give you the right to treat your partner like that!"

"Hey listen," Lupin started, suddenly losing the snarky attitude and his face going straight, an action which surprised Reddy and reminded her of the man Jigen had once described Lupin to be. His eyes met hers and suddenly she found herself unable to move.

"You are under the illusion that you know Jigen. I can assure you, you don't. I've known him for a decade and I still don't fully comprehend the guy. But I do know his limits, like I know my own. And I would never, ever put him in a situation he can't get out of. I've done a lot of fucked up things in my life but I'll be damned if I ever deliberately hurt my friends like that. Got it?"

Realizing the severity of her accusation, Reddy looked away, partially in fear and partially in regret. "Sorry." Her tone was apologetic and her voice was a lot softer. "It's just that I never could understand why you would do that. Or why Daisuke would be so calm 'bout it… or at least relatively speaking. I just wish I knew more about him…"

Tears threatened to appear in her eyes as the memories began to overwhelm her. Before her emotions got the better of her however, Lupin reverted back to his usual self and lazily stretched his arms.

"Hey don't get all emotional on me," he said before letting out a tired yawn. "I hate watching women cry, and if you want to open up to someone, it'd be much better if that someone was Jigen don't ya think?"

Within a millisecond the woman jumped on the surprised thief and started violently shaking him. "WHERE IS HE? IS HE HERE WITH YOU? GIVE HIM TO ME!"

"Calm down lady! I'm here on his behalf but he's not around," came Lupin's terrified response as he grabbed her arms, in an attempt to stop her from practically strangling him. 'This chick is fucking nuts!'

His words calmed her down and a sad expression took over her face once again as she climbed off of Lupin, allowing him to properly breathe once again.

"Can you let me explain things without crushing my organs?" asked Lupin after fixing his shirt and tie.

"Fine," came her irritated response as she took a seat across the table, "but be quick about it. I got customers too ya know!"

"Right, I'm sure all three of them are anxiously waiting for you."

"Jackass." Reddy was starting to lose her patience already.

"Anyways," he started while lighting up a cigarette "Jigen is n-"

"You can't smoke here," she interrupted him. "Smoking is only allowed outside."

"Can't smoke? Coming from the chick who loves the guy who is practically the face of Marlboro Reds?"

"Listen here shithead," she said while giving him a menacing look, "I smoke too, just not inside! It's just common courtesy! The smoke might irritate the customers!"

"What customers?"

Lupin was not a man who feared many things. But if there was one thing he did fear aside from octopuses, it was women who had reached their limit. And one such woman was standing right across from him, her firsts clenched and her exasperated expression betraying her murderous intent. The thief loved to toy with others, but not at the expense of his life. He promptly put out his cigarette, thus calming the nerves of the impatient lady.

"As I was saying, Jigen is not with me at the moment. Truth is, he doesn't even know where I am."

This caught Reddy by surprise. "I thought you two were always together," she said with a puzzled look. "In fact when I first met him I was concerned you were his boyfriend or something."

"We usually are," he replied while making sure to ignore the boyfriend bit, "but I've been struggling with some personal stuff lately and I don't want to be a burden to him."

"I'm sure Daisuke would be more than happy to help you with whatever problem you may have."

"Trust me, I have my reasons for keeping him and everyone else out of it." Lupin suddenly started wondering what said reasons were exactly. Was he afraid he'd snap again? That his friends would turn their backs on him? Or was he just afraid to open up, even to those who know him best?

He was daydreaming yet again, and Reddy was too impatient to deal with his stalling. "Everything ok over there Third?"

That was enough to snap him out of it. 'Fuck me this is getting obnoxious!'.

"Yeah sorry, I'm not concentrating as well as I used to. Look, what do you say we just cut to the chase cause this has been going on for too long?"

A simple "Agreed" sufficed.

"All those years, I've done a lot of bad things. And that was something I could live with, something I never really had an issue with. I never claimed to be anything I'm not, I know my place. But something happened a few months back and, for the first time in my life, I realized just how… similar I am to a certain person I used to know. So many people have helped me over the years. And I just… abandoned them. Used them for my own benefit and just tossed them aside. And even worse… I almost hurt the people I love most, including Jigen…"

Her face went pale upon hearing the last part. "He… you didn't hurt him in any way did you?"

"No, thank heavens no, but I came close, too close. So I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm here to do my friend a favor, and help you in the process."

He gave her a minute to let his words sink in. When they did, she rested her head on her hands and looked at him with a pleading look.

"Thanks for the gesture, but what good is it if Daisuke himself doesn't want to meet me? It's been years since we last spoke, and he hasn't exactly made an effort to contact me since. I love the guy to death… but so what? Why are you here instead of him?"

Her words stabbed his heart like knives. At first he felt anger towards his partner for abandoning her. No doubt he had his reasons, but then again there was no denying that the gunman hadn't exactly made an effort to keep her in the first place. Before he could criticize his friend though, he recalled the countless times he had done so himself. All the women he fed lies to, used for his own benefit. What chance did his partner have of ever being any different. Still, he knew deep down his friend had some feelings for that woman, and that was enough for him.

He smiled at her and put his lanky arms behind his head. "Jigen doesn't talk much other than work, you should know that too. But he's mentioned you several times, and in a most positive light might I add! I'm sure he's just too nervous that you have forgotten about him. He wants to meet you, I'm certain of it! He just needs a little push from yours truly!"

At the sound of his response Reddy's eyes lit up and her face came inches away from his. "Really? He talks about me?" The woman sure was expressive.

That was a complete lie. Jigen hadn't mentioned her, or any woman for that matter, at any point in time. Not that Lupin could blame him. Were he ever to mention one he would be all over him, teasing him mercilessly. And if Fujiko happened to be around they'd double team him and make him so agitated he would leave the hideout.

"Yeah of course he does! I'm telling ya, he's still got the hots for you, he's just too much of a shy bear to admit it!" Hopefully that second part was true.

The woman beamed with excitement and she offered him her prettiest smile yet. Lupin wasn't exactly into tomboys but Jigen sure had picked out a charming one. 'And a well endowed one too, hot damn that's a nice pair of tits,' he thought. Too bad hitting on her in any shape or form was out of the question.

"So are you going to arrange… a meetup or something?

"That I am! But you must understand, I can't tell him he'll be meeting you. You know how stubborn his ass can be, I wouldn't be able to convince him to see you face to face. I know that's not ideal for you but-"

"It's fine," she interrupted him, her tone slightly dejected but still happy nonetheless, "meeting him again is good enough. Thank you, it really means a lot."

"I'm sure it means a lot to him too. I'll give him your shop's address along with some bullshit excuse to get him to come over. When did you open it by the way?"

"Two years ago, I've always wanted my own shop and the whole gimmick thing helps bring in more customers. I'm not exactly swimming in cash but I can make ends meet."

Lupin got up from his seat and cracked his knuckles. "It's a nice place, I'm sure it'll take off sooner or later. I'd love to stay and chat more but I doubt you would want me here for much longer. Could you bring me that Espresso though? I could really use a cup of joe."

Reddy followed suit and headed for the counter before fixing her dress. "Sure thing, just give me a sec."

She took an order from a couple that was waiting on a nearby table and then headed behind the counter to prepare the coffee. Lupin spent that time with his back against the counter, thinking of what exactly he would say to Jigen. Soon he decided that he'd come with something on the spot and diverted his attention to the gimmicky decor.

"Here's that double you ordered. And make sure to leave a tip will ya?" she said as she placed the cup on the counter.

"Great, I'm drinking this and I'll be out of your hair." The coffee was bitter but he could definitely use the caffeine boost.

"So what have you guys been up to? I heard you stopped by Italy a few years back, I actually went there hoping I might come across Daisuke but no such luck. I also caught wind of that Find Daisuke Jigen site. That must have been fun."

He smiled while quietly sipping his coffee. "Were you scared one of those assassins would get to him?"

"Nope, but I did think you'd be a goner. I still can't believe you survived that one!"

"I'm glad you have such faith in my abilities."

They both laughed, it made Lupin wish he had time to sit down and have a proper talk with her.

"Did Daisuke get with any other woman during all those years?" Unsurprisingly she sounded very bitter. Lupin also heard her violently tapping at the counter with her foot. Not that he could blame her.

"If I tell you now you won't have much to talk about when he comes to pay you a visit. Think you can hold off knowing until then?"

Her silence wasn't exactly an answer, but she didn't press on the matter.

"What about you? You had a gal too didn't ya? Can't remember her name but both you and Daisuke mentioned her occasionally."

Lupin realized he hadn't thought about Fujiko lately. He knew she would have taken his unexpected absence worse than the rest. She might have been able to hide who she really was from everyone else, but he knew her too well. He had a good idea of how he would repay Jigen, Goemon and Zenigata in this trip of his. But Fujiko? That was different.

"We're still together, somewhat. No person on earth busts your lover boy's balls more than her!"

Unfortunately, Reddy emphasized on the one word he wished she wouldn't. "Somewhat?"

It was getting late and there was no time to start analyzing whatever he and Fujiko had going on. He had other issues at hand.

"That'll be all for today," he said as he hastily drank the last of his coffee. "I'll have him come by soon, while we're still in Japan."

She nodded and the thief swiftly headed towards the exit, after leaving a more than generous tip. Just before he left, Lupin turned to face her one last time.

"When he comes… this will be your last chance. If he leaves, he's never coming back. So don't blow it, ok?"

Yet another nod, a more reserved one this time. His words seemed to have scared her, but Reddy knew they were true. She'd wait for him. And when he came, she'd make him regret spending all those years away from her.

His job was done and Lupin was walking back to his car with a wide grin on his face. This had no doubt been a success. He only wished he had done something like that for his partner sooner. Next stop, Goemon!

He got inside his trusty Fiat and finally lit up a cigarette as he rested on the driver's seat. Nothing wrong with a smoking break here and there. He was satisfied, things were finally looking up.

Until he looked in the rearview mirror.

His pulse skyrocketed and he immediately reached for his Walther. His expression resembled that of a wild beast, fully concentrated in dealing with the unexpected visitor. Yet when he turned to face her, she was gone.

Cold sweat started to run down his back. Either the witch was back from the dead, or he had straight up hallucinated her. Each probability more terrifying than the other.

Lupin tried to control his breath and got out of the car, making sure to search it thoroughly. It must have been an apparition. There were zero signs of anyone breaking in. Plus the woman would have been too old to escape in such short notice.

'No more smoking breaks,' he decided. He thought what he was doing was helping him forget. Obviously the witch was still residing deep inside his head.

He sped off into the sunset. He had to complete his goal, prove that he wasn't the monster his mother envisioned him to be.

He adjusted the mirror and checked once again for good measure.

This time, he was only staring back at himself.