Neon Genesis Evangelion: Honor's Duty

by JJ Corley

The year: 2015. The world is shaped by fear and death. Over half the human population has died amidst the chaos of the next age Ikari Shinji is trained under Saotome Ranma, arriving in Tokyo3 only to find it under siege by the Angel Sachiel.

7. Honor's Duty Chapter Seven

Ludicrous Configuration! Productions Presents A Neon Genesis Evangelion Alternate Universe By JJ Corley Associate Author: David McMillan http/mslcp. are better ways to let a woman know you care besides slapping their ass and asking for another drink." -Chabol

Shinji shifted uncomfortably as he sat in Unit-01's control couch awaiting the start of the Induction Mode test (whatever that was). The 'plug suit' they had issued him as standard wear while piloting was going to need a little getting used to -the material,
seemingly a spandex variant, was thick, stretchy, and rubbed all the right places in the wrong way.

Shinji was hoping it would get better once the plug was filled with LCL. God knew it couldn't get any worse.

"How the hell does Rei put up with this?"

"You get used to it after a while," Misato answered from the observation chamber, set at Evangelion eye-level and adjacent to the testing chamber. She had already heard this line of complaint from Rei, and didn't want to hear it from Shinji. "Anyway," she asked in an effort to keep his mind off the plug suit, "how's it going at school?"

"I had the most unusual day..." He appeared to be slightly dazed just thinking about it.

Misato raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? What happened?"

"I blew up a computer, got a pocket full of phone numbers,
was punched in the head, chatted up Ibuki, was rebuked by Father,
and Rei tongued me," he said happily.

\-/' Neon Genesis Evangelion: Honor's Duty " Stanza Seven: Ikari's Good Mood

Misato blinked. "Well, I was asking more about school work than social life, but fair's fair. Ready for your Induction Mode test?"

"Yeah, though I'm not quite sure what an 'Induction Mode'
is."

"When Ritsuko gets here I'll have her explain everything"
Because I haven't the foggiest either. Misato thought, while giving Shinji a cheerful little smile. She dropped the charade as he frowned and returned to his own thoughts. To be honest, we should really be running him through a Synchronization Mode... The thought trailed off as she met the hard gaze of Unit-01, standing ready in the test cage before her.

Ritsuko came in, barking a curt "Status!" before slowing next to Misato. She listened idly, comparing notes on her ever-
present clipboard as the resident techs called off from their stations. "Well and good, but we're changing the schedule. Induction Mode will be resumed after successful Synchronization Mode test -And by successful I mean an all green, not any of that Olive Drab crap like the LAST TIME. I think you all remember that 'incident'. Have the Bakelite suspension ejectors ready, just to be on the safe side.
Let's do this right the first time, people."

Misato and Ritsuko shared a look. We don't need another failed activation test on our hands.

"So, this is Unit One, huh?" Shinji said finally, after successful linkup and activation of the Evangelion. Not to mention the LCL flood, which did manage to relieve the chafing of the plug suit to some degree. "You know, it smells like Rei in here, after a shower, with the lavender shampoo that's her favorite..."

"And how would you know that?" Demanded a small, angry Ritsuko that popped up in a comm. window.

"...You mean to tell me she hasn't told you about our sordid love affair?"

"Oh, very funny, Ikari," Ritsuko ground out. "Try again.
Maybe you'll win something."

"..." Shinji's eyes widened a bit at the normally affable Ritsuko's response, but he wisely stayed silent.

"Geeze, Ritsu," Misato said, eyeing her roommate, "what's gotten you in such a bad mood, anyway? You seemed fine an hour ago."

"I was fine an hour ago," Ritsuko replied flatly. "But I had to perform a... service call... in the Commander's office."

Misato blinked, and felt her eyes widen slightly.

\-/'
The man himself sat behind his desk in his usual pose,
still, unmoving. A statue of vigilance, staring down into the deep dark surface of his massive obelisk of a desk, as if the secrets and answers he sought could be found within.

It would have been impressive, almost, save the silence of his vigil was broken by muffled grunts of effort, vaguely feminine,
emanating in an uneven rhythm from under his desk. Had there been another observer, they would have remarked on a sound akin to flesh slapping lewdly against flesh, yet oddly muffled.

Oh, and the impressive array of tools on the desk, laid out and prepared for use, was a major clue that something was going on.

The semi-lewd noise continued unabated, and Gendou seemed to rock ever so slightly with each repetition. This continued for a moment until a vague note of surprise was heard from under the desk,
followed by a muffled thump. Gendou smirked. "Oh, Baby..." He drawled seductively.

"That was uncalled for," came a female voice from underneath. A slim hand reached up from between his legs, palm up.
"I need something."

"Oh?" He said, feigning ignorance. "What do you need?"

"You know..." She said, leaning forward to peek at him.
"Third one from the left."

"Allen?" He asked, examining the oddly curved tool. "But you've used him three times already."

"He's the only on that fits properly. Now, give, or I'm going to leave," Ritsuko grumbled darkly, very uncomfortable with and very, very annoyed at being under the desk AGAIN.

He placed the wrench in her palm, and she continued after a moment. "I swear..." she grumbled, "If I didn't need you here to adjust for clearance, this would go much faster." Her arm hit his thigh again, and she wrinkled her nose in distaste as she continued to rummage around within the guts of the top-down inlaid monitor system, "You want to tell me how you broke your surveillance monitor this time, or do I want to know?"

"I kicked it," He admitted, sheepishly, "after a particularly maddening session with the council."

"Delicate technology. You should be careful. This is the fifth time this month." She listened to him mumble an apology before continuing, "I'm beginning to think you like having me crammed down here between your legs."

"I have to admit, the prospect is rather... Enjoyable."

"In your dreams, Ikari."

"...Damn."

\-/'
Ritsuko shuddered at the memory. She gave Misato's grimace a commiserating look.

"Service... call?" Misato inquired apprehensively.

"On his security monitor!" Ritsuko snapped. "Not.
anything like you're thinking."

"Oh." Misato looked relieved. "Which one?"

"The one in his desk," Ritsuko replied without thinking.

"That's the one..." Misato trailed off, and Ritsuko nodded.

"Got it in one, Misa-chan."

"Old man Fuyutsuki in there too?"

Ritsuko shook her head no. "Thankfully. Having him around would have only added to the humiliation. The problem wasn't too bad. I managed to get it fixed within five minutes -one of the circuit boards had been cracked and needed replacement. A quick in-
out job."

"Well, such is life." Misato shrugged, as if to say what can one do about it, before continuing. "Shinji wants to know what it is he'll be doing. I told him you could explain it better than I could."

"We'll be performing an Induction Mode test, of course." She noted Shinji's blank look and flipped a few pages on her clipboard.
"Hummn. Also called Trigger Priority Mode. Placing priority on gun operation rather than brain wave synchronization."

"Gun?" The tone was frank disbelief, the EVA's body language reflecting righteous outrage.

"Yes, why?"

"I refuse to use a gun." Shinji stated flatly. Unit-01 crossed its arms over its chest and turned its head to the side in defiance. "It's dishonorable."

"Oh, yes. I'm quite sure that the Angels give a damn about honor; yours, theirs or otherwise," Ritsuko said in a monotone. "You will use the gun."

"No, I shall not. A weapon of that sort goes against every value I have. Until the enemy uses something similar, I will not use any type of gun on them."

"Ouuo, very noble." Misato said.

Ritsuko just shook her head and sighed. "Your nobility is misplaced, Shinji."

"Perhaps, but it is my decision," He said.

"How about a compromise?" Misato asked, folding her arms over her chest. "This is just a test: let Ritsu compile the data she needs, and you can choose when or if you will use the guns we have available as the situation allows."

The Eva's head turned back to them. "I don't like it, but.
if it's only a test, I suppose it's all right."

"Okay then. Retrieve the automatic rifle in weapon bay one and let's begin," Ritsuko said as Misato pulled up a chair.

Shinji did so, running through a quick field inspection of the weapon. He ejected the clip, noted it was a simple battery, and replaced it. A quick check of the barrel noted an obstruction, and a strange muzzle tip. "Laser tag?" he asked finally.

"Very astute for someone who loathes firearms."

"To quote Pops: a weapon is a weapon, like it or not. Kumon-
sensei taught me how to use them. Haven't liked guns since."

"Sorry to hear that. Most of our Anti-Angel ordinance is ranged, using firearms for delivery to target. The weapon you hold now is modified to emit light only. The walls of this cage are light sensitive, and we will be running a program through the direct visual connections to simulate an external area and hostile targets.
To put it simply, you just have to stand there and shoot. Like playing a video game," Ritsuko explained, checking a few items off her clipboard as the techies called out reports and status changes.

"I can live with that."

"Good. Let's start, then."

The visual panels on the interior of the entry plug cycled through a quick check, and then the walls of the test chamber were replaced with the cityscape of Tokyo-3. A bold, stylized text message of 'HEAVEN OR HELL' flickered across the screen, followed by 'STAGE ONE' and an announcer calling 'Let's Rock!'. A large,
cartooned version of Sachiel suddenly loomed above the buildings not so far away, and Shinji opened fire, felling the Angel only to have Godzilla and Mothra emerge from Tokyo-3 bay and the skies respectively, and Shinji in turn laid them low. "This might actually be fun, after all..." He mused, before swapping a fresh clip and taking out a giant Doremon only to have Ultraman threatening him on the left.

\-/'
Ritsuko was idly checking off more items on her clipboard as Shinji performed above average in the simulation. It would appear,
his stance on guns non-withstanding, he was getting into it, the Evangelion pantomiming his hiding behind a building to reload before spinning around and firing again.

"Simulate weapon jamming, irreparable." Misato called to the techs. The response from Shinji was immediate swearing as he levered the bolt back repeatedly, to no avail. He took cover behind the building only he could see before using the comm.

"Misato, my gun's jammed. Can't fix it."

"Have you memorized the locations of the weapons bays and armed buildings within Tokyo-Three?" She asked in return.

"Hell no."

"Well if you HAD, you could have gotten yourself another gun," Misato replied testily.

"..." Shinji shrugged, flipping off the connection with Misato. He then opened another window with a thought. The visuals remained blank, red text marked 'Sound Only' as he addressed it.
"Magi, overlay visuals with grid map of Tokyo-Three, highlight all weapons depots and armed buildings accessible by Eva's orange,
nearest red, soonest."

"This request will require sixty seconds to perform." The Magi control systems replied.

"Do it in thirty."

"Compliance."

He moved within the simulated world, ducking and weaving as necessary to avoid various flying Ordinance, rockets, and energy lances. Finally, a small grid map appeared in the lower right corner of the display screen, with a chibi icon of Unit-01's head and a pair of lines indicating his field of vision. He turned the Eva until the lines swept towards and bracketed the red dot, and found a building in the main view outlined in red. "That's handy. Thanks for the good work, Magi."

"You are welcome, pilot. Terminating communiqué in 5."

Shinji let the communications window drop on its own accord as he navigated his way to the weapons building. The steel security door rolled up as he approached, revealing a pair of handguns.
Taking them up, he looked them over before announcing: "Unreal."

Any further quips were cut short as his digital enemies found him yet again, and he was forced to teach his foes the true meaning of peace through superior firepower.

\-/'
Within the observation chamber, Ritsuko nodded to herself and made a note: Pilot use of Magi for field map. "Intuitive. I must admit I didn't expect him to know about his Magi access privileges."

"Wait, he has access to the Magi?" Misato said, confused.

"Only when piloting, but yes. He can request various types of information, including maps, the locations of Eva exit gates,
emergency power sources, recovery routes, and as he just did -locations of armed buildings and weapons storage lockers. He can access text transcripts of verbal orders transmitted to him via the communications system, coordinate suppressing fire from the armed buildings and request air support."

"Sounds like blue level clearance."

"Until he gets promoted, pretty much."

Misato shrugged. "Well, I'm heading home. I've got some stuff I need to take care of... for tonight."

Ritsuko blinked. "Tonight?" She checked her watch, looking for the date. "Oh, You're right. Umn... What are we going to do with Shinji?"

"Don't worry." Misato said conspiratorially. "I, have a plan."

\-/'
Gendou was not impressed. "You want me to do what?"

"You know, just have him over for the night, talk, do some of that male bonding stuff," Misato said cheerily, her hand waiving in the 'you know what I mean' gesture.

"Male... bonding?" Gendou repeated.

"Yeah. You know."

"No. I do not," Came the flat reply.

"Oh." Misato paused, thinking. "Well, umn... neither do I.
Just, ah... Just rent a video or something."

The High Commander of Nerv gave that a thought. "That is.
acceptable. I will make the necessary arrangements."

"Thanks, boss," Misato said with a smile.

"Although I wonder why tonight, of all nights?"

"Girl's night in," was all the explanation Gendou received as Misato ducked out of his ever-imposing office.

"Ah," He said. He then made a call.

\-/'
Shinji sighed as he stepped out of the testing cage. It might have only been a simulation, but remaining synched with the Eva for upwards of an hour really sapped him. He scrubbed a hand through his LCL soaked hair as he walked over to Ritsuko. "So? How'd I do?"

"See for yourself." She said, handing him her clipboard. The top page was a line graph, comparing his score with that of Rei and Kizuko. Of the two, Kizuko had the higher score, being stage seven out of ten, Rei's capping off at the tail end of stage six. His own dwarfed them both, ending where Voltron had surprised him with a sword slash at the end of stage 9. "Woah," He Keanued. "You know, I could have gotten to stage ten if you had told me there were melee attacks in there as well."

"Always expect the unexpected." She replied, smiling. "You did far better than any of us predicted. Even your father. Which reminds me, he called earlier, said something about the dinner tonight being on him."

"Oh, great," Shinji deadpanned. "Meal with Father. Whatever it is, I bet it's on ice."

"Don't be so harsh on your father, Shin-chan. He has been known to be a decent fellow from time to time. Now go and get changed, your father's chauffeur is going to pick you up in ten minutes."

"Yay. Just enough time to bathe if I hurry." He said,
matching actions to words by heading out of the observation chamber at a good clip.

\-/'
Gendou's condominium was situated on a mountain above one of the many sub-entrances of Nerv. This wasn't surprising. The house was. It was simply a corner jutting out of the rock face, with a door on one side and windows on the other. "That's my Father"
Shinji muttered, knocking on the door, "A Genius engineer, but a completely worthless architect."

The door swung inward, revealing Gendou in his On Duty uniform and a pizza box. "Oh. You're here earlier than I expected,
Shinji. Congratulations on your score with the Induction mode test.
Pizza?" He asked, opening the box to reveal a pepperoni, mushroom,
green pepper, olive and chive pizza.

"Sure. Pizza is... good." Shinji said, taking a slice from the box as he stepped inside. "But why're you standing at the door with the Pizza?"

"It was just delivered a moment ago. I hadn't time to set it down yet when you knocked," his father explained, setting the box on the kitchenette counter.

Shinji gave the place a quick once over. There were two black leather overstuffed chairs in the living room, one closer than the other to the couch, which dominated the center of the room. To his right were the main bedroom and bathroom. A bank of windows replaced the wall further left and extended slightly behind them.
The entrance was also behind him, leading to the porch and a stairway to the street. Beyond the doorway to the kitchenette lay the dinning room, and what appeared to be a guest bedroom.

"Nice pad." Shinji said, and then gestured to the surroundings, "Must've cost you a lot to have this place embedded into the mountainside."

"Embedded? No, no no. Too expensive," Gendou admonished his son, handing him a plate to put the pizza slice on, "Chiseled now,
that's another question entirely."

"You're shitting me. Chiseled?" Shinji asked, quite astonished.

Gendou kept up his front for a moment, before relenting.
"Actually, it was already like this when I discovered it. Don't know how the guy I bought it from got it into the cliff-face, but I have to admit, it's a unique place. That it's right next to a sub-
entrance for the GeoFront makes it rather handy to get to and from work."

"Yeah, I was surprised when that security goon just plopped me inta the lift and told me to have fun."

Gendou actually chuckled at that. "Was he short, stocky, and balding by any chance?"

"Yeah, why?"

"That'd be the S3 section chief, Garibaldi. Man has an odd sense of humor. Good security man, though. Very good. Also very laid back, for someone who worships the Egyptian god of frustration."

Shinji reached over for another slice of pizza. A quiet moment passed between them, both men lost as to what to say, or do.
Father and son, yes -complete strangers, yes. Finally, Gendou adjusted his glasses, clearing his throat. "So... What have you been doing with your life, Shinji?"

Shinji raised an eyebrow. "I should ask you the same thing."

"I've been trying to save the world," his father replied casually.

The younger Ikari nodded, his gaze traveling from his father to the pizza box, and he withdrew another slice before answering. "I guess... I guess I was learning how. I've never known... but mom,
she knew, didn't she? That this was going to happen one day."

"Yes. Yes, she did."

Shinji ate the rest of his pizza in silence, then set his plate in the sink. "So..." he said at length.

"Hummn...?"

"What're we doing tonight?"

"I, umn, rented a movie. Sound good?"

"Fair enough..."

\-/'
"This has got to be the worst porn EVER." Misato commented, lazing on the couch with Ritsuko in front of the TV,
watching said bad pornography.

Ritsuko, sprawled lazily on the floor while using the couch as a backrest, scrunched her nose in distaste as she grunted an agreement. She was idly wondering why a floating 20 meter phallus from 'Outer Space' would bother raping earth women in the first place.

Most of the girls 'featured' were barely up to her standards.

Not that she HAD standards for that sort of thing. "I thought we were renting something with lots of hot, naked men in it." She stated, watching the 3N tentacle invade the 6X/3 orifice in 1E10 power seconds.

Doing the math was the only thing keeping her awake at this point.

It was a 'Ladies Night In', so to speak, with Rei still the hospital another day for final checkups, and Shinji at his father's.
Gendou, for some unfathomable reason, had 'elected' to put his son up for the evening in his condo, leaving the two women to their own devices.

Those devices consisted mainly of a tap for the keg and the remote for the DVD player.

Misato waited a moment, eyeing the counter on the player display. "We did. When the counter hits 15 minutes, the hunky heroes show up."

Both women waited a moment. 00:15 struck. Sirens wailed shrilly to life, bringing onto the scene...

Ritsu blinked. "Firemen?"

"'Filmed on virtual site in New York City'..." Misato read after pulling a well-hidden and -glued insert out of the DVD box,
frowning. "'Special 9-11 commemorative version with digital firemen replacing...'" She snorted in pure disgust. "'...Duke Nukem and the Jango Fett Clones.'"

"Good lord! Commemorative porn!" Ritsuko looked to her roommate in abject horror as the Firemen began pumping copious amounts of cream onto the purple thing, the Fire chief screaming something about the alien's supposed 'lactose intolerance' as another began to shoot the thing with a pair of large hand cannons.
"Please, turn it off!"

Click

"I hope to GOD I never have to see anything like that again!" Ritsuko moaned, collapsing fully onto the carpet.

"Well, you'll have to face a different big purple monster come tomorrow morning, you know."

"Ug. Don't remind me. I'm half tempted to tell the boys in R&D to change the paint job as is."

'\-/'
"This is undoubtedly the worst porno flick I've ever seen"
Shinji commented from the large, over stuffed black leather chair he was seated in, eyeing the TV.

His father, reclined in another of said chairs, grunted in agreement, reaching the same conclusion. "What was this called again? I should have the producer shot."

Shinji, seated closest, snagged the DVD box off the coffee table "Umn," he said, fumbling for the box, as his eyes were unfortunately glued to the screen as another underage-looking model was snatched by the ugly floating purple phallus. "... Virtuo Studio's 'Duke Nukem and the Fett Brothers in: Aliens: Cum Get Some!'."

"Correction, I will have the producers shot." The elder Ikari muttered tiredly.

The counter hit 00:15.

"Is that a mob of half-naked clones?" Shinji asked, his tone indicating slight horror.

"Am I really seeing a milk truck fitted with a fire hose"
Gendou replied, much the same way.

"Is that Duke Nukem in a rhinestone encrusted Wang-Sock"
they both chorused in mutual disgust.

"I'm turning this off, now." Gendou quickly took the remote in hand, viciously stabbing the power button.

Click

"Gah... The horror, the horror!" Shinji cried half-
heartedly, sinking deeper into his chair. "Can I suggest a more appropriate father-son bonding activity?"

"What?"

Shinji quickly sat up again. "We take the DVD, smash it into small plastic bits, burn them to fine ash, and return the dust back to the rental place."

Gendou got up, removing the DVD from the tray. "No. I, have a plan." He motioned to Shinji to get the box as he went for his uniform coat. "Come with me."

"Alright, but I swear to you old man, if any Angel EVER looks like that preposterously proportioned purple penis thing,
there isn't anything you can do to get me NOT to kill it."

"You and me both."

'\-/'
Yasaku Narugasei was a 20 year old clerk working for Rock&Bitch Video Boutique. A very happy, snickering clerk working for Rock&Bitch, even at 2 am. He had done the impossible. He had managed to convince not one, but two people to rent the #1 'Never Rented Movie Ever'. He could almost smell the bonus bucks he was going to accumulate from that sale. He would soon laud his Rock&Bitch Bucks over his fellow employees, and that X-Box Gate 5 system would be his, all for the taki-

He blinked. What was that loud rumbling sound?

He watched as a few of the carefully stacked videos began to rattle off the shelves, muttering a 'what the?' as he turned around.

Just in time to see the giant armored purple foot fall straight down into one of the empty parking spaces. The resulting shockwave broke every pane in the glass front building, knocking every shelf in the store over, and breaking a half-dozen TV's.

He recognized that foot from TV. From the Nike ad, actually.
'Nike: The only running shoe that KICKS ANGEL $$! (size 438E6 not available for civilian sale)'

From high above, perched on Unit-01's broad left shoulder,
gripping the access ladder on the side of the Eva's face for support, stood Ikari Gendou. He was looking quiet pleased.

Yasaku meekly came out of the building, looking up. And up,
and up, and then farther up a bit. "Umn..." He said, suddenly sounding like a pimpled 14 year old working at McDonald's, "You can't park that here."

"Crush him now, Giant Robo!" Gendou commanded. Shinji lowered Unit-01 onto one knee, maneuvering the massive right hand to grab the offending human. Yasaku was then raised to Gendou's eye level.

It is fair to say Yasaku was quite frightened. More so when he saw Gendou's sharp, shark-like smile.

But he was absolutely mortified when Gendou raised his other hand, displaying... The Box. "You gave me bad porn. I don't like that. Now, the question is, what're you going to do about it?"

The young man's beleaguered brain began yammering at him,
telling Yasaku to start babbling about how it was his favorite, the greatest porn ever. If they buy it, they'll be so much in pity of my obvious mental defectiveness that they'll leave me alone!

That is, if they decide mercy-killing isn't in order...

Yasaku whimpered.

Twenty minutes later, Shinji was steering Unit-01 back towards the nearest launch rail, several hundred DVD's piled high in its right palm.

Gendou was still wearing that sharp toothed shark's smile.

"God, I've always wanted to say that line."

"Whatever you say, Daisaku."

'\-/'
The next morning found Shinji walking back to the apartment he shared with the girls. Last night's activities had been mildly amusing, everything considered. He hadn't known his Father actually had a bit of wit, and oft times give a running commentary, which added to the movie viewing experience rather than being annoying. It was akin to watching a Mystery Science Theatre, but with better movies.

He'd probably do it again, he decided, if asked. There were,
after all, worse ways to waste time.

And it wasn't as if their supply of movies would run short any time soon.

He allowed his mind to wander as he enjoyed the brisk early morning air. What had Misato and Ritsuko been doing last night?
Probably having another drink-fest, which meant the apartment refrigerator would be mostly empty of all consumables, and only half full of beer. Or maybe a quarter full -it all hinged on how bad the week had been. His eyes spotted an ATM machine for the 5/3rd Bank of Tokyo-03, situated next to a 24-hour grocer. The beer he couldn't do much about, but food on the other hand...

Shinji stopped before the ATM and whipped out his Nerv ID card. Time to check his balance. He slipped his card into the proper slot, and waited for the screen to give him directions. Instead, a calm, mechanical voice asked, "Palm-print identification please."

He blinked, not expecting that, and touched his hand to the screen on the third repetition. The machine beeped agreeably, and a series of small green indicator lights began to light. It was about halfway through the check when Shinji remembered his infernal luck with machines. A fraction of a second after that realization, the indicator flashed red, the machine groaned in complaint, and started to shake like an off balance washing machine. Shinji snatched his hand away just as the machine pegged him on the head with his ID card, and then began to spin itself around, spraying five thousand yen notes like some deranged impulse sprinkler.

Shinji frowned mightily as he rubbed his sore noggin, and then stooped to retrieve his card, and a few of the bills. "God damn digital world. I'm gonna hav'ta learn how to keep from doing that.
Stupid machines."

'\-/'
It was mid afternoon by the time Shinji got back to his apartment complex. The police had shown up while he was still making his food purchase, and the head Inspector, Zenigata, had been rather stubborn about the entire thing. It wasn't until he had pulled out his Nerv ID when they demanded his identification that they had given him any slack. It would seem that little piece of plastic could open doors.

As the front door to his shared apartment opened, he idly wondered what his rank was. He stepped over the threshold, bagged food under one arm, and called out, "Honeys, I'm home!" to what he was sure was an empty house.

Instead, over the sound of the shower, he heard Misato's voice answer, "You're late! Ritsuko went off to work already,
there's some breakfast for you in the fridge -help yourself!"

Shinji rose an eyebrow as his eyes followed the contours of the older woman's body, partially obscured by the glass door of the shower. "Yeah, sorry about that..." He said as he dropped the groceries on the kitchenette counter, opened the fridge and nabbed the cold bowl of rice and other assorted breakfasts prepared for him and returned to his vantage point, "I'm gonna watch something,
okay?"

"Feel free!" She returned, oblivious.

Shinji just sat down and watched appreciatively as he munched away contentedly. He had warned her of his habits, after all. Idly, he mused if he should offer her a washcloth as she got out. But he shook his head no, no that was far too clichéd. Far better to just offer her a towel and be done with it. Misato had a beautiful body; it would be worth the slap just to see it.

His other, other, OTHER sensei would have berated him at this point for not thinking of copping a feel. Shinji, however,
didn't like being that crass. And besides, it wasn't like he really needed any more Ki as it was. Misato broke him out of his thoughts with a question. "So, how'd it go? I mean, with your father and all -I know you two haven't seen each other in a long time. Was it too awkward?"

Another thing he liked about Misato, he realized as he formulated his answer for that -she had a really nice voice. Not to mention that she seemed to be a caring, kind hearted sort, if perhaps a wee bit immature. But that last just meant there was less of a generation gap to hurdle, unlike with Ritsuko. Now, there was a hard to touch beauty! "Eh, it was alright. Seems Father's idea of 'Male Bonding' was to rent some really, really bad porn, but after that we watched a few regular movies. I didn't know Father had such a running wit."

"Oh? How so?"

"Well, he would sometimes just say really funny things at times that were wholly appropriate: old movie quotes, improv character chatter, the like. It actually made his presence tolerable. Might do it again sometime."

"Huh. Your dad, with a sense of humor? I would have never thought him capable..." Misato trailed off, giving her hair a good scrub.

Shinji jumped in with his own question. "What'd you and Ritsuko do? I noticed that the fridge is still mostly full of beer."

"We stayed in, watched a really bad porn, and then felt too miserable to really get drunk afterwards, so we just went to sleep.
Good thing for Ritsu -she was called in early this morning,
something to do with a manual override with Unit One. She didn't explain, but it sounded urgent."

Shinji's eyebrow twitched. Probably has something to do with Father's Joyride, he said to himself.

'\-/'
"...can't just take an Evangelion out to 'Settle the Score'
with some punkass kid because he gave you bad porn!" Ritsuko screeched, in full rage. She had been livid about his use of Unit-01 to begin with -having learned the reason why he had Shinji take the Evangelion out only served to fuel her anger, and her hot gaze battled fiercely with his cool demeanor. "It's like, like... Killing a fly with a bazooka! Sure, the effect is nice, but the property damage is overwhelming! Have you anything -ANYTHING!- to say for yourself? At all?"

Sadly, Gendou's icy veneer was loosing ground. Fuyutsuki,
standing semi-vigilant by his side, had entered full granite mode just to keep from laughing aloud minutes ago. Gendou managed to look a little sheepish. "I apologize."

"You app... Appolo... Arrrrugh! Is that all you have to say?" She demanded.

"I answer to no man," he said, his artic gaze slipping fully back into place the moment she floundered. Behind the mask, he wondered what it was about her that made him even minutely vulnerable.

Her gaze hardened as well. "I see," was all she said, before turning briskly and exiting the office. The whole effect would have been more dramatic if she could have slammed the door. Sadly, one ton of flint steel is a wee bit more weight than a single diminutive blonde scientist can throw around.

After a long moment of silence, Fuyutsuki asked: "'I answer to no man'? What about Keel?"

"He isn't a man," Gendou said, his eyes sweeping over to his second in command, "...he's Cthulhu."

At that, Fuyutsuki did laugh.

'\-/'
"How about you?" Shinji asked Misato, still watching her through the shower door, "Going in today?"

"Yeah, later. I'm pulling the four to midnight shift tonight. You going to bother to go to school today at all?"

"Nah, prolly not," he replied lazily. "Missed half the day anyway. Missing the other half isn't going to hurt."

"You'll miss seeing Kizuko," She teased.

"Eh, I'll see her tomorrow," he shot back in a carefree,
uncommitted tone.

She just chuckled. "You playboy."

"What can I say -I like women. They're... enjoyable, in so many different ways."

She left it at that, and Shinji, through long years of practice, sensed she would soon be getting out of the shower. He sorted through plausible scenarios as he crept closer, silent as a cat, and settled on 'Koui Koi Toki Taoru', the 'Ill Timed Towel Courtesy'. Game plan: retrieve a towel and stay in position of doing so until she opened the shower door, at which point he would turn around, falsely startled, get a good look, and then yammer an apology and avert his gaze like a gentleman. He nodded to himself as he stooped to get a towel from the cabinet under the sink. Should work.

He didn't have long to wait. A few moments later, the water turned off, and the stall door opened. He jumped slightly, and turned ever so slowly to look at her, like someone who was going about their business when something unexpected happened -like having the girl get out of the shower while you were still in the room.
Shinji had his poker face on, a slightly started expression mixed with one part leer and two parts guilt. He was a master at it.

Ah yes, the 'surprised, startled, unsure' look that would quickly turn to embarrassment or anger, droplets of water still rolling down her wonderfully round, full breasts, the ragged scar that passed through her cleavage diagonally where his head once rested briefly so many days ago, her thin waist and shapely hips narrowing to her- Scar?

Misato's lips tightened into a pensive frown as she saw Shinji's eyes stop their downward travel and rivet back to her chest, eyes widening as his look of guilty pleasure disappeared for one of honest surprise. She sighed, took the towel from his hand and wrapped it tightly around herself. "Done staring yet?"

"Not really, no. Could you take the towel off again? I didn't get past the hips-" A resounding crack filled the small room, "Ow! What!"

Misato shook her hand out, and reminded herself not to do that again, as her hand seemed to be in more pain than Shinji's cheek despite the angry red mark she had left there. "Bloody pervert."

"Yeah, well, I gave you fair warning. Not my fault you didn't catch on. Can I ask where you got the, ah...?" showing a bit of tact, Shinji motioned crossways on his own chest, managing to look a trifle embarrassed.

"Antarctica. Now get out so I can dry off," She said,
pointing at the door.

He quickly exited while his mind puzzled out just why Misato had been in Antarctica, and just how one gets a scar from a place that no longer exists. It took him a minute to arrive to two conclusions: Either she had been there before the great ice continent had been nuked by one very irate messenger of god, or she had been there during said event; which was rather unlikely, all things considered. But, if she hadn't been there during 2nd Impact,
then how did she get such a bad scar? Such a wound had probably been very serious, perhaps even life-threatening at the time. And to even have been here, should would have had to been, what, ten or something?

His subconscious gave him the equivalent of a glare for thinking of so many unanswerable questions, and proceeded to dump them into the 'worry about later' section of his brain. Misato would either tell him or she wouldn't. Until then, he wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

He hopped over the back of the couch, settled himself, and grabbed the remote. "Might as well watch a bit of TV before deciding what to do today."

'\-/'
For those that knew Misato, seeing her after-reaction to Shinji's peeping-tom routine would have surprised them. Most would have expected her to fly into a rage, demanding an apology. Others might have expected her to be so embarrassed that she would not have the capability of being around Shinji for a few days. A very select few would expect her to simply shrug it off, her normal flippant attitude applying even to this.

It truth, she was simply standing before the mirror, her eyes locked on the reflection of her scar just as Shinji's had been minutes before. Yes, she was slightly embarrassed that the young man who shared her home had seen her nude. Yes, she was angry that he had taken advantage of the situation, but that was partially mollified by his previous admissions about himself and his warning -by which, though a double entendre, he had received permission.

No, what irked her was his reaction to her 'mark'. Normally when people saw it for the first time, they would attempt a reaction they felt would be acceptable. Ritsuko had simply cocked one delicate eyebrow and asked what had happened. Kaji's jaw had dropped while a look of remorse had entered his eyes. Her doctor had looked as if he had bitten into something sour, while her co-workers at the public baths would look slightly horrified and whisper amongst themselves with wild speculations.

(Gendou knew about it, but Gendou knew EVERYTHING anyway. Well, most everything. If he could reliably predict when the angels would next attack, Misato would probably have married him.)

She didn't know how to gauge Shinji's reaction. Surprise was definite, but that had seemed to be all, almost as if he were used to such things...

She shook herself, snapped her bra closed with an adroit twist of the wrists, and sighed. "I don't have time for this," she muttered, reaching for her blouse. So he saw me. So he saw my mark.
So he knows I danced a little closer with death than most and lived.
Big deal. I have responsibilities to attend at headquarters, and this kind of trivial introspection bullshit can wait for the weekend.

She buttoned the clasp of her skirt and checked her reflection. Picture perfect. Thus ready to conquer the world, Misato set out to do just that.

'\-/'
Shinji was bored. Misato had emerged from the bathroom completely dressed, shrugged her coat on, dropped her beret on her head, and had left for her shift over two hours early with only a simple 'I'm going now.'

'Return safely', he had replied, but that had been over twenty minutes ago, and now he was, as stated previously, bored.
"Maybe I should have gone to school today after all..."

Thinking of school brought to mind girls, which in turn reminded him of his little black book, and a certain promise of a Tokyo-03 tour from one Ibuki Maya.

And suddenly, Shinji had something to do.

'\-/'
Maya was lying in bed, half awake, as she had worked the 10pm - 6am shift last night, with another four hours of overtime doing debugging routines besides. Her unseeing eyes were staring out the window of her apartment within the GeoFront as her subconscious ruminated on how best to acquire one Akagi Ritsuko as a permanent body pillow.

Said ruminations were cut short by the telephone. Startled,
her subconscious attempted to prod her super-conscious awake, but the woman's Ego was in the midst of a pleasant dream involving several dairy products and one dirty blonde, and was far too busy to be disturbed.

So, Maya's subconscious screwed up its courage and answered the phone. "Ibuki."

"Ibuki Maya-san? This is Ikari Shinji," said the voice on the other end of the phone.

Ikari. The subconscious knew that name. It took a moment for the proper associations to present themselves for recognition, but then that was the Ego's job anyhow and the subconscious was only filling as a courtesy. "Yes, Pilot. What can I do for you?"

"Well, I was hoping you might be willing to show me the city this afternoon, if you're available. I have some free time and couldn't imagine a better way to spend it than in your company."

Maya's subconscious decided it liked this guy, the Ego be damned. "I would be delighted, Ikari-san. Can you meet me at entrance 3F of the GeoFront at Fourteen Hundred, Thirty Hours?"

"Two thirty PM?" he asked, then, "I'll be there. Later,
then, Ibuki-san."

Maya hung up the phone and forcibly prodded her super-
conscious awake while she went through the motions of getting dressed. She was about halfway through buttoning her blouse when her Ego finally realized what was going on, just what she had agreed to,
and also that she was humming softly and had a big grin on her face.
The smile was the first to go.

A small group of scrub jays, imported into the GeoFront to help keep the insect population down, took off suddenly -startled,
no doubt, by one Ibuki Maya, age 20, venting her anger rather vocally to one snickering subconscious.

It didn't help.

'\-/'
2:20 pm found Maya not quite dressed to the nines, but begrudgingly at GeoFront gate 3F, eyeing one Ikari Shinji as if he were the carrier of some plague. She was still mildly angry with her subconscious for 'setting her up', but Maya wasn't one to be breaking promises, even those made without her full consent.

Which still irked her. That her subconscious was still snickering faintly was of no great help to her mood. "Ready to go?"

Shinji in turn was giving Maya a skeptical look, as if to say 'if you didn't want to go, you could have mentioned it sooner.
He was, in fact, thinking this as he said, "Only if you're still up for it, Maya-san. I don't want to be a burden."

She sighed. "Shinji-kun... I'll be honest with you. I wasn't fully awake at the time you called, so I'm a bit disgruntled that I agreed to go on a date with you at all."

He blinked. "A date? Who said anything about a date?"

"Pardon?"

"I just wanted someone to show me around today. You know:
book stores, library, parks, arcades, places to eat, local hangouts,
that sort of thing. If I had wanted a date, I would have said,
'Would you like to go on a date with me?' not 'Would you mind showing me around town?'"

"You mean to tell me you make a distinction between the two?"

"I'm an Ikari," he shrugged, "As half-truths and mind games are our specialty, distinctions are always important."

'\-/'
"Sir!" Announced the short, stocky, and balding business suit-clad security man as he entered the office of the High Commander, "We have found the person you requested."

Gendou's smirk turned sharkish, causing the S3 division commander's eyes to widen behind his dark sunglasses. "Bring him in,
if you would, Mister Garibaldi."

"Sir!" He said, then Sub-vocalized a command into a throat mike. Not a moment later, two more division S3 security goons came in, carrying a squirming sack between them into Gendou's Office.
Behind Gendou, Fuyutsuki's eyes widened as well.

"Gendou, tell me you didn't..."

The old professor's only answer was that same smile that had paled the stalwart S3 section chief. Fuyutsuki, in contrast, only blanched slightly.

The two goons opened the sack and deposited one scrawny,
geeky looking fellow, who was peering about as if he had been denied his spectacles. It was quite obvious the man was scared out of his wits, and he was shaking uncontrollably. Gendou strode forward and ripped off the duct tape covering the man's mouth, causing him to yelp in pain. Immediately he began stammering questions.

"Where am I? Who are you people? What do you want? Why have you taken me? Is it money? Do you need money? I can giv-"

Gendou backhanded him with a DVD case. The result was far more noisy than painful, but the man shut up afterwards as Gendou tossed the box to the ground before him. It seemed to all the man had gone from being simply scared to absolutely puzzled.

"Is. This. Yours?" Gendou ground out the question, obviously knowing the answer but wishing to hear the man condemn himself.

"My masterpiece! Where did you find it! So rare, it is! Why,
it's the best porn ever produced by Virtuo Studios! That's my baby"
The man continued to yammer on about how it was, invariably, the best pornographic film ever produced by man, and how the ardent Angels would weep at the sight of it.

Privately, Gendou had to agree; any Angel would inevitably break into tears at the sight of it... tears of anguish.

He motioned to the two goons, and they nodded, and prepared to do what goons did best. Yet, as they made to draw their firearms,
Gendou held up a hand. "Do it elsewhere, I don't want blood on my Sephiroth."

The goons nodded, pistol whipped the man into unconsciousness, re-sacked him, and carried him out. After a shrug and a 'what a waste of my time' gesture, Garibaldi followed.

This left Fuyutsuki alone with Gendou and the DVD. Slowly,
the old professor stooped to retrieve the box, and eyed it critically. "You're having a man shot for... making bad porn?"

"Consider it a mercy killing, if you will."

"Mercy? For who?"

"Me," Gendou said simply.

Fuyutsuki sighed, shaking his head. "I swear, Ikari, ever since you tracked down that Subaru engineer who designed the engine compartment for the 1983 GL station wagon, you've been incorrigible."

"Oh? What was so wrong about that?" Gendou asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Other than you cutting his left arm off and flogging him with it? Nothing. Nothing at all," Kozo replied blithely.

'\-/'
"I wonder where de new guy is..." Touji muttered aloud, just before tearing into his lunch purchase. "I mean," chew, swallow "s'not like one of dem alien things is attakin' or nothin'."

"Angels," Kensuuke muttered, flipping through the pages of 'Military Fan!' magazine, "They've been formally classified as 'Angels', though 'Shito' was also under consideration, I understand."

It was lunchtime at ShinSeki High School, and the two boys were in their homeroom with the rest of their classmates who had either brought a lunch with them or had nothing else better to do than stick around and wait for class to resume.

"Uh, okay." Touji shrugged off the excess information like a duck does water, "Still, where is dat guy? 'E should be 'ere, s'not like he can jus' skip class whenever 'e feels like."

"Technically, he can."

"Say WHAT?" Touji was eyed, briefly, by the entire body of students still in the classroom upon his outburst. He glared at them until their attention turned elsewhere. Well, almost everyone -Touji's glare did nothing to Kizuko, who hadn't stopped looking out the window. "Ya mean 'e can jus' not show?" he whispered, albeit loudly.

"Pretty much. Since we're effectively under Martial Law at this point, Ikari's status as a Nerv Pilot gives him immunity from civilian laws and punishment for such." Kensuuke explained.

Touji looked blank. "Say again, in Nipponese, doc."

Kensuuke sighed. "He could kill someone and not get in trouble, if he could justify it."

"Oh. Cool. Think we could get 'im to off Kurasawa-sensei?"

"No."

"Oh. Damn." Touji sighed, and quickly finished his meal.
After another moment, he asked again, "So, where is 'e?"

"How many times do I have to tell you 'I don't know' before it sinks in, Touji? If you're so interested, why don't you ask Ayanami?"

Touji swiveled his gaze to look at the blue haired girl. In response, Kizuko turned to look directly at him. She always did that. It weirded him out. "Hell no. You ask 'er. She freaks me out,
man."

Deep into an article about the U.S.S Over The Rainbow's new mission in the Pacific, Kensuuke's wit had an unexpected and perfectly opportune chance to exert itself. "What? Touji, Mr. Macho,
THE all out bad-ass, rising young star of the high school basketball team, age 17, scared of a mere slip of a girl?"

Touji's gaze backtracked just as slowly to lock onto Kensuuke, who suddenly realized he might have gone too far by dint of the bayonets Touji's eyes had affixed in preparation to gut him.
"Uh, heheh... Yeah, she scares me too."

Touji let it drop. "Man, I dunno which'ed be worse -Ayanami,
or the exact opposite of Ayanami."

"Inverse Ayanami?" Kensuuke looked up from his magazine,
suddenly interested in the conversation, "What would that be?"

"umn... A girl, uh, fiery like, real rambunctious, vulgar,
rude, athletic, with big boobs, and uh... No bandages." Touji thought a moment, then added, "She'd have'ta be foreign, too."

"I'm not sure, Touji -that sounds kinda hot to me."

"Youse right, Ken. I think I jus' painted da picture of mah dream girl! Gonna have ta get me onena those."

'\-/'
Somewhere in Germany...

Asuka Shoryu-Langly stopped in mid-word on her forty-page report for advanced Japanese, shuddering. She quickly saved the document before casting her lovely blue eyes about her room for something warmer than her current loose tank top and short-shorts to wear. While not highly susceptible to catching cold quickly, she felt as if someone had just walked over her grave -her stomach seemed suddenly interested in a butterfly collection, and her nerves seemed to have decided buck was the shot for the day.

All in all her night had just gone from bad to worse.

Swearing in German, then English, with a follow through of Japanese for good measure, she wrapped the bed's comforter about herself and decided to wait this sudden bout of anxiety out. Perhaps she was enduring too much strain, as of late. Maybe just a wee bit too much stress trying to balance Martial Arts classes, Ballet,
Piano Lessons, Fencing, Evangelion Synch Tests, Combat Training,
Tutoring, and all, while attempting to get that second BA in Japanese.

Staring wistfully at the computer, she shut down the word processor and then deleted the file she had worked so hard on up to this point. Screw that second BA, she was only aiming to get it as a way to pass the time and learn a few thousand more Kanji. She snorted softly to herself as she began to calm a bit. Like hell was she -she!-- Asuka Shoryu-Langly ever going to set foot in Japan anyway! Ha! The entire idea was laughable.

"In the morning I am going to call the University and drop this silly class. I am through with running myself into the ground.
I shall never really have an opportunity to use this language as it is, so I will simply stop now and cut my losses." As she finally settled down, she decided to do just that.

Big mistakes are often made for small reasons.

'\-/'
Shamshiel was NOT a 'happy Angel'. Far from it.

I will build for you a body which will make your enemies quail in fear. Shamshiel repeated the GOD's words in a mocking mental tone as he eyed the reflection of his purple behemoth self in the blue ocean waters below. Bah. 'Light of Day' they called me.
'Mighty Sun of God' they once acclaimed. No more! Now it's gonna be 'Shamshiel the Phallus!', 'Shamshiel Johnson!', or, more likely than not, 'Mr. Loe Wang'. Thanks a Lot, GOD.

So grumped the former ruler of the fourth heaven and prince of paradise as he flew over the calm waters of the pacific en route to Japan. Hell! Even pulling guard duty on the Garden of Eden was better than this... this... effrontery! This is even worse than when I had to give that Moses guy the grand tour of heaven! My honor is impugned! Who did Hilkiah give the treasures of David and Solomon too? Me! That's who! ME! And for all my repute, all my laud and honor, I receive this? HA! I should lose on general principle!

A lightning bolt flew out of the clear sky, falling squarely upon the irritated Angel. Crack-Zapp! Ow. Okay, maybe not.

And lo! For the heavens did rumble ominously, spitting further electrical might upon the hapless Angel of GOD. Crickty-
Crack-Zapperfical-Zappity-Zapp Son of a mythos! Fine! I get it.
Go, beat the guardian, get Adam, and be back before dinner. Yes MOM.

KRAKATOA-OLYMPIAN-JOLT

Eeeeyow!

'\-/'
Within the familiar confines of Nerv headquarters, Misato sighed. It was one of those days, Shinji's earlier stunt notwithstanding. She was currently dodging the stack of paperwork on her desk by pleading more important business on the command deck,
but in truth there was nothing there which really needed her direct supervision, and she suspected the bureaucracy knew this as well but was too busy to mention it. Thus the sigh, as she loathed paperwork with a passion. "Maybe I should hire an Aide de Camp..." she muttered to herself.

Ritsuko caught the mutter from where she was lounging in Maya's usual chair. She too was dodging work, more because of sheer exasperation than anything else, Gendou's earlier stunt notwithstanding. The R&D team was currently in the process of manually checking Evangelion Unit-01 for any minor damage the computer diagnostic was unable to locate, and they wanted her on hand in case they found any more large, unexplainable bolts. She too sighed. "It's one of those days, isn't it?"

"Yep. Makes you wish you hadn't gotten up this morning,
don't it?" Misato returned.

"Yes. Almost feels as if today was simply set aside for everything to go wrong, doesn't it?"

"Yep. Proverbial fecal matter hitting the ancient oscillating impeller system, and us catching the splatter, right?"

Matoko and Aoba looked at each other, a single eyebrow raising on both, as they turned their gaze on the two women who continued to run down the list of ominous tidings. They knew how it had to end.

"Only one way to top this shit list." Misato grumbled.

"Indeed. Only one single event could possibly make this day any worse than it already has been."

The Magi, complacent with their number-crunching, suddenly took stock of an unprecedented series of ionic discharges detected off the eastern coast of Japan. They conferred between themselves,
and unanimously decided, if not the cause, what lay in that area.
They sent this datum to the consoles of Hyuuga, Shigeru, and Ibuki,
uncaring that Ibuki was not present.

Aoba and Makoto switched their focal point from the two women to their consoles as the Pattern: Orange light flared prominently, and sighed. Misato and Ritsuko, too, noticed this, and also sighed, although theirs decidedly more resigned than the techs.

"Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio..." Ritsuko muttered.

"Oh, Fuck Me," Misato summed up in layman.

"Code Orange, Ma'am. Sound General Alert?" Makoto asked redundantly.

"Yes, sound the General Alert and notify the cages, have Unit One ready for sortie, STAT." Misato said, with as much restraint as she could muster.

"You can't," Ritsuko said, tiredly. "Unit One's currently under manual diagnostic. Won't be ready for hours."

"Shit. Belay that order, make Unit Zero ready for sortie,
STAT, and pray. Magi!" Misato barked to the computers, "Overlay map of Japan with location of the Fourth Angel."

The computers promptly did so, a bight red dot off the coast of Japan with a line connecting it with 'ANGEL' in orange as a descriptor. They also included a handy red line indicating the Angel's path towards Tokyo-3, and the estimated time of arrival. A little over thirty minutes.

"Shit-Shit. Magi, display locations of Pilots."

The map zoomed in, until Tokyo-3 was visible, and three lines appeared labeled Kizuko, Rei, and Shinji; Kizuko's line was moving towards HQ from school, Rei's was projected within the Geofront, as expected, and Shinji's...

Shinji's line was in the town outskirts, on a direct intercept course with the Angel's projected angle of attack.

"Oh. Fuck. Me." Misato repeated. "Magi, alert Pilot Ikari of his impending doom."

"Please define 'Impending Doom'." The Magi asked calmly.

Before Misato could yell at the innocent machine, Ritsuko answered, "Alert pilot Ikari as to the current situation, ETA of the Forth Angel, and that he is currently in the Fourth Angel's flight path to Tokyo-Three."

"Compliance." Said the Magi, then: "Error."

"Error? What Error!" Misato shouted.

"Pilot Ikari's communication device is currently malfunctioning due to his higher than average capacity for storing human energies."

"Which means...?" Misato queried.

The computer emitted something very close to a sigh. "His cell phone 'got zapped' by his Ki, Captain."

Ritsuko gave the computer a blank look and asked it incredulously, "Do you mean to tell me you can measure his Ki?"

"The current definition of Ki is insufficient for scientific measure, but the term is viewed as an appropriately analogous theoretical idea by two votes of three. Yes, Director, Ki is similar to the energies radiated by an AT Field, thus rendering the emanations detectable by the same systems used to measure AT Field strength."

Ritsuko was astonished. "But what about...? No. Magi, make a note: Remind me of this in two days."

"Noted, Director. It will be pleasant to continue this conversation with you at that time."

"If we live through this attack, you mean." Misato muttered.

"Of course, Captain. One should infer that to be obvious"
replied the Magi.

"Oh be quiet." She snapped, then amended, "Until we need you again, or you have something relevant to say."

"Compliance."

Misato huffed, and glared at the map while Ritsuko snickered weakly. "What the hell is Shinji doing out there?"

'\-/'
"See? Isn't this nice?" Maya asked, as Shinji pulled the Vespa he had purchased into a parking spot in the large park outside of town.

That he had even bought the little black moped had surprised her. They had been passing by a Vespa Boutique when she had started to get a little tired from all the walking they had done. Shinji had noticed and promptly disappeared inside, emerging not five minutes later with the sleek little black and grey two-tone motor scooter, a pair of helmets, and a set of goggles for himself. After that, they had ridden to several places, and Maya had discovered Shinji was a lot firmer than he looked, muscle wise.

But he's still comfy to lean against... Maya thought happily, placing her helmet on the seat next to Shinji's as they got off the bike to stretch and walk the park grounds a bit. She blinked, reassessed that statement, and mentally sighed, ...for a guy. Which he is, by the way. Did you forget?'

Oh shut up and enjoy yourself, you ninny, replied the subconscious to the Ego, When was the last time you've had this much fun?

Well, there was the other day when Ritsuk-

That DOESN'T involve Doctor Akagi, cut in the Subconscious, whom we shall further refer to as Su-chan, annoyed.

"ummnn..." Maya said aloud, unaware she had spoken. Not for a while, I admit.

Shinji looked at her askance, but said nothing, chalking it up to the internal debate that had been going on since he had met up with her today. It was kind of odd really, but she had shown him several very interesting places he planned on returning too, and she did pay attention to him when he was speaking to her, so he let it slide. Who knows, he said to himself, ...maybe she's trying to convince herself to sleep with me? Another sideways glance at the young woman in question, before he rolled his eyes and gave a quiet snort of derision. Yeah, right. In your dreams, Ikari.

...we should roll him! emphasized Su-chan, pulling up a few graphic fantasies of this to illustrate her point, Pillow him,
have a good tumble, do the beast with two backs! I mean, c'mon, when was the last time you had a good lay?

"Shut up, shut up, shut up Shut Up SHUT UP! I am not going to fuck Shinji!" She yelled, attracting the attention of several passers by as well as said Ikari. "Oh, shit."

Well, now you've done it, said Su-chan bitterly. Never even get the chance now.

At first Shinji was surprised, having his idle musings affirmed in such a manner. Then he was a bit disappointed, because he was quite convinced Maya would be a wonderful lay. Finally he settled on indignant anger. "Ibuki-sama," he said quietly, "...how many times must I emphasize to you I do not consider this outing a date?"

Oh shit. 'Ibuki-sama'? He's mad. He's very mad. Maya covered her mouth with her hand as her eyes darted from his face to his eyes to his frown in a seemingly endless cycle of mute witness to his calm anger. "Oh, Shinji, I... I mean... Oh, I don't know what I mean. I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For..." Maya trailed off as a beautiful platinum blonde American girl walked by, wearing little more than a bikini in the warm April weather, her breasts bouncing agreeably. Impossible!
Those are... Are... Perfect! I mean, whoa! I want... Maya finished her mental outburst with a whine.

Shinji, for his part, had noticed her too, but had focused back on Maya after a brief glance, preferring a smaller breasted woman himself. In doing so, he could see Maya's attention was still fixed on the foreign girl, and her eyes had that semi-glazed look Touji got whenever he and Kensuuke watched the girls in their swimming suits during P.E. It was the same look his Other-Other-
OTHER sensei got whenever he thought of going on a panty raid. Or going to the beach. Or the mall. Or a walk in the park. Or...

Shaking his mind out of a list that was well nigh endless,
Shinji reevaluated Maya, and several things clicked into place. She talks about Ritsuko all the time. She never mentions anything about guys at all. She took me to places I enjoyed. She looks at girls the same way I do. She's a Lesbian... who wants to lay me. ... ?
At that point, Shinji fell over laughing.

Maya blinked out of her stupor and looked at Shinji incredulously. "What? What? What's so funny?"

It took a moment for Shinji to calm down enough to try to speak, but the effort of not laughing through what he wanted to say just sent him back to laughing again, clutching his sides and rolling a bit from side to side on the grass. Maya 'Mou'ed in exasperation, crossed her arms, and waited.

It took a while. A long while. At the end of which, she was even mildly amused at his behavior. He was panting now, every other breath leaving in chuckles as he laid on the grass, staring unseeing at the blue sky. "Oh, oh! I hurt all... Over..."

"You ready to tell me what's so funny now?"

"yeah... Sure..." He wheezed, "What's funny... is you.
Miss Contradiction-In-Terms."

"What do you mean...?" Maya asked, puzzled.

"You, who are... Obviously attracted to girls... debating the merits of... having sex... with me. Who is most definitely.
not a girl. In the slightest." The thought sent him to snickering again, albeit softly, as he really did hurt from all the laughing he had done.

Maya's thoughts ground to a halt. She blink-blinked (Squeegie-Squeegie). She sighed, and sat down next to Shinji's prone form. And then she laughed as well, not nearly as hard as Shinji had, but with a fair amount of humor nonetheless. After she was through laughing, she drew her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms about them and asked quietly, "How'd you figure it out? That I like girls, I mean."

"It wasn't until you oogled the foreigner that I knew for sure, but your attitude on this afternoon's outing was a big tip off."

"You're not mad?" She asked after a moment.

"Me? No, no... Why would I be? I can understand your attitude towards this 'date' now, and I'm not angry at all. Honored,
I should say, that you seem to like me enough that part of you is entertaining the idea of 'entertaining' me."

"Oh, that was horrible." Maya groused, eyeing Shinji. "You can't pun at all."

"I know. I shouldn't even try." He admitted, sheepishly. "I mean, I'm good at lots of physical things, but I can't pun to save my life."

"'Lots of physical things', huh? Does that include sex?"

Shinji shook his head. "No, I haven't yet. I'd love too, but truth be told, I haven't found the time, or the proper partner.
Until I came to Tokyo-Three, I was training in Martial Arts, day in,
day out. Doesn't leave much time for play."

"And now?" Maya asked, glancing at the sky of blue.

"Now I have the time, and plenty of willing girls... but I still haven't found the girl, yet. I hope I do, before I save the world... after that it'll be kind of hard to find her, celebrity status and all."

"When you save the world? Not if? You sound pretty confident."

"Of course I am. Be pointless to try if I didn't think I could do it. I'd be endangering everybody if that were the case."

"So what are you looking for?"

"In a girl? I don't know, but I have the feeling I'll know it when I see it."

"Anyone give you a good feeling yet?"

"Now that, is a secret." He said, smiling. "But seriously, I think, maybe, yes."

"Can I ask who?" Maya asked, curious.

"Well, there's this thing between me and Rei that I don't quite get. It's like, I dunno... Like I met her in a past life or something, you know? I get the same feeling from Kizuko, too... but not as strongly. I like them both, even though I've only been here for a few weeks now, and one or the other might be who I'm looking for. Only time will tell."

"Rei is cute, and she seems like a nice girl. But Kizuko.
I don't know, there's just something cold and mysterious about her... you know?"

"Yeah. I've noticed. Ritsuko called it an 'ice veneer' once.
But that's kinda what it is, she's holed herself up inside and doesn't let anyone in to see the real her."

"She works with your dad and Ritsuko in a lot of experimental stuff with the Eva's, and from what I hear she was deeply involved in the early stages of the program. Maybe something happened with the Eva's to make her act like this?" Maya wondered aloud.

Shinji shuddered slightly, remembering his spat with Unit-
00. Oh yeah. Something happened alright, the Eva said 'I will eat your soul, for it is crunchy and tastes good with ketchup'. That thought led to another, Hey, wait... if Kizuko's soul is in Unit Zero, then wouldn't a soul be in Unit One, too? But whose? Not Rei's, she's more or less normal, and I haven't seen anyone other than Father acting like Kizuko, and if his soul was in there, I think I'd know about it...

"You look wrapped in thought." Maya asked, bringing Shinji back to reality.

"Oh, sorry. Yeah, my brain ran off with me for a minute. Do you happen to know who did the first Synch test with Unit One"
Shinji asked in return.

"No, sorry. I was only hired about a year and a half ago, so I wasn't here when they did Unit One's initial synch testing. I would assume it was Rei, though. Why?"

"Eh, just curious, is all." He replied, shrugging, and then sprung his body off the ground to sit next to Maya in Suri Waza.
Maya had barely seen him move.

"Wow. And you just call yourself a martial artist?"

"Yep. Humble folk, we serious martial artists. All the floozies take titles like 'Grand Master of Such and Such style' or 'Supreme Kai' or 'Grand Dragon' or... well, the list goes on for a while. Anyone who knows anything about martial arts knows the more humble the artist, the better he is. Usually. Although it's fun to go and beat up floozies on occasion, sometimes the floozy is pretty good."

"I can only imagine. Do you practice often?"

"Recently, I haven't had much time to practice. Been too busy at school and at headquarters doing tests. Besides that, I really need a good sparring partner to keep in top form, and frankly there just isn't a martial artist in the area that's good enough for that. I mean, I'd end up either hurting them or simply dodging their attacks and piss them off, so... I'm going to hold off a bit until I can find someone to train with. I don't like it, but... There's not much to be done about it."

"You know, I heard that the German Pilot is a good martial artist. Been practicing since she was four, I think that's what Misato said. She's about your age now, I think. She's supposed to be transferred here from Nerv-G after Unit Two is completed. Maybe she'd be good enough to train with...?"

Shinji gave it some thought. "Maybe... depends on her temperament and her instructors. If she's been sticking with it and constantly pushing her Sensei to teach her more and more, she might just be at a level where I could shape her into a good sparring partner. It all depends, but I certainly hope so."

\-/'
Somewhere in Germany...

Asuka sat bolt upright in bed, jolted awake so quickly the motion almost made her ill. If the evening's earlier case of nerves had bothered her, it was pale in comparison to this! Had the last cause of this feeling been someone merely walking over her grave,
this recent attack was someone exhuming her coffin, cutting her cold lifeless body into small pieces, and then feeding said pieces to swine.

"What the hell is going on?" She asked herself as the feelings of dread, anxiety --was that hopelessness?-- slowly faded from her system, leaving the poor girl shuddering with her arms wrapped protectively about herself. Surely I'm not that bad off! Am I losing my mind, or...? She sneezed. Maybe It's just a cold? That must be it. Surely! Just a cold, or maybe a touch of the flu. Yes.
Of course. Bloody pervasive virii. I shall make a visit to the physician on staff at Headquarters first thing tomorrow morning!

And with that, Asuka promptly fell back into her soft bed and spent the next few hours staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep.

I don't want to lose my mind, like... Like...

"...momma..."

\-/'
Misato was pacing back and forth on the command deck,
puzzling out just how they were going to get word to Shinji. Sending a runner would take too long. He wasn't in the city proper so he wouldn't hear the general alert for civilians to take shelter. His cell phone was dead, and he had nothing else on him they could use...

The Angel kept coming, The Pattern: Orange had been confirmed as Pattern: Blue, and time was slipping by. They had little more than fifteen minutes to get Shinji back in time to pilot Unit-00. "Shit."

Gendou strode in with the impeccable calm he always seemed to exert. "Status?" he asked quietly.

"Sir, Angel is confirmed, at fourteen minutes, fifty five seconds out from Tokyo-Three, mark." Reported Hyuuga.

Shigeru spoke up from his console, forced to do real work since Maya wasn't around. "Unit Zero is ready for sortie with Pilot Ikari, but we have yet to contact the pilot and alert him to the threat."

"And why not?" asked the High Commander of Nerv.

"His Ki zapped his cell phone," Misato explained as she stopped pacing to turn and face the Commander. "So we can't contact him that way. He's outside the city, off in Nayou Koen, reason unknown, right in the path of the Fourth Angel, who isn't slowing down in the slightest."

"His... Ki?" Gendou asked, confused, before something else Aoba had said finally registered. "Unit Zero? Why is Unit Zero readied for Sortie?"

"Unit One is still undergoing required manual diagnostic due to your earlier use of it, sir," Ritsuko said tiredly from Ibuki's console chair.

"I see," was all Gendou said to that. "However, Unit Zero..." Gendou trailed off, staring hard at the diagram in the main display.

"It will not pose a problem," said a new voice, much to the surprise of all. Kizuko spoke again as she came to stand next to Misato, matching gazes with Gendou. "He has received permission.
Ikari's use of Unit Zero will not pose a problem."

"Indeed. Continue, Captain Katsuragi."

"As I was saying, we haven't found a way of contacting Shinji yet, and until he gets here, we're fucked."

"Katsuragi-san, your language is something quite atrocious"
Kizuko said, looking at the Captain quizzically.

"Well, excuse me for not being in a supercalifragelisticexpialadous mood today, Miss Poppins. What the hell are you doing here, anyway?" Misato returned, glaring at the injured girl. "You're not combat ready, you should be as far from ground zero as possible."

"Incorrect, Katsuragi-san. As a Pilot Major in the Nerv Angel Response Team, it is my duty to be here at all times of crisis. As to how I was notified," She held up her cell phone, and gave it the same quizzical look she had bestowed on Misato, "The Magi informed me of my 'Impending Doom', stating an Angel had been observed and was currently en route to Tokyo-Three in minus twenty eight minutes, and that I was not in its flight path. I discerned from this information that I was needed here at Nerv."

"'Impending Doom?' You're kidding me..." Ritsuko glanced at the Magi's housings below. "Magi, define 'Impending Doom'."

"When the command to notify pilots of Impending Doom is received, the Magi are to contact all Pilots, notify them of the current status, the Angel's Estimated Time of Arrival, and their current location in reference to the Angel's Angle of Attack, or flight path." Said the Magi. "Do you wish to edit this command?"

"At a later date." Ritsuko sighed. "Good Job, Misato."

"How the hell was I supposed to know the bloody computer would do that? Besides, you're the one who told it what to do, so it's really your fault," Misato returned, then said, "Magi, inform Ibuki, Maya, of Impending Doom."

"Compliance." Then: "Error."

"Oh God, what is it NOW?" Misato grumbled.

"Ibuki, Maya's communication device is currently malfunctioning due to contact with Pilot Ikari's Ki." Clarified the Magi.

"His... Ki?" Kizuko asked.

"What the hell is Maya doing with Shinji?" Ritsuko demanded,
staring in bewilderment as a line marked 'Ibuki' sprang up next to Shinji's own on the big map. "That... That... That Damn Kid! Not only is he going to get his own fool self killed, but my protégé too! Damn it!"

"Magi, withdraw the armored buildings into the GeoFront"
Kizuko stated.

"Unable to acquiesce to your request, Pilot. Minimum clearance level of Indigo needed for personnel to lower armored buildings."

"What? Why do you want to do that, Ayanami?" Misato asked,
only to watch as Ritsuko sprang to her feet.

"Do it! Withdraw the buildings into the GeoFront, GOD speed!" The blonde scientist ordered, looking to Kizuko, "Brilliant,
absolutely brilliant! Shinji can't help but notice the buildings lowering, and he'll know something serious is going on!" She ran over to Kizuko and hoisted the young girl up in her arms from behind, swinging her back and forth slightly as she exclaimed,
"You're such a good girl!"

Kizuko made a small sound of shocked protest, but seeing as the scientist wasn't in any hurry to put her down, she shrugged slightly, "Of course, Director."

Ritsuko gently lowered the girl back to the ground, and looked a bit abashed. "Err.. Sorry. Carried away by the excitement and all."

"Understood."

"Launch Unit Zero, immediately. Use whichever launch rail you need to get the Evangelion as close to Shinji's position as possible. And have that Progressive Katana strapped to the platform,
he'll need it." Gendou ordered. "If the buildings being lowered does not convey the proper message, seeing the Evangelion will." Gendou did not voice the I hope he was thinking, and turned to Fuyutsuki,
whom had just arrived. "You're late, Professor," he accused in a stage whisper.

"Yes, well..." Kozo replied in the same low tone, "I'm not as spry as I once was, you know. This place is huge. Besides, I was... busy with something."

Gendou gave him a harsh glance. "You weren't hitting on the Ensigns again, were you?"

"Ahem Of course not. Just making polite conversation, you understand."

"Oh, I understand. I understand perfectly."

Fuyutsuki sighed. "Just shut up and watch the monitor."

\-/'
"Say, what's with the buildings?" Shinji asked Maya,
watching said buildings sinking into the ground from a vista point over looking Tokyo-3. "They're, um... sinking?"

"Sinking?" She asked, then took a look for herself. "That's odd."

"What?"

"Well, procedure states that the buildings are only to be lowered in event of an imminent attack..." Maya turned to look at Shinji. "You don't think...?"

"No way. Maybe it's just a drill... or something..."

The both turned to look at Tokyo-3 again as the tall form of Unit-00 suddenly appeared, head snapping to attention after the sudden stop... and remaining there, scant kilometers away, final locks still engaged.

"Oh shit." Maya and Shinji chorused, staring at the Evangelion for a moment before they turned as one and ran for the Vespa. Shinji arrived first, donning his helmet and goggles, still fresh as Maya, winded, grabbed her helmet as he started the bike with a kick and revved the throttle. She dropped behind him and held on tight as the young man peeled out noisily, heading them straight towards the Eva.

One problem -there was a mountainside between them and it,
down hill and moderately forested. Taking any form of motorized transportation down the 40-degree grade looked like an excellent way to die, from Maya's perspective.

Shinji, student of the Anything Goes Extreme Martial Arts Bicycle Combat Champion Shampoo, didn't seem to agree. "Hold on"
was all he said before opening the throttle to full and plunging them down the mountain.

"I don't wanna die!" Maya shrieked, as she watched the surrounding trees blur by at a hundred and fifty kilometers an hour.
She shut her eyes, but quickly decided that motion without visual was even worse than staring her death in the face. Her eyes opened again in time to see them heading straight for a large tree,
seemingly set almost horizontal from the mountain face. "AH! Shin-
JIIIIII!"

His response was to try and convince the bike to go faster as he used the tree's trunk as an impromptu ramp and continued along until they were falling with the bike in open air. "Now I'll never get to have Ritsuko!" She moaned, clinging to Shinji even tighter than before.

Shinji just rolled his eyes at the proclamation, and muttered "Oh ye of little faith..." before reaching behind himself to get a good grip on Maya. The Vespa's response to this shift of balance was to nose down even further, creating an even steeper angle of decent. Shinji just waited calmly, eyeing the distance between them, the Evangelion, and the ground.

Then, without warning, he jumped off the bike, taking Maya with him. She in turn screamed bloody murder. She continued on a bit, until she realized that the falling sensation had, mostly,
stopped. She dared to peek.

They were still descending, all right, but, slower, straight for Unit-00's shoulder. "...we're... flying?" she asked.

"No. Just falling real slow. As opposed to falling real fast. Now, be quiet and think happy thoughts, Tinkerbell." Shinji commanded, focused entirely on getting to the Evangelion.

Maya complied, and found herself thinking thoughts of a blonde scientist and one courageously stupid brown-haired martial artist. He landed on Unit-00 a moment or two after that, and let go of her, sighing in exhaustion.

"Damn, that was hard. You're lighter than I thought, Maya. I coulda jumped a bit later and still gotten here. Well, better safe than sorry. Oh, wait... The Vespa!" He announced, quickly looking for it. After a moment, he espied it lodged in the boughs of a tree.
"Well, of all the luck in the world! I could have sworn it'd be a total loss..."

"Shinji..." Maya said, annoyed.

He turned towards her, his helmet in one hand as the other pulled his goggles down around his neck. "Huh?" Crack! "Oww!"

Maya shook her hand out and told herself to never do that again, it hurt too much. "Don't ever do that to me again! I thought I was gonna die!"

\-/'
Everyone in the command deck had seen Shinji's prodigious leap, via the Eva's external sensors, and was amazed. Aoba was the first to speak up. "Dude! That kid's just like Goku from Dragonball!
Honest!"

"For once, I might agree with you, Shigeru." Makoto said,
shaking his head. "Unbelievable."

"Magi... Connect me with Unit Zero's external speakers"
Misato grumbled.

"Connected, Captain."

"Are you two going to sit there all day, or are you going to kill the Angel? It's due in about five minutes, you realize."

"What?" Came Shinji's voice, "Oh. Hey Misato. Sure, but.
What am I to do with Maya, here?"

"Oh, you're calling me Maya, now?" Came Maya's voice, still a trifle annoyed.

"Hey, we've been through a death-defying experience together, and now I'm about to save the world, again, so I think it's fine."

"Yeah, whatever. Go ahead, do what you want."

"Does that include...?"

"No!"

"Shut up and PILOT THE DAMN THING!" Misato yelled at them both. "Let Maya in the Entry Plug with you-"

"That is not advised." Gendou said quietly. "Unless..." He looked to Kizuko, who had remained on the command deck.

She returned his gaze, then shrugged. "Do as you wish."

Misato nodded. "Put Maya in the plug with you, and kill the damn thing."

\-/'
Shinji shrugged, then headed towards the Entry Plug, Maya in tow. The plug ejected, hissed open, and Shinji jumped in, then extended a hand to Maya. She accepted, and was hoisted in as well.
Shinji stowed his and Maya's helmets behind the control chair, then took his place in it, and thumbed the button to close the hatch as Maya ducked in next to him.

"Where do you want me, and what should I do?" She asked.

He blinked at that. There were so many inappropriate replies he could give. "Umn..."

He was spared the choice by Ritsuko. "While sitting you in his lap is an option, Maya, it would only cause too much interference. Can you squeeze in behind Shinji?"

"Of course, Sempai." She said, as she did so. "Like this?"

"Perfect." Ritsuko said, then to Shinji, "If you hurt my Protégé, I'll have to kill you."

"Won't touch a hair on her pretty little head." He replied,
pulling the center console up until it had a snug fit about them both. "This is going to suck if we get thrown about."

"Why?" Asked Maya.

Shinji gestured to the controls. "These double as a restraint system, and it isn't meant for two people."

"Oh. Is that bad?"

"Only if you plan on surviving a short drop with a sudden stop." He replied absently. "Okay, Ritsuko, plug me in."

The shell of the Entry Plug performed a half rotation to the right, while the center console remained stationary. Below them, a small panel lit with an icon of Unit-00's face, and a scintillating display of colors washed over the displays as systems began to connect. "Cool..." Maya breathed, ruffling Shinji's hair a bit,
"Does this always happen? It's like watching the Aurora Borealis..."

"Yeah. Everything's just peachy until the LCL Flood. Oh, and when the floating nekkid chick shows up."

Maya blinked. "The... what?"

He didn't respond, even after nothing other than a normal linkup happened; though Shinji could have sworn he had heard a light, tittering laugh, and a soft caress on his left cheek.
"Okay..." he said as the world seen through the single Cyclops eye of Unit-00 came into focus at last, "Where is it?"

"Final safety locks disengage." Misato said over the comm.
"Good luck, you guys."

"It looks bad, you two. There's noise in the Nerve Pulses.
Can you do anything to clear that up?" Ritsuko asked.

Shinji looked to the comm. window, "Like what?"

"Proper synchronization requires you to be completely focused on one goal. With the two of you focusing on different things, this lowers the synch rate for every conflict of interest transmitted to the Nerve Pulses." Ritsuko explained.

"So that means what, exactly?"

Ritsuko sighed. "Maya, can you do us all a favor and think thoughts of death, murder, and destruction?"

"I don't think I have any, Sempai..." Maya said meekly.

"Magi, turn off the comm. for a minute, would you?" Shinji asked as he attempted to move the sluggish Unit-00, "I need to say something to Maya that I don't want overheard."

"And what the hell would that-" Ritsuko's angry shout was cut off as the Magi replied, "Communications silence enabled for sixty seconds. Do hurry, Pilot."

"What is it you want to say to me, Shinji?" Maya asked softly.

"You see that little blip on the screen marked Angel?" He asked in turn, nodding his head at it.

"Yeah."

"Right now, you're in the weapon designed to fight it. And if I can't get this thing to work right with you in it, you'll never get the chance to lay Ritsuko."

Maya growled at that. "And your point...?" She ground out.

Shinji moved the Evangelion's left arm a little smoother to point at the target, as yet unseen beyond the mountains. "If that Angel survives, you'll never, ever see Ritsuko again. Or your parents. Or your friends. Or anyone for that manner. For right now,
that Angel is the one single thing keeping you from Akagi." He said, noticing Maya's hands balling into fists next to him.

She growled again, deeper, a more primal sound, and stated:
"It dies."

Shinji could feel the control interference drop away to nearly normal levels, and smirked to himself before grabbing the Progressive Katana off the launch platform. "So it does."

\-/'
"Do we have visuals on target?" Misato asked Hyuuga, who nodded in return.

"The ionic discharges the Magi detected around the Angel have continued unabated, causing interference with the long range scanners. The target is just coming into range of the grounded sensors... Now."

A large, floating purple phallus appeared on the Ubertron.
Three sets of eyes winced, and three eyebrows twitched in unison across the room. "The hell?" Misato voiced.

"I don't fucking believe this..." Ritsuko moaned.

"Shinji, It Dies." Was all Gendou said.

"What?" Shinji asked over the comm., then spotted the Angel as it rose over the mountain range before him. "Oh, this sooooo figures. Does this mean my life is a bad porno flick?"

"I'd say no, considering you're still a virgin." Maya ground out angrily, before she realized the comm. was still on. "Ah, shit.
Sorry Shinji."

Shinji just growled lower and deeper than Maya had, and any fears he had harbored about moving the Evangelion vanished as his disgust, anger and hate flowed into the Nerve Pulses.

\-/'
"Aww, man! They're doing it AGAIN!" Kensuuke bitched, almost tossing his precious camcorder to the ground.

Touji and Kensuuke were, along with the rest of their classmates on campus when the General Warning was issued, currently in an underground shelter designated for the defense of civilians during Angel attacks. Like now. He looked to his friend and asked "What're they doin'?"

"See for yourself," Kensuuke griped, thrusting the camcorder/TV unit towards the older boy, "Nothing but text messages,
even NHK. Damn, but they never show us civilians anything!"

"'At noon ta-day,'" Touji read off the screen aloud, "'...a state 'a emergency was declare-ed fer da Kanto district, Centerin'
'round da Tokai region. Stay tuned fer updates', huh? Youse right,
Ken -dat does suck. I wanted ta watch da game, though dat little Domo-kun figure hidin' under da desk is kinda cool."

"All you ever think about is basketball," Aida accused, then revised his statement, "Basketball and women."

"Yeah? So? Youse gots a problem wit dat? S' better dan getting off on dis military shit."

Kensuuke sighed. "Touji, you just don't understand. The power struggle! The fight for survival! The dominance over the foe!
The unrestricted use of full military might! The missiles! The bombs! The guns!"

Touji sighed as he realized Kensuuke had the same look in his eyes for this stuff that he himself reserved for girls. "Oh"
Kensuuke continued, "I've just got to see it with my own eyes!"

Touji rolled his. "Aw, man, not dis crap again. You go out dere, you'll be killed, yo. All dead like."

"I don't care. Let's sneak out the back and watch!"

"Hell no."

"Oh, c'mon! Your sister would do it!" Kensuuke prodded.

"Leave Natsume outta dis. Da answer's still No." Touji said,
crossing his arms in defiance of his friend's wishes.

Kensuuke thought for a moment, then smiled. He had a plan. A dastardly, dastardly plan. "Touji, either you help me sneak out or I'll tell Ayanami Kizuko you've got the hots for her."

Touji's gaze turned flat. His head lolled back almost casually as he brought his expressionless visage to bear on Kensuuke. "You would not dare."

Kensuuke almost gave it up at that point. Touji's grammar was only good when either something serious happened or he was ready to lay down the serious whoop-ass. But his desire to observe the battle above won out over his common sense. "I would, and you know it."

Touji lurched to his feet slowly, his every movement a protest, as that same detached, lackluster gaze stared down from above Kensuuke like an avalanche does the weary mountain hiker.
"Move, or I swear I'll kill you myself."

Kensuuke chuckled nervously, grabbed his camera bag, and started towards the exit at a brisk pace, Touji shadowing him every step of the way like a bad dream.

"I swear, Ken. If I die, I'm going to haunt you."

"Eh heh heh, heh heh..."

\-/'
They exited the shelter via the manual emergency exit on the side of the mountain, and climbed the steps of an old temple, the likes of which were rare in this day and age, to gain access to an overlook. Kensuuke swung his camera back and forth, but...

"Touji, I can't see anything! You?"

"Nah. Nothin' doin' Kensuuke." Indeed, the view was nice,
situated above Tokyo-3, and looking clear across the valley to the mountains on the other side. "Hey, wait... What's dat over dere, to da left a'dem big cell towers on da opposite side?"

"What? Where? I don't see any-" Kensuuke stopped as he zoomed in near max, making out the shape of Unit-00. "There it is!
Over there! ...but, it's not moving."

"Whaddaya mean it's not moving?" Touji asked, looking at Kensuuke like he was off his rocker. "Dey wouldn't jus' stick it out ta play statue, would dey?"

"I don't know, but..." Kensuuke zoomed in even further, and caught a glimpse of something small flying through the air towards the Evangelion. "The heck was that?"

"Was what?"

"I don't know, something small looked like it landed on the Eva, but I can't tell from this far away -my zoom's not good enough." Kensuuke explained.

"Yer zoom?"

"Yeah. It's only a hundred and fifty ex."

"I dunno what dat means, Ken."

Kensuuke flipped open the side screen and showed his friend the image. "It means that's as close as I can get in picture without getting closer to the action."

"Oh. Well, ferget dat. We ain't getting' any closer, you hear?"

"Sadly. Hey!" Kensuuke exclaimed as the Entry Plug was ejected, "I think that flying thing must've been some kind of one man transport for Shinji. Looks like he's getting into the Eva now."

"But, if da HQ fer Nerv is Unda-ground, and dat's where dey keep dem Eva things, den how come he's gotta get in top side?" Touji asked.

"Good question. Maybe he was somewhere else when they spotted the Angel?"

"S'good enough fer me. Why's it movin' so slow?"

"Hummn... maybe there's a problem with it?" Kensuuke asked rhetorically.

"Then why didn't dey use da other one, den? Everybody knows dey gots two of dem things!"

"Maybe it's even worse off than that one? Oh, wait, it's moving smoother now. Maybe the Evangelions just have a warm up period?"

"Like car engines or somethin'? Could be. Big pieces of machinery, dem giant robots."

"Yeah. That's probably what it was, looks fine now. Man,
that's a big sword."

"Well, dey got's ta kill big things, don't dey? Wouldn't make much sense if 'e were ta go charging inta a fight with a itty bitty knife or some-such." Touji crossed his arms and shook his head. "Dat'd be kinda dumb, really."

"I hear they do use knives, as a holdout weapon only -keep one housed in those big blades on the shoulders of the other Eva Unit." Kensuuke said, watching as the Evangelion readied itself.

"Yeah? Well, I guess if yer inna pinch, a tooth pick's better den nothin'. What's in da other holster?"

"Don't know. Whoa, here comes the Angel!" Kensuuke exclaimed.

"What! Lemme see, lemme see, lemm- Ewwww, dat damn thing looks like da monster on dad's favorite porno..."

"You're shitting me?" Kensuuke asked, looking from the screen to Touji, who was shaking his head.

"Nope. Big, pre-postor-us-ly per-portioned purple penis thing, floatin' 'round Tokyo-Three, havin' ten'acle sex widda bunch a young girls."

"Yeah? How'd they fight it?"

"Dey had da big purple an' green Eva hosin' it down wit milk."

"Milk? Why milk?"

"Dunno. Maybe it don' like cows? I think Shinji's gots da better idea, what wit dat katana an' all."

Kensuuke went back to watching the screen as the big purple phallus assumed a battle stance of its own, standing erect, lowering its head and extending...

"See! I told ya, Ten'acles!" Touji said, pointing at the Angel. "Man, dat's just plain wrong." Then, cupping his hands to his mouth, he shouted, "Kick its ass, Ikari!" as loud as he could.

"He can't hear you."

"Eh, it's da thought dat counts, Ken. It's da thought dat counts."

"Looks like it's trying to whip Shinji into submission.
That's..."

"Don' say it, Ken."

"That's..."

"I'm warnin' yas!"

"...Kinky. Oww!" The last was said as Touji stomped on his foot. "Sorry, I had to say it!"

Touji just grumbled darkly. "Still an' all, Shinji sure can make dat Eva move. Why hasn't 'e drawn 'is sword yet?"

"Maybe he's waiting for the opportune moment?"

"Uhh... What's 'Oop-er-tune' mean?"

"That he's waiting for the perfect time to attack."

"Oh. I knew dat. I jus' forgots it fer a minute. But, why's he dancin' wit it?"

"Well, I'd say since the Angel is using its, umn, tentacles as whips, he's got to get into range where he can attack without being hit."

"Why's 'e worried 'bout gettin' hit? 'E's in a giant robot!"

"You see how those tentacles are glowing?" Kensuuke asked.

"Yeah?"

"Watch what happens when they hit the ground around the Eva's feet."

"Whoa!" Touji exclaimed, "Explosions! Dis is like a bad porno AND an eighties Sentai show! Quick, where're all da nekkid chicks and Heroes in costume?"

"Touji, this is real life. Naked chicks don't just happen randomly. You have to put some effort into it."

"Oh yeah? Says who? I'll murderize 'em."

"You'll 'murderize' who?" came a third, feminine voice from behind them.

"Whoever says Nekkid chicks don' just happen, uh, randomly.
Yeah." Touji said, nodding to himself as he continued to watch Kensuuke's camcorder screen.

"And why would 'Nekkid chicks' randomly happen?" asked the female voice again.

"Because Touji's convinced we're in this weird cross-over between a bad porno and an eighties Sentai show." Kensuuke explained without paying attention. "Wow! Did you see that? Shinji just cut a tentacle off!"

"Tentacle?" asked the woman.

"Yeah, Ten'acle, see, the Angel's got these ten'acle things dat it's usin' as whips, and-" Touji turned around to face the person he was speaking too, and stopped. He tugged on Kensuuke's sleeve. "Ken."

"I'm a bit busy filming this, Touji -what is it?"

"I think you better turn around."

Noticing Touji's correct grammar, Kensuuke knew something was up. He turned, camera still plastered to his eye, and came face-
to-viewscreen with a breast. "Whoa!"

The woman rolled her eyes and shook her head as Kensuuke frantically zoomed out to get a good shot of her. "Boys, I swear..."

"Ken! Random nekkid chick!" Touji said, oogling the girl who was, by all definitions, a classic beauty in that 'Shinto Shrine Maiden' kind of way. "I'm in heaven!"

Kensuuke battled with himself between filming the girl, and the battle. Girl, or the battle. Finally, he decided on the battle.
"Damn it! Stupid! I have to get another camera!"

"Da hell're you doin' nekkid?" Touji demanded from the girl.

"Sun bathing. What the hell are you doing on my front lawn"
She asked him in turn as Kensuuke was heard crying softly.

"Uh, filmin' da bad porn-oh, I mean, filmin' da Angel attack. Yeah." He considered a moment, "I'm guessin' da shrine up dere is yours, den?"

"Yes. That is the Hino Shrine. Well, the new one, anyway.
Old one sunk when the ocean rose over Tokyo-One."

"And youse is?"

"Hino, Rei." She said.

"...wasn't dat da name of a character in dat eighties"
Touji's question trailed off as the woman nodded glumly.

"Yes," Rei said, grimacing, "My father had a bad sense of humor."

"And youse looks jus' like 'er, too!"

"Don't know whether it's a blessing or a curse, that."

"But... don't youse care dat youse nekkid in frontta us?"

She shrugged. "If that robot loses, I'll be a lot worse off than simply embarrassed."

"Shinji's not gonna lose! He's cooler den dat!" Touji stated.

"You sound pretty confident." She said, just as Kensuuke started gesticulating madly.

"Woah! Shinji just cut the Angel in half!" He exclaimed,
pointing.

Hino and Suzuhara both looked into the view screen, watching in mute witness as the Angel fell in two distinct pieces.

"Woo-hoo! Dat's mah main man! Go Shinji! Quick, Ken! Hit the rewind!"

\-/' Neon Genesis Evangelion: Honor's Duty " Stanza Seven: Ikari's Good Mood END