It was difficult enough to follow her own advice; Elizabeth tossed and turned, planning and considering and simply worrying, the moment when Darcy had looked up at her and said her name imprinted on her mind. Any doubts she had ever harboured, even if only for a bare fraction of a moment, were disregarded; she knew him, better than any -- except, perhaps, the Gardiners -- and she knew that he needed her, at least now. Once this was over, doubtless he would be his old self again; but, she could not help but ask herself, would it ever be over? Georgiana seemed to think this was nothing more than a temporary aberration -- or at least she wanted to think so -- but Darcy's weary comment belied that. Stephen had never been well; quite probably he never would be. She wondered what he was like -- she had seen him, had nearly wept for him -- for a child with every worldly happiness, whose mind could be so overburdened -- yet she knew nothing of him, beyond his intense attachment to Pemberley and Darcy. Did he even separate the two? Did Darcy?
After a few fitful hours of sleep -- at least, it felt like hours -- she arose, dressed, and wandered around with apparent aimlessness. It was not very long before Darcy, apart from his pallor looking more like his usual self than the man she had seen last night, appeared, just around the corner. Elizabeth gathered her courage.
"Mr Darcy," she said forthrightly, "there is something I must speak to you about."
He gave her a look of mingled anticipation and dread, and after a moment of hesitation, escorted her into the library, where they would be afforded privacy. Elizabeth played a little with her skirt, trying to think of the proper way to frame the question. "I happened across your sister very early this morning -- she saw me coming out of your -- Stephen's room."
Darcy sighed, but did not seem unduly disturbed. "I daresay I can come up with some sort of explanation, Miss Bennet."
So it is "Miss Bennet" again? "That should not be necessary," she said bravely; "I already have; or rather, Lady Westhampton did, but I -- encouraged her, in thinking it."
His eyebrows rose. "I do not quite understand . . ."
Elizabeth raised her chin, and clasped her hands behind her back, feeling absurdly like a young girl being called to account for some misbehaviour. "She asked if -- well, she meant, I am quite certain, to ask if we were -- engaged."
Darcy stared. "You said that we were?"
"Yes, although I -- what she actually said, was -- she asked if you had made me a proposal of marriage." Darcy winced, but Elizabeth laughed outright at his stunned look. "Do not fear, if the idea is that unpleasant to you, I shall not hold you to it, once -- all this -- is past."
"But for now, you shall take care of me, whether I wish it or not?"
"Yes, sir."
He gave her a look expressive of his wonder, and briefly glanced down, his pale cheeks flushed. "Unpleasant," he repeated, then, inhaling deeply, took one step closer, and reached out one hand to her. It was steady this morning, and on the surface he seemed his usual self. She allowed her fingers to curl against his in mute encouragement, luxuriating in the sensation of touching his flesh, without any inhibiting gloves in the way, her hand, encased in the coolness of his, no longer so burningly hot, but simply exuding an agreeable warmth.
When he spoke, it was in a quiet, caressing tone she had never heard from him before, or indeed from any man, but which could not have left any woman unaffected, let alone one so positively disposed towards him as herself. "As far as I am concerned, nothing could be less unpleasant. My dear Elizabeth," he said, his green eyes intent on her face, "you know -- you must know -- " He looked away, breathing quickly, and Elizabeth tightened her grasp on his hands. "You must know, Elizabeth, how greatly I esteem you." At her astonished look, he hastened to say, "I am inarticulate -- as usual -- but please, allow me to express my -- " he stopped, slowed, caught his breath, and began anew: "Elizabeth, my love, in four months, it will be seven years since I last asked you to marry me, and I hope you realise that my affections and wishes are unchanged. One word from you will silence me on this subject forever, but . . . " He swallowed.
"Oh!" Elizabeth exclaimed, blushing fiercely, and far too embarrassed to look him in the eye. It was only then that she realised she had just received a proposal of marriage, hopefully the last, and longed to see how he looked, as she replied, awkwardly, "Please, sir, I would rather not -- that is -- I -- you are -- Mr Darcy, this would be a very poor time to be silent."
She glanced up in time to his apprehensive, tired expression transform into one of heartfelt delight, and despite everything -- the predatory Crawford siblings, Georgiana and Lydia, poor Stephen, his own distress constantly bubbling somewhere no longer far from the surface, her fears and anxieties that someday she would speak to him of -- nothing could keep her from returning it tenfold as he said what he had never dared to before, what he had concealed even from himself, and supposed he never would say -- how incalculably precious she was to him, how beautiful he found her, how desolate he had been without her, how much he loved her -- how, even when married to another woman, a woman he was fond of, and who society called a good match for him, he had been unable to stop thinking of her, dreaming of her, wishing only to be with her --
She finally relaxed her grip on his hand, instead opting to lay her cheek against his shoulder, lifting her arms to hold on to him. For Elizabeth, and she was quite certain for Darcy also, it was a moment of exquisite bliss, as she felt one hand against her back, the other tenderly stroking her hair, his heart racing beneath her.
---
Lukia: Yes, I understand, and you are welcome. Yes, she does. Georgiana obviously meant, "are you engaged to my brother?" -- but what she said was, "Has my brother proposed to you?" (They are synonomous in her mind.) Elizabeth is referring to the proposal at Rosings, over six and a half years prior, when she says, "Yes, he has" -- he has proposed to her. She is deliberately deceiving Georgiana. Thank you.
elen: You and everyone else, it seems. Yes, the reference was to Hunsford. She is being truthful in saying that he has proposed to her. Elizabeth did not have to answer so truthfully; she chose to. She wanted Georgiana to think that she and Darcy were engaged, because that way she can have easy access to him.
mel88: Thank you. She is telling the truth, that Darcy has proposed to her; she is being dishonest in intimating that they are engaged. And all in three economical words! You're welcome.
boogabooga: Thank you, and probably not, in this story. Actually, there are bits and pieces of all the novels in my stories.