Sorry to keep re-posting this, but doesn't save the changes I make to it. If this doesn't work, then my apologies.
I just wanted to write a one-parter. It's a Lit. I dedicate it to my mom, who will be undergoing a lumpectomy this week, and to everyone out there who has had to deal with breast cancer. Also, I dedicate this to my great-grandmother, who passed away from breast cancer even before I was born.
Title: Take Care
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The title and idea of this story comes from the song "God Bless the Child" by Michelle Featherstone. AS-P owns Gilmore Girls. "Skin" belongs to Rascall Flatts.
She'd never been one to cower away. She'd never been one to back down from challenges. In her life, she'd always met everything head on. But this, this was something she couldn't do.
Breast cancer. The two words combined gave her a sense of fear and hurt. The latter word alone made her shiver. It made her want to cry.
She was to begin Yale in the autumn, though. She couldn't let herself get too emotional.
So she didn't cry. She didn't cry when her mother began chemotherapy. She didn't cry when her mother lost all of her hair. She didn't cry when her mother underwent a lumpectomy. She didn't cry when the doctors told her mother that the cancer had come back.
She didn't cry at her mother's wedding to Luke. Not as her mother slowly made her way down the aisle to "Skin" or when her mother began crying during the exchange of the vows. She didn't cry when she saw that Luke had shaved his head.
She didn't even cry at her mother's funeral. Not when Luke tried to pull her close so she could let it all out. She just didn't.
She didn't cry.
She went back to Yale, where Paris watched her like a hawk. Where Finn encouraged her to get sloshed. Where Logan asked her every five minutes if she was okay. She escaped into her studies.
She didn't go back to Stars Hollow unless she absolutely had to. Like when Lane and Zack got married. Or when Luke wanted her to come back on the one year anniversary of her mother's death.
She couldn't stand being there. She couldn't stand being alive when her mother was dead. She didn't want to face the reality that her mother wouldn't be there to wake her up with obnoxious phone calls. Or reprimand her for not acting slutty.
She didn't want to see that her relationship with Logan was going nowhere fast. She lost herself in him when they finally graduated. It ended when she went back to Stars Hollow on the five year anniversary of her mother's death.
When everything fell into place for her.
That's when she cried. When she realized that her mother's grave had no flowers on it. When her father married Sherry, and didn't invite her to his wedding.
When Luke told her he'd made a decision not to remarry. When Paris and Doyle married. When Lane and Zack had their first child – a daughter named Lorelai Victoria.
She allowed herself to cry when she felt the urge. She moved back to Stars Hollow and back into the Crap Shack when she was twenty-two.
She lived her life as normally as possible. She worked at the Hartford Gazette, and found herself as editor by the time she was twenty-five.
She didn't get involved with anyone. She knew she had too much baggage. Too much baggage for herself, much less another person.
She saw Dean often. He'd come to visit her when she moved back to Stars Hollow. He and Lindsey had just had twins. She'd congratulated him, and he'd offered to be an ear if she needed one. She'd kept him in mind. They'd spent a lot of time talking. So had she and Lindsey.
Lane and Zack had asked her to be Lorelai's god-mother. She'd readily accepted. She wanted to be there as much as possible for the little girl's life.
Paris called her all the time. She and Doyle had, irony of ironies, become missionaries, and were in Australia for the month.
She walked around Stars Hollow mostly at night. With Luke. They'd somehow forged a bond that was much like the one she and her mother had. But they both knew that no one would ever be able to reach Rory like Lorelai.
He'd offered many times to set up the apartment for her to live in. She politely declined. She heard he'd found a new tenant, though. One Jess Mariano.
Her heart skipped a beat when she heard Jess was back in town. She hadn't seen him since he'd left when she was eighteen. She was surprised that he was back in the one place he vowed to never return to.
She was dressed up this night. She'd attended dinner at her grandparent's house. She had still kept up the Friday night dinners no matter what. Even in the Friday's following her mother's death, she'd kept going. And they had let her do as she pleased. Deep down, she believed that they knew it was better for them to not interfere.
She and Luke made their usual rounds about the town. It was the Winter Carnival, and snow covered the ground. She'd gone to her mother's grave when it had begun snowing at three that morning. She could have sworn she heard her mother's laugh as she laid the daffodils on her mother's grave.
She made her way to the bridge when she and Luke were done. It was there she saw a lone figure. Smoking a cigarette. Legs dangling off the bridge. He seemed pensive.
She stopped in her tracks, weighing her options. Did she really want this, now? Did she want to get involved with this man again? Was he any more reliable now than he was then?
That's when she heard her mother's voice.
Don't think of the consequences right now. Taste life, and savor it.
She began walking to him. He looked up and smirked when he saw her.
"Hey."
She was silent. She felt tall, standing by him. She sat down and studied him.
His looks hadn't changed in seven years. Neither had his taste in clothing. He donned a leather jacket and black pants with a Metallica t-shirt.
She took a deep breath. "Hi."
"I'm sorry," he said. "About your mom."
She swallowed the lump that had begun rising in her throat. "Thanks."
He took a drag off his cigarette and tossed it in the lake. He turned and looked at her. She was amazed at how he still took her breath away with one look. She was even more surprised that his condolence sounded more genuine than the thousands of others she'd received.
"I was going to come out here," he said. "But, I was stuck in Spain."
She looked at him. "Spain?"
"I own a restaurant slash bookstore there," he responded. "In Barcelona."
She smiled. "I'm proud of you."
He looked at her. "Really?"
She nodded. "Really."
"So," he began. "What have you been up to?"
She shrugged. "Editor of the Hartford Gazette. Dated Logan Huntzberger. Paris became a missionary –"
"No shit?" he asked.
She laughed. "Yeah. I thought it was a bit strange, too. But Paris –"
"No," he interrupted. "You dated a richie?"
She shrugged. "He was there. You weren't."
"You waited for me?" he asked.
She looked away from him. She didn't want to have a moment of true confessions right now. Not while it had begun snowing again and she was wearing a dress. Not when he was looking at her like she was the only person in the world. Not when he looked perfect sitting there.
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I tried."
He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket. She took it from him.
"Please. Don't."
He nodded. "Okay."
He stood and offered her a hand. She took it, and didn't release his hand as they made their way off of the bridge. They walked in an uncomfortable silence.
"I heard Lane and Zack had a baby," he stated.
"Yeah," she responded. "They named her Lorelai. I'm the god-mother."
He smiled at her. "I'm sure you're a great one."
She stopped walking and truly looked at him for what seemed like the first time in forever. He smirked at her. She blushed.
"Look, Jess," she said. "I didn't come to the bridge just to find out if you still loved me, or liked me."
"Then why did you?"
His eyes were burning into her. She sighed.
"Because I missed you. And I hadn't seen you since I was eighteen."
He shrugged. "So if I were to kiss you right now you'd probably run away. Again."
She blushed again. It even amazed her that he remembered their first kiss. She sighed.
"I can't say for sure."
He stepped closer to her. She froze. She strained to try and hear her mother's voice in some way. And she did.
Just go with it Rory. You can't run forever.
She closed the gap between them. His fingers found her hair, and instantly became in it. She gripped the pockets of his jacket, bringing him closer to her.
And that's what Luke saw when he looked out his window. He smiled to himself. He knew it would happen eventually.
Rory swore she heard her mother's voice as she and Jess climbed into bed that night. And she smiled a true smile for what seemed like the first time in ages at the words she heard.
I told you good things happened when it snows.