Author's Note - Well, I'm officially back and chapter 7 is finally here! Enjoy!

Mark Sloan loved the audience. He really loved it. Why wouldn't he? When someone is so good at the job he's doing… of course he would love to show that to people as well. So the full gallery above his OR was just one more incentive, one more reason to show his best, and one more surrounding fact that gave him encouragement. All eyes were on him. All those people up there were admiring him... they were watching, observing, scanning his every move, every left and right motion of his hands, of his fingers. They were watching the way he calmly and confidently handled every unexpected bleeding and the way he always knew very well how to react to anything that could happen.

One very odd, but still a thing that Mark was absolutely proud of… was that he never felt nervous during his surgeries. Not in the way that shows. Not even at the beginning of his career, when he was just an inexperienced resident, and definitely not now, as an attending and head of his department. That was also probably one of the reasons he liked the audience so much. He never feared of it. He never let anything take over him during his surgeries. Not adrenaline, not excitement, not nervousness, nothing. There was fear of disappointment, of course, but not strong enough to hamper him. He had no room for disappointment.

The gallery above his OR during carotid tumor resection he was performing at the moment was totally cramped. Of course it was. This wasn't just some random, boring, a hundred times already seen surgery. Mark knew that, and everyone else knew that. It was rare, difficult, risky surgery, and there weren't more than ten people in whole America that could pull it off.

It was one of those surgeries that actually showed how phenomenal surgeon he really was. Surgeries like this were where he had the best chance to impress everyone around him, to show how capable he was, to prove that plastic surgeries were more than simple face lifts and boob jobs.

It was one of those surgeries that always created a huge after-wave.

And of course, there was nothing that could compare with that glorious sense of accomplishment and glory and importance he would feel every time he managed to prove himself...

Mark glanced up a couple of times just to have a mental picture in his head who exactly was up there. Not that it mattered, but... Maybe it mattered a bit, just a little bit, even though he would never say that out loud. An enormous wish that one certain intern that hasn't left his head, day or night, for a while now would be there watching him is definitely something he wouldn't say out loud.

He saw a bunch of interns. Shocker... Not exactly the audience he hoped he would get, but still… it was understandable that most of them were up there, at least pretending to pay attention. But apparently not all of them.

He noticed a couple of residents and a few attendings as well. And even the chief was there. And everyone's eyes were on him. Watching him. Admiring him.

He glanced up and scanned the gallery again. All the same people. Same bunch of interns. This time, his glance stayed up there longer than he originally intended to. But he had to make sure. Slightly shaking his head, he looked away again.

No, she definitely wasn't up there.

Mark inhaled deeply, in order to not let anything, not even that, disturb him. Not audience, not that one person that he lacked in his audience. He had to stay focused.

All of a sudden, multiple beep sounds started echoing through the operating room, and he could sense people in the gallery gasping, holding their breaths, some of them standing up to look closer what was happening, and how he was about to stop it...

He quickly reacted, just as a good surgeon should. And the sound stopped, but not for long.

When the beeping sound of the machines started again, it hasn't stopped until Mark didn't declared death of his patient.

…

The thrill, the adrenaline, all of that was knocked out of him, and his stomach has been horribly churning ever since he left the OR. And the worst part of it was how everyone got quiet afterwards. There was nothing but silence. That was reasonable when he called the time of death. The silence always followed that. But all the non-existing words he got afterwards were unbearable. It was like he could taste everyone's disappointment on his tongue, like he could literally feel it washing over his body like a cold wave.

But he kept it to himself. He never felt like he should bother talking to anyone when something like this happened. There was no point in that. It wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't bring a lost patient back to life. Mark actually firmly believed that all of those sentences like Hey, I'm sorry about your patient, or Hey, you did everything you could... were just words of politeness. Not actual compassion.

That's why he'd spent the last fifteen minutes in his office, hunched on the sofa, with his hands pulling at the roots of his hair. His knuckles were white, the vein on his neck was visibly pulsating, and his eyes were closed, or more likely tightly shut, as he tried to steady his accelerated breathing. He felt like he was about to lose his mind. Like every small piece of rationality he had left, flew out of the window into the cold New York evening.

The room was half-dimmed, the turned on lamp on his desk being the only source of light. Mark felt hot, he felt bitter resentful anger flaring up within him, before a whole slew of emotions, all negative, all mixed in like an unstoppable hurricane.

He was free to go home hours ago. But something kept him there. Maybe it was waiting for the guilt to wash off, or waiting for a hospital staff to get quieter. To forget what happened, to stop talking about it… Mark hated when he let things like this bother him. Most of the time, he simply didn't. Things like this happen… he would say. To others and to himself. What's done it's done. You can't change it. But something about this he couldn't just ignore. Just forget. And he didn't know how to fix that. He didn't want a drink, he didn't want a cigarette, he didn't want to talk. He didn't want to screw a random nurse in an on-call room or the first chick he encounters once he leaves the hospital. He didn't want to sleep this off. The closest thing he felt like actually doing was throwing up, but even that passed once he turned around and walked away after breaking the news to his patients' family.

It wasn't his first lost patient... far from that. He had his fair share. But it was a firm, honest reminder of the truth that Mark hated more than anything... it never gets easier.

His blood was still boiling cause of his apparently failed attempt to save someone's life and when he heard a familiar voice and three soft words, it felt like the humiliation hit him right in the face.

"Are you okay?"

Mark's head snapped up at the sound, and he grunted without responding.

With her figure between the door frame, Lexie Grey stood right in front of him. Dressed in light blue scrubs, with an apologetic, concerned look on her face, she stared at him without blinking, her eyes demanding some kind of answer. Her step forward he took as a try of a different approach, so he muttered in a flat voice, hoping she would stop there. "I'm fine."

It was a weak answer, and it was clear she didn't buy it.

"I'm so sorry about your surgery. I heard..." she shifted, almost uncomfortably. It wasn't a secret that rumors were spreading fast. Even though it wasn't anybody's business. And Dr. Sloan... Dr. Sloan was definitely not the most approachable person. That wasn't a secret either. But he deserved from her to at least ask if he's okay. Especially considering how a few kind words of his made her feel better more than once.

Mark rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, gathering all of his inner strength to keep his voice calm, "I don't really have much out of your or anybody's compassion statements." His voice wasn't only bluntly calm, but firm and cold as well. He didn't want to think about how during surgery he would give anything to have her there watching him, but now he just wanted her to leave him alone. He wished she hadn't said she's sorry. He already felt shitty enough, and her concern expressing was just making it worse. It was like telling him right in the face he messed up.

"Okay..." Lexie breathed out, determined to not let the harshness of his voice bother her. She wanted to be there... she wanted to be there for him, without letting him say anything that could change her mind. "I know. And I know that this must be really hard for you, and that's why I..."

"What?" he didn't mean to snap, but he just couldn't help it. The words tumbled out before he even realized he'd decided to say them. His eyes immediately widened in anger, knowing that he should be angry, knowing that he would be angry if there was anyone else in front of him. But since it was her, he closed his eyes just a second after, shaking his head in disbelief. "God... I don't understand you, Lexie." He took a heavy sigh and stood up, judging her with accusing eyes. "What? What are you trying to do? What the hell are you trying to get by doing this?"

Lexie swallowed when she heard her name passing through his lips. It wasn't Grey or Dr. Grey or Little Grey. It was just Lexie. And it was the first time she heard him saying it. But watching him standing there as his steel blue eyes bored right into her, trying to grasp some kind of answer, some kind of revelation from her, it made her realize... maybe he really couldn't understand.

Lexie always saw Mark Sloan as one of those people. People who kept their emotions at bay for the most part, always guarded up. People who pretended they barely had any emotions. People who played too cocky for their own sake. And she never exactly judged that. Although she had her own thoughts and feelings about it. She found it quite weird, knowing that she could never make herself seem so cold and emotionless like that. For that same reason, she felt even a little bit envious towards that as well. But in situations like this... situations like this were when people like Mark Sloan show their weakest links. She was aware of that too.

"I'm not trying to get anything." Lexie softly replied after a short pause, but seeing an unacceptance in his eyes she continued right away, "I don't. I just... I don't know, I just overheard some doctors talking what happened and I... I just wanted to make sure you're okay. That's it. Really." She knew it wasn't nearly enough to offset what was bothering him, but it was what she could conjure.

Mark let out a scoff, as if he thought she was joking, "No, it's not. That's not it!"

For some reason, and even as a surprise to herself, Lexie didn't back off at his snappy words, but instead she gave herself a permission to snap as well, "Yes, it is!" And she expected for him to snap again right back at her, to make her regret for a whole lifetime ever being brave enough to try to encounter him like this.

But even expecting that, she found herself being drawn to the way his jaw clenched in resentment. The way he folded his arms defensively over his chest. The way the muscles in his neck were strained, and the way his cheeks were slightly flushed as he continued, his tone raw and strict, "Look, things like this happen. It's crap, I know... But it's how it is. And you cannot fix it... you cannot mend it with a few nice words, or with a kind compliment, no matter how much you may want to. That's not how it works."

A long, quiet pause kicked in when he managed to silent himself. On a tip of his tongue were words of apologies, some softer, more gentle words, words that would be more appropriate to be said to someone like her, but it was like the wire between his brain and his vocal cords suddenly got cut off. What the hell was it about her that dragged his emotions to the surface? The feelings that he'd been pushing down ever since he could remember just kept bubbling upward in front of her.

"Why is it..." Lexie started but then stopped immediately, as if she tried to find the right words to express what she wanted to say. As if the right words even existed. The right words that would create just a small valve to release this pressure that has always simmered around him. Biting her lower lip, she cleared her throat and continued, "Why is it so hard and difficult for you to just accept a few nice words? Of course that's not gonna change what happened, but... I don't know. If it was me, a few nice words would make me feel better, at least. In that matter, your nice words made me feel better more than once. And you..." she stopped again, noticing how he tilted down his head in frustration.

She took a deep breath and shook her head, partly cause she knew she was probably about to say something she would regret later, partly in simple confusion. "I mean, it's literally like you don't want people to be kind to you... and because of what? It'll hurt your ego? You won't look so superior and threatening anymore? That's... that's insane. I mean it. Even for you. But if that's how you wanna deal with this... okay." Lexie pressed her lips together, trying not to overthink everything she just said. It's too late anyway.

In between her words, Mark lifted his head and look at her again, stunned, as the gravity of what she'd said sank in. He couldn't quite figure out what it was on her face. It was lighter than anger, and it wasn't annoyance either. It wasn't frustration, it wasn't pity, it wasn't disappointment. He recalled her last few expresses, wrinkling his nose as if he smelled something pungent. You don't want people to be kind to you… Kindness. The concept of that word was almost foreign to him at this point. And there was no way that it was kindness what made her cheeks so burning red, what made her stance so determined.

When her final rant of words left her mouth it was loud and thundering, "And again, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Dr. Sloan, because I obviously crossed the line by being kind towards you." Mark wasn't sure if he stopped registering what she was saying on purpose or because his body was on a verge of exploding, his lungs suddenly lacking for air, his skin burning, his heart was hammering in his chest. But Lexie kept on going, almost breathless, "...and not because I'm trying to get something from you as my attending, but because I'm a generally kind person, and I'm not going to pretend I'm not just because you don't feel like listening what I have to say..."

All of those words died on her lips, lost and forgotten in time and space, and Lexie managed to take a quick gasp before Mark suddenly crossed the space between them, slid his hands up her cheeks and kissed her, his mouth covering hers completely.

Her eyes fell shut immediately, as if she was in trance, and the only thing she could hold onto was the way his lips moved against hers, kissing her thoroughly. She wanted to say that his action shocked her, cause it did, but she found herself lost in an overwhelming and intoxicating sensation, and the truth was, she couldn't bring herself to think about anything else except him. She became so aware of the sudden idea, of the sudden fact, completely filled with the truth of it… he wanted her.

His head was spinning. His heart was racing. And the worst part was that he couldn't remember the last time that happened as he kissed a woman. And the way he kissed her... he kissed her as if he was about to lose his mind, as if she was his grasp for sanity. Maybe she was. Maybe after this terrible day, after those long and hard few hours he spent by himself in his office, this was exactly what he wanted... what he needed to keep him sane.

The softness and warmth and sweetness of her lips, the flower-ish scent of her hair, the slow caresses of her hands, the gentle whimpers of her body, all the things that were, along with the kindness and grace of her heart, completely unfamiliar to him. But that didn't pull him away. In fact, it drew him closed.

Each shared breath strengthened the mental link that had first fully tethered between them the moment he touched her, the moment his lips captured hers, not wanting to let go. Then the sudden revelation dawned on him, making him smile against her lips. All of his thoughts, all of his dreams and longings… were not unwanted. She wanted him.

When he felt her hands sliding up over his chest and grabbing at his broad shoulder over the silky material of his navy blue scrubs, and then encircling around his neck, Mark groaned and opened his mouth, prompting her to do the same. He heard her moan in response to his tongue swirling around hers, as his beard scratched the delicate skin of her face, and his palms were on her cheeks, tightly framing her face and keeping her still in the place.

Slowly and breathlessly, Mark extracted his lips from hers, opening his eyes to find hers still closed. He smiled as his thumbs gently stroked over her flushed cheeks, feeling how hot her skin was underneath his fingers.

"Maybe I haven't quite thought about it." Mark whispered, so quiet it was almost inaudible, as he pulled one of her strands behind her ear. He wasn't sure if that was more of a confession to her or to himself, suddenly remembering everything she told him within the last few minutes. When Lexie finally opened her eyes, her intense stare had immediately entrapped him, setting a fire within every nerve in his body. He noticed her eyebrows narrowing slightly, as if she fell into a deep though, and just a moment before he wanted to ask what she was thinking, she spoke, her tone on a verge of shaking, "About what?"

"I'll tell you some other time." he smirked, as one of his hands left her face to grip her hip. Unaware was it accidentally or not, his gaze fell from her face down, and he almost gasped at the sight of her cleavage, his eyes trailing over her pale, smooth skin as far as her scrub top let him.

But all of a sudden, Mark sensed an unwanted uncertainty within her, and determined to cut its roots immediately he just smiled, his hand on her face drifting from her cheek to her jaw, lifting her head up to look at him again. "It's not about this. I'm sure about this."

Without even letting her reply, he leaned down and firmly fused his lips to hers again, reassuring her that in what was happening right now, he was completely sure. Unlike everything else in his life.

His hand rounded her waist, causing her to arch into him, as the other cupped her chin, and his kisses were relentless, barely giving her any chance to breathe. But she didn't mind it, he figured in delight. She didn't protest. Far from that. She even seemed bolder than she was moments before, in the way her fingers slowly tunneled through his hair, in the way her lips moved frantically in a rhythm with his.

When she nibbled at his lower lip, Mark groaned and opened his eyes, but not completely, just enough to sneak a peek of her, making himself hundred percent sure this wasn't just a product of his vivid imagination. Of course, the first thing he saw was the bright redness of her cheeks. God, why he was so drawn to that?

Not being able to resist commenting, he mumbled against her lips, "Your cheeks are sooo flushed, I'm not sure if it's normal."

Lexie muffed out a small laugh, without words pulling away from him.

"Hey, I thought you had passed eyes rolling at me." Mark kept smirking, and when she playfully smacked him in the chest, he only let out a soft chuckle.

"I thought you had passed mocking me for your own amusement." she retorted, mimicking his tone.

"I didn't say I don't like when you blush." His voice was suddenly so hoarse, and it made her breath get stuck in her throat. "In fact, that blush does things to me." he admitted, but it was clear he didn't feel even a bit ashamed because of it. In fact, he was telling her that with a purpose. With a goal. And noticing how she shivered, how she parted her trembling lips to say something, how she swallowed, not being able to tear off her eyes off of him, Mark knew he had succeeded.

"Things that require hiding in dark rooms like this?" she asked shortly after, suggestively, with a raised eyebrow.

"Scared?"

"No." she answered without hesitation in a bold tone, looking right into his eyes bravely, even though her insides were shaking and stirring. She wasn't entirely sure how she was still standing straight, since her legs were practically quivering. "Maybe just a bit…" she stopped and bit her lip. Hard. So hard, she almost drew blood. "...intimidated."

Something about the fact that she didn't deny it, even though it was so obvious to him to figure it out himself, made him lick his lips and tilt his head down to rest their foreheads together. "Yeah?" His warm breath ghosted over the skin of her face, and he grinned, silently taking pride in her words. He really liked the sound of that. He liked the way she said... softly and honestly, but with a hint of awe too. "Would you be even more intimidated if I tell you I'll wait for your shift to end, and then insist on giving you a ride home?"

"Yeah, probably." Lexie nodded before even thinking about his preposition. "But I would say yes anyway."

…

Leaned against his black SUV, Mark tried not to think about his current action as waiting. Like spending your free time and doing absolutely nothing, hoping that a certain person will soon peer from around the corner waiting. But there was no escape. That was exactly what he was doing. He waited for her.

Somehow, as fast as he could, he managed to get out of the hospital. One step after another, he reached the main entrance, not turning around at the whispers of his name. He had enough of that. And he also had more important things on his mind.

And now… he was waiting.

In the back of his mind, he remembered he waited for Addison once. For almost two long hours, over several drinks, he waited and hoped and expected from her to come. Long story short, those two hours ended up being two wasted hours of his life.

So it was more than reasonable that he sighed with relief when he saw Lexie Grey walking towards him, with a shy smile on her face, and Mark wondered where all of her thoughts had been wandering for the last couple of hours since he let her leave his office. Hopefully, all the same places as his. But who could blame him? For a quite some time, all it took was one look at her hair, just one look at her brown locks, and all he could envision doing was gripping those perfect locks and tugging on them as he kissed her. One eye contact, accidental or not, and the blood in his body was immediately running south. One glimpse of her before leaving the hospital, and he would dream of her that night.

He shook his head and straight himself up, not taking his eyes off of her, as she slowly approached him, stopping a few feet in front of him. Mark cocked an eyebrow at her, a little part of him suddenly worried she was going to change her mind about getting any closer to him again. That wouldn't be exactly an irrational decision. And that was the main reason he was worried.

But she didn't seem like that was on her mind. To the contrary, she was also scared of rejection, as much as he was.

Breaking the silence, Mark exclaimed cautiously, "I have a little question for you."

"A little question?" Lexie let out a scoff, taking a step forward.

"Nothing too difficult, I promise. Putting personal stuff aside, is there a reason you wanted to move to New York City in particular?"

"I... never really thought about it. But no, I guess not." she answered honestly, part of her realizing how harrowing that sounded. She never felt any sort of affection towards New York. Nothing like Oh my God, I love New York, I should totally move there. No, she just wanted to be somewhere other than Seattle and Boston. "I supposed to stay in Boston after graduation. But… the personal stuff you had just mentioned happened so…"

"That's a shame... I love New York."

"And I want to love it too." She took another step closer. "So... you wanna take me to some place I would love?"

Instinctively, Lexie lifted her hand and rested on his chest, without giving it a second thought, and Mark curved the corner of his lips as he spoke, "Maybe I should make a list."

She was so close to him, she could feel his warmth. "I'll take the first one you come up with."

My place. "You're sure you want that?"

For a thousandth time that day, Lexie asked herself... What the hell are you doing? Are you aware of what you're getting yourself into? A persistent inside voice has been haunting her since the second she found herself in front of his office door. It's a lion's den... she heard the voice from the back of her mind. Even though the lion inside was hurt and busy licking his wounds, he was still a lion. A big, strong lion with sharp teeth, perfectly capable to tear off his prey in pieces.

She heard it again the moment Mark kissed her. You're not afraid of him eating you alive? That's what he does, and you know it. Then again, when she kissed him back. You're literally offering yourself to him completely.

And now, again, listing a hundred of reasons to make back off. But she didn't even blink at them as she whispered to him I trust you… and then after giving him a firm kiss, opened the passenger seat door of his car. New York hasn't felt so warm and tender ever since she got there. She didn't want to let that go. No matter if the reason for that was the realization of her being trapped between the lion's claws.

Lexie felt an immediate change of temperature from chilly to warm as she sat in the passenger seat. The car was filled with the scent of his cologne, and she closed her eyes for a moment and got herself comfortable against the seat, inhaling deeply. Fresh and manly, something about it made her feel excited.

Regardless of the heat, she felt goosebumps raising over her skin. Or perhaps it was just his presence. Because he definitely tended to have that effect on her. But anyway, she found herself smiling at the calmness of the moment, at the unfamiliar, strange happiness that came from being with him. Or it wasn't so unfamiliar after all.

"What did you say to him?" Mark suddenly asked, gazing towards her for a second. "To Derek. About me? You know, I tried to talk to him for months, and he… he just ignored me. And I even flew to Seattle because of him. Twice."

"Nothing special really." she faintly smiled.

The radio was on, a slow tune humming through the car. Lexie narrowed her eyebrows for a second, trying to recognize the song. Male voice, piano instrumental… yeah, it was definitely familiar.

"So you're not gonna tell me?" Mark's voice broke her concentration, and the words of the song she just memorized flew out of her head in mere second.

"It wasn't a big deal." she assured him, on what he immediately responded, "It wasn't your place, though." He turned his head and gave her a small smile of honest appreciation.

She stared at him, as he drove through the city, his eyes fixed back on the road, his hands tightly gripping the wheel. She guessed he knew she was looking at him, considering the constant smirk on his face. Of course he knew. He was Mark Sloan. And he was driving her to the unknown location. And she let him.

"It was just a… a comment, it wasn't a big deal."

"You already said that." he grinned and shortly afterwards added mischievously, "And you're blushing again."

It felt like they were snapping and yelling at each other years ago, not earlier that evening. It felt like she indeed made him feel better. In the way other people apparently couldn't.

When it turned red at the semaphore in front of them and the car stopped, Lexie immediately turned her attention to the window and to the lights of the city, just as if she sensed that the moment Mark's focus abandoned the road, it fell on her.

His gaze fell on her, just as his hand fell on her thigh, and she nearly gasped just from that. He gave it a gentle squeeze and her hands, her lips, her skin… every part of her was tingling. For him, for his touch, for his lips… for anything that would make her stop hoping they headed anywhere except to his apartment.

I honestly really enjoyed writing this one, and I hoped you loved it as well. Feel free to let me know!

I really tried to explain their "misunderstandings" as Mark's rejection to talk about stuff and Lexie's disbelief about it… Then also, the beginning of Lexie's feeling of belonging in New York... And at the end, if you're wondering, yes… the next chapter is going to be smutty… For real this time. I'll try to post it as soon as I can, as well as the next one of Baby Blue Love…