Chapter 16: In This Silence I Believe
During the day, the Emperor was a different man. He was driven, pursuing an enemy he needed to catch. Waking everybody up before dawn, they were riding at full speed towards Luxing Fort by the time the sun was up. Katara shivered, clenching her black cloak closer around her. He was insane. They were going to get to Luxing early, at the rate they were traveling.
It was very strange. At night, Emperor Zuko seemed almost calm; a different person. But under the sun, he changed, barely acknowledging her except to order her around as he did everybody else.
But when they stopped to eat at noon, Ensei said, "I'm thinking we better slow down soon, Zuko. The horses can't take much more."
"Speed is a necessity, Ensei—"
"I know," Lt. Ensei cut him off. Katara averted her eyes. She hoped it wouldn't get ugly. "But how fast will we be able to go if one of the horses breaks a leg?"
After a few more grumbles and exchanged comments, the Emperor finally relented and they rode at a walk.
"We'll still get there before nightfall," Lt. Ensei reassured everyone.
"Good," Emperor Zuko snapped out unintentionally. "I need to capture this traitor and get back to Kotzut as soon as possible."
"Why the rush?" asked Ensei. Everybody else was silent and just listening. "Doesn't the old Dragon of the West have everything under control?"
Emperor Zuko gave a short nod. "Yes, but there are things we need to deal with personally. You know I told you we found and killed the Avatar six months ago?"
Lt. Ensei nodded, and Katara tried to hide her interest. This must have been the Avatar who had come after the last one, the Air bender, and before Suyan. "The one who tried to start that rebellion with the Earth slaves?"
Zuko fingered his sword hilt. "He was an old man, hardly in any condition to fight. He was a descendent of the extinct Water Tribes, and had hidden for majority of his life before finally coming out and trying to start a war. He would have done a better job throwing his lot in with those Kyoshi rebels. His 'army' was little more than hot-headed teenagers who had no control and old men who wanted to live the glory days again."
Lt. Ensei let out a short laugh; so did Oran.
"So now," continued the Emperor, "we have to find the new Avatar. He or she must have been born soon after we killed the last one. According to the cycle, he or she should be an Earth bender first."
"Hell of a job," Ensei commented, "you're going to have to search through all of the Earth slave camps and refugees for that one kid?"
Emperor Zuko nodded again. "But Admiral Zhao had a different idea. Faster, quicker, and more efficient."
"What was it?"
"Kill all Earth bender children under the age of one."
Katara, in the very back of the procession, closed her eyes. Holy shit.
"Holy shit," said Lt. Ensei, echoing her sentiments out loud. "Only Admiral Zhao would think of something so… drastic."
Drastic? thought Katara. More like sickeningly disgusting.
"It makes sense," Emperor Zuko shrugged. "Kill them all, and we'll have to get the Avatar eventually. And when the Earth Avatar dies, he or she will be reborn into the Fire Nation."
"And would thus be under your influence and your control," said Lt. Ensei, nodding. "The Avatar will be raised as a loyal Fire Empire citizen. Those powers will come in handy when putting down the rebels."
Katara couldn't believe what she was hearing. Kill Avatars of every other element until it was finally Fire's turn in the cycle? It was horrible.
"It's a good idea," said Emperor Zuko without any sort of apparent emotion. "Zhao's fantastic strategizing intelligence at work. Implementing a gigantic massacre of month-old babies. Efficient, quick, and if done without any fuss, we could have our Fire Avatar by next summer."
"So what did you say?" Katara called, unable to keep her mouth shut any longer. "What did you decide?"
The Emperor didn't turn around to look at her. He face straight ahead, so she couldn't see his expression.
"I said no."
They rode the rest of the way in silence.
They clattered into the courtyard of Luxing Fort when the sun began to set.
All of them were wary, weapons drawn, surveying the small stony building situated on the southeastern coast of the Fire Nation. It was eerily silent, the only noise from the rippling cloth of the flags fluttering atop the roof.
"There's no one here," said Qin quietly. "Where are the sentries? The commanding officers?"
The Emperor swung his horse in a full circle, golden eyes burning with intensity. He refused to think that their hurried trip had been for nothing. The traitor was here, had to be here.
"Zhao!" Emperor Zuko roared, lifting his sword into the air. "Come out! Don't play the coward with me!"
Katara winced, and Lt. Ensei and Oran exchanged a look. That had been rash of the Emperor. Even now, none of them were a hundred per cent positive that the traitor was indeed Zhao, and his Majesty's loud declaration would not help if they ended up being incorrect.
But his proclamation had achieved results; shadows in the entrance of the Fort moved, and figures dressed in the red armor of the Fire Empire emerged. They had helmets on, and none of their features were distinguishable.
The Emperor rode to the front of the patrol. "Where is your commander?" he asked imperiously. "Bring him to me at once."
The soldiers said nothing, merely continued to march forward. The horses nickered nervously as the red-clad soldiers slowly surrounded the group. Katara made a hurried count. Over twenty of them- practically a full regiment of troops. And they weren't replying to their Emperor's demands.
"Didn't you hear me?" demanded Emperor Zuko. "I said, bring Admiral Zhao to me at once!"
One of the soldiers spoke up, his voice muffled and made anonymous by his helmet. "Admiral Zhao is currently busy in a meeting. He will see you when he is ready."
"A meeting with a Kyoshi rebel!" shouted the Emperor. "He's conspiring with the enemy!"
Impossible, Katara thought to herself, eyes widening. Impossible. No Kyoshi Islander would ever betray the people and attempt to have a meeting with a Fire Empire admiral. The Mistress would never have allowed it. Not even for peace. Besides, Admiral Zhao wasn't out for peace- he was out for the world.
"Come inside with us calmly," said the helmeted soldier, "and we won't have to use force."
Emperor Zuko was beyond angry. He lashed out, sending fire blasts at the traitorous soldiers. The Elites charged forward at their lord's heels, and attempted to break through the lines for the Fort.
It was a complete failure. They were outnumbered, six to one, and were quickly apprehended, weapons taken away. Katara attempted to stab her attacker but she was set on by two others and soon she was on the ground, breath knocked out, trying to spit dirt from her mouth. She couldn't see anything beyond the boots of the soldiers, but she assumed that the other members of her patrol had been caught as well. Where was Kaz? Was Kaz okay? She could hear the outraged voice of the Emperor.
"This is treason!" he yelled, and Katara caught a hint of smoke and singed cloth on the air. He must have begun Fire bending. "You are disobeying your Emperor! You will be killed for your insubordination- traitors!"
Nobody answered him, and when Katara was hauled to her feet roughly, she could see that Lt. Ensei's face was bruised, Qin's nose bloody, Oran's arm at an awkward angle, and Kaz looked like a frightened child. This was not what he had been expecting when he'd begged her to come on this trip.
The Emperor had more than five soldiers trying to keep him down. He attempted to Fire bend, and one of the masked men slammed his sword hilt into the Emperor's skull. His head went limp, unconscious.
Katara began to struggle, reaching for the sword of one of her captors. Impatient, he delivered a blow to the back of her head, and everything went dark.
But before she lost consciousness, she had time to notice two limp, bloody, dead green-clad figures being carried by four Fire soldiers from the side entrance of the fort towards the beach.
Impossible.
Katara woke up with cold stone against her cheek. Oran's face filled her vision, worried and drawn.
"You okay, Katara?" he asked, helping her to stand up and sit on one of the wooden benches nailed to the wall. She stared through metal bars. So they were in a cell.
She nodded her head, running her tongue over her teeth and grimacing at the disgusting taste. "How long was I out?"
Oran glanced over at Lt. Ensei, sitting on the opposite bench, closest to the cell bars. "Two hours. Maybe more."
"And nothing else has happened?"
He shook his head. Katara peered through the dim, flickering torchlight. Qin, Faozu, and Ensei were all slumped on the other bench, faces both weary and angry. Kaz sat against the back wall, eyes dazed. Oran sat down next to her. But where was...?
She looked through the metal bars separating this cell from the one next to it, and saw the Emperor. He was pacing, like a caged tiger, walking back and forth and back and forth in his prison. So he was kept separate from them.
"Admiral Zhao hasn't shown up yet?" she turned back to Oran, the only who seemed in the mood for talking.
He shrugged a no.
"That bastard," Emperor Zuko gritted through his teeth from the next cell, "will have a lot to answer for once I get my hands on him."
Nobody had anything to say to that. Katara leaned her head back on the cool stone and closed her eyes, swallowing. Her muscles protested the sore treatment the soldiers had given her. They must have been underground- there were no windows, and the only light was from the torches. The cells seemed to be built around a central, square room that had a small table and chair in the center and a door on one side that probably led back up to the ground level. As far she could tell, they and the Emperor were the only occupants of the dungeon.
"What's going to happen to us?" asked Kaz plaintively.
Oran and Lt. Ensei shrugged together.
"You've... you've been in worse situations than this, and survived, right?" Kaz almost begged for reassurance.
"Betrayed by an Admiral of the Fire Navy, and locked away in his dungeons with no chance of escape?" Lt. Ensei laughed dryly. "This has got to be rock bottom."
"First time for everything," muttered Faozu.
"Sorry you got dragged into this, kid," Lt. Ensei shrugged, turning away. "But you asked to come. You knew it would be dangerous.
Kaz looked like he was trying not to cry.
Hours passed; food and water in a pitcher was brought to them by an anonymous guard, which nobody touched at first. The Emperor pushed against the bars of his cell and made demands of the soldier, but the man merely turned his back and exited again. Emperor Zuko, frustrated, blasted fire through the bars and into the central room, heightening the torches' flame. After that, he was silent. None of them said anything; the situation was beyond words. All they could do was wait.
Katara dozed off, as did most everybody else, except for Emperor Zuko, who kept his eyes trained on the door. An uncountable amount of time must have gone by, because stomachs began to growl after most of them woke up from their sleep.
"Shit," said the Emperor, about an hour after they had eaten the cold gruel and sipped the dank water.
"What?" asked Ensei.
"I can't Fire bend."
"What?"
"I can't fucking Bend!" the Emperor roared, and moved in a powerful motion that usually had a wild flame at the end of his fists. But this time, nothing came out.
"They drugged the food," Kaz realized. "They drugged it so you can't Bend."
Lt. Ensei rounded on Kaz. "What do you mean, drugged it?"
"The Guzho plant leaves, mixed with a tasteless juice from its fruit, makes a potent drink that deprives a Bender of their ability for up to a day, depending on the amount taken," Kaz rattled off, as if memorizing from a textbook. "It does to a Bender's spirit abilities what alcohol does to a regular man's head."
"I can't believe this!" the Emperor pounded his fist against the stone wall. "I can't believe they tricked me!"
And all of a sudden, the door opened, bright light spilling in, and the Admiral Zhao stepped into the room, face smirking and triumphant.
"Well well well... what have we here?" he said, voice silky and mocking.
"Zhao!" Emperor Zuko launched himself forward only to be stopped by his prison. "You traitor! You'll be punished for this! You'll be executed, slowly and painfully-"
"Tsk tsk," said Zhao, smiling at the younger man. "Such language. And just when we were about to have some fun."
"Fun?" the Emperor straightened. "You're a sick man, Zhao." His voice was confident, but Katara could see the tension in his body, the readying of himself for pain and torture.
Zhao laughed, long and loud. The fire from the torches flickered against the walls. "You're such a self-centered little shit," Zhao said to Zuko with a sort of twisted affection. "And you're not even the one I'm interested in."
Emperor Zuko looked confused first. "What?" He'd assumed that he, the Emperor, was the one Admiral Zhao wanted to eliminate and capture, as all of them had thought. Katara's mind raced ahead—
And felt the world come crashing down around her as reasoning and logic gave her the answer. The knowledge in Zhao's eyes, the departure of the rebels she'd seen before blacking out.
The Admiral's eyes passed over the Emperor, passed over the angry faces of her patrol members, and came to rest on Katara's face.
Fuck, she thought. Oh fuck.
He could see the admission in her eyes, the drowning horror, and swept her a mocking bow, much like the one he'd shown her such a long time ago at Adia's ball. "Long time no see, Lady Katara," he said, his face a gentle sneer. "Why don't you come forward from the back of that dirty cell so I can see your pretty face again?"
Her body was frozen. She had no idea what to do. She wanted to stall for time, she wanted to stop time, wanted to stop this from happening and oh no-
Lt. Ensei stood up, and his body moved in front of her, shielding her from Admiral Zhao's view. Qin, Faozu, and Oran did the same thing, creating a protective barrier.
"Why don't you come in here and get her, Admiral," said the Lieutenant calmly.
Zhao laughed again, long and loud and harsh. "Don't you find this ironic, Katara?" he called to her. "Don't you find their loyalty ironic?"
Yes, she thought to herself. She found it utterly, sickeningly ironic.
All she could do was shake her head. She couldn't make herself move. Then out of the corner of her eye, she caught Zhao's quick movement, and all of a sudden Kaz was slammed against the cell, the Admiral's tight fist gripping his neck from between the bars. A flash of metal, and then a knife was at Kaz's throat.
"I'll kill the small Elite," said Zhao, face expressionless. "Or any Elite. Get out here, now."
Kaz was going to get himself killed because of her.
He wasn't even struggling. They all knew that one movement, one slip and the knife would slide in smoothly.
Admiral Zhao forced the knife upwards, and blood oozed from the cut under Kaz's throat. He let out an involuntary cry of pain and fear. Looking into his eyes, Katara knew that the Admiral was not lying. He was insane, driven by something beyond morals and ethics. There was no end to what he would do in order to get what he wanted. He would kill Kaz if he needed to, and continue to hurt everybody else around her until she acceded to him.
The Emperor spoke from the next cell, clearly confused. "Katara?"
This is the end, she thought again, and pushed forward between Lt. Ensei and Qin, startling them. Faozu made a grab for her but she shook him off, blinded by her decision. "He doesn't bluff," she muttered, and stepped up to the bars.
Admiral Zhao raked his eyes over her face, her body. Katara tried not to breath; tried not to look away. A row of metal bars separated the two of them and the cold iron felt like toothpicks, the only thing keeping him from destroying her.
"You are a curious bitch," he said, eyes like flames.
One of the faceless guards who had followed Admiral Zhao in unlocked the door for her and she stepped out, eyes staring straight ahead at the opposite wall. She refused to look at her friends, refused to answer their confused cries and shouts. Now she felt vulnerable; no longer were there bars separating her from the madness that was Admiral Zhao. No protection. No mask to hide behind.
Zhao shoved Kaz backwards, and the he stumbled before the rest caught him and set him down gently on the floor, trying to staunch the flow of blood.
"Sit down," Zhao shoved her towards the chair in the center of the room. She sat down stiffly, and didn't move as the guards chained her arms to the chair.
"You," said Zhao, circling around her, "have no idea how long I've been waiting to do this."
"Zhao!" yelled the Emperor, grasping the bars of his cell as if he could break them with his bare hands and rush outside. "She is nothing to you! I'm the one you need to kill! She's just a soldier! She's nothing!"
Zhao laughed delightedly. "Nothing? You think she's nothing?" He pointed one triumphant finger at Katara's down turned face. "She is everything to this war, my dear Emperor. She is the fork in the road, the final weight that will tip the scale for one side instead of the other." Then he turned around and backhanded her viciously across the face.
She let her head hang where he had slapped her. There was no point in fighting back. There was nothing she could do now but keep her mouth shut, and try to contain this explosion as much as she could.
The Admiral's voice changed suddenly, from victorious delight to a cold rage. "I'm tired of playing these games. We're going to talk, like mature adults, right now."
Katara understood now. He was going to do it in front of the Elites. In front of Oran, in front of Ensei, in front of Kaz.
In front of the Emperor.
The Admiral was sadistic; he wouldn't be happy to simply tell the Emperor and the Elites her loyalties- he wanted them to hear it from her mouth, so there would be no doubt as to the truth of what he was implying. He wanted her to betray them with her own words. He wanted to see the disbelief on their faces, the shattering realization.
And he would take much pleasure from watching them suffer. Watching them suffer for her weaknesses and her lies.
He leaned down to whisper in her ear, hidden from the Elites across the cold room, "Your rebel friends died from the torture before they could give me what I truly wanted, although your name was a nice surprise. Amazing what fire on sensitive parts of the body can do to loosen a person's tongue. But they gave out too soon. You will provide the rest."
"We won't believe anything you say, Zhao," said the Emperor in a resolute voice from his cell, catching Zhao's attention. "You're trying to turn us against each other. It won't work."
"Shut up!" the Admiral let off a fiery blast towards Emperor Zuko, and he barely dodged it in time. Zhao turned back to Katara. "Talk."
Silence.
Somewhere in the dank, underground air of the dungeons, Katara could hear the slight drip, drip, drip of water sliding down the stone walls. She kept her mouth closed.
A barraged of fists rained down on her body and face. She kicked back desperately, towards his groin. But he was fast and she was blinded by the pain; head ringing, world spinning. Then fire, singeing her hair and catching her left shoulder; she cried out this time, unable to keep it in.
Dimly she could hear the outraged shouts of her fellow Elites and the Emperor. She tried to fight back again, but felt the bite of the metal cuffs on her wrists and she knew she was trapped, truly trapped this time.
He punched her in the stomach; she wheezed and the world tilted.
Zhao grabbed her hair and forced her head back, to stare across the room.
"Do you see your fellow Elites? Do you see your darling Emperor?"
Katara blinked, through red tears, through heavy breathing and desperate thoughts, and saw the blurred, angry faces of her fellow soldiers. Angry. Angry for her.
Zhao let her go to slump forward, and raised one hand to cup a burning flame. "If you don't answer my questions, I'll shoot one of them."
"Don't tell him anything," called Lt. Ensei. "Don't worry about us."
"I can do worse than burn them," said Zhao. "And I'll start with the little one."
Kaz let out a small moan.
I'm so sorry, she thought. I'm so sorry you got dragged into this.
Juiko's insane, fever-crazed eyes, telling her to be careful about falling in love with the world too much, because it would never last. Hiro, bleeding to death after seeing her betray them, begging her to lie to him so he would be able to die in peace.
All her fault.
She wouldn't let it happen again.
Not to her friends. Not to Kaz. Not like this.
Across the room, her eyes connected with Zuko's, and she couldn't, for the life of her, figure out what he wanted her to do.
So she said around the blood in her mouth, "What do you want to know?"
"No," said Zuko. Katara looked at him again, and knew that once she let one thing go, everything else would follow.
"You know what I want to know," said Zhao, and his voice was filled with a malice, a satisfaction beyond knowing. "I want to know about the Avatar."
Sokka and Suki were far away; not here. The Mistress wasn't either. Kyoshi was a faint, glimmering illusion in her memory.
Katara was alone, facing down this monster that no one would be able to save her from.
Zhao began to walk towards the other cell, lifting his arm and aiming it at the Emperor.
Zuko stared through the bars at Zhao; at Katara.
"No!" Katara strained against her bindings. "No—"
"She doesn't know the fucking Avatar, you bastard!" Lt. Ensei yelled, throwing himself at the bars. "Are you insane?"
Zhao smiled, and her world shattered. "Well, Katara, you sure have them fooled. So what will it be? The truth, or the Emperor's life?"
"Don't believe him!" Ensei roared. "You threaten to shoot somebody's friend and they'll damn well do anything you say to keep their friend alive! He's just threatening her!"
Zhao continued to smile, and they all waited for her. The flame in Zhao's hand was growing and she couldn't take her eyes off it.
"You'll kill him anyways," she said, stalling for time, trying to put it all off. "You're going to kill him anyway when you steal the throne."
"Always such a smart girl," Zhao replied, smirking. "But if I kill him now, you'll get to watch it. And know that it's all your fault."
"You understand," the Emperor said.
"Your honor is at stake," she said simply.
I'll keep you alive, she thought to Zuko. And I hope you understand.
And maybe one day, I'll be able to thank you for it.
"The Avatar's on Kyoshi," Katara said. "Kyoshi Island."
Zhao let his arm drop and strode back to her.
The Elites were silent.
"When was the last time you had contact with the rebels?"
"Yesterday," she answered.
Zhao laughed.
Lt. Ensei shoved his way to the front of the cell, staring at her. But he doesn't say a word. None of them do.
Zuko dropped his gaze and looked away from her.
But it was only the beginning.
Zhao dragged it out of her, winding her words around his triumphant eyes and mocking laughter. He dived into every part of her that no one had ever seen before, that she'd kept hidden from the Elites; from Zuko.
Zhao cracked her mask, destroyed her person.
He knew exactly where to cut, exactly where to shock and surprise and break.
They're just words, she thought, as lies were stripped away and the truth came pouring out over the broken dam. But words never saved anybody.
So she told him what he wanted to know.
Katara grew up on Kyoshi Island. No, she'd been found washed up on the beach. Yes, she was technically an orphan. Yes, she was a descendent of the Water Tribes.
Yes, she was a Water bender.
Yes, she had been raised by the rulers of the Island, the minds behind the rebel attack against the Empire. She had been trained as a Kyoshi Warrior, and been sent here to spy on the Fire Empire and yes, to kill the Emperor.
How often she'd rendezvoused with the rebels in the time she'd spent with the Elites. Katara told about how she'd talked to Lori the day she'd joined the Elites (Lt. Ensei swore here).
She told him how she'd been there when Warrior Yuhao had committed suicide rather than be tortured by the Empire. She remembered seeing Warrior Kian in the forest; Hiro's death she brushed over, tried not to probe to hard because she knew it would be so easy for that wound to start bleeding again. And she told him about meeting Makito in the village yesterday, how she'd found out the existence of the Avatar on Kyoshi Island, and it was a girl this time, a baby girl.
The Elites heard it. The Emperor heard it. Zhao wanted them to hear it, and they did, laid out in front of her like a ghastly parade of lies and faults and I am so fucking sorry.
When she hesitated in telling Zhao anything, he hit her and told her to make sure she was telling the truth or somebody would be getting a fireball in the face.
Katara told Zhao about the rebels and her mission so that he wouldn't kill any of the Elites or Zuko. She revealed everything to keep them from death. She betrayed them in order to save them. Even now, even at the end of it all, she protected them. It was her job to keep the Emperor alive.
When it had been her job to kill him.
That irony was more painful than the bruises and cuts on her body from Zhao's beating.
After the draining of her words, her blood, Zhao laughed again, one last, long time, and had her untied from the chair. The guards shoved her into a cell across the room from the Elites and the Emperor. She lay on the cold floor where they'd dropped her, limp, unmoving, and bleeding.
"It's for your own protection," Zhao smirked, slamming the door shut on her.
Then he left the dungeon with his lackeys, leaving behind her words to swell in the air around her and the Elites.
When he left they talked to her.
"You weren't lying, were you," said Lt. Ensei.
Katara didn't answer. Her head rested on the chill stone, eyes staring at the damp ceiling above her. She couldn't feel her left arm.
Lt. Ensei began to swear, a long roll of profanity and curses. Qin and Faozu, and Oran joined in with vehemence.
But the ones who didn't speak were the ones she couldn't look at. Kaz. Zuko.
Somewhere along the way, she lost consciousness.
She didn't dream. Sleep was a black silence.
A/N: Not much to say. This was a hard chapter to write. Hardest ever.
Oh, and thanks for telling me about the magical reappearance of !dead Hiro last chapter. That was stupid of me, because as far as I know, ghosts don't exist in the Avatar world. I suck at life. I shall go fix that now.
I'm not going to be answering a lot of the questions because most of them were probably answered by this chapter.
is there going to be a sequel? -hppartygirl
No sequel.
Also, for the creepy factor, you live just about 4 hours away from me. I'm on the other side of the Cascades. -chorse
Boo-yah for Washingtonians.
You're a very inspiring person. -Khazia
You are a very inspiring reviewer. People like you make me write more and better.
More of the memory beginning to burst forth, breaking free of the lock
and key it was put under by the process of dying and being reborn.
Destined to find each other again and fall in love again--it's a thing
of beauty, really. And quite a bit of sappiness that makes you want to
vomit. But a bit more of the beauty part of things. -gladdecease
You're so damn quotable. And awesome. Exactly my thoughts.
Chapter title from the song "Silence" by Delerium, feat. Sarah McLachlan.