His brothers (mostly Izuna) might be shocked silly if they witnessed this, but Madara didn't mind being dragged around by Hashirama.
Senju Hashirama, unlike many others, breached other people's personal space without ulterior motives and deception, innocent like a child with only pure thoughts in mind. That was why Madara did not find Hashirama's hand-holding behavior uncomfortable or odd. These thoughts, however, did not extend to Hashirama's clan, unfortunately.
"Hashirama!" Someone shrieked, tone utterly scandalized. "What kind of wretched behavior is this?! On your wedding day, no less!"
Madara and Hashirama both came to a screeching halt. They turned as one with twin looks of confusion etched across their face. The person who had shrieked was an elderly woman who appeared to be in her 60s, with greying hair and a sharp gaze, her slitted eyes and angular features brought a sense of familiarity to Madara. She wore a regal-looking pink kimono and had her hair up in a tight bun, tight enough to give her a facelift. The expression on her face could burn water.
"Hiiobaa-sama!" Hashirama called out to the elderly woman, more so in surprise than anything else.
Madara himself was surprised.
Ah, after squinting for a bit, he could somewhat see the family resemblance between this woman and Tobirama. No wonder those penetrating chocolate eyes brought a sense of familiarity with it. Then-Tobirama held that exact expression when angered beyond reason.
"Is this your sousobo, Hash- Senju-sama?" Madara asked belatedly. His lips were quirked into a pretty smile, polite and respectful towards his friend's elder. "How do you do, madam? I am –"
"Shameless!" The elderly finished for him, which left him baffled. She forcefully separated their joint hands and stood to face Madara head-on, an enraged look on her graceful features as she pushed her great-grandson to her back in a protective gesture. "Begone, harlot! I may be old, but I am not afraid to claw your face into ribbons. Don't test me!"
Madara was stupefied. He blinked, unable to comprehend her words as he made eye contact with the equally dumbfounded Hashirama.
"You...! You still dare bat your eye at my grandson?! Wench! Over my dead body will I overlook your inappropriate behavior!" The elderly woman roared. Fortunately, they were alone at the edge of the Senju compound, far enough from the celebration and attendees to be left unheard.
Madara, having realized that they were being misunderstood, quickly took a step back, hands raised in a placating manner. "Please, calm yourself, hiiobaa-sama –" was apparently the wrong thing to address her by. She completely blew her top.
"Who are you to call me great-grandmother?! I do not have harlots in my family! Get lost! You are not welcome in this compound. I don't know how a shameless trollop like you have managed to seduce my great-grandchild to this extent... it must be genjutsu. My Hashirama will never betray his wife without foul play brought by green tea foxes!"
Hashirama choked, the oblivious Senju having finally caught up. "Hiiobaa-sama, no!" He flailed with a shriek; the pitch of his voice high enough to match a pre-pubescent girl's.
"No? No?!" The elderly woman turned to Hashirama so fast Madara almost doubted her age. Her nostrils flared as she grabbed ahold of her great-grandchild's forearm and raised a hand. "What no?! Are you defending this wench?! I. Did. Not. Raise. You. To. Be. Unfaithful. To. Your. Wife!" With every word she spoke, she smacked her palm down his back.
"Ahh! It hurts! Wai- stop! No, hiiobaa-sama, you're wrong- Ouch!"
Poor Hashirama, who stood at a towering height of 185cm, with a bulky frame and broad shoulders to match, was hunched over and crying out in pain as he was smacked repeatedly by a 150cm elderly woman. It would've been a comical sight if not for the humiliating misconception fueling her action.
Madara was horrified enough to take a few extra steps back. It, apparently, was the wrong move to make. His movement caught the elderly woman's attention. "And you, I will discipline you in place of your mother! I will beat that despicable nature out of you!" She gave a war cry before lunging at Madara.
Flustered as he was, Madara didn't know if he should catch her mid-leap to prevent her from accidentally hurting herself or hightail out of there before she could get her wrinkly claws on him. The decision was taken from him when a woman their age swooped in and carried the elderly lady away from him.
The two women stood at Hashirama's side, one calm whilst the other agitated. "I implore that you calm yourself, Masa-sama." The kunoichi asserted stoically. "You must be conscious of your blood pressure."
It was easy to tell that this tall woman was a kunoichi. She stood and moved like any other trained warrior of the Senju clan, her posture unbending and full of confidence. She wore the Senju clan's standard green armour and was visibly armed with a naginata strapped at her back. Her short dark brown hair was shaved at the sides, ears abundantly pierced, eye color a similar shade to Hashirama's, and an eyepatch that covered the entirety of her right face.
Madara recognized her. He wasn't, obviously, acquainted with her to know her name. However, he had seen her on the frontlines enough times to be familiar with her face. Although she wasn't one he could enjoy dancing with, she was without a doubt strong to have lasted this long against Madara's bloodthirsty clan, especially for those in their age group. Their generation was full of prodigies from both sides of the battlefield. A normal shinobi would have long been buried/cremated depending on the clan they hailed from.
The elderly woman, Masa(?), cried out angrily whilst slapping the kunoichi's armoured stomach, the only place she could reach without exerting her reach. Unlike the overly dramatic Hashirama, the kunoichi didn't so much as flinch. "I shan't calm down, at least not until I see that homewrecker dead!"
Madara covered the lower half of his face with his hand and looked away, too embarrassed about this misunderstanding to react otherwise. Unfortunate for him, his reaction only poured oil into the flames. Hashirama choked, his eyes intent and his hands did some sort of silent communication, not at all discreet.
Thankfully, before Masa could shatter their eardrums with more of her enraged screeching, the kunoichi took it upon herself to cleanly fix the misunderstanding without embarrassing both sides (further, on Madara's part).
"Deai Daraku-sensei, was it? It is a pleasure to meet Itama-sama's famed and distinguished master. I am Niko, please call me as such," the kunoichi stated in a monotone. "You have our clan's eternal gratitude for passing your teachings to Itama-sama."
The elderly woman, as if she had just realized her misunderstanding between Hashirama's and Madara's friendliness, pressed her lips firmly together. There was a slight blush dusting the bridge of her nose.
Madara quickly held onto the lifeline that had been thrown at him. He returned the kunoichi's greeting as if the past five minutes had not happened. "You flatter me, Niko-san. It is a pleasure to meet another one of my student's fellow clansperson. If it is no trouble, might I ask for an introduction?" Madara deliberately turned to the elderly woman and purposefully quirked his lips into a benign smile.
"Of course, Deai-sensei. This is Masa-sama, she is the main family's eminent elder. Masa-sama, Deai Daraku-sensei – as you've heard – is the person who has claimed Itama-sama as her disciple." The kunoichi, Niko, took care of the introduction beautifully and bought time for Masa to collect her composure.
"R-Right!" Hashirama pipped in. He coughed rather dramatically to clear his throat. "Hiiobaa-sama doesn't need to worry. I will always be faithful to Mito! Sensei and I are just friends. In fact, I think she's already dating someone else! I'm not someone who will interfere with other's love life."
Madara's eyebrow twitched, Masa wore a frustrated expression, and even the cool-headed Niko turned away to facepalm at Hashirama's idiocy. The most annoying people in the world, in Madara's eyes, were the ones with loose lips, no tact, or were righteous. Currently, Hashirama was acting like all three.
The daft Senju did not realize that they had all moved away from that delicate misunderstanding, and had brought said subject back with the finesse of a rampant elephant. Sage, Hashirama, quite apparent, has the emotional quotient of a wooden teaspoon.
Madara snapped his fan open to attract their attention. He wasn't ready to breach that misunderstood topic, so he would focus on another point of Hashirama's foot-in-the-mouth syndrome. "I have a daughter, yes." Whilst still omitting a lot of facts, Madara's response held true. "In fact, Tobira-"
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Hashirama's sudden, ear-shattering, high-pitched screech cut Madara off before he could happily inform them of Tobirama's status as his daughter's godfather, which would then have reassured Masa to never doubt Madara's intentions towards Hashirama again.
"Hashirama! What in the world are you shouting so loudly for?!" Masa's expression was fierce, her eyes were expressive in their tale of hating iron for not becoming steel. As if that was not enough to show her ire, her hand latched onto Hashirama's forearm and she began another round of smacking him in the back.
"Ouch! St- ah! Hiiobaa-sama pl-ease, oh Log it hurts...! Ow!"
"Why. Can't. You. Conduct. Yourself. Appropriately?!"
"But-!"
"You dare talk back?!"
"Niko halp!"
Madara covered the lower half of his face with his opened tessen and sighed. Niko and he traded sympathetic, tired looks as they watched the elderly woman discipline (beat the shit out of) her great-grandson for his poor EQ and lack of manners.
It seemed like the hunt for Kawarama will be delayed until further notice.