A/N: Knew that wouldn't go down too well. Don't suppose it matters though... Oh, can I recommend a story? I will anyway. Try 'Thunder and Lightning' by Solostarr. Okay? Good.

She wasn't actually sure where she was going until she reached her own front door. Then she found her breathing quickened as she recalled the last thing that had happened in that house. For a second she contemplated turning right around but then she glanced up the street, saw a few people and realised it was the first time she'd been outside in days. That was all the pushing she needed, opening the door she entered the darkened hallway.

Almost instantly she was faced with a flood of bad memories. In her mind she could see the omniscient view- Gabriel pushing her against the wall, ripping her dress as he... Forcing that image out of her head she locked the door behind her, climbing the stairs and collapsing in a heap on the bed.

CID was so oppressive at times. Whenever Sam looked up she found ten pairs of eyes on her, at first she thought she might have forgotten to get dressed or something but after double-checking she settled on the argument that, if she was feeling awful on the inside, then it would inevitably show on the outside. So she was trying to rise above the attention even though she was having trouble mustering the energy.

Having got a blockage while typing up her reports form the previous day and too aware that her thoughts were anywhere but on her work, she went downstairs, intent on finding the one other person who had seemed to recognise her feelings. As she approached Gina's office though she went head-first into Sheelagh coming out of it. 'Oh, sorry.'

'It's fine.' The voice was impersonal, not what she'd grown accustomed to from PC Murphy.

'Are you alright?' As if she needed to ask, the tiredness on her face said all there was to say.

'I needed to speak to you actually.'

'Really?' Her voice was too hopeful, she knew that as soon as Sheelagh flinched. 'What about?'

'I just need to know if you'll supply a witness statement for what... For last week.'

A witness statement? 'You don't have to ask that. You know I will.'

'I appreciate it.' Sheelagh started to walk away.

'Wait a second,' Sam reached for her arm, slightly encouraged when she wasn't hit. 'I'm sorry about yesterday. I don't know what I was thinking.'

'Lie about everything, Sam. But not about that.' Shaking off the hand, Sheelagh disappeared round the corner.

Sighing, Sam continued into the office, recognising concern on Gina's face. She knew what it was about, just not the details of the current situation. 'What's the latest?'

'Apart from Sheelagh flinching every time I mentioned your name?'

'Apart from that.'

Gina shrugged. 'She's reporting the rape, I'm going with her to Barton Street.'

That stung. 'She asked you to?'

'I didn't think she should be alone. Is it a problem?'

'No, no, you're right. Just... take care of her.'

'Sam, has something happened I need to know about?'

Contemplating brushing away the question, she found herself looking up. 'I kissed her.'

Gina didn't appear half as surprised as she'd expected. 'That explains a lot then.'

'What do you mean?'

'Sam, you must know she's terrified.'

'What, of me?'

'Oh, come on! Look at her past. Des Taviner, her daughter dying, now Gabriel. She's hardly happy go lucky anymore is she?'

'She's got nothing to be scared of with me, Gina.'

'Well, I know that and deep down so does she. But he's scared her, she's been kicked in the teeth once too often.'

'So what am I supposed to do? I've tried apologising.'

'And you know why that won't work?' Gina waited for the headshake. 'Because she feels something for you too but she's so messed up right now she can't accept it.'

Sam herself was slightly confused. 'How do you know this? Did she say something?'

'It's what she didn't say. I know Sheelagh, she wouldn't be so angry with you if she wasn't getting stuck on this. Hearing your name hurts her like hell right now.'

'I promised myself I wouldn't push her. I was going to stay back, be supportive.'

'It's easier said than done. The best intentions go out the window when your feelings get involved. That's your trouble, you've blocked it all out for so long you can't cope with it.'

'I'm not emotionally incompetent, Gina.'

'You've done a pretty good imitation over the years.'

About the protest, she considered the idea. All that time when she was pushing Abi away, scared of what would happen when she finally found out the truth about her parentage, how much time had she wasted? 'I don't want to be like that anymore.'

The Inspector smiled. 'You're not. If you were you wouldn't have admitted how you feel about Sheelagh, you'd have done a bunk.'

'Don't think I didn't consider it.'

'You're too strong for that.'

'Gina, you will make sure she's alright, won't you?'

'Course I will. But Sheelagh's tough, she doesn't need me.'

'I'd like to think she needs me.'

'Maybe she does. She's just not aware of it yet.'