Chapter 9

The past several months had been full of reconnecting and healing. Once Anna allowed John in to her pain, they began to heal together. It wasn't easy. There were many moments filled with tears. Sometimes the smallest thing could set Anna into a fit of tears, but John now knew how to help her through it. He even found himself grow teary-eyed in moments he least expected. Anna also was there to comfort him.

And now they were headed off to Scotland. Anna seemed elated. A holiday is what she called it, saying they were venturing off somewhere new. John had been, of course, but he had never been with Anna. That would make this all very new for him.

It was something they desperately needed: a new view. The last several months had also been wrought with months passing and no more pregnancies, though they desperately wanted a child. This child would not be a replacement for the one they had lost, but instead their new chance at a new beginning.

Too many months had passed with a disappointed Anna. It didn't help that now Lady Mary was with child. John knew Anna was pleased for Lady Mary, but it stung that she still had not gotten pregnant again.

"We should have some time for ourselves while we're there," John said. He leaned over slightly to whisper into Anna's ear. Her eyes were out of the train window, taking in all the sights. She turned her head toward him and smiled.

"I do hope so." There was a twinkle in Anna's eye. "We've never been on a holiday together."

"No," John agreed. "We have not."

Anna's hand gathered around John's, and she gave it a squeeze.

"I love you."

"And I, my darling, love you."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

They did have time alone together on this trip, and Anna was glad. She enjoyed being able to walk along paths with John, just to talk. There was much lightness in the air, a weight off her chest. She hadn't realized just how much she had needed him to help her heal from the pain of losing their son, their Christopher.

Anna sometimes thought about how he would be toddling now in front of them, likely calling her Mama and John Papa. Those were the hardest thoughts, a memory that would never exist.

But today was a good day. Anna had made sure of it. She and John were sitting outside near the water having a picnic.

"Is there anything to drink?" John asked.

"There certainly is," Anna said. She dug around into the picnic basket in order to find what she was searching for.

"Beer?" John was surprised. "That's very racy of you."

Anna chuckled.

"I am racy!" She declared.

"What shall we drink to?" John asked.

"The future." Anna smiled, her lower lip catching between her teeth. "And your Scottish blood."

John narrowed his eyes slightly before grinning.

"What are you up to?"

Anna adjusted the napkin on her lap before glancing back up at him. She felt the warmth flood her cheeks. Sitting up more, she took in a deep breath.

"I'm not up to anything, Mr. Bates. But I do believe our future will be bright."

"In what way?" John pushed a bit more.

"Because, before we left, Dr. Clarkson confirmed what I had been expecting for a little while now. I'm pregnant."

John's lips curled up.

"What?" He breathed.

"I'm pregnant," Anna repeated. John leaned forward and drew Anna closer toward him. Their lips met. The birds chirped around them, as the water rushed beside them. Everything felt perfect.

As they pulled away, Anna felt John rest his hand on her cheek.

"I am a bit nervous," Anna admitted.

"Of course," John murmured.

"But I am also elated."

John smiled.

"Me too, my darling. Me too."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Tragedy did come to Downton again, but it did not touch them this time. No, it took Mr. Crawley, right after Master George had been born. Anna was often with Mary, helping to fuss over the baby and helping Mary, who seemed to withdraw from life all together.

John worried. He worried it was far too much on Anna's plate, especially now with the baby. But Anna was stubborn. She insisted she was fine and that their little lad, she was convinced it was another boy, was doing perfectly.

In the evenings, John enjoyed the feel of their child in Anna's belly. It kicked and kicked all night long. Sometimes, he worried it made Anna exhausted, but she said it made her pleased that he was strong and healthy. Though he knew she still grew anxious about the birth. From his memory of when she had been pregnant with Christopher, she said he had kicked often, as well.

"You look tired," John said one morning. Anna was already up and out of bed, though they didn't have to be at work for another hour. He sat up slightly and tugged on Anna's hand, hoping to pull her back into the bed. But Anna shook her head. Her back was to him.

"Anna, my darling?"

"I…" Anna took in a sharp breath. Immediately, John sat up. It was early. They were supposed to have another few weeks. He moved to Anna's side and placed his hand on her lower back.

"It's too early," Anna cried.

"Shh," he murmured. "I'll go next door, have them ring for Dr. Clarkson." He wanted to promise that it would be alright, but he couldn't do that. They had already lost one child. They were aware of how fragile life could be.

John quickly made his way to the neighbors' cottage. They were the only ones who had a telephone. They rang for the doctor and then sent their boy up to Downton to let them know Anna had gone into labor. Once that was all settled, he made his way back inside to Anna.

The calm woman of the past several months was now standing near the corner of the room, with fear etched over her face. It pained John that the pain of their loss shadowed such a monumental moment in their lives.

"Hey," he whispered. "Why don't you lie down?"

Anna took his hands and allowed him to take her to the bed. She sat down on the bed. John sat beside her. She tensed, the pain etched over her features.

"I'm here," he promised her.

"Will you stay the whole time?" Anna asked.

"Yes," John answered without hesitation. While he was sure Dr. Clarkson would insist he needed to leave and that it was not proper, John knew he would stay. Anna needed him to be there through every step.

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The pains were sharp. Anna was glad that John was there to coach her through it. Despite Dr. Clarkson's feelings about having a husband in the room, John had been able to convince him that he needed to be there. He held Anna's hand and kissed her head. Not once did he pale with any of the gritty details of childbirth.

She pushed and screamed.

There was a loud cry. Anna felt relief flow through her. She began to cry.

"It's a boy!" Dr. Clarkson announced. John bent down, kissing Anna.

"You did it," he whispered. "We have a son."

Anna fell back against the pillows, exhausted. Dr. Clarkson placed the pink baby onto her chest and she immediately clung to him. He was still crying. It was the best sound in the world. She brought the blanket firmly around him and couldn't stop her own happy tears.

"We have a son, John. A son!"

"We do," John chuckled. "Oh Anna, he's perfect. Thank you."

Epilogue

Upon Anna's request, they named their son John William Bates, Jr. But they called him Johnny. The baby boy was a loud little lad. Anna would joke that he wanted to make sure the world knew he was there. They didn't mind it. He was theirs.

Johnny was only two months old when the Dame Melba came for the house party. Anna was still staying at the cottage, caring for their newborn baby. However, she had been invited to come to the party. She hadn't left Johnny with anyone yet, but they offered the nursery. Anna and John discussed it. John convinced her to allow Johnny to stay upstairs with the nanny as they enjoyed the music. It would be their first 'date' since his birth.

The music was beautiful, but Anna had a headache. She was certain it was from the lack of sleep. Her son liked to wake up every ninety minutes for nourishment. Her fingers rubbed the side of her temple. Then she bent over to whisper into John's ear.

"I've got a bit of a headache."

"Because of the singing?" John asked.

"Well, it's not making it any better. It's probably the lack of sleep. I'll pop down and get something."

Quietly, Anna got out of her chair. She slipped behind the crowd when the song ended and everyone was clapping. Though the clapping did not help her headache.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

John felt alone with Anna gone. He listened as the next song played, thinking of how Anna would enjoy it. Then his thoughts went to his son. While he was often away from Johnny for many hours of the day, he always knew their son was safe with Anna. Leaving him in the nursery was different.

Anna still hadn't returned. He glanced around, hoping to find her. He even whispered to Mrs. Hughes a joke about her falling asleep downstairs.

Quietly, he got up and snuck away. He tiptoed up the stairs, not wanting to draw any attention to himself. When he made it to the nursery, he found a sleeping Anna. She was in the rocking chair with Johnny on her chest. He smiled. It seemed she also hadn't been able to stay away from their son.

He walked over toward her and kissed her crown. She stirred.

"Oh," she murmured.

"Shh, why don't we go home?" John suggested. Anna sat up with a yawn. John carefully took his son from Anna's arms. "Did you get some powder for your head?"

Anna shook her head.

"We'll grab some on the way out. Come on, my darling, let's get you home."

"What about Lord Grantham?"

"I can make it back in time," John promised. He helped her up from the chair. He knew his wife was exhausted. But any time he mentioned it, she swore it was a wonderful exhaustion, because their son was there.

"As long as you're sure."

"I am."

They made their way to the downstairs, surprised to see Lord Gillingham's valet walking back up the stairs, looking disappointed.

"Seems he didn't find what he was looking for," John said.

"No," Anna chuckled. "I guess not."

John made sure Anna got some powder for her headache. He then assisted her with her coat.

"You're too good to me," Anna said. She took Johnny back into her arms, adjusting him just so beneath the coat for warmth.

"It's because you are too good to me." John winked. "Now, let's go home, all three of us."

Anna smiled.

"Yes, all three of us."

The End

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