'In here.' Samantha opened the door to the relative's room, forcing Sheelagh inside and onto the tatty sofa. 'How long have you known?'

'The doctor confirmed it today. Sorry, yesterday.'

'Okay.' Sam nodded, trying to process it all. 'When did you first suspect?'

'I've got kids, Sam. I know the signs.'

'That doesn't answer my question.'

'A few days. Not long.'

Seeing Sheelagh avoiding her gaze confirmed Sam's suspicions it had been longer. 'Why didn't you tell me when you first thought it was a possibility?'

'I wasn't sure.'

'You just said yourself, you're a mother, you know the signals.'

'Alright,' Sheelagh relented, looking up. 'Things have been going so well for us. This last month's been my happiest for a long time and I know this changes things.'

Despite her irritation, Sam softened slightly. 'I can't believe you told Gina before me.'

'I had to. After all the time off I've had recently I needed a good reason.'

'Right.' Sam slowly let out her breath as she searched for something comforting to say. Nothing sprang to mind.

'Are you alright?' question Sheelagh after a lengthy silence. 'You look a little pale.'

'It's been a long day. Anyway, I should be asking you these things. What did the doctor say?'

'Everything seems fine. Of course, it's too early to tell really.'

'No, that's good,' Sam said quickly. 'It makes everything easier.'

Sheelagh frowned. 'What do you mean?'

'Well, the abortion.'

It felt like the room suddenly silenced, even the buzzing of the radiator seemed to cease as the Irish PC stood. 'You automatically assume I'm getting rid of it.'

'It's a fair assumption! I mean, look at the circumstances.' Also getting to her feet, Sam refrained from approaching her girlfriend. 'It's the right thing to do.'

'Is it?'

'Of course it is. You have to think rationally here.'

After what seemed like an eternity, Sheelagh turned back. 'Rationality? Is that all this comes down to?'

'No, but... It helps to look at things objectively, you know that.'

'Right.' Sheelagh drew in a long breath before she finally made eye contact. 'I'm not having an abortion, Sam.'

For a moment she was sure she was hearing things wrongly. 'What?'

'I'm keeping my baby. And I won't apologise for it.'

Sam laughed derisively. 'You're joking. You can't even think about having this child, it's a ludicrous idea.'

'Says who?'

'Me! Sheelagh, you haven't thought this out, you can't have.'

'I've thought of nothing else for the last week!'

'It's been extended to a week now has it?' Sam shook her head to clear it. 'You can't have this baby.'

'Give me one good reason why not.'

'One? I could give you a dozen. Gabriel, for a start.'

'He's not a factor.'

'Not a fac..? Sheelagh, he's the father!'

'I don't see what that has to do with anything.'

'You're living in cloud-cuckoo land,' said Sam as she took one of Sheelagh's hands. 'Listen to me. That man raped you, I can't honestly believe you want a reminder of that.'

'I can't kill a child. It goes against everything I believe in.'

'You'd be doing it a favour.'

Sheelagh pulled away as if suddenly burnt. 'I don't believe you just said that.'

'Okay, I'm sorry,' Sam tried, reaching for the hand again. When that was rebuked she settled on an explanation. 'If you have this baby it'll be a constant reminder of what he did to you. Do you want that?'

'Of course I don't!'

'Well, then!'

'Sam,' Sheelagh began, motioning for them both to sit back down. 'You haven't lost a child. What happened to Niamh tore me to pieces, you can't imagine how I felt then.'

'No, I can't,' Sam said quietly.

'So an abortion is out of the question,' continued her girlfriend. 'It'd be like murdering the chance I never thought I'd have.'

'You're painting this as a good thing. The rape, everything.'

'Oh, I'm not. I detest Gabriel or whatever he's calling himself these days. You know that.'

'You're seeing this as a new start.'

'I thought it was supposed to be.'

'Yeah, you, me, Abi and the baby. That's the way it was supposed to be!'

Sheelagh was silent for a moment. 'The father of Abigail's baby is Hugh Wallis. He manipulated her from the outset, you've said that yourself.'

'The situations are completely different.'

'Are they? How?'

Unable to come up with a reasonable argument, Sam changed tack. 'What if Gabriel wanted contact somewhere down the line? And he would, you know that.'

'The courts wouldn't allow it.'

Sam stood up again, staring at a peculiar spot on the ceiling. 'Why bother telling me any of this, Sheelagh? Why not just turn up in nine months with a baby and have done with it?'

She felt Sheelagh also stand though no approach was made. 'I knew there were two ways you could react. You could've been supportive, worried but supportive, or you could've ended up like this. It was a test really.'

'And I failed because I saw the truth of the matter and I'm not looking at it through rose-tinted glasses.'

'What was the truth of the matter when you had Abigail, Sam?'

She turned back. 'Another completely different situation.'

'Really?' Sheelagh questioned. 'Glen Weston was a convicted murderer yet you had his child.'

'My relationship with Glen was consensual. Abi was conceived in what I thought was love.'

'And when it turned out to be based on a lie? You had her, Sam, despite what her father was.'

'I can't believe you're making comparisons. The circumstances were different and Abi... Well, she was my one chance for a child. I knew that.'

'So because I've already got kids I shouldn't worry about killing one more?'

'That's not what I'm saying!'

'No? Then explain to me what you are saying.'

Given the open opportunity she almost floundered. 'I don't think you'll be able to love this child.'

'I'm telling you I will.'

She swallowed. 'Okay. I don't think I'll be able to.'

Sheelagh looked away, tears glistening in her eyes. 'It's an innocent child.'

'It's the child of a monster.'

'It's my child!'

'That isn't enough! Every time I think about that night, when I remember you turning up on my doorstep in pieces, I want to rip his throat out. It might sound neanderthal but I want to protect you from it all. But when there's something growing inside of you as a sort of triumph for him, how can I?'

'It won't be like that.'

'It will, I don't need a psychic to tell me that. I'd hate this baby, Sheelagh, for all it represents. I'm not strong enough to do this.'

'If I can...'

'You're stronger than me!' Sam interrupted her. 'I've known that from the beginning! If I'd had to go through half the things you have I'd have given up a long time ago. You're an amazing woman, I've no chance of measuring up.'

'You're talking rubbish,' answered Sheelagh. 'You don't want to try.'

'Because it wouldn't work! I can see that.'

'So you're asking me to choose, is that it?'

Sam shook her head. 'I wouldn't do that. I don't want what we had to be diluted the way it would be if you were forced to spell it out.'

Sheelagh was the one to move forward this time, reaching out to caress her cheek. 'You're making this so much bigger than it has to be.'

'What did you expect me to say, Sheelagh? Truly, in your heart.'

The Irish woman smiled, though it was far form a happy one. 'I suppose I know you too well. I hoped I could persuade you it's the right thing.'

'I believe it is, for you.' Sam briefly closed her eyes against the gentleness of the fingers. 'But I can't be a part of it.'

'Sam, I love you.'

It was the first time the words had been uttered and for a moment she was swayed. Then the mental image of Gabriel holding Sheelagh which had been tormenting the back of her mind since the attack came to the fore. 'I love you too.'

Sheelagh nodded, she understood the tone. As the pair kissed for a final time Sam seriously considered giving it all up, she was so close to accepting everything. But doing that wasn't a solution, not a long-term one anyway. A year down the line and she'd be looking at a child she despised. It would be worse on everyone that way.

When they broke apart Sheelagh seemed eager to finish it quickly, probably because of those tears that were almost overflowing. 'You better get back to Abigail and Belinda. They'll need you.'

'Yeah, you're right. Well, bye, then.' Leaving the room she pulled the door shut behind her so as to avoid the temptation of either going or just looking back. Neither were viable options.