Light in the darkness

It rained cats and dogs. Typical british weather. Good that it was in the middle of the night and nobody had to go out. But there still was someone out there. He wandered around, nowhere to go. Once in a while he raised his head and let the rain drop on his face. His clothing was weird. He wore an unusual, dark-brown cloak, which was already soaked and sticking to the man's body. But the man didn't feel it. He felt wether the wetness nor the cold. He felt anything at all. Didn't want to feel. He walked through the empty streets of London, head bent down. Rain ran over his neck and his face. The drops made their way through dark eyebrows, down over his scars to jump from his nose. Some drops took their way over the soft curves of his lips and fell from his chin down to mother Earth.

Remus Lupin didn't recognise that the houses around him were less than before and that the streets got rougher. After eternity in darkness, suddenly light blinded him and he look up.

Hope's house.

If Remus would have allowed any feeling right now, he would have wondered how much his heart was bonded to her and that it always let his way to her. Before he understood he walked to her door and ringed the bell. When she opened and smiled at him, his heart started beating again.

"Remus! What happened?" Hope's smile was gone. She had realised the time and his condition.

Remus looked at her sadly.

"Sirius is dead."

Hope's eyes widened in shock and put her hand to her lips. But she recollected herself fast. Remus' look and his hanging shoulders gave her an idea of how much he had loved this man. And how alone he must feel now.

Hope stepped into the rain. Immediately her clothes were soaked and her hair stuck to her face. But she didn't care. Softly she put her hand on his cheek. The other one ran through his wet hair. Then she took him into his arms. She held him tight. Slowly, his arms closed around her and hugged her back. The light of her house fell on them while they were standing in the rain, clung to each other. Remus felt Hope's warm body and realised how cold he was. He absorbed her warmth. As always, she was his saving anchor, the light in the darkness. He felt her hand in his hair, her breath against his neck.

"Come in", she whispered in his ear. He nearly heard her through the hard rain. Remus just nodded. Hope took his hand and let him inside. As soon as he couldn't feel her warmth anymore, pictures rushed through his head: Bellatrix' ugly grin, the green flash, Sirius' suprised face, the fall through the veil. Heheard Harry's desperate scream...

Remus was so lost in these pictures that he didn't notewhen Hope removed his cloak and let him into the living room. He just saw Sirius. Casually he noted that she left him. Due to her absence he drowned again into his mourning.

He was the last Marauder. All his friends were dead now. He was alone...He should cry. For Sirius, his best friend. His last friend. But...he couldn't. He couldn't.

A hot cup was pressed into his hands. He looked up into Hope's beautiful face. Sadness shone through her eyes. And compassion. Her cold hand stroke his arm and she tried to smile. She sat down next to him and leaned against his knee. But she didn't do anything else. She didn't say such stupid things like "I'm sorry" or "It's okay". She just sat there, let him know he wasn't alone. And Remus was grateful for that.

They sat there for a long time, Remus lost in his dark thoughts, sometimes sipping on his tea andHope stroking his leg. Just Hope's sneeze could make Remus aware of that they were still in wet clothes. If he stayed any longer, he would make her sick. So he stood up and wanted to leave. As he wanted to grab his cloak, Hope's hand stopped him. The other one laid the cloak back onto the chair. She didn't spoke a word, but her eyes said everything: She didn't want to teve him alone, she wanted to be with him, wanted to comfort him. And something in the deep blackness told him that she could. So he didn't resist when she pulled him up the stairs, into her bedroom. He let her strip off his coat and open the buttons of his chemise. He could feel Hope's hot breath on his bare chest as she removed it. As she opened his belt, her cheeks blushed a little. He should really doff his clothes by himself. But at the moment, he just didn't care about anything.

Hope removed all his clothes and pushed him down on the bed. She put the blanket over him. Remus watched as she stripped off her clothes. Her body was so beautiful, but he couldn't adore it as he should at the moment...

Hope laid down next to him. They both laid close together. Hope looked at him for a while. She was holding his hand.

"You should let it out", she whispered suddenly.

"What?" Remus voice sounded hoarse. He hadn't spoke for some hours.

"Your feelings, Remus. Sadness. Desperation. Anger...Cry. Scream. Break something...otherwise it will destroy you from the inside."

Remus looked down. "I can't."

Hope let her finger run over the scar in his face. "Inner wounds don't heal as fast as these. If yu don't combat them, they will rip open again and again...I know."

Remus took Hope's hand and put it to his lips. He explored his inside for anyfeelings...

"I don't feel anything."

Hope pulled him close to her. "I'm here, love. Try to sleep."

Remus relaxed in her arms. Her heartbeat made him sleepy after a while. Her hands were stroking his hair and his back, just like he liked it...

He dreamed of Sirius. In this dream he reexperienced all the great adventures he had with the Marauders: Their first meeting and all their countless pranks...

As the light from the moon fell into his eyes, Remus woke up. He looked to the side. Hope was sleeping peacefully. Remus sat up and put his head into his hands. A tear fell on his leg. And another. He finally cried. He cried for his friend, for all the friends he had lost. He cried so hard that he hardly could breath.

Suddenly a blanket was wrapped around him and warm arms closed around his stomach.

Hope.

She pressed against his back and laid her head on his shoulder. She held him tight while he was crying. Although her presence comforted him, he needed quite a while to stop shedding tears. Hope held him...

Long time after Remus' tears ran dry, he and Hope sat on the bed in silence. Just as Remus thought that Hope must have fallen asleep, she started placing little kisses on his shoulder, wandering up to his neck.

"It will hurt for a long time. But you will find him again. You will be friends again."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, Remus. I am."

"Thanks, Hope." Remus turned his head and kissed her softly.

"Let's sleep," Hope whispered against his lips.

As they laid down, Hope in his arms, Remus said goodbye to his friend. He knew that it wasn't goodbye forever. He fell asleep with a smile on his lips and his future in his arms.