Chapter 6

I ripped off the wet mask off my face and smiled instantly. The cold wind blew at me, chilling my face to the bone and making me wince.

"You okey?" Jason asked when he took off his mask and put up with the same harsh treatment of the wind. "Damn, it's cold."

"Yeah it is." I glanced up at the dark grey sky and the rain clouds that threatened. "Let's go inside."

I figured that we could survive this if we let the boat wait out the storm rather then try to maneuver it in a bad direction. Once we were inside, we were greeted by bright lights of the yellow lamps and the warmth of the inside. Of course, it wasn't nearly as warm as I had wanted it to be.

"So what did you see down there," I asked him as I watched him set the coffee.

"The boat is definitely Sam's, I saw the name." We had arranged it that I took the back of the boat while he took the front. "And I didn't see any dead bodies laying around. How about you?"

"No dead bodies and a missing lifeboat."

He raised an eye brow asking me a silent question. I knew what he was thinking. I could tell.

"Yeah, it looks like the boat started sinking and so she got the lifeboat and started fighting to survive."

He gave me a knowing look. The same type of look he had on his face when I had salvaged the soiled ring or when he told me that I might be Sam. "How did you know I was thinking about that?"

"I guess I could read your mind."

"No one can read my mind, except for Sam."

Okey, so the possibility was large and the name did have a nice ring to it. And I did enjoy spending time with Jason Morgan. But I still needed to be sure. I still needed to remember. "Suppose you're right, and that I am Sam. What then? How come I couldn't remember? Obviously, if our love was so grand I'd be able to remember everything after seeing you."

"Maybe it doesn't work that way." He came towards me and grabbed my arm softly. Electric heat shifted though my body at the tenderness of his masculine touch. My knees grew weak to the touch. It's like I had felt the touch before, it's like I've been engulfed in his embraces and love.

"Then what could make me remember?" My voice trembled as I asked. And I could feel my lower lip shake slightly. I was vulnerable, I realized.

"I don't know. Maybe you should do what feels natural and the memories will come naturally rather then trying to force them."

That did sound logical. Maybe I was forcing myself to remember and therefore locking my memories inside, I could give this technique a chance. What felt natural was for me to slowly close my eyes and to make my mind as readable as it could get.

"Are you sure?" he asked in a hoarse and sexy manner.

I nodded slightly as I concentrated to stop my bottom lip from trembling, but it was no use. I realized it was trembling because of the anticipation and the hunger. The hunger to feel whole for the first time in my life. The hunger to remember. The hunger to have what I might have lost. Or was it a foolish hunger that belonged to Sam and not to me?

I doubted it. The more time I've spend trying to find Sam the more I was convince that I was her. So for the hell of remembering, I decided to put all the past and all of Sam behind me and to try to live in the moment. If I could feel the moment, maybe the past will come back? And maybe Sam will be found, in me.

I felt a liquid brush against my bottom lip and it stopped trembling instantly. I could feel his breathing on my skin, and it felt natural. It felt right. I parted my lips slowly and let him enter, and he did. His tongue swayed inside my mouth and danced hungrily. Naturally. Knowingly. He felt familiar.

But still no visions of the past danced upon me. No tears of something that had been tear worthy long ago. No smiles for a lost memory from childhood. Nothing. I felt empty inside.

Outside, I could hear the rain falling like cats and dogs. It was loud, and pounding, and threatening.

I felt alone. Was that how Sam felt when she was on the sinking boat? But why can't I remember? Why can't I remember her getting on the lifeboat? Why can't I remember me getting on the lifeboat? All I could feel was the desperation. The desperation of the sinking boat. But I can't remember, I could just feel. It was like an instinct. Just like the knowledge of guns and boats. It wasn't a memory.

"You okey?" he asked when he pulled away.

I opened my eyes and saw him stare down at me lovingly. "I don't remember anything."

"You shouldn't push it." He strocked my cheek with his hand and I melted into his touch. "The good news is you're definitely Sam. You feel the same. You kiss the same. You even taste the same."

That was good to know. When I couldn't be sure, I expected him to be sure.

Maybe I needed more. Something more to fill me in order to make me remember. I glanced up at him.

"Are you sure?"

"How do you know what I'm thinking?"

His arms engulfed me and he brought me to his chest where I could feel his heart beating like lightning under his shirt. "I've always been able to read you. I never told you that, but I was always able to figure out what you were thinking before you would tell me. We have a special type of bond."

I glanced up at him and realized he was looking down at me. We were close. Really close. I got on my toes and my lips brushed against him for a moment. After the silent kiss I brought my lips to his earlobe and playfully bit it. "Can you tell what I'm thinking now?"

"Loud and clear."

"Then do what I need to you do," I said, and as I said it I felt his erection spring to life and rub against my stomach. Damn, I was short, I realized. And he was hard. Hard as hell. I was left to wonder what he would feel like inside me. The thought itself made my nipples spring to life and get hard and press against my wet dive gear.

His hand traveled down my back and I felt a chill and looseness of the dive gear. I realized he was unzipping me. So I did the same, I unzipped him.

Next thing I knew, we were both on the cold floor but the heat in both of us was hot enough to cause an inferno. I felt wet inside. And I wanted him. He was making me wait, however. Teasingly, his fingers outlined my clit. I wanted him to enter. I could have started begging for it, but I was speechless as his touch felt so damn familiar in an unfamiliar word. But still on memories. Only instinct.

"You want me?" he asked as the tip of his tongue dampened my left nipple and send an erotic sensation through my body.

"Yes, yes, yes." I arched up my back so I could feet the erotic sensations fill me.

"How bad do you want me?" he asked and did the same to the right nipple.

I put my hands on his hair and pulled it slightly to make him look up at me. "I NEED you."

"I could tell," he said as he dove low and his tongue met my clit and I felt like I get getting an orgasm in advance. Truthfully, I didn't know if I ever had an orgasm before. Since I lost my memory I haven't had sex with anyone. And now I was starving for it.

"Enter me, damn it." I hadn't known I was that desperate until the words had slipped out of my mouth. I arched my back again and this time sat up. He sat up too and stared down at my eyes. My right hand extended and I touched his hard erection. Running my fingers though it, I kept my eyes on his. He closed his eyes and in took a deep shaky breath. I slowed my speed. "Don't you want me?"

"Hell yes." He put his hands on my waste and pushed me down against the floor. After positioning himself on top of me, he slowly started sliding in.

His large penis reached my folds and they opened out to greet him. My walls got scratched as he slowly dipped. And when he was in, I could feel myself engulf him, all of him, and noises were coming out of my mouth.

He started sliding out just as slowly, and I could feel my walls get rubbed like a genie bottle. And then he slid in again, this time fast and hard. My walls got scratched and expanded. I engulfed him again lovingly. And he was deep inside me. I screamed as pleasure shot though me like a bullet.

The process repeated. Every time there was more intensity. Every time there was more lust and love. And every time it felt better and better.

And then it came. It started in my clit like a bunch of butterflies being released inside my body. Their wings fluttered every inch of my body from head to toe. I arched up my back and my vision got blurry as I screamed out sounds of pleasure and grabbed him hard with my hands. Damn, that was some orgasm.

And then I felt him. It felt like a waterfall erupting and flowing inside of me. His sperm traveled into my body and I felt it all.

Our eyes met, he was still inside me and he looked socked.

"I'm sorry," he mouthed out but there was no noise.

And as if someone else had taken over me, I breathlessly arched myself up to his level and wrapped my arms around his neck. My lips and his collided. I realized that he had released inside of me, and I didn't really care. Was that what Sam used to do? Was that what I used to do?