Chapter 6:

Random Guest Appearances

What? This isn't a scam to encourage people to become obsessive reviewers! NO! I would never dream of doing something like this for that soul purpose! How could you say that? Now with every three reviews you get your fourth free of charge. Not that there was any price to review in the first place but it's still a good idea. I would never do something like that…I'm not very convincing am I?

Clark Cradic: Yes well exploiting cliff hangers is a good thing. Especially since you know that the suspense will be completely ruined in my next chapter because I have always something insanely random come to snap all of the tension.

(no really he didn't leave a name) excellent. Another follower of the penguins. Make three human sacrifices to them a month and you shall forever live a wonderful life, but never incur the penguins wrath. They have little pointy beaks of d00m. d00m is fuuuuunnnnnnn.

The One True Koneko: Meh, there are many things more hectic. A room full of grunts after you fire one shot into the air, a shop full of grunts after you fire a shot in the air, a planet full of grunts when you fire a shot into the….air….their just realized that whenever I think of hectic I think of grunts running around screaming for lives. How odd.

Mister Frodo: "LOL. Thanks for all of the reviews. If you had submitted those a week earlier then you would be in this chapter to. Oh well I'm more than sure I will have more random appearances like this. If you keep reviewing you will be in the future ones.

peirs50: It's not me it's Sarge. He's the one who tries to torture Griff. I am simply innocently coming up with new ways for him to do that.

Last time on Red vs Blue…

Griff was aiming his gun at Karin. Simmons was aiming his at Church. Sarge is aiming his at Caboose. Donut is down on the ground. Lopez's head was knocked somewhere far away by one of the explosions and O'Malley was unconscious. Tex was aiming her gun at Sarge. Karin wants to get to Caboose, and she needs to save Tucker. Church is doing nothing. Tucker is going into spasms and Sheila is not doing anything.

In case you were wondering. The author simply used cut and paste from the last chapter in order to avoid writing that entire thing again.

Karin: "Look, just let me help Tucker. Then I will give you the Oreo and then you let me tend to Caboose."

Griff: "Don't trust her Sarge. She probably has a diabolical trick up her sleeve."

Sarge: "If Griff says no, than I am more than sure that the answer is yes."

Griff: "I have to stop walking into that."

Sarge: "You can help Tucker, but if you make even one false move, I'm pulling the trigger on Caboose."

Tex: "And if you do that then I shoot you."

Simmons: "And then I shoot Church."

Karin: And then I…kill Griff."

Sarge: "That sounds like a good idea. Can we skip to the part that you kill Griff."

Griff: "Just go already your friend is going into spasms."

Sheila: "Are you sure I shouldn't do anything Church."

Church: "It's a stand still. Both sides will loose if someone shoots."

Karin walked over to Tucker.

Karin: "Hm…" Karin placed her left hand gently on Tucker's forehead, and with her right hand slammed the hammer into his head."

Simmons: "Are you sure you know what your doing?"

Karin then took out a pill and shoved it down Tuckers throat.

Griff: "Wait can't you kill him doing that?"

Karin stared at Tucker for a second analyzing the situation. She then nodded slowly and delivered a sharp blow to Tucker's knee cap with her hammer.

Karin: "His disease is caused by bones I broke and dislocated in my brutal attacks. I simply had to fix them."

Church: "But you hit his knee. I thought you only attacked his head."

Karin: Yes. I said I dislocated some of his bones right?"

Church: "…wow…"

Sarge: "Now hand us the Oreo."

Karin: "Just one more thing." Karin grabbed a cell phone that had been lying beside Tucker for some unknown reason.

Griff aimed his gun at her head.

Griff: "HEY! What are you trying to pull?"

Karin: "MWUAHHAHA It is over now! I shall call the author to aid me." Karin dialed a random number.

Simmons: "Um Sarge shouldn't we shoot her."

Sarge: "Normally yes but I'm interested in what will happen if she contacts the author."

Simmons: "So you would let the author destroy us with his fiery wrath of burning things?"

Sarge: "Course not. I would let him kill Griff."

The phone stopped ringing and someone on the other end picked up.

Person: "Hello?"

Karin: "Hello is this the author Duo Jagan?"

Clark Cradic: "No this is one of his reviewers. Wait who are you?"

Karin: "IT'S ME! Karin! Technically I am your creation."

Clark Cradic: "Um…first of all how did you get this number. And how are you calling me?"

Karin: "I…don't…know."

Clark Cradic: "And what exactly can I do?"

Karin: "Send a pair of hunters down in a drop ship!"

Clark Cradic: "But only the author can…"

Karin: "I SAID SEND TWO HUNTERS IN A DROP SHIP!"

Clark Cradic: "...um…"

A drop ship with two hunters flew down from the sky.

Karin: "Thank you!"

Clark Cradic: "But I didn't do anything."

Karin: "Say your welcome if you want to live another day."

Clark Cradic: "Are you really suppose to be threatening me?"

Karin: "Probably not."

The drop ship touched down.

Church: "Um…aren't they suppose to be attacking us?"

One True Konenko: "Hey what's going on?"

Church looked back to see yet another reviewer.

Church: "WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM!"

One True Koneko: "I…don't…know."

Karin: "Huh?"

Church: "Oh great now people are popping up out of no where! This is just PERFECT! Wait this is a good thing. You can help us right?"

One True Koneko: "Sure." The reviewer walked over to Donut's unconscious body and started prodding it with a stick.

Church: "How exactly does this help?"

One True Koneko: "I'm not sure but chances are that at least one positive result will come from this."

Simmons: "Wait why aren't the hunters attacking."

Karin: "Hey why aren't you making your hunters attack?"

Clark Cradic: "I have no control over what these hunters do!"

Karin: "Fine! I'm calling the author!" Karin pressed the disconnect button.

Suddenly something fell down from the heavens, and landed on a rock.

Clark Cradic: "Ow…how did I get here?"

Karin: "What the hell kind of phone is this?"

Griff: "Am I the only one here who is just a BIT disturbed."

Tex: "Am I the only one here who doesn't know who these people are?"

Simmons: "These are the reviewers. Haven't you been paying any attention?"

Tex: "Obviously no."

Karin dialed the phone again.

Person: "Hello?"

Karin: "Is THIS Duo Jagan?"

Person: "No."

Karin: "Oh…"

Person: "…"

Karin: "Who are you?"

CptshaneSchofield: "CptshaneSchofield."

Karin: "Oh. I don't suppose you could do anything to help me in this current predicament?"

CptshaneSchofield: "Nope."

Karin: "Do you even know who I am?"

CptshaneSchofield: "Nope."

Karin: "I'm Karin!"

CptshaneSchofield: "How did you get this number?"

Karin: "I KEEP TELLING YOU I DON'T KNOW!"

CptshaneSchofield: "Ok then…"

Karin: "Can so say a single sentence with more than six words?"

CptshaneSchofield: "Let me get back to you on that."

Karin: "Whatever bye."

Karin pressed the disconnect button

Everyone: "NO!"

Another object fell from the heavens. This time it was a potato.

Karin: "…ok…"

Then CptshaneSchofield popped out of a plot hole.

Clark Cradic: "Wait why does he get to come out of a plot hole while I fall from one hundred feet above the ground?"

CptshaneSchofield: "I have no idea but I am not complaining."

Clark Cradic: "I'm the BEST reviewer. No offense to you guys. Why does he make ME land on a rock?"

A large sum of money randomly dropped out of the sky and landed in Clark Cradic's arms.

Clark Cradic: "….ok never mind then."

The One True Koneko walked over to the two other reviewers.

The One True Koneko: "I have determined that Donut is unconscious."

Griff: "Took you long enough."

The One True Koneko: "Sadly, my ability to warp dimensions unintentionally has left me slightly insane. But that just means I fit right in."

Griff: "Did she just insult me?"

Simmons: "Wouldn't be the first time. You should be use to it right now."

The One True Koneko: "I wasn't TRYING to insult him. It was completely unintentional."

Karin: "That's great and all but now that you three are here can you help me?"

Clark Cradic: "Oh right. HUNTERS ATTACK!...or…something…what are we doing here again?"

Hunter: "\/\/3 P0\/\/\/Z0R j00!"

Sarge: "GRIFF! HOLD THEM OFF!"

Griff: "Do you really think that I can do any…" Griff was cut off as a hunter threw him into the air.

Hunter: "7#!5 #U/\/\4/\/ \/\/0lll) /\/\4l 3 4 /\! 3 845l 37 8411."

Hunter 2: "j4# 1375 P14j 47 #."

The two hunters threw Griff back and forth.

Griff: "Getting…nauseous…why don't they just kill me?"

Clark Cradic: "Somehow I envisioned more wide spread destruction."

The hunters got tired and took a nap.

The One True Koneko: "Don't worry I can cause more wide spread disaster."

An Army of Jackles randomly appeared out of a plot hole.

Sarge: "GRIFF! Now use yourself as a shield against those Jackles."

Simmons: "Actually Sarge I think I have a solution that will get us out of here quickly."

Simmons threw several packets of sugar into the midst of the Jackles. Who lunged at the sugar, killing each other as they went.

One True Koneko: "Hey that's not fair. What can you do Schofield?"

CptshaneSchofield: "Ahem…Ha Ha."

What looked like four giant letters appeared in the sky. The letters consisted of two H's and to A's. (If you looked at his reviews you would understand)

The letters crashed down at Blood Gulch, but sadly the letters were so big that all of blood Gulch fit inside the second A.

Clark Cradic: "I don't suppose anyone would care to explain how we spontaneously became able to summon armies of jackles, command hunters, and make giant letters of doom appear in the sky?"

The One True Koneko: "I have no idea but quite frankly I don't care as long as I can make a large amount of jackles appear out of no where.

Griff: "That's it! I'm destroying the phone! Where did you get that anyways?"

Karin: "I found it lying on the ground."

Griff: "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to pick up magic phones lying in the middle of the canyon."

Karin: "No just, brush your teeth at night, don't take candy from strangers unless it's liquorish, a hammer a day keeps the pervert away, and always make sure that your grenade has a pin in it."

Griff: "Yah I learned that last one the hard way."

Church: "Just destroy the phone! She may get someone who actually helps!"

Karin: "Fine…"

Voice: "Don't do it!"

ANOTHER person or thing descended from the heavens…and landed on her head. I guess it's a person after all.

Sanzoeclipsekuramaarehot: "STOP RIGHT THERE!"

Everyone gasped.

Tex: "Who are you."

Sanzoeclipsekuramaarehot: "I am Sanzoeclipsekuramaarehot. But you can call me Sekah."

Church: "Why Sekah?"

Sanzoeclipsekuramaarehot: "SanzoEclipseKuramaAreHot."

Church: "Yes we know your name but why should we call you Sekah?"

Sekah: "SanzoEclipseKuramaAreHot."

Sarge: "I don't get it."

Sekah: "Oh screw it. Look here's the deal. This chapter has three points. To give the readers a little gap of time between chapter five and the last chapter, to reward the best reviewers with a short appearance in this fic...although it's not as SHORT as Duo-Chan suggested." Sekah glared up menacingly at wherever the author was.

Church: "Duo…Chan?"

Church was about to explode into laughter but an ominous group of storm clouds forming right above him made him think better of it.

Sekah: "And finally the last point was to make a big deal about the fact that Duo's fics…finally…have another Beta Tester!"

The following silence seemed to suggest that no one cared.

Sekah: "…namely me."

More silence

Sekah: "And I will actually focus on Duo's horrible grammar."

Sarge: "OMG!"

Church: "OMG!"

Griff: "OH MY GOD!"

Karin: "OMG!"

Caboose: "GOMZ!"

Tex: "OMG!"

Simmons: "OMG!"

Clark Cradic: "OMG!"

The One True Koneko: "OMG!"

CptshaneSchofield: "OMG!"

Anyone who the author forgot about who isn't unconscious: "OMG!"

Karin: "Wait isn't Caboose suppose to be unconscious?"

Caboose: "O..M…L…P…What was it again?"

Sekah: "Yah. Remember how in chapter 3 Duo kept muttering about how his best friend who happens to be a yaoi fan girl?"

Everyone: "Yes."

Sekah: "Ta da!"

Silence………………………………………

Sekah: "As in…I'm the yaoi fan girl friend."

Everyone: "oooohhhh….."

Sekah: "Yah. Anyways now that I have FINALLY read Duo's fics, I can kill him for his bad grammar."

Sarge: "What about Penguin God."

Sekah: "He is still a beta reader it's just now there's also a beta reader who will actually force Duo to write better than a blind monkey."

Does a blind monkey really have better grammar than a normal monkey?

Sekah: "I have no Idea."

Yah the point of these last three pages now is that Sekah here may beta read my future chapters. No absolute guaranties. The way it will work is as normal I will write my fics, have Penguin God read them, recommend Idea's and laugh. Then I will try to update before Sekah can kill me for…I mean…um…LOOK A DISTRACTION!

Sekah: "Now if you will excuse me my role in this chapter is over." Sekah looked over at the reviewers.

Sekah: "You guy should go to."

CptshaneSchofield: "We have no idea how to get back."

Sekah: "There should be a button on that cell phone that says return reviewers and Sekah to wherever they came from."

Karin looked at the phone.

Karin: "Wow I can't believe that I didn't notice that earlier."

Karin pressed the button and the three reviewers, and Sekah all disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Karin: "Whatever." Karin threw the phone over to the I-pod with bullet holes in it currently under a giant sign labeled PLOT DEVICES.

Tex: "Then what is the point of this chapter?"

Griff: "Oh right! Give us the quadruple stuffed mega Oreo OR ELSE!"

Karin: "Fine."

Karin took out her hammer, and pulled out the bottom of the handle.

Griff: "I can't believe I didn't look there sooner."

Karin pulled out THE Oreo.

Griff: "Now hand it over to me before anything else random could happen that would stop me from getting it."

A really large group of Religious fanatics charged down to blue base.

Griff: "IT'S TOO LATE!"

Religious fanatic 1: "DAMN IT! The holy reviewers have already left! We can no longer worship them!"

Religious fanatic 2: "Wait what is that?"

The Religious fanatics looked at the Oreo.

Religious fanatic: 1 "THE OREO! Long have we searched for THE Oreo. Oreo's are holy symbols. Their symmetrical crunchy outside, encasing the holy middle. Their contrast of black and white, and light and dark are that which only a god could bestow. And alas we have found THE Oreo. We must worship it!"

Religious Fanatic 3: "I thought we worshiped the flag."

Religious Fanatic 1: "WE CAN WORSHIP MORE THAN ONE INANIMATE OBJECT IF WE WANT!"

Griff lunged at the Oreo but Karin swiftly hit Griff with her hammer. The religious fanatics charged, and O'Malley and Donut woke up due to the loud noise.

Religious Fanatic 1: "CHARGE!"

Griff: "Oh no not another cliff hanger! PLEASE NOT ANOTHER CLIFF HANGER PLE

HAHA! Yes another Cliff hanger. Believe it or not I do this unintentionally. Anyways yes this chapter was ALMOST pointless but I wouldn't have enough room to properly introduce Sekah, make the fanatics show up, AND be able to do all of that other stuff. Anyways the conclusion to the fic is next chapter and YES there will be another fic after that and NO I'm not taking idea's for this one I already have it planned out. R&R.