Chapter Six: Distracted
Kagome needed more time. Even Inuyasha had agreed for once, stating that she was "fighting distracted" before shipping her down the well to recover. She lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling blankly. The last trip into the past had been the worst yet in more ways than one. She winced and moved her hand slowly over the bandage that graced her side. "Looks like you're going to have some friends," she said out loud as she continued trailing her fingers downwards and traced over the small, irregular scar at her side. It was the visible reminder that she, once, had been the bearer of the Jewel of the Four Souls and not Naraku. Granted, Naraku didn't have every last piece just yet; there was still Kouga, Kohaku and of course the lonely, single shard encased in the tiny glass jar around her neck. That Naraku would complete the jewel, however, was a foregone conclusion in Kagome's mind. The only question left was the matter of time. At least that much was still uncertain; yet despite the fact that it was the one unknown left in the equation, Kagome also knew it wouldn't be enough; it would never be enough.
"Kagome, honey, do you need anything?" Her mother's loud question carried upwards from the bottom of the stairs, and Kagome let a tired smile pass across her face.
"No Mama, I'm good!" she called back, wincing as her side twitched spasmodically from the effort of yelling. Angrily, she stabbed her finger into the gauze wrapped around her torso and hissed as a spike of pain answered her touch. The bandages bloomed into an ugly pinkish red as her less-than-gentle prodding allowed blood to seep through and saturate the gauze. "Stupid cut," she said after a moment, giving up her inspection and dropping her head back onto her pillow. She sighed softly and closed her eyes, thinking about all of the classes she was missing. The summer semester was drawing to a close, and Kagome could feel her chances for a successful 'graduation' at the end of the term coming to an end with it. "Today was the last class, too," Kagome grumbled, trying to keep her mind focused on the content of the course she was currently missing and not its instructor.
It was impossible, of course; the real reason for Kagome's irritation was that she was passing away what was quite possibly the last of her precious few chances to see Professor Michifusa again in her room. True to Sesshoumaru's word, he had not seemed to remember their meeting at all when she next saw him again. By then, he was completely human and completely oblivious of the secrets they had shared. The only difference she noticed in his behaviour was that the intensity and frequency of his dissecting glares was greatly diminished. It was almost disappointing; now that she had finally achieved the status of a normal student in the class, she no longer wanted it. In a mixture of girlish fantasy and wishful thinking, Kagome had hoped that her presence alone would be somehow special enough to draw out the real Sesshoumaru despite her lack of jewel shards. Two weeks without even a hint of change in Michifusa, however, had effectively managed to crush her expectations. Nothing like a little cold, harsh reality to take the wind out of your sails, Kagome thought with bitter disappointment.
"Why am I torturing myself like this?" Kagome asked herself wearily; it wasn't the first time she had pondered the question. "It's not like I want to see him again. You'd have to be crazy to want to see him again." Her side pulsed in agreement. Definitely crazy, she thought with a wince. Even if it was possible to reawaken Sesshoumaru, she would first have to overcome the problem of cornering Michifusa on a new moon evening now that they no longer even had the excuse of the history course to bind them together. Her hands strayed to the jar around her neck, and disappointment rose in her throat like bile. Or perhaps it really was bile, considering that her side had begun to throb once more where she had disturbed her injury. Either way, Kagome felt she deserved it; Sesshoumaru had indicated that it was mostly a matter of chance and luck that he had been awakened by the shards that she always carried with her. Now that she had been careless enough to lose all but one of the jewel fragments in her possession to Naraku, the planets would probably have to align before she could awaken him again. If she could awaken him again. If she could even see him or his alternate human personality, considering that she was supposed to be bedridden for the next week due to her feudal-era vivisection.
Kagome fought against the depressive funk she could feel herself sinking into as she stared at the cracks in the ceiling of her bedroom. Hunting down the remaining fragments had become fast, furious and completely demoralizing as Naraku trumped them at every turn; coming back exhausted and woefully unprepared for her fast-approaching exams didn't help her relax. The hardest blow of all, however, was being ignored by Michifusa. Drawing out Sesshoumaru's answers to her questions about the past should have satiated her curiosity; instead, it left a yawning gap that had her scrambling desperately for a reason to come into contact with him. It was that same desperation that had nearly killed her. Kagome's hand strayed back to her side and her eyes fluttered shut.
"It's almost embarrassing," she murmured to herself, trying transform her disappointment into shame. It didn't work; she didn't regret giving herself the injury even if it had proved the futility of her efforts. To live without even trying would have been worse. Icy amber eyes teased her memory, and she blinked back the hot tears that rose unexpectedly under her eyelids. Maybe not worse after all, she thought to herself. Physical pain was incidental and would pass; knowing the truth brought a much sharper, lasting hurt with it.
They had been travelling back towards the Bone-Eater's Well; despite their run-in with Naraku, despite the loss of their jewel splinters, despite the impending sense of doom that shrouded their every movement with tense anticipation, they were making the journey that would return Kagome to her own world. She had insisted upon it; there was nothing to be done, as she knew the game was in Naraku's hands. Her fatalism hadn't sat well with the others, but in the end it came down to practicality; there was nothing else to do but wait. And so she had insisted that she return to her time to complete her studies, despite all that had happened.
Inuyasha had been the first to notice something was amiss and had ordered their small band to halt. And then it had happened in the blink of an eye; he was there, as breathtakingly beautiful and untouchable as she remembered him. It was about the shards, Kagome remembered faintly; he had been annoyed that they had lost the remainder of their jewel shards. Naraku must have had another parley with Sesshoumaru; whatever had happened, it had bothered him enough to meet with Inuyasha. All told, it had gone rather well; Inuyasha had refrained from drawing out his sword and attempting to sever his half-brother's other arm, and in return Sesshoumaru had allowed them to live. Kagome thought it was pretty generous on his part, considering how obviously disgusted he was with their ability to keep their jewel fragments away from Naraku's clutches. They had come to an uncomfortable understanding; they would face Naraku together. And it would have ended there, if Kagome had been able to quash the small spark of hope and desperation that had risen in her breast as he turned to leave.
"I'm so stupid," Kagome sighed, bringing her hands back to her side and opening her eyes. She couldn't see the ceiling anymore; her vision was filled with the expression on his face as she dared to speak to him. Incredulity. Annoyance at her unwarranted familiarity. And a bored disgust that a mere human would dare to approach him. Kagome had let the anchor of time slip once again, confusing his beautiful, impassive face with the one that had needed her, the one that understood her. The Sesshoumaru that answered her was the real Sesshoumaru, the demon of the past tense. Once again, he had proved to be an excellent teacher; despite the warnings of her own friends, he himself had been the one to remind her that the flow of time was linear.
"You are the one who surrendered the shards to Naraku?" he had asked, blatantly ignoring her attempt to bridge the gap between them. It was more of a rhetorical question, Kagome knew now; he had wanted her confirmation so as to be certain that his actions were warranted. Sesshoumaru might have disliked humans, but waste irked him much more deeply. Her slight nod gave him not only the confirmation he was waiting for but also her unknowing permission to begin his instruction. He hadn't even needed to use words; as she collapsed onto the ground, still too shocked to completely feel the pain blossoming against her stomach, Kagome remembered vaguely hoping that she hadn't upset the fragile truce the brothers had so tenuously established just moments ago. From the look on Inuyasha's face as he chased Sesshoumaru away, however, her hopes were more than likely misplaced. Her little escapade had, at least, ensured that her final week of exams would be uninterrupted, if a little more painful than usual.
"I should've known he wouldn't be my Sesshoumaru," Kagome chided herself. As the thought completed itself, she finally did succeed in bringing a blush of shame to colour her cheeks. Not for confronting Sesshoumaru in the feudal era, nor for foolishly underestimating the toll five hundred years of humanity would have on his personality; this regret was caused by understanding the full scope of the error of her assumption. He never was mine. Ever. And yet, even knowing of the gulf that was between them, its borders now clearly defined as the jagged slashes across her side, she still needed to see him again. I wonder if this is how drug addicts feel.
Trying to turn her thoughts down slightly less defeatist pathways, Kagome thought about their current impasse with Naraku. Which wasn't doing much for improving her mood, but knowing that he would eventually be defeated did lift her spirits slightly. "The worst demons always seem to come out of the human heart," Kagome noted. Her spirits sank as she wrestled with the problem of allowing him to complete the jewel and preventing any more deaths from occurring. Death and the fate of the Jewel of the Four Souls always seemed to be irrevocably intertwined around each other. A soft knock at her bedroom door was a welcome interruption to Kagome's musing, and she looked up to find her mother standing in the doorway, holding a steaming bowl of broth on a tray.
"I brought you something to eat, Kagome," she said with a knowing smile as she entered the room, busily setting the tray onto the nightstand next to Kagome's bed. She seated herself on the edge of mattress and in typical motherly fashion, laid her hand across Kagome's forehead.
"Mama! I'm fine, really, I don't even have a fever!" Kagome protested weakly. "I thought I told you I didn't need anything," she added, eyeing the bowl of broth. Her stomach decided to make its presence known with a loud rumble, and Kagome sighed in defeat.
"Maybe so, but you really should eat something to keep your strength up if you want to heal quickly. A body that's been injured needs all the help it can get," her mother chided with a knowing smile as she pressed the bowl and spoon into Kagome's hands. The same sunny smile that Kagome had inherited faltered slightly as she regarded her daughter with slight worry. "Besides, I didn't want to leave you alone up here for too long."
Kagome paused, the spoon only making the journey halfway to her mouth before falling back into the bowl. She looked at her mother, really looked at her for the first time in a very long while. Short, wavy black hair ringed her heart-shaped face, and the first signs of age were just beginning to line her eyes. Worry, however, had deepened them, etching them prematurely into her mother's gentle face. Kagome looked down at her broth, wondering when it was that her mother had started to grow old, and was surprised to find that the answer had started three years ago. Nothing had changed outwardly; her mother was still all smiles, encouragement and passive acceptance of almost every request and piece of news Kagome had brought with her over the years. But those tiny lines sprinkled around the edge of her eyes and lips, those gave away volumes more than her sympathetic smiles ever had. Did I put those lines there, Mama? she wanted to ask. Instead, all she managed was a soft "Oh?"
"You've always been very sensitive, honey," Mrs. Higurashi said softly. "I know you've been under quite a lot of stress these last few weeks, but it's more than just your exams, isn't it? Something is worrying you."
Unable to meet her mother's eyes, Kagome settled for swirling tiny patterns into the surface of the broth with her spoon. "We lost almost all of our jewel shards last time," she said softly. "It was partially my fault." That much was true, but Kagome could already tell her mother didn't believe her explanation for one minute.
"Kagome," she began carefully, "you know you can tell me anything. Anything at all." She paused with a small, hopeful expression on her face, but Kagome refused to fill the silence. "It's not just your quest in the past that's bothering you," she tried again, being unusually direct for once. That captured Kagome's attention, who snapped her eyes to her mother's face.
Oh Mama… Kagome thought, suddenly wishing she was six years old again, the trusting and innocent child who could run into her mother's arms and chatter happily about anything on her mind. Those days were long gone, however, and the eighteen-year-old Kagome wasn't strong enough to break down the barriers that had built up between them over the years. She gave her mother a meek smile, grateful for the effort, but knew it was doomed to fail. "You're right," she said out loud.
You don't understand me anymore, Mama, and I don't understand you.
Her mother waited, the hopeful expression remaining on her face until she finally realized that Kagome wasn't going to elaborate on her answer. A flash of hurt and sadness played across her features as she finally heard Kagome's unspoken answer. At that moment, Kagome watched her mother intently. Come on, Mama, she thought quietly. Get angry. Yell at me. Say something. Don't give up, not yet! she cried out silently.
Her mother sighed softly and then gave her daughter a tiny, half-hearted smile of defeat. And in that moment, Kagome loved her mother more than anything else in the world. That was the reason the pain that stabbed through her heart at the sound of her capitulation was more intense than her physical wounds would ever be; she knew then with certainty that they would never understand each other. Time was linear, and Kagome would never be six years old again, and while her mother would always be waiting for her on the other side of the well, they were still irrevocably lost to one another. Yet another pair of victims to the jewel's fate. Kagome's hands clenched into fists and she forced out a weak smile.
"I'll always be here for you if you need me, Kagome," Mrs. Higurashi said, patting her daughter on the arm.
"I know, Mama." As her mother stood and turned to leave the room, Kagome's heart twisted painfully and she cried out before she could stop herself. "Mama!"
Mrs. Higurashi stopped, half-turned in the doorway and regarded her daughter curiously.
"I… I love you, Mama." Kagome smiled at her mother sadly, wishing she could explain her feelings with something more adequate than those three flimsy words. I'm sorry, she added silently.
Kagome's mother smiled in return, slightly bewildered by her daughter's unexpected declaration but accepting nonetheless. She paused and then widened her eyes, clapping a hand to her cheek. "Oh, that's right!" she exclaimed. "Your history teacher called."
All of Kagome's tender thoughts flew out the window, replaced with shock. She almost upturned the bowl of soup onto her lap as she registered her mother's words. "WHAT?" she finally managed to yell.
Mrs. Higurashi took her daughter's uneasiness to be fear. "Oh dear. Are you still having problems with that man?" she asked uncertainly.
"You could say that," Kagome answered evasively. "What'd he want?"
"Professor Michifusa seemed to be quite a gentleman on the phone. I don't know why he upsets your grandfather so much." She gave Kagome a small, encouraging smile. "He's not as bad as you think, Kagome. He was actually very concerned about your performance in class. I already mentioned that you wouldn't be able to attend today," she added, eyeing the bandages around Kagome's stomach.
"What'd you tell him?" Kagome asked quickly, her stomach curling in dread as she remembered the hoards of unbelievable excuses her grandfather had managed to cook up over the years.
"I only told him the truth, dear, that you were suffering from an unexpected injury." She gave her daughter an amused look as Kagome sagged against her bed with an almost comical sigh of relief. "You'll have to dress up, honey. Your teacher will be stopping by the shrine later this evening."
Kagome instantly tensed again. "He's coming here?" she asked incredulously.
Again, Mrs. Higurashi misread her daughter's nervousness, giving her an appeasing smile. "Don't worry, your grandfather doesn't know about this yet. Your teacher said the quality of your work has been dropping off in the last few weeks, and considering your special circumstances that it would be beneficial to have a private meeting."
"My special circumstances?" Kagome echoed with a note of disbelief. He told her what I've been doing? He remembers who he is? Rather than making her nervous that he had revealed his secret to her family, the thought made her giddy with excitement. He's coming to see me! was all she could manage to make her brain compute.
Kagome's mother regarded her daughter curiously. "Why yes, your history credit for the high school equivalency exam. What did you think I was talking about?" She frowned suspiciously. "Is there something else you wanted to tell me, Kagome?"
"No!" Kagome answered a little too quickly as she tried to push down her slight disappointment. So it's only Michifusa who wants to see me, not Sesshoumaru. Well, it's better than nothing! Flushing, she recovered and waved her hands at her mother. "No, it's nothing. It's just that he's a pretty tough teacher. I always thought he hated me," she added with a bright smile. Her appetite had returned with a vengeance, and with a grin, she grabbed the bowl of broth and began to eat quickly. "So when's he coming over?" she paused to ask.
"He was very eager to see our shrine. I think he'll be stopping by as soon as your class is over."
Kagome nearly spit out her broth. "That's in less than half an hour!" she yelled in surprise.
Mrs. Higurashi frowned again. "Yes, dear. Swallow before you talk, I raised you to have better manners than that."
Gulping, Kagome nodded meekly and put the bowl away. An idea struck her, and she smiled at her mother brightly. "Say, it's going to be late by the time he arrives. I know Mr. Michifusa's a bachelor, so I bet he'd appreciate it if you invited him to stay for dinner," she said happily. I bet he wouldn't, she thought privately, but she wasn't going to let that stop her from passing up the golden opportunity that was presenting itself to keep him at the shrine for a while longer. "Besides, who can refuse your cooking?" she added, trying to ignore the obvious problem of her grandfather's reaction to the news.
"That's a great idea!" Mrs. Higurashi said, clapping her hands together. As if she could read her daughter's mind, she smiled reassuringly at Kagome. "Don't worry, I'll handle Grandpa. That means I should get started right away, though," she added. "We'll be having an extra guest at the table tonight after all."
Kagome could almost hear her mom's thoughts turning as she bustled her way out of the room and downstairs to the kitchen. It brought a momentary smile to her face which soon faltered as she thought over their earlier conversation. I know Mama wasn't always such a homebody, but I can't remember her being anything else. There was a big difference between the daily struggle of cleaning the house and the daily struggle of avoiding death at the hands of marauding demons. Kagome found herself wishing that she shared some common thread of understanding with her mother besides her broken heart. "If wishes were fishes we'd all be throwing nets," she laughed tiredly.
Pushing the thought from her mind, she eyed the clock on her bed stand. "I'd better get ready," she mumbled, giving a small grunt of pain as she raised herself off of the bed and began to clean herself up. She thought over Michifusa's visit, wondering what she was going to say to him. Maybe it really is Sesshoumaru, she found herself thinking hopefully. A glance out the window showed that the setting sun was still hanging prominently in the sky, and Kagome sighed deeply. Maybe I really am too much of an optimist. Thinking about it, it wasn't too hard to understand why a very human Michifusa would want to see her; her grades had been slipping once again in the last few weeks as Naraku's efforts had intensified. All of the resolve in the world couldn't help Kagome overcome the simple boundary of human limitations; she had been pushing too hard almost constantly for the past month in both worlds. She was stretching herself too far, like a pat of butter scraped too thinly over dry toast. The only surprise to Kagome was that Michifusa would care enough to visit the shrine and help her; she would have expected him to be more likely to gloat at her failure.
The loud slamming of the front door caught Kagome's attention, and quickly, she finished dressing and ran her fingers through her hair, trying to make herself presentable as a wave of nervousness settled into her stomach. Stumbling into the hallway, she almost barrelled into Souta as he tromped up the staircase. The nervousness fled from her and she sighed in exasperation. "Oh, it's just you," she said with a small frown as she backed away from her brother. "What've you been up to, squirt?"
"None of your business," Souta muttered rudely, pushing past Kagome towards his room. He stopped as Kagome caught his arm and spun him around. "Hey, leggo!" he yelled at her, shaking free of her grip.
"Souta," Kagome said, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "We have to talk." For the past few weeks, it had been the same; whenever she was home, Souta stayed out as much as possible. And when they did talk, he was always rude and sulky. I swear, he acts like I'm a karmic curse on the household. Kagome was fed up with his behaviour, and she decided that she was going to get to the root of it right then and there.
"No we don't," Souta answered her, stomping towards his room. Kagome followed him doggedly, shoving her foot in the door and giving a little grunt of pain as he tried to shut it anyway.
"Listen, I can stand here and scream at you in the hallway until Mama comes upstairs, or you can let me in and we can talk," Kagome growled. "Now get out of the way!" she said, pushing the door to his room open and then slamming it behind her.
Souta rolled his eyes and ignored her, snatching one of his comics off of the floor and flopping down onto the bed.
"Souta…" Kagome warned as he ignored her, making a great show of flipping through the magazine very slowly. She refused to stop staring at him, knowing it was only a matter of time before he would get too uncomfortable to ignore her. It worked, and he lowered the pages slightly, glaring at her.
"You're the one who wanted to talk, so talk," he said cheekily.
Kagome felt her eyebrows lifting with surprise; he sounds just like me! she thought with a flash of pride. Only this time her attitude was backfiring on her. I don't want a confrontation, she realized. Sighing, Kagome hobbled over to Souta's bed and settled on the edge of it, just as her mother had done, and hoped that the outcome of her talk would be slightly better. "Why do you always have ants in your pants, munchkin?" she asked, reaching out and ruffling Souta's hair affectionately. She bit her lip to prevent a sharp retort when he slapped her hand away and stared at him, waiting for an answer.
"I don't wanna talk about it," he told her, crossing his arms and slumping away from her.
"Tough luck," Kagome answered firmly. Seeing him hunch over even more, she let out a little sigh. "I know it's something I've done, okay?" she told him softly. "But I can't make it right if you won't even talk to me," she added. "What'd I do to make you so angry, Souta?"
Souta only scowled, refusing to answer her, and Kagome's thin patience snapped in half.
"Fine. Don't tell me, then," she said sharply. "But even if you won't say anything to me, you'd better have some good explanation for your behaviour towards Mama and Grandpa. Don't think I haven't noticed!" she hissed. "If you want to hurt me, that's fine, but if you think I'm just going to sit by and watch while you hurt them, you've got another thing coming!"
That seemed to spur her little brother out of his silence, and he whirled on her, his face scrunched up with anger. "Like you can talk!" he yelled at her, his face flushing red. "What about you, huh, Kagome? What about what you're doing to them?" He glared at the look of shock that passed over her face. "Yeah, I bet you didn't notice anything," he said loudly, though the anger was beginning to seep out of his voice. "You never notice anything anymore. You're never here," he added, turning away from her so that she couldn't see his face. His telltale sniffle gave him away, though.
He's still so young, Kagome thought suddenly as she watched him rub at his eyes angrily. He hadn't sounded young when he was yelling at her, though; that was the problem, Kagome realized. Anger had twisted his countenance with a maturity that was severely out of place on his youthful face. And she realized belatedly that it was her that was forcing him to grow up. "Souta," she said softly, reaching for his shoulder. She hesitated, uncertain, and then dropped her hand onto his shoulder. He shied away from her touch, and it hurt her deeply. I won't give up, she thought suddenly, remembering the conversation she had with her mother. She grabbed his shoulder again, this time more firmly. "Hey, squirt," she said softly, refusing to allow him to push her away.
Souta held himself very stiffly under her hands, and then, gradually, the tension drained away from his shoulders. He still didn't turn to face her however. They stayed like that for a moment before he finally spoke. "Why do you always have to leave us?" he whispered sadly.
"I wouldn't if I had the choice," Kagome replied gently. She started as her brother finally turned to face her, staring solemnly into her eyes.
"Really?" he asked her, his expression knowing. "If you didn't have that stupid destiny that Grandpa's always telling us about, you'd stay with us?"
Kagome hesitated. I… I still love Inuyasha, she realized. And Shippou, he's practically a son to me now… Sango and Miroku, even Kouga… could I really leave them all? Her heart felt like it was ripping in two, and her indecision must have shown on her face, because Souta gave her an unhappy smirk and turned away from her once again. She quailed, suddenly realizing that must have been how Inuyasha felt, each time he was forced to choose between herself and Kikyou. Two-timer, her heart whispered. I thought you promised yourself never to hurt anyone as carelessly as Inuyasha did. She realized now that she had failed spectacularly, and it wounded her deeply. I won't run from my problems, though, she swore to herself as she watched her brother scrub away another tear angrily. At least in that much she would be different from Inuyasha.
"Souta," she said, grabbing her brother firmly and drawing him into a fierce hug. "I'm sorry. I know it's not much, and I know it's my fault. And I know you don't believe me, but if things could be different, I'd stay with you. Most of the time I wish I never fell down that well at all." She paused as she felt his shoulders shake, and tried to hold back her own tears, nestling her chin on top of his head. "You don't have to forgive me. I'm not asking for that, and I didn't earn it," she continued quietly. "But please believe me, just this once. I love you. I really do, I love you and Mama and Grandpa very much and I never meant to hurt you." She hiccupped and held her breath, afraid to release her brother and see his rejection. A part of her crumbled with relief as she felt his hands circle her waist and return her hug.
"I miss you, Kagome!" he sobbed, his cries muffled into her neck as she rocked him soothingly. He drew back suddenly as he heard her emit a quick hiss of pain and released her. "Kagome?" he asked, his eyes wide with worry.
"It's nothing," Kagome answered with a wince as her hand rubbed her injured side. Souta's squeeze had been a little too eager, and it was throbbing once again.
He clearly didn't believe her, and Kagome felt a wave of remorse at the look of fright that crossed his face. "Don't worry," she reassured him quickly, "It's just a scratch. I'll be better in a week, you'll see!" she added cheerfully.
"What if you die there?" he asked her quietly, his young eyes that were too old searching her face. He was angry and scared, Kagome realized, and his question had also frightened her.
What if I do die there? Closing her eyes, she gave her brother a shaky smile as the realization struck her. She only knew as much of the future as Sesshoumaru had seen. What happens after the jewel is complete? she thought. What happens to me? Do I even come back? She had grown so accustomed to accepting the idea that her future was predetermined that she had forgotten the possibility of life after the jewel. Sensing the tension in her little brother, Kagome tried to focus on words that would bring him comfort.
"Don't be silly, Souta," she said with more confidence than she felt. "Of course I won't die back there. We'll complete the jewel and then I'll come home. Everything will be—"
"Don't tell me everything's gonna be alright," Souta answered sharply, and she had to smile at his perceptiveness. "I'm not like Mama or Grandpa," he said stubbornly. "Stop treating me like a little kid!"
"You're right," Kagome said apologetically, hugging her brother carefully. "I don't know what's going to happen," she admitted, letting a little bit of fear sneak into her voice. "Sometimes it feels like I'm floundering in the middle of a big ocean and the undertow keeps trying to drag me down." She squeezed her brother more tightly. "I can't run away from this, though, not even if I wanted to. But I need you to be strong for me. Please, squirt. Sometimes it feels like you, Mama and Grandpa are the only things keeping my head above water."
"We're not any better," Souta told her, his answer muffled.
Kagome pulled away from him and held him at arm's length. "I know. That's why I need you to be strong, Souta." She stared at him with an intensity that silenced him, her grip on his shoulders becoming almost painful. "Promise me that you'll look after Mama and Grandpa if something happens. Promise me that you'll be there for them, since I can't." She looked at him sternly, and a silent understanding passed between them.
After a moment, Souta looked away, trying to hold back a few more tears. "I promise," he said sullenly, peering at her from the corner of his eyes. "But you still suck."
"Brat," Kagome laughed, blinking away her own tears and swatting him on the shoulder. "Get yourself cleaned up, we're having a guest for dinner," she told him as she stood up and made her way towards the door.
"Who?" Souta asked her. They both winced as the sound of their grandfather's loud yell answered the question.
"IEYASU MICHIFUSA?" It was surprising that the old man's lungs could achieve that much volume; Kagome figured it was all the fresh air he inhaled from constantly sweeping the shrine grounds. "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" he roared, shaking the floorboards.
"I think I'd better do some damage control," Kagome said with a wink as she gave her brother a little wave. "And Souta… thanks," she said softly.
He gave her a tired smile and a nod, and once again Kagome had to marvel at how much he had grown up while she wasn't looking.
AN: The "butter" metaphor is directly stolen from the first LotR movie.