Chapter Eight: Her Responsibility

"Kohaku!" Sango's voice rang through the air, torn by grief as she caught the falling form of her younger brother. He shuddered in her arms, his body contorted with pain as the shard embedded into his body was forcibly pulled from his back, which erupted in a fountain of blood.

"Big sister… you're okay…" he managed to mumble weakly as Sango knelt over him, weeping and desperately trying to stem the flow of his blood.

"Kagome! Look out!" With a jolt, Kagome was ripped away from the tragedy unfolding before her and thrown roughly to the ground. There was a sickening squelch and a loud crunch somewhere over her head, and she knew she had just narrowly escaped death.

"Are you alright?" her saviour asked breathlessly, and Kagome gave him a quick nod, hastily blinking away the tears that were clouding her vision. He smiled weakly at her in return, his face waxy and pale.

"I know. I wish I could comfort her as well. But now is not the time! … there is no time left," Miroku gasped, gripping his covered hand with an ugly grimace. He paused as he pushed himself off of her, grabbing her hand and for once not attempting to cop a feel. Instead, he stared at her, his dark eyes boring into her own as if he was willing her to understand his thoughts. "Promise me, Kagome. Promise me you'll tell Sango that I… that I couldn't…" he tried helplessly. Kagome watched his face crumble, for once the words failing the normally verbose monk. "Tell her I'm sorry," he finished hoarsely, grabbing his staff and sprinting away from her.

"Miroku! Wait!" she cried, reaching after him. It was too late; he was already unwinding the beaded ward on his hand and unleashing the fury of the wind tunnel. Kagome watched with horror as she recognized his goal; the tiny, child-like figure that stood to the side of the battle, holding her mirror and watching her approaching destruction as expressionlessly as she viewed everything else. She saw what he was trying to do; she knew Kanna would die, and then Miroku would follow shortly. Kohaku's life would seep out into the earth through Sango's fingers, and Kouga's would be snapped off violently by one of Naraku's disgusting appendages. She knew this would happen, she thought she had prepared for it, but now that the moment was upon her, Kagome still felt the full force of the pain and greeted every preordained event with surprise and dismay.

Not like this! I won't let it happen like this! Kagome bit her lip hard enough to draw blood and notched her bow, searching for a target, for anything she could do to slow down or stop destiny from unfolding. I was so stupid, she thought angrily, her bow wavering uncertainly over the writhing mass that was Naraku. I thought I could change things. I thought I had more time! She could see the jewel shining clearly within his body. Kohaku's last shard was slowly melding into the tiny ball, restoring it to a completed whole. The string of her bow tightened, but she held her shot in check as a blur of white smashed through Naraku's massive body, sending the half-demon's limbs flying away in a disgusting display of efficiency. Sesshoumaru. She knew it was him, even though his motions were too quick for her eye to follow. He had appeared for the final showdown with Naraku despite the standing disagreement he had with Inuyasha; apparently some things were still more important on his list of priorities than sibling rivalries.

Saving Kohaku's life, however, was not one of them. Neither was concerning himself with her, or anyone else's safety for that matter. He seemed to be there for one purpose only – to kill Naraku. It made Kagome want to scream with frustration. He could change so much if he only knew, she kept on thinking. Instead, everything was playing out neatly, almost as though it was scripted. They were simply actors in a well-choreographed dance, one that was killing them all.

"Pay attention!" someone yelled roughly.

Kagome blinked and looked up, feeling as though time was slowing down. Her arm quaked unsteadily as she tried to aim her shaking bow towards the mass of darkness that was rushing to meet her from Naraku's body. There was no hesitation on his part this time, no Inuyasha to swoop in and save her. It wasn't in the script for me to die yet! she found herself thinking in surprise as the curling mass of limbs lengthened and sharpened into deadly spikes. No, not for you to die, she answered herself as she heard a roar of anger. Automatically her eyes moved towards the source of the sound instead of remaining focused on her impending death.

Kouga was already running to intercept Naraku, his blue eyes wide and his mouth open as he shouted something to her. She wondered how he could even move, considering the heavy lacerations that covered his legs and torso, coating the lower half of his body in blood. Naraku had been less than gentle when removing Kouga's jewel shards; it was a miracle he could still walk. And yet there he was, slower than even Inuyasha now but still rushing to save 'his woman.' He's going to die! Kagome thought with alarm.

"KAGOME!" Inuyasha's roar rose above the rushing in her ears, cutting through the terrible dual vision of seeing Kouga's approaching death and imagining those tentacles bursting through his chest, writhing and tearing him apart from the inside out. She snapped to attention and her fingers released the taunt bow string, the arrow blazing a brilliant streak through the air.

"Kagome!" was all he had said; Inuyasha's voice, full of worry, anger and desperation. But in the space of one lungful of air, released in an ear-splitting shout, everything had changed. It was something that blindsided Kagome, something she never truly understood until the moment that Inuyasha's furious cry waked the knowledge inside of her. And as the arrow flew out, Kagome realized three things instantaneously.

I am not Kikyou. This was the first truth Inuyasha revealed; not only because he knew her name, and not only because Kikyou was actually there, but it was her name he had called out. She knew this because she understood why he had shouted her name at that very moment. It was not a concern for her safety; that he worried over her constantly even when they weren't in battle was already a given. His cry had been for Kouga, as unbelievable as it sounded. Apparently some things were also more important to Inuyasha than his rivalry with the wolf prince. It was a word that changed everything; he had not called out "Kagome! I'm trying to save you!" or "Kagome! Sorry, tough luck!" – what he named was the definition of herself, in a way that perhaps even he would not have understood. "Kagome!" he had yelled. "That stupid mutt's about to get himself killed! DO SOMETHING!" In that moment she knew.

I am not Kikyou.

Kagome had repeated those four simple, empty words to herself on an almost daily basis for three years, convinced that it was Inuyasha who had made her feel the need to separate her identity from the undead shrine maiden. It was ironic that he was the one who finally gave the words meaning, sealing one of the many wounds that had been left open in her heart for too long.

And so she did as he commanded her, and her arrow flew through the air like a brilliant shooting star. It whipped past a very surprised Kouga, almost purifying away the wolf demon's ear in the process and knocking him unconscious. It was a fine shot, precise and calculating, something that would have made her archery instructor proud had she believed in time travel and epic demonic battles. More impressive, however, was the spiritual power that sizzled through the shot. This was due to Kagome's second realization.

I don't need to surpass Kikyou. It was a natural conclusion to her first observation; she had always felt she was in some sort of unspoken competition with Kikyou, always vying to prove her differences with the other girl on every level. Who was the better archer, who had the greater spiritual power, who loved Inuyasha more. Suddenly, the comparisons seemed cheap and pointless. Kikyou was a better shot and had trained her holy powers for years. In terms of skill and ability, there simply was no question of who the better priestess was. But it wasn't Kikyou's name Inuyasha had called, and it wasn't Kikyou who could or would save Kouga's life in a battle.

This lead directly to Kagome's realization of the third truth, which brought something akin to relief to her bleeding heart of three years. Inuyasha believes in me. Suddenly, it didn't matter who he wanted to be with. No matter who he decided to give himself to in the end, she knew with certainty that he loved her in his own fumbling, crude way. She was Kagome, the girl from the future with the temper from hell, the bad aim and the face of his former girlfriend, and he loved her anyway. Even if she couldn't have him, knowing that they shared that bond brought warmth and confidence to her heart. It was reflected in the purity of her arrow, which blazed with a power and control she had never been able to exert before.

It streaked through the air, burning through the morass of blackness that was racing towards both her and Kouga. It flew into the heart of the darkness and wrought a piercing scream from Naraku, smashing through him cleanly. And as it drove through his chest, it radiated a spiritual power so pure that it turned the completed jewel a brilliant shade of pink. Unfortunately for the half-demon, the Jewel of the Four Souls was still in his body as it began to resonate in harmony with Kagome's spiritual arrow. With a painful snarl, his flesh contracted and he expelled the now-poisonous jewel from his heart. It shot away from him and bounced across the ground, rolling to a stop at Kagome's feet.

There was a figurative moment of silence as everyone realized what had happened. You are the only one who can purify the jewel, Sesshoumaru had said. It lay on the ground before her, winking innocently, yet another prophecy completed in a way Kagome had not actually expected. The moment expired as Kagome recovered and bent over, scooping up the pink jewel into the safety of her hands. Naraku's angry howl was still ringing through the air, barely discernable over the roar of Miroku's opened air-rip.

"Finally!" she heard Inuyasha snarl as he prepared his sword to launch another attack. Naraku won't be able to regenerate like before without the jewel, Kagome realized as she watched evil half-demon's face contort with surprise and anger. Another voice split through the tumult, halting Inuyasha's swing before he could complete it.

"Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru materialized in the air across from his half-brother, holding his own sword out confidently. It was vaguely unfair, Kagome noted, that despite the amount of damage he had done, his robes and hair remained a pristine shade of glowing white. "We must attack as one." He paused and gave his half-brother a disparaging stare. "Understand that this shall be the only time we ever collaborate," he added curtly.

"Heh," Inuyasha answered, his ears flattening on his head as a wry smile crossed his face. "Just try to keep up, you bastard!" he growled, launching himself towards Naraku.

This was meant to be, Kagome realized faintly as the two brothers' combined strike created a brilliant nova of light. The attack was terrible and destructive, and yet the burning light was a sight of beauty, cleansing away the wounds that Naraku had inflicted as it physically disintegrated his body. The power unleashed from the blast froze her in place and Kagome was hard pressed to remain standing as she brought her arms protectively in front of her face. When the stinging winds surrounding her began to dissipate, she cracked open her eyes. What she saw made her gasp in dismay. The energy from the impressive attack left a bright residual glare over Naraku's former body. Even as it faded away, however, Kagome spotted the tiny blot of darkness that was rising above the brilliant glow of the attack. That… that's Naraku's heart! "He's getting away!" she cried out, reaching for another arrow. Then the air above them exploded in a sudden, silent burst of light.

"Ki…kyou…!"

Naraku's pitiful, strangled cry faded away with the purifying light, the last remnants of his body finally burning to ash. Blinking, Kagome craned her neck towards the source of the blast and saw the undead priestess standing there, her arm still outstretched, bow in hand.

"Naraku is finally dead," Kikyou announced, her unblinking stare remaining fixed in the air as she slowly lowered her bow. The howling of the wind died away and an unexpected, surprised silence settled over the survivors.

For Kagome, Kikyou's pronouncement was like a temple bell ringing through a courtyard. Naraku is dead. The Jewel of the Four Souls is restored. It's finally over… everything is over. Gradually, she became aware of the sound of Sango's grief. Her friend's soft sobs broke the stillness of the aftermath, and another memory washed over her.

"This act destroys your friends completely."

Kagome slowly opened her hand and looked at the tiny, glowing jewel she held. Whole, purified, and lying in her palm, it looked almost beautiful. Almost. No matter how bright or pure or beautiful it seemed, Kagome knew the jewel would always be tainted with the stain of blood. It was a physical reminder of all the things that she, and so many others, had lost in its pursuit; their happiness, their lives, and always, their dreams. "I still hate you," she said to it softly.

"You cannot change the past."

Sesshoumaru was right; even as Inuyasha and Kikyou approached her, she felt the chains of fate wrapping around her. Everything was happening as he had said, despite her best attempts to change things. They squeezed around her chest, causing her heart to catch painfully and her breathing to become laboured. "Our fates really are pre-determined," she mumbled to herself as her hand clenched around the jewel tightly. All that was left was for her to hand it over to Inuyasha. And she knew what he was feeling, and couldn't find it in her heart to be upset at him. Inuyasha, she understood, no longer wanted to be a full demon, nor did he want to be a normal human. The only thing he would want would be what he always strove for – to ease the suffering of others.

Kikyou was the first to reach her, the smooth, angular lines of her pale face radiating her cold beauty. So empty, Kagome thought with sadness. If only things had been different… She realized, looking at Kikyou's melancholy features, that Inuyasha would want to help his former incarnation, to fill some part of the emptiness within her with something more than hatred. She also understood that Inuyasha would never make that wish for Kikyou himself. Kagome looked at the jewel in her palm and saw herself depositing it into Inuyasha's hands. She knew exactly how his ears would swivel nervously, his mouth taunt, twisted with both sadness and hope as he pressed the jewel into Kikyou's waiting fingers. Kagome understood Inuyasha was hoping that Kikyou would wish for life; just as she understood Kikyou, even filled with hatred and regret as she was, would never shirk her duty to the jewel for such a selfish wish. Inuyasha's naiveness would have almost been cute, if it was not so heartbreaking.

"Kagome," she heard Inuyasha say as he approached her, his bright eyes serious, twisting his youthful features into a maturity that looked out of place on the half-demon. "What're you gonna do with the jewel now?"

I can't fool myself any longer. I can't fight destiny. "Inuyasha… the jewel…" she murmured, folding her fingers over the cursed ball and squeezing it tightly. She was a puppet caught up in some greater artist's strings and she was tired of fighting a useless battle. Slowly her arm extended towards him and her eyes squeezed shut.

"What was wished for is done, and cannot be undone."

Kagome felt it was a solemn moment that should have happened in complete silence. It was a momentous event, after all; she had filled her role, played her part well, and it was all culminating to this final point. The moment was not quiet enough, however. Something buzzed at her ears, tickling at her consciousness. Kagome felt her eyebrows draw together as she tried to identify the irritation in the seamless tapestry destiny was weaving. There was the soft sound of Sango's weeping, punctuated by her brother's dying gasps; Naraku hadn't even blessed Kohaku with a swift death. But no… that was not what disturbed her; there was something else out of place, something which should not have been there. The sound of metal ringing against metal. Kagome's eyes shot open.

It can't be. This—this means—

The jangle of Miroku's staff sounded again. Miroku, who was limping slowly towards Sango, his own eyes suspiciously watery. Miroku, who should have been dead. His face was lined, and there was a new tuft of white in the hair springing out of his forehead that hadn't been there before, but it was definitely him. His hand was cradled against his chest, free of the protective wards that usually covered it, but as he managed to collapse by Sango's side, he looked anything but happy.

Kagome couldn't care less. He was alive. She sought out Kouga next, and her heart skipped a beat. He was sprawled over the ground, motionless, and there was a terrible red burn across his cheek where she had grazed him with her holy arrow. For a heart-stopping moment she believed he was dead, but then she saw the gentle rise of his chest. He's alive too, she thought, joy suddenly spearing through her. It was short-lived as she saw his chest hitch again, and she realized that despite her efforts, the wolf-prince didn't have much longer to live.

But he's not dead yet... and Miroku is still here! Sesshoumaru… you were wrong.

The thread snapped, and Kagome drew the jewel back towards her chest. "There is no past, and no future. There's only the present," she whispered softly to herself. Her words brought a brief, humourless smile to Kikyou's lips and a look of confusion on Inuyasha's face.

"What're you going on about now?" he grumbled, scratching his head as he sheathed his rusty katana.

Kagome held the jewel against her heart as a small smile played across her face. "I'm going to change things," she said decisively.

Inuyasha stared at her for a moment, his eyes wide with surprise. Then he gave her a lop-sided grin. "Feh. I guess you earned it," he admitted grudgingly. The trust he openly placed in her decision filled her with warmth and gratitude. It faded quickly under the weight of another stare, and Kagome turned to face it unwillingly.

As usual, Kikyou's face gave away nothing. Her steady, unblinking gaze unnerved Kagome, however, and she had the distinct feeling that the older girl disapproved of her choice. For a moment, Kagome was afraid Kikyou was going to openly scold her and demand the jewel for herself. To her relief, however, the priestess didn't say anything; she simply waited expectantly for Kagome declare her wish.

"Can you hang onto that wish for a little while longer, Kagome?" Inuyasha asked with a touch of impatience. "I gotta see about that mutt and the bastard," he added with exasperation. Though his face was drawn into a deep scowl, Kagome could tell Inuyasha was worried. His ears twitched back periodically in Kouga's direction, and he still held himself tensely, glancing uneasily from time to time in Sesshoumaru's direction.

"Go ahead!" Kagome answered quickly, scrambling to her feet. "There's… something that happens in my future, and I have to come up with a way to fix it. I don't want to mess it up, though, so I'm not going to wish for anything just yet," she added truthfully.

Inuyasha gave her a quick nod, and turned to leap away. He paused, looking back over his shoulder. "Oy!" he barked. "You did good," he told her gruffly, his eyes softening. They flickered to Kikyou's face, and his expression faltered slightly. "You too," he mumbled in a much more subdued tone. Quickly, he leapt away from the two girls before they could reply.

"You're welcome," Kagome replied with a tiny smile as she watched him land by Kouga's side. That two-timer never changes, she thought to herself with a small giggle. With some surprise, she realized she wasn't upset with him. She glanced over at Kikyou, whose eyes were also trained on Inuyasha's back. I guess… I understand now.

"Kagome." As if she could sense her stare, Kikyou turned her head slightly and focused her half-lidded gaze on Kagome. The older girl studied her silently before speaking. "About your decision…" she began.

Here it comes, thought Kagome. Here's where she tells me I'm not ready to shoulder the burden of the jewel and asks me to hand it over.

Instead, Kikyou only parted her lips slightly, her breath escaping in a soft sigh. "You must be absolutely sure of what you want." She tilted her head; it was a movement so slight, but so human, that Kagome suddenly wondered if Kikyou had ever felt the same confusion over her identity as she did. She wished she could have asked what conclusion the other girl came to; the time wasn't right, though. The time never would be right; conversations with Kikyou were anything but easy.

"Once I believed that I was strong enough to protect the jewel," Kikyou said quietly, her eyes closing. "I thought I had a pure love, and that Inuyasha and I could share a pure wish. It is Naraku who had to teach us both of our selfishness by corrupting that purity." She opened her eyes and levelled a pointed stare at Kagome. "Think carefully of the consequences of your actions. The Jewel of the Four Souls can and will pervert anything but the most pure of wishes."

Kagome felt a brief flair of indignation. Does she think I won't make a pure wish? she thought angrily, opening her mouth to answer Kikyou's warning. A stray thought stayed her objection.

"If you stir up the waters of time, they will become muddy."

Sesshoumaru's warning… Kagome didn't understand why she was thinking of it now. She had proven him wrong, hadn't she? Now was her chance to save him and all of the other demons in the world, and she wasn't going to let anyone stop her from taking it; not Kikyou, and certainly not Sesshoumaru's phantom warnings. Her eyes darted over the battlefield, seeking out his presence to reassure herself of her decision. It wasn't hard to find him; he was so white he practically glowed against the backdrop of the dark forest. She spotted him, standing near the edge of a copse of trees, watching their small group disinterestedly. He looks so… cold, Kagome thought to herself with surprise, unable to draw any comfort from his frigid, tall figure. His glare had been focused on Inuyasha up to that moment, but his eyes suddenly snapped to hers, as if he could sense her attention and parry it.

His cutting amber gaze caused the full impact of Kikyou's warning to strike home, thudding into her heart with the force of one of her purifying arrows. That's not him, Kagome reminded herself with an uncomfortable shiver. That's not the Sesshoumaru I know. The weight of Kikyou's knowing look was suddenly unbearable, and turned away from the priestess and squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't want to see Kikyou's pity or the true Sesshoumaru anymore, and was grateful as she heard the priestess turn and walk away, leaving her alone with her internal struggle.

I thought… I thought I wanted to save the demons of the world. I thought that would be an unselfish wish. As she looked at the younger, crueller Sesshoumaru, however, she suddenly understood her real motivation. I want to save him. I want to save my friend, the demon trapped in the future.

"There are consequences to each action we take…"

"I can't," she whispered as she felt something crack inside of her. He'll never be my friend if I save him. That Sesshoumaru will cease to exist if I make a selfish wish. We'll be separated, just like Inuyasha and Kikyou were torn apart.

"It's an unselfish wish," Kagome repeated out loud, her voice trembling. "It's not like he'd mind. I'd be doing him a favour, after all," she rambled on reasonably. "I don't understand why I'm making such a big deal of it!" she added indignantly. "That Michifusa is such a jerk…" A sob caught in her throat. "Who'd want him around, anyway?" she mumbled, her voice growing softer with every word.

You would, Kagome.

"But I love Inuyasha!" she told herself fiercely, clutching the jewel to her chest. "Sesshoumaru is… he's…"

He's important to me.

Kagome's sobs stilled and she listened to the beating of her heart. It's… it's not what I feel for Inuyasha, but… I don't want to let him go. I don't want to say goodbye to that person I know. She knew he wouldn't want to leave, either, despite the torture that was his modern life. A fragile silence in the quiet moonlight, the soft warmth of his hand in hers; those things told her more than his expressionless face, broke through the barriers of pride that would always hold his tongue in check. She opened one eye and glanced over her shoulder. Sesshoumaru, this Sesshoumaru, was still staring at her unnervingly, his features bordering on indifference to annoyance. She realized he was waiting for her to make a wish; most likely he wanted see if he would have to kill her or anyone else if she made it a bad one. There was no affection in his gaze, no friendship he was offering; this Sesshoumaru was a stranger to her.

I thought revelations about guys were supposed to be accompanied by bright lights and choirs of angels, Kagome thought ruefully. Falling in love with Inuyasha had been much that way, with his dashing rescues and unexpected moments of sensitivity. It wasn't until Kikyou was resurrected that her love had become a burden that dragged her into the ground rather than airy clouds that lifted her into the skies. This time Naraku's implosion provided the bright light and Sango's tears carried the melody of her heart. It was only fitting under those conditions that her realization was painful right from the start. She wanted to break down into tears and scream at the same time at the unfairness of it all; something that Inuyasha definitely would not have understood, considering that they had just defeated their arch-nemesis of three years. Somehow, though she had been able to break free of the linear destiny that had been painted for her, the reality of her choices were anything but liberating. Save Sesshoumaru and lose him, or allow the demons of the future to die and keep him? It doesn't matter what I choose. In the end, we won the battle but I still lost the war.

"Kohaku," she heard Sango whisper softly. Kagome blinked and looked at her companions. No… we didn't win the battle, either, she realized faintly.

"He doesn't look so good." Shippou, now, crouched with Inuyasha over Kouga's body. "Maybe we should take him to Kaede…"

"It's too late for that," Inuyasha answered, his face grim.

"Sango," Miroku was saying. "You have to let him go. We can't do anything for him anymore."

And through it all, Sesshoumaru's eyes on her, watching, waiting, cruel and calculating.

Kagome opened her palm and looked at the jewel, feeling physically ill. "Someone…" she whispered desperately. There was silence in the air, but the turbulence in Kagome's heart was louder than any physical sound. I'm drowning, she realized, feeling the icy grip of claws around her heart. Her vision blurred, and she felt like she was sinking into a deep, dark ocean. I'm drowning in the past. "Please… anyone… help me..." she cried softly, gasping for air.

A hand reached out and caught Kagome. It pulled her out of the black waters of despair, drawing her back into herself. As the spots faded from her vision and her panic died out, she realized the hand was still on her shoulder, and she looked up to see her saviour.

"You understand." Kikyou's face softened ever so slightly, and her fingers tightened. "I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes heavy with sympathy.

Kagome blinked away her tears and covered Kikyou's hand with her own. A pure wish. A wish that doesn't stem from my own selfish desires. Kikyou already knew that every moment of true purity came at a great price; the cure always seemed worse than the disease. She realized Kikyou was still trying to give her the chance, to free her of the jewel's curse and take it upon herself. It would be the easiest way, she thought tiredly. No worrying about what I might do to the future… and Sesshoumaru, he would stay. She allowed herself to dream for a moment, already knowing what her answer would be.

Gently, Kagome removed Kikyou's hand and clasped the jewel loosely between her own. "This cursed jewel causes nothing but pain," she said softly. I understand what Kikyou wanted to do, but I can't let her take this. And I won't make her mistake. I have to, for… She looked up at Sesshoumaru, who was still watching her interestedly. For… the future.

Kagome closed her eyes and made her wish.

As she felt the jewel break apart in her hands, one thought remained for a future that never existed.

I never got the chance to say goodbye.