-1A rather Angsty Chapter, but don't blame me… blame the music I was listening to!

Don'tLetMeGetMe: Mwahaha, next time, I'll let Harry be suffocated.

LadyBlueWolf: It was a nice glomp! I could give you a painful one, but I don't think that'd be very nice.

Radish Earrings: You wouldn't be…. Would you? Nah. Lost it. Sorry, hehe.

Draco's POV

I can't think, can't remember… don't want to think… don't want to remember…

The light illuminates my room but I have no desire to get up. I don't know what to think anymore; last night I snapped, completely. I showed the ultimate sign of weakness. I gave in. I actually asked to join Potter.

And its strange, because all of the hate has just melted away, and all that's left is a desperate longing to be part of something more, of an organisation where you can do things with liberty. I don't know if Harry took me seriously. He looked at me with such hate, such loathing, like I was the tiniest speck on the floor. And I felt like a speck on the floor. Like nothing - and I felt that I regretted that I didn't like him. All in a couple of hours, I've surrendered every single prejudice I ever held against him and his 'Golden Trio', and it's left a longing inside, a hollow that wants to be filled for once with some kind of love…

I can't believe I'm thinking like this, but it's the only way I can make myself feel any more desolate. Ripped to pieces by the servitude to the Dark Lord, and my own needs to be wanted. But its no good; his lot will never let me let me join them. I've dug a hole and I guess the only thing I can do now is try and stop it from getting any deeper.

I wish I hadn't spoken to Potter last night…

No. It was the right thing to do…

Draco, do you know the difference between right and wrong? No.

You've been brought up in a completely different world to them. You've been brought up in a world which you always thought was the right path…

But it's not… it can't be…

Look at me: not even knowing the difference between wrong and right, easy or hard.

And what did I say?

I asked Potter, like the most pathetic thing in the world, to protect Granger. And so he knows. I guess I should feel embarrassed, but I'm too hollow for that. I know that right now, I should be out looking for them, but whether I'd be doing it for the Dark Lord, or to join with them, I don't know. I don't know what to do. The path beneath my feet keeps changing, my footholds keep on crumbling…

XXX

I shiver, hidden in the crowds of muggles around me. I'm sitting on a park bench, passing the eyes by looking out over the many people in front of me. I'm supposed to be meeting with Bellatrix Lestrange here. Of course, she'll be disguised, but we've sidestepped these matters. There's a password…

I've finally collected my thoughts together. Not enough to decide on any course of action, but enough, at least, to see her. I'm not sure where my loyalties lie anymore, but tonight, I'll talk to Potter again. And I'll see his Order lot. But in the meantime, the Dark Lord's bidding must be done. No use in faking my own death, or running away. He'll know. The Order… Potter's lot, that's my only hope now.

A disgusting looking woman heads over in my direction.

I'm not sure if its Bellatrix, but she's sly. I haven't been told why this meeting is being held.

"Hello, sonny," the woman cackles. No. Not the password. It must just be some old lady, then. But still, I can't get my hopes up. There have to be other reasons this meeting was arranged.

I look vaguely into the distance. I'm not very good in these situations. Normally, I'd tell her to get lost, but the heart's totally gone out of me.

"You look rather sad, boy."

"Not really." I say coldly.

The woman laughs, but it sounds more like a cackle. She's ancient. "There's no need to be rude, son."

"I'm not your son."

She laughs again. "Typical of teenagers. You don't look so well, though. Having trouble?"

"No."

"I do know what you are, you know." She says, and my heart clenches, or what's left of it.

"What?" I hiss. She can't know I'm a Death Eater! I make to leave, the panic rising in my throat.

"Yes," she says knowingly, "my young wizard friend. That's right, isn't it, you are a wizard?"

Immediately, I relax. "Yeah, I guess you could say I am."

"And your name's Draco Malfoy…"

How does she…?

"No…" I hasten to say, but she's not to be swayed. There's a steely glint in her ancient eyes.

"There be folks who'd say you come from a dark family, Mr Malfoy… but I disagree. I think your servitude… is admirable."

"My servitude to who?" I say cautiously.

"Is there any question to whom? The Dark Lord. But you don't seem happy, do you? Not having second thoughts? Because you have to remember sonny, you do what's best for you."

How does she know all these things?

"I'm fine," I say stiffly. "I'm loyal to my family."

Why can't that be true?

The woman smiles, but the steely glint doesn't die.

"Wise choice," she says to me in a low voice, that makes my eyes widen. It's a smile that illustrates satisfaction and evil, like I've answered a question right. Then she leans closer, and I almost draw back I'm so disconcerted. What…?

And then she says, and I know who she is from it:

"Snakes and Ladders…"

And with that, Bellatrix gets up, and walks away.

But I've passed the test. She still thinks I'm faithful.

Thank you…

XXX

I fall into sleep, but it isn't any old dream, and this time, he's waiting for me. I stand on the ethereal floor, made of the mists of thought, and walk over to him, not sure what to say: to do. How can I say anything, especially now he thinks I'm some kind of weak being that doesn't even have the right to be called human. It just goes to show how low I've fallen, to think that of myself. But I've been driven to it…

"Potter?" I say, and my voice sound hoarse and unwelcoming.

"So," he says, "it's back to Potter now."

What does he mean by that? I've only ever called him by that name, haven't I?

"When…"

"The Order have agreed to see you tomorrow at six o' clock. Be here sharp…"

He shows me a piece of paper that's obviously had the address written on it by the secret keeper; it reads:

"Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place".

"…And remember to wipe your feet when you come in," he says humourlessly, "I don't want you getting mud all over my carpet."

"But…"

"I don't have anything else to say to you, Malfoy, until you are proved trustworthy by the Order."

"But… you don't… you don't believe me?"

Harry looks away at that. "It's not up to me, Malfoy. It's the whole Order's decision."

"So you do…?"

"Good bye."

" - Bye."

But he's already gone.

A/N: So, next chapter, we see if the Order take in Draco. Exciting, huh?