12Home Again Home Again

Rachel let us in, smiling to see my well-rested look, and led us into the kitchen where she had started making breakfast. I sat at the work island and began helping, talking to her about my life in California and my plans.

Naomi was the first down, bouncing with ideas, sketchbook in hands. On seeing us, she set the book down and came to us with hugs and kisses. "You look so refreshed, darling!" she said to me. "I knew talking about the future would be so much fun, and help you feel better. You've been so quiet lately, I was worried about you. I know you have to be like," she began.

"Darling, can you get the juice from the refrigerator," Rachel said softly. "I'm afraid I was a bit too ambitious with those pancakes, and my back is giving me a twinge or two." She sat down with an audible wince.

"Oh, momsy darling, I'm sorry! Let me do the dishes and get the juice; you just sit."

She hopped up and got to work, and I found Rachel winking at me.

Couldn't I just smuggle her home with me? I wondered.

Xavier saw the look in my eyes, and tried not to laugh.

"Oh, mother," I called out, "I hate to bring the visit to a close so soon," she made a noise of protest, "I know, but I got a call last night, and they need me back in California like this evening. I have a few hours free, but then I really have to go. I wouldn't go, really I promise, but it's an emergency."

"Well, you have to come back as soon as it's over," she said, looking pouty.

Before she could erupt into tears, or throw something, I was up in a flash and hugging her. "Okay, I will come back so many times, you will be sick and tired of me, but not without leaving you my email address, my phone number and my address. You have to promise to call me once a week – Sunday evening would be best for me – and email as much as possible. I want to see how your art is doing!" I kissed her on the cheek.

She didn't know how to react. Here I was, basically saying I wouldn't go with any of her last night plans, but also saying I wanted to keep in touch with her. Should she be upset, or happy? I could see it working in her mind.

"Mother," I said sweetly. "Tell me when your birthday is, so I can visit then?"

She beamed, and all was well. We had a good breakfast, and I went with her to her art gallery while Xavier got us new plane tickets. I enjoyed looking at the art, and talking to Naomi, but I was even gladder to leave. I hugged her, kissed her, and got in the taxi.

"Home again, home again, jiggedy-jig," Xavier quipped as the taxi pulled away from the curb.

I giggled into the collar of his coat.

Mary was waiting for us at the airport, and handed baby Annie-Julie to Xavier so she could hug me. "So, how was it? What was she like?" she asked.

I stopped cold. "What are you talking about?" I asked.

She laughed. "Your birth mother, silly. What, you don't think I ferreted out the truth already? I know enough about genetics – your dark eyes made me ask questions, and this sudden trip made me dig into Dad's files. So, how was she?"

"Has the FBI thought about recruiting you? The CIA? Have you thought about a career in espionage?" I fired back.

She grinned. "Maybe once Annie-Julie's a bit grown up. Now I'm settling for digging up family mysteries. Just call me Nancy Drew!"

"Just call you scary," I joked back, even though I felt a little sick to the stomach. "So, have you…"

"Told the others?" She looked indignant. "No. That's for you to decide, not me! What do you take me for? A snitch? I may forgive you that…"

"If I tell all," I said, with a sigh. "Okay, let's go have something real to eat, and I'll spill the beans."

We had supper at TGI Friday's, for the ambience Mary said with a grin, and I told her all about how I'd learned I was adopted, and what my birth mother Naomi and her family was like. Mary wondered idly if she wasn't really Naomi's mother, having the same emotional ups and downs, and I had to tease her for that. "So, what, you switched our eyes when? And how could I be the older sister and have come of age after you?" She dismissed these questions as mere details, and asked more questions about New York.

I had a great time, and I was quite relieved that Mary knew. At least around her, I wouldn't have to keep a secret, pretend my lifer hadn't changed utterly. Sure, I knew I would have to tell the others eventually, for one thing so I could explain why this woman was calling and writing me all the time, but for now…

For now, I was back at home, and I didn't have to think about New York, Naomi, or being adopted except in the abstract.

We got back to the house, and I greeted Mom and Dad with hugs and kisses. "This is home," I said to them simply. "You are my parents. I'm staying here, I'm getting a job here, and I'm finding an apartment in town so I'm close by."

"So, was she…" Mom began.

"She's nice, sure, but she's not you," I said. "I never realized how peaceful you are, or how sweet and kind and giving. I took it for granted that all mothers were like you, and boy was I wrong. She's all ups and downs, happy and sad, angry, moody, hyper, you name it. You raised me knowing myself, knowing my world was basically a safe place. I cannot thank you enough for doing that, mommy. I can't imagine what it would have been like to be raised in such a rocky fashion."

Mom was so touched, she wiped away a tear and hugged me.

"And I am so glad to have you for a father," I said to Dad. "She found someone else to love – in fact, two someone elses – but compared to you, he was a nonentity. I don't even remember what he looked like. You raised me to be a solid, happy citizen of the world, to move past the rough spots in life, to have faith in good times and bad, to live and learn, and I thank you for that. Because of you and Mom, I am who I am."

They both hugged me.

"Now, if you don't mind, I would like to get unpacked and get some sleep." I yawned. "We can talk more over breakfast."

They hugged me and sent me off to my shared room.

Maybe this is the end of my little story, you think? Maybe I got up the next morning, brave, and told the others I was adopted? Or maybe I waited a week or so, and then told them, and they all accepted it and assured me they still loved me. Maybe I got a job, got a place, settled down, and lived a good life, marrying Xavier, calling Naomi, or writing, and once in a while visiting for a few days here and there, and all went well.

Or maybe I came downstairs the next morning, and found Naomi in the kitchen with my heart mother and heart father, chatting merrily, and maybe she said, as I came into the room, "Guess what? I've decided! Since you find California to be home, and I don't want to be separated from you, I will move here to be with you!"

Or maybe that was just a dream, and I woke up gasping in horror, and came down to find all was normal?

You will see…