Disclaimer: We didn't mention it previously but, uh, Star Wars? Not ours. vague hand motion You do not wish to press charges. But if it was? Sorry George Lucas, but we'd even trade Harrison Ford in for Dr. House, similarly not ours. vague hand motion David Shore wishes to sell us the rights… well… we'll try anything… what?

She'd assumed he'd been teasing, and that he didn't really intend to take her anywhere. So when at 9:05 there was a knock at her door, she was completely unprepared for what she saw.

"I thought I told you to wait outside! Do you have any idea what kind of hell three flights of stairs is on a bum leg? And when I'm giving up my precious time to drag you to a geek convention."

She could only stare, the words barely registering. House was at her door, annoyed expression on his face, wearing Chuck Taylors, a pair of jeans... and a Star Wars t-shirt.

"Well, are you coming, or are you going to stare at my admittedly gorgeous body all night?"

Lost for words, she grabbed her purse and jacket and followed him.

When she regained her voice, they were cruising along in his corvette, well on their way to...wherever they were going. Knowing it'd be pointless to ask questions, she sat back and tried not to think of what her mother would say if she knew what she was doing.

Finally, they pulled up by a building, surrounded by a bunch of people, most wearing Star Wars stuff. Oh God, she thought, he ACTUALLY took me to a geek convention.

Seeing the look on her face, House's mouth twitched, "Calm down, it's not a convention."

"Well then what's with all these people, and where in hell's name did you drag me?"

He smiled and pulled a picnic blanket out of the trunk of the car. "Outdoor theater. They're showing 'The Empire Strikes Back'"

Noticing the stunned look on her face, he shifted uncomfortably and said "Well, sheesh, I'm not completely heartless. This is about as close to an apology that you'll ever get from me so just enjoy it while it lasts, ok"

Beaming, she glanced up at him slyly, "I'll only forgive you if you buy the popcorn"

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Not only had he paid for the popcorn, she managed to con him into Milk Duds and sodas. He wasn't quite sure how she managed it, but when they got back to the ratted quilt, he was loaded down with enough goodies to choke a bantha. She'd asked him about the quilt when he'd set it up…somehow he didn't quite seem the quilt type. Or the type to set one he did have on the ground.

He muttered something unintelligible along the lines of "My Aunt Aggie's, warm, but I never liked her very much…" She smiled sweetly.

"I'm sure the feeling's entirely mutual." That earned her a snarky grin.

"Could you take these treats?" he asked irritated.

"I dunno, I kind of like having my own personal valet…"

"No. I mean so I can get down. It's kind of something I need my hands free for."

She blushed, completely flustered, and obliged. Helplessly, because she KNEW he would not let her help, she looked on as he gingerly lowered himself to the ground. He switched his cane from it's usual right side to the left, lowering himself slowly as he used his free hand to arrange his right leg, slightly bent in front of him. When he was settled in a quasi-indian style position, he set the cane across his lap. He looked up at her then, and she realized suddenly that she was staring. Before she could fluster out an apology, he simply patted the spot on his left, gesturing for her to sit. She was saved an awkward silence as the music blasted from the speakers as only John Williams can. Then, all nervousness dissipated as he narrated the legendary scrolling text in a pathetic British accent:

"It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial Troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.,"

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They managed to survive the icy winds of Hoth, but their good moods couldn't last through Luke's trip to the Dagobah system. This part of the movie, being without Han Solo, or even Yoda yet, was SO dull that it left room for conversation.

"House?"

"Y'know, I never understood why Luke was the hero. Look at him, he's a loser."

"House?"

"I mean, I have a gimp leg and I could probably avoid most of the messes he gets into…"

"GREG!"

"Hm? Oh, what is it, Al?"

She rolled her eyes at the abbreviation, but let it slide. "I just wanted to say, it was really sweet of you to invite me to this."

"Sweet? Me? Wilson said I had to apologize so…"

"Wilson told you to take me to a movie?"

"No. But he told me to apologize and…"

"What? You used it as an excuse to take me on a date?"

He made a sudden movement at this that knocked his cane from it's resting place, nearly taking out his eye. "A date? You and me? Hah! You are as pure as the driven snow and I am a warped old man for whom dating leads to only one thing. And, darling, hookers are much cheaper for that."

She stared at him for a second, eyes blazing with unshed tears or fury, she wasn't sure which, and then she stood up ready to storm out.

"Ok geeks and geekettes…You all know what time it is…."

"Oh, Christ. Cameron! Wait!" He grabbed hold of her arm and his cane, trying to hoist himself up and detain her all at once.

"It's movie-oke time! And it looks like we have some volunteers!"

Cameron and House looked up in surprise as a spotlight hit them and a pimply faced college kid in Jedi robes with a paper sash denoting him "Chief Geek" approached them with a grin on his face. "Well you're a likely Han and Leia. Plenty of anger rolling between the two of you, brilliant!"

"Oh no, no no no no NO. Where are you taking us? Hey wait, slow down, my leg…" House was cut off as he and a very bewildered Cam were deposited in front of the paused movie and his cane snatched away from him. ("Not very Han-like!") He grabbed Cameron's shoulder, desperately trying to stay upright in this very public setting.

"Ok, now we ALL know this scene, so for those of you new to the game, here are the rules. We pick out a lucky pair from our audience and they get to act out the scene as it plays behind them. No peeking! And of course the sound is cut, so it's just our pidgeons, I mean players carrying it. Action!"

Cameron was still trying to pull away, but House was still holding on to her shoulder for dear life and she did NOT want to be held responsible for him taking a tumble, no matter how much he deserved it.

House was a little at a loss for what to do. Somehow, looking at the overeager self-proclaimed "Chief Geek" he knew that he would NOT get his cane back unless he played along.

"Hey, your worship I'm only trying to help!"

He was holding her shoulder already, so he simply yanked it a bit to get her to turn to him. Maybe he could apologize without actually having to say the words.

She wanted to pull away, support be damned, and let him fall flat on his face. She nearly went through with it when the bizarre adolescent poked her in the back with his light sabre and stage whispered: "Would you please stop calling me that! That's your line!"

She rolled her eyes and poured as much venom into the words as she could.

"Would you please stop calling me that?"

He winced, but he had to keep going…his cane.

"Sure…Leia"

He looked at her, pleading with his eyes as hard as he could, gesturing madly with his eyebrows at his cane. She nodded curtly, but glared at him all the same.

"You make it so difficult sometimes!" How oddly appropriate, she thought.

"I do, I really do." Unlike his counterpart onscreen, he tried to look sincere. He needed an ally after all. "You could be a little nicer, though. Come on, admit it, sometimes you think I'm alright."

Her eyes softened a bit. She'd gotten the apology. "Occasionally. Maybe. When you're not acting like a scoundrel."

He grinned inwardly. She'd forgiven him, apparently. And who knew she would actually know all these lines? "Scoundrel? Scoundrel. I like the sound of that." His vice grip on her shoulder transitioned to her hand.

"Stop that." She smiled. This was actually kind of fun, and it was amusing to see House doing something so…sweet, even if it was only acting. She'd take what she could get.

"Stop what?" He was starting to enjoy himself, he hadn't done anything like this since the drama class been forced to take in high school, which he'd never admit to having enjoyed.

"Stop that, my hands are dirty"

"My hands are dirty too, what are you afraid of?" He'd moved in a bit, as his counterpart onscreen had. Who knew he was such a good actor? Cameron filed it away for later. It could be valuable blackmail…

"Afraid?"

"You're trembling" He moved in closer, enjoying the tension in the audience.

"I'm not trembling." She did tremble a little, even knowing that House would never kiss her as the scene demanded, they were still REALLY close.

"You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life." He could see she was enjoying this. He was close enough to actually see the laughter flickering in her eyes.

"I happen to like nice men." Those brilliantly green eyes…

"I'm nice." It was almost a whisper. He was lost for a second staring at them.

Wanting to give him an easy out, she snorted lightly. "C'mon House! You're not ni-"

Then her green eyes became huge as he cut off the rest of her words, and thoughts, quite efficiently with one mind-blowing kiss. Then they closed as the kiss deepened.

But his eyes shot wide open, as the geeks applauded and he suddenly remembered EXACTLY where he was and with whom he was currently "locking lips". He broke away as if he were on fire, which it felt like he was, and nearly fell over in the process.

"CANE! NOW!"

Cameron snapped out of her trance at the sound of his bark and the following step-thump as he high-tailed it back to the picnic blanket.

He whipped around to look at her. "What are you looking at?"

She just smiled. He could pretend it didn't happen…

….but she wouldn't forget.

Ok. Notes.

Hoth: Friggin' cold ice planet. (Tauntauns, whee!)

Dagobah: Yoda. Swamp. Nothin' else.

Harrison Ford: Teh sexy.

Jeeves and Wooster would like thank the good people at Swiffer Sweeper for creating such a useful stand-in for House's cane when we were trying to answer the question "Exactly how would House sit down?"

New chappie coming… maybe… muahahaha!