'Disclaimer: House is not ours. If he was, we'd have to write stories in which he was always in character that were always believable. And what's the fun in that. We don't want House….Wait. What the hell are we saying?

A/N: We apologize for the wait. Jeeves was in summer school, and seemed to think that an education and a life were more important that fanfic (What do you mean life? –Jeeves). How dare she? So here it is, the long awaited, (we hope) new chappie! We hope we didn't lose your interest…. please come back. Please? WHERE ARE YOU?

A New Chappie, The Empire Kicks Back in, and The Return of The Story

Aka: Chapter Three: Darth Cuddy

Chase and Foreman were excited. They had banned together, and they were ready for the piece de resistance. They broke into House's office, (they had plenty of experience after all, with all their "researching" of patient's environments), and hit the eject button on his VCR. They replaced the General Hospital episode with their own VHS and waited for Cameron to arrive and sort through House's mail.

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Cameron was in a good mood as she walked into Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital that day. House may have pretended that "movie-oke" had never occurred, but it had still happened, hadn't it? "He may not love me," she thought, "but at least he's attracted to me." She smiled, she could settle for that, for now. She was startled from these thoughts when she heard the familiar step-thump of the person in question. She looked up, following the line of his cane up to his amazing blue eyes.

"Good morning, Dr. Cameron." He avoided her eyes. Better not chance that again… He was still convinced it had been a fluke, spur of the moment kind of thing. Better to pretend it had never happened.

His reaction was expected, and she was merely amused. "Good morning Dr. House," she said to his relief.

They walked to his office together, not talking. They were confused to find Chase and Foreman already in there, apparently watching a movie.

"Hey, Cameron," said Chase slyly, "We felt terrible for teasing you yesterday, so we decided to make it up to you."

"Yeah," said Foreman, snickering, "We brought your favorite movie."

By this time Cameron and House had entered the room and could see the screen of House's TV. A man in a brown robe knelt by a small silver and blue droid. Across from him, a young man with really bad blond hair was talking to him. The House-Boys looked up, expecting to see a furiously blushing Cameron, only to find that both she and House had rather amused expressions on their faces. The biggest shock was to come though.

"Obi Wan Kenobi? Obi-Wan. That's a name I haven't heard in a long time"

House and Cameron, with twin looks of mischief on their face, yelled at the screen in chorus: "HOW LONG?"

"A long time" Alec Guinness answered from long ago and far, far away.

And to Chase and Foreman's wide eyed stares, Cameron swept out of the office for coffee, whistling, and House returned to his desk. Seeing that they had miscalculated somewhere, they picked up their things and high-tailed it out of the twilight zone.

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Wilson walked into work to find Cameron whistling.

Well I'll be damned, Wilson thought as he ran towards his friend's office.

"Morning, Wilson. Unless you've brought me the newest Zelda game, get out."

"Well, she didn't kill you, so that means that the apocalypse has arrived and you actually apologized."

"What ARE you talking about?"

"You know perfectly well I'm talking about Cameron. So big bad Dr. House actually said 'I'm sorry'."

"I did no such thing, the words do not exist in my vocabulary."

"Then you didn't apologize?"

"I made it up to her, I just didn't say the 's' word"

"How?"

"I took her to see a movie."

Wilson waited patiently for the punch line. When one didn't arrive, and when House didn't look up from his video game, his mouth dropped open.

"You took her on a DATE?"

That got his attention, if the jerk in his hands followed by the "game over" music was any indication.

"You told me to apologize!" he snarled murderously.

"I didn't tell you to take her to the movies! Please say it didn't have a love story in it. What movie did you see?"

"The Empire Strikes Back"

"At the outdoor theater? Are you crazy? What'd you do, quote lines with her while you sat on a picnic blanket eating popcorn?"

One look at his friend's face told him all he needed to know.

"Christ, House, you're completely sunk."

That REALLY ticked him off. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Greg, you may be a chronic bastard, but you're not a moron, you know EXACTLY what I mean."

And he doesn't even know about the ki-… On second thought, maybe it's better not to think along that road….

Seeing his friend's face go through the transformation of someone panicking to someone hiding something, Wilson got the distinct impression Gregory House wasn't telling him the whole story. Had Cameron said something that embarrassed him? It seemed the most likely occurrence. Gleeful at the prospect of teasing his friend some more, Wilson got to work.

"Something happened, didn't it?" he said slyly, extremely pleased at the gleam of pure terror in House's eyes.

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The loud beeping of the monitors alerted the nurses on hand. Paging Drs Foreman, Chase, and Cameron as they went, they rushed to Mr. Dallas' room.

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"I have no idea what you're talking about, James. I told you. I took her to a movie. It wasn't a DATE it was an APOLOGY and you can stop playing any sick little fantasies you've got running through your head right now."

She must have REALLY embarrassed him, thought Wilson gleefully, He isn't even managing a single sarcastic comment.

"Aw, come on House, you can tell me! I'm your best pal. I could sign a contract in blood promising not to tell."

"NOTHING HAPPENED!"

"Ok, ok. If you won't tell me, I'm sure Cameron will." Dread filled House's eyes, Wilson pretended not to notice. "I passed the break room on the way down here and heard her telling Foreman and Chase that they wouldn't believe what had happened last night. At the time I supposed she was talking about the latest episode of Lost, but…." He was cut off as an enraged, and panicked, Dr. House rose out of his chair, and then sank back with a moan after putting too much weight on his leg. Wilson rushed to help him, but House was already up again.

"SHE WAS WHAT?" he was panicked. Wilson looked at his friend, shocked. "Sh-She wouldn't! I mean, it was only one kiss and it was just a fluke it didn't mean anything and what's the big idea jabbering about it like this was high school and…." He trailed off as he saw Wilson's face slide through various degrees of shock and land happily on an expression most suited for children waking up to see Santa Claus had come early.

"Oh," he said, echoing his words from months before, much to House's horror, "Oh boy." House's eyes got wide as he realized what he'd done. "Cameron kissed you?"

"No."

"But you just said…"

"I kissed her," he admitted, staring hard at his Nike Shox.

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A sweating, pallid Mr. Dallas had rolled over and pushed the call button, then had rolled back into his bed clutching his chest.

"My heart!" he gasped out to the doctors arriving in his room. "Oh God!"

"Mr. Dallas, can you describe the pain?" Foreman queried.

"Well," he gasped. "Center left side," he patted his chest, "also in arms, back, and shoulders." Talking was causing him to approach hyperventilation.

"Mr. Dallas, could you sit up, perhaps?" Cameron asked.

He moved upward into a sort of slouch, still clutching his chest. "Well, that's a little better. Umm, it's kinda bright in here though," he said squinting. "Could we turn down the lights?"

"What? Why?" asked Chase.

"Well, I probably should have buzzed you when the headache started…" he shot a weak smile at Cameron.

"Yeah, you 'probably should have'."

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"You kissed her?" Wilson stared at his friend, a little lost for words. "You kissed her?"

"It was an accident! It didn't mean anything. We got dragged into this movie-oke thing and I was supposed to kiss her for the scene and I just got caught up in the acting and…"

"You got caught up in the acting? Are you sure?" Wilson gave his friend a skeptical look. "Or did you get mesmerized by her lips or something?"

House stared at his Shox, "Her eyes, actually."

Wilson just looked at his friend, smiling a little, but with a bit of awe on his face. "You're in love with her."

House sputtered. "No I'm not!"

Wilson raised his eyebrows at him.

"I am NOT in love with her. It's just attraction. She's a gorgeous specimen. My glands got carried away."

"Oh really. Tell me something Greg. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

He waited patiently while House rolled his eyes, and then closed them. James grinned at the moment he saw it hit him.

House's eyes flew open. "Oh crap," he said. Wilson laughed hysterically.

"Y'know…You have to tell her," he said when his breath came back.

"Yeah. Yeah, I know."

Just then, Cameron ran into the room.

"Dr. House! It's Mr. Dallas." She sounded frantic. "He's suffering from pericarditis and encephalitis. We need you. Now."

"Not my case."

"But…"

"I gave it to you kids. You can figure it out. You're a smart group. I'm not helping."

"Good." This came from the doorway, where a smirking Dr. Cuddy was leaning against the jam. "Since you're not busy…clinic duty. Now."

"Bleaugh!" With a strangled yell, House grabbed Cameron and tried to hide behind her. Wilson tried VERY hard not to laugh.

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Nice try House, that is without a doubt your worst hiding space ever. Your cane is sticking out. And you're a good six inches taller than her. Come along, there's a baby who won't stop crying, a kid with a marble up his nose, a girl with a nasty case of cramps and they all have worried and hysterical mothers."

"You ARE evil," he said with awe, and he followed her down the hall, humming the Darth Vader theme. Wilson stopped trying not to laugh.

A/N: Hey, y'all. Wooster here. Hope you enjoyed this chappie. If you did, you might wanna check out "Playing Games", a little fanfic I've been cowriting with Randa05. Wooster! What Jeeves? You can't plug your story here! Especially when you wrote it with someone else! This is my space too you know! Yeah, but you OWE me for abandoning me for practically the entire summer and not getting your updates done! Oh fine…plug your story. Thanks, already done so.